Serendipity
by onceuponatime2011
Summary: AU: What if Lucas Friar didn't move to New York when they were in the 7th grade? What if he moved to New York when they were in the 11th grade? What if he's not quite the same Lucas we know because he didn't have the positive influence of a certain brunette earlier in his life? Riley/Lucas centric with other pairings. Rated T for language and abuse (emotional and physical).
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Still working on "Home". I've been developing this idea in my head for a few weeks and wanted to start it as "Home" is being finished up. This story is going to be a long one...longer than Pas De Deux. Speaking of, I am planning a sequel to Pas De Deux, I've even begun to write it, I'm just nervous about giving that story a sequel since I do think it stands well on it's own.**_

 _ **This is another high school AU. What if Lucas didn't move to New York when they were in the 7th grade? What if he moved to New York when they were in the 11th grade? I know the summary seems generic, but I want to see where this one goes. Hopefully you guys like it.**_

* * *

Serendipity

 _Serendipity:_ _the act of finding something valuable or delightful when you are not looking for it_

 _Chapter One_

 _Beep. Beep. Beep._

Riley Matthews groaned as her alarm clock pulled her out of the bittersweet slumber she was in. She was right in the middle of the recurring dream she had a few times a year for the last four years. Her best friend, Maya Hart, and herself were riding to school on the subway, just like they had every day for the last four years. She couldn't have been more than twelve years old. They were taking about how Riley could be more outgoing and rebellious like her friend was. Suddenly, she saw _him_. Riley could never recall exactly what he looked like. He always seemed to be blurred out for some reason. It was more the feeling she had when her dream self laid eyes on him. In her dream, when she looked at the mystery guy, everything around her just seemed to click together. It was as if something that she wasn't aware that she was missing in her life was suddenly found. Though she couldn't see his face, she just knew that whoever this guy was would play a pivotal role in her life.

She rolled over as she begrudgingly climbed out of bed. Of course that dream wasn't her reality. Four years of having that dream had only made Riley bitter about the peacefulness of finding him once again. She knew that wasn't reality. It wasn't how the world she lived in worked. It was just a silly dream. Love at first sight didn't exist; she knew that for a fact.

She wandered around her room as she began to piece together her outfit for the day. She wasn't sure why the dream, which once made her so blissfully happy, had now made her feel so bitter.

She knew that she had a great life: she had a great group of friends at school, her family was the best family she could possibly ask for, she had managed to maintain her hard fought spot on the cheerleading team, and…she had him. She should be perfectly happy with her life. She really couldn't ask for much more than what she already had.

As she brushed her hair, she looked at herself in the mirror. If she knew that her life was perfect, why did she feel like something important-perhaps a piece of her own self-was missing?

* * *

Much like the subway car in the dream that haunted her, Riley found herself standing with Maya in the subway, as they did every day they had school, waiting for their stop. They were both silent, both lost in their own thoughts. Riley's thoughts were still focused on her dream while Maya's thoughts were more centered in reality.

"Why do we have to be in school for twelve years," she whined. When she didn't hear a response from the brunette beside her, Maya gently nudged her arm. "Riles? Did you hear me?"

"Hmm," she asked as she tried to pull herself away from the brooding session that had taken up residence in her mind. "I'm sorry," she laughed lightly, "What were you saying?"

Maya sighed. "What's wrong?"

Riley shook her head. "Nothing." When she noticed that her best friend wasn't buying it, Riley groaned. "It really isn't anything. I just…I had that dream again last night."

"Oh? The mystery man," Maya sang out playfully. When she noticed that Riley wasn't laughing, she became more serious. "You've had that dream for years, Riles. You used to love that dream. You never stopped talking about it. You looked for him on the subway every day in 7th grade."

Riley shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just grew up. It's ridiculous anyway. Why would I keep dreaming about something like that?" She looked around them. "And why does it have to be on a subway? Why couldn't it be somewhere more romantic…somewhere tropical." ' _Somewhere on a deserted beach, perhaps,'_ her thoughts continued, _"Or maybe at the top of the Empire State Building. Who ever heard of meeting your soul mate on a subway?'_

Maya rolled her eyes. "It's because you never meet hot guys in tropical locations. That's just something the travel agents try to sell to single women to get them to go to those locations. It's a scam really." She scanned the crowd around them as she tried to come up with a point. "I mean…you could totally meet 'the one' in a subway." She tried desperately to find someone who at least looked like they had bathed in the past week. "There are some…attractive people on here," she subconsciously began to tap her palms against her legs as she grew impatient trying to find someone to help her make her point to Riley. She sighed in relief when she saw someone who appeared to be their age sitting in the corner. "Like, what about him?" She spun Riley around so she could see the person she was referring to.

Riley instantly felt _it_. The same feeling that she felt every time she saw him in her dream. The feeling that she seemed to be chasing for four years had finally found her. There, across the subway car sat a guy who was about their age, Riley assumed. He had dirty blonde hair that was cut short and meticulously styled. His emerald eyes were fixated solely on a book he was reading. Riley was grateful that he seemed absorbed in it. She was well aware of the fact that she was openly staring at him, but she couldn't help it. She felt something suddenly awaken in her. She felt that whatever part of her that seemed to be missing in her life before now was found. She swallowed. She had no idea what to do. She couldn't just walk up to him and say _'Hey, you know we're meant to be together, right?'_ And she definitely couldn't say, _'I've dreamt about you for four years. What took you so long?'_ He would definitely think she was insane.

She froze when he finally looked over at the girls. Riley had no idea how to react. She felt her eyes widen in shock and horror. She knew she had been caught gaping at him. The problem now was that she couldn't stop staring. Her eyes connected with his and she swore that she could've stared at those eyes for the rest of her life and be more than perfectly fine with it.

"You know you're staring at him, right," Maya hissed to her best friend.

The mystery man must have heard her because he then smiled at the girls.

Riley felt her cheeks burn in embarrassment. She tore her eyes away from him and turned her back to him so she wouldn't be tempted to look again.

"What is with you?" Maya's confusion and concern were apparent on her face. "Your face is completely red. And why were you staring at him? I mean," she glanced over Riley's shoulder to look at the guy once more, "he's cute, but I've never seen you act like that around anyone…not even—"

"I don't know," Riley shook her head to try to get the image of the handsome stranger out of her mind. This wasn't like her at all. Normally she had a better sense of control over her emotions. She had felt herself become completely unhinged in a matter of seconds, if even that long, with just one glance at a perfect stranger. She looked over at Maya. There was no way Maya would ever understand any of this. Even if she did, Riley knew her best friend would just make a mess of things. Maya never did it intentionally, but the last thing Riley wanted at that moment was to draw more attention to herself. "Maybe I'm coming down with something." It wasn't a complete lie. She did start to feel nauseous. She wasn't sure if it came from her embarrassment or from the realization that, in a city with millions of people, the chances of her ever seeing that guy again were slim.

"Ok," Maya chuckled. "So, as I was saying…why do we have to go to school for twelve years. Why can't I get all of my education in eleven? We're juniors. I feel like we've been tortured enough."

Riley mentally tried to steady herself. She had to forget all about the guy sitting on the bench behind her. She was never going to see him again. She didn't know him. He probably just smiled at her out of pity because she was openly drooling all over him. Once she felt the heat on her cheeks dissipate, she became engaged in the conversation with her best friend. "The school year just started three weeks ago, Maya. You're already complaining?"

"Riley, I was complaining a week before the first day of class!"

* * *

Riley promised herself that when Maya and she reached their destination that she wouldn't turn around to look back at him. It would do no good to look at him again. Instead, she found herself sprinting off of the subway as soon as the doors opened. She didn't want the temptation. She heard Maya calling her name from behind her. _'Just let me get a safe distance away from that subway,'_ she told herself as she continued to jog up the stairs.

"Riley," Maya practically yelled as she tried to catch up to the brunette. "You know I don't exercise," she panted once she reached her friend. She placed one hand on Riley's shoulder to steady herself before she doubled over, attempting to catch her breath. "What," she took a few breaths, "was…that…about?"

Riley knew she had to say something to try to play off her escapades in the subway. She didn't know what to say. "Oh, you know," she finally came up with while trying to stretch, "I've been thinking about taking up running."

Maya leaned on her friend as they walked toward Roosevelt High School. "If you do take it up, please leave me out it."

"Noted," Riley chuckled nervously. She couldn't believe Maya believed her, but maybe she had caught her friend in a moment of weakness as Maya seemed to be more concentrated on getting her heart rate down and acquiring oxygen and less focused on the completely lame excuse Riley offered up.

"Oh God," Maya moaned as she looked up at the school. "Do we have to?" She turned to face Riley. "We could just ditch."

"We can't do that."

"Yes…yes we can," Maya's eyes lit up. "We can go hunt down that guy on the subway. You seemed awfully interested in him."

"Interested in who," a voice spoke from behind Maya.

Maya's eyes grew before she mouthed 'sorry' to Riley before she spun around. "Charlie Gardener," she greeted in her 1950s announcer voice. Three years after seeing that ridiculous etiquette video and Maya refused to drop that voice whenever she was around Charlie.

"Hey Maya." He managed to force a smile to the blonde. He looked behind her. "Good morning."

Riley returned his smile. "Good morning."

"So, who is interested in who," he asked as the trio turned to walk toward the school.

"Oh…it's just that Maya saw a guy on the subway this morning that she thought was cute, so she wanted to try to go back to find him." Yeah, that sounded completely reasonable. Just turn everything on Maya.

"Uh, y-y-yep," Maya stammered as she tried to follow along with what Riley said, "He was just…so, so, so cute, Charlie. Not at all like you."

"Maya," Riley hissed.

"No, it's ok Riley," he said as they entered the building. "I don't care what she thinks." He stopped and stood in front of the brunette. "I only care about what my girlfriend thinks."


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: The word 'serendipity' is one of my favorite words. I've always loved it, and I love the meaning. I felt it felt well with this story, hence the title. Hopefully that cleared up some of the questions I received about books and other mentions of the word in pop culture. This story has nothing to do with those art works. It's simply because I felt the definition fit this universe.**_

 ** _Thank you guys so much for the positive feedback on the first chapter! I hope you all continue to enjoy it._**

* * *

Chapter Two

The majority of Riley's day was exactly like every other day in her perfect, yet completely boring world. She turned in her homework, sat through her classes, had lunch with the same group she had lunch with for the last two years, and came up with some new cheers with the cheerleaders in her study hall. She had almost made it through another day. The only class left was her history class. Unfortunately for her, her father taught that class. She loved the man, but he taught every history class she had since the 7th grade. He insisted every year it wasn't intentional, but once he switched teaching positions between John Quincy Adams High and Roosevelt High, she knew that he was going to be her teacher until she went to college. Even then she wasn't convinced that he would somehow find his way to whatever school she went to.

Lucky for her, she had that class with several of her friends. Maya sat right next to her, as she had every year. One of Riley's other best friends, Farkle Minkus, sat behind her. Zay Babineaux, a guy who transferred to their class in 8th grade, sat beside Farkle and behind Maya. Riley and her friends instantly adopted Zay into their group. He had a little trouble transitioning into the school as he had moved across the country from Texas and knew no one in New York, let alone at their school. It took a little time for him to adjust to his surroundings, but once he did, they all became the best of friends.

Riley's boyfriend of almost three years sat on the other side of her. Charlie Gardener. Sure, he was a perfectly nice guy even if he was a little odd. Truthfully Riley hadn't quite made up her mind about the brunette. They had been together for so long that it was weird to think of them as ever not being together. At the same time though, she knew something was missing. Something important. She continuously told herself that she was being ridiculous. She was just scared of the relationship since they started dating so young.

She sat at her desk, writing down some notes on what her father was speaking about when she heard the door creak open. Not thinking much of it, she didn't even look up from her notebook as she continued to finish up writing what her father said.

"Who are you," Cory Matthews, Riley's father, asked the stranger who entered the room.

Riley and Maya both looked up at the same time. They both turned to look at one another, shock evident on both of their faces. They turned to look back at the doorway. There, standing in the entryway, was the guy from the subway. The same guy Riley felt pulled to. The same guy Riley made an idiot of herself in front of. _'This can't be happening.'_

"I'm Lucas Friar," he answered as he walked over to Cory and handed him his transfer slip.

Cory studied the slip for a moment before he looked up at the class. "Class, we have a new student. Lucas Friar is from Austin, Texas."

Lucas hated this part. The first day introductions. They were so cheesy and completely unnecessary. He didn't care to know any of these people. It was pointless anyway. Give it a month or two, maybe three if he felt kind, before he'd screw it all up, get kicked out, and get shipped off to another school. Lucas sighed as he looked around the classroom. The first person he noticed was a guy sitting in the second row. Lucas's boredom instantly turned into shock. "Zay?"

Zay, who had slid down a little in his seat as if not to be seen, suddenly sat straight up. "Lucas," he greeted with a grin on his face. "Hey, man. W-What are you doing here?"

"Wait," Maya said as she recovered from the shock of seeing the subway guy in the classroom. She looked back and forth between the two guys. "You two know each other?"

"Isn't it obvious," Lucas couldn't help but blurt out sarcastically. He didn't care how he reacted anyway. He looked at the blonde who spoke. She looked familiar. "Wait," he raised a finger, "Don't I know you?"

Maya snorted and tossed her hair back over her shoulder. "If you did, you'd remember."

"That's Maya," Zay introduced as he laughed nervously. What was Lucas Friar doing here? Hadn't he closed that chapter of his life? Why did his past choose this moment to come back and haunt him? Just when he had felt at peace with cutting those ties.

Maya. That name seemed familiar to Lucas. "Wait," he began as he placed the name, "…the Maya you wouldn't shut up about?"

Maya turned to Zay. "Couldn't shut up about," she teased. "What, pray tell, did you tell this guy about me?"

Zay slid down in his seat. "Thanks Friar."

Cory cleared his throat as he tried to break the discomfort in the room. "Lucas, you can take a seat behind Zay."

Lucas slid his satchel off of his shoulder as he seamless slid in the seat behind his estranged best friend.

Riley, who had remained practically catatonic during the whole exchange, glanced back at Maya. This had to be another dream. And if it was a dream, she could do whatever she wanted to…even talk to someone who seemed to completely shake her whole world with a simple look. She turned in her seat to face Lucas. "So, how do you know Zay?"

Lucas was trying to take in his surroundings when he heard her speak. At first he thought he was imaging it. It sounded like the voice of an angel. He turned toward the source and he felt his heart stop. There she was. That girl from earlier in the day. The one he smiled at on the subway. His first smile since he got off the plane from Texas. He thought for sure he wouldn't see her again. Truthfully, he didn't want to see her again.

When Zay noticed that Lucas wasn't going to answer, he spoke, "Riley, Lucas and I were best friends back when I lived in Texas."

"Then how come you've never mentioned him," Charlie spoke up from beside Riley. He had a bad feeling about this Lucas Friar. He seemed like trouble.

"It's a long story," Zay told them. He looked at Cory. "Ok, Mr. Matthews. It's your class. Teach us."

Cory frowned when he noticed the new kid—Lucas—staring at his daughter who seemed completely oblivious as she resumed her position facing the front of the classroom. He realized in that moment that this was not going to be a normal school year.

* * *

After the bell rang, most of the class immediately filed out of the room. The only ones who lingered were Maya, Riley, Farkle, Charlie, Zay, and Lucas. "So uhh," Zay began, "Why didn't you tell me that you were coming, man?"

Lucas rolled his eyes. It was clear to him that if Zay's friends weren't around, Zay would have completely ignored him. Lucas hated false sincerity. He could tell Zay couldn't wait to leave the classroom and leave him behind—again. "When was the last time we actually talked? Two years ago?"

"Your phone got disconnected. And you didn't have any social media profiles so we could talk." Zay tried to reach out to Lucas through everyone he knew back in Texas. No one seemed to know how to reach him. It was as if Lucas fell off the face of the planet.

Lucas didn't want to hear any excuses. He was around. He knew Zay just didn't care enough to contact him. "No problem. I'll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine."

"Lucas, man, don't be like that," he reached up and placed his hand on Lucas's shoulder. Zay hated this. Lucas was his best friend in the whole world. Looking at the guy in front of him, Zay realized that this Lucas wasn't the same one he used to stay up all night and play video games with while talking about Vanessa, the cheerleader who Zay felt like he was in love with at the time.

"Zay, don't touch me." He slung his bag over his shoulder as he shrugged off his former best friend. "I'll let it slide this once cause we used to be friends, but don't let it happen again." With that he stormed out of the classroom.

"Man…Zay, what a great friend," Maya rolled her eyes sarcastically. What was this guy's problem?

"Are you ok?" Riley was concerned about Zay, but she felt herself worry about Lucas as well. Sure, she didn't know him, but she felt her natural instinct to fix things start to take over.

"Yeah, I just," he threw a hand up and sighed, "It's complicated with Lucas, guys."

"What happened," Farkle asked.

"I don't think I should say," Zay told him honestly, " I mean, Lucas and I have been through some stuff together. I know when I left some things got worse. Judging by his reaction, I don't think things have gotten any better the last two years." He looked at his friends. "Do me a favor. Just avoid him. Deep down, I know he's a good guy, but…that's not the Lucas I know."

* * *

Well, it turned out that Lucas was actually in two of Riley's classes: history and english. Apparently, he had decided to ditch three of his classes his first day of school to just wander around parts of the city. Lucas ended up getting three days in detention as a result. He didn't care though. Truth was, he didn't care about most things. It was easier that way. After Lucas got kicked out of school the first time for protecting Zay, he lost most of his friends. Their parents didn't want their children to hang around someone who appeared to be "troubled". Once Zay moved to New York, Lucas acted out even more. If everyone was going to assume he was bad, he was going to actually become bad. Why not? People just seemed to leave him no matter what he did. His parents got divorced and his mom needed a fresh start, so she decided to move across the country and bring Lucas with her.

He was more than thankful when the bell rang signaling the end of second period English class. He was bored out of his mind at this school. He thought New York was supposed to be dangerous and exciting. So far, it just felt like he was stuck in some 'Saved by the Bell' alternative universe. As he gathered his stuff together, he heard someone clear her throat from behind him.

"Um…Lucas?"

He turned, prepared to put whoever it was in their place, but he couldn't seem to drudge up any type of anger toward the celestial being next to him. He said nothing as his eyes met Riley's.

She gave him a small smile. He didn't seem as bad as Zay made him out to be. And she couldn't help who she was. She was Riley Matthews: eternal optimist. He and Zay were best friends. Riley knew she had to try to fix their friendship, even if both parties weren't willing nor seemed to care to. "H-Hey," she stammered. "I-I-I was wondering if you might would like to sit—sit with us…you know…at lunch?"

' _She is so cute when she's nervous,'_ he thought to himself. After a moment of silence between them, he knew he had to say something. He felt like he was starting to look like some sort of freak. "Who is us," he casually asked as he leaned on his desk. He wanted to play it smooth with this one even though she seemed to unnerve him more and more the longer she looked at him. "You and your hot little blonde friend?"

Riley felt her cheeks turn red. Of course he preferred Maya to her. Most guys did-with the exception of Charlie. Charlie. _'It shouldn't matter who he likes, Riley,'_ she told herself, _'You have a boyfriend.'_ "No," she answered as she found her voice, "Well, not just Maya and me. I meant lunch with us, Charlie, Farkle…and Zay."

Lucas frowned. She was playing him. Just like everyone else in his life. He stormed out of the classroom, as Riley trailed a few steps behind him. "I just thought that it would be nice if—"

Lucas spun toward her and closed the distance between them. "You just thought," his voice boomed. "Listen _princess_ , you don't know me. You don't know anything about me. I don't want or need your pity."

His face was so close to Riley's that she could feel his breath on her face. She saw the fire—the anger—in his eyes, but she also saw pain. She knew at that moment that although Lucas Friar tried to act like a bad boy, deep down, he wasn't. At that moment, she felt even more determined to reconcile his friendship with Zay.

"Hey!" Zay hurried down the stairs to reach the pair. He nudged Lucas away from Riley. "Leave her alone."

Lucas chuckled. "You need to tell _her_ that, Zay. She's the one who came up to me talking about us all having lunch together and skipping through the halls like we were 'The Breakfast Club' or something like that. Isn't that right, princess?"

Zay turned to Riley. "Really, Riley? What did I tell you?"

"Oh, let me guess," Lucas said as he took a step towards her. "Zay probably told you to stay away from me. He probably told you I was dangerous, right?"

"You were just in her face," Maya told him as she walked over next to Riley. "Seemed pretty threatening to me."

"Tell your friend to stay out of my way," Lucas instructed to Maya as he brushed past them.

"Riley, this isn't middle school. You can't just fix things because you want them to. Not everyone can be saved," Zay told her.

"He's right," Maya added. "You can't fix every broken relationship. Some relationships aren't meant to survive."

Riley said nothing. Truthfully, she didn't hear them speak to her. All she was focused on was him. Those eyes. Those fiery eyes that held some sort of pain too. Riley knew that some things couldn't be fixed. It didn't mean that she couldn't at least try to repair them.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Cory thought he had everything planned out perfectly. He wanted to split the class up into pairs so that they could discover how to communicate without using technology since he had noticed that on a daily basis, more than half of his students tried to sneak in texts to one another during class. Initially, he thought his plan was brilliant. He felt that his students would really learn that the best form of communication would be to simply put down your phones and really engage in face-to-face interaction with one another.

He wanted to make sure that the girls didn't end up together and that Riley didn't end up with her boyfriend. He was so close to the picture that he really couldn't see the entire image forming before him as he randomly started pairing everyone off. Before he knew it, he had only two names left to call. Riley and…Lucas? Cory inwardly cringed at his blunder. It wasn't in his nature to judge anyone, but he knew Lucas's past. All of his teachers were well informed of who Lucas was back in Austin, at least according to his file. Cory also saw how Lucas acted in his class. He seemed completely disinterested in anything and everything, save his daughter, and now due to a complete oversight, he was paired up to work on a project with her. _'Some father you are,'_ he mentally scolded himself.

And here he was, watching his daughter run off with Maya and Farkle to meet up with Lucas at the library—without a cell phone. He thought about slipping one into her bag just in case something horrific happened, but he managed to restrain himself. Lucas didn't seem like a horrible kid, save for his colorful past. He just seemed bored with everything around him. Maybe he was just misunderstood? Maybe he just needed someone to talk to? Unfortunately, Cory knew the effect that his daughter had on most people. He knew that if Lucas Friar was going to open up to anyone, it would be her. Most people seemed to drift toward her if they were troubled. Cory just hoped that he wouldn't drift too close. Though he considered himself one of the more progressive teachers at the school, he was still a father first and foremost. He still had severe reservations about the latest addition to his 11th grade history class.

* * *

"Surprised you showed up," Maya said to him as soon as the small group found Lucas sitting at one of the tables.

Lucas looked over at the trio. "Wouldn't miss a chance to hang out with The Three Musketeers," he replied wryly. His eyes ticked over to Riley who stood quietly, her hands clasped in front of her, her eyes fixated on the stained carpet in front of her. Lucas felt a twitch in his chest—something that had started the moment he saw her on that subway. A feeling that, honestly, annoyed him to no end.

Maya snickered at him while Farkle wandered around the deserted library. "Look at all of these books," he mused.

"How are we supposed to find anything in here? It's going to take hours just to find the right section." Maya walked over to the stacks and started to browse the book titles. She picked up one book and wiped the dust off of it so she could read the cover.

"You've never been to a library before," Lucas rolled his eyes. Why should that surprise him? Most of the people at his new school seemed so stuck up and always on their phones. It only made sense that none of them had ever stepped foot inside of a library.

"And you have," Maya retorted as she sat the book back.

"Shhh," a voice across the room hissed at the four. All four turned to look at an older woman who sat in the corner. She had to have been in her mid-sixties. Her hair was pulled back into a perfectly neat bun while her clothes seemed too big for her petite frame. Her glasses were perched near the tip of her nose, so that when she looked up at the teens, she examined them from over the top of her glasses.

"No one is here," Lucas tried to reason. "Why do we have to—"

"Shhh," she hissed again as she brought her index finger to her lips for emphasis.

"We aren't getting anywhere," Riley whispered. She looked at Maya and Farkle. "Why don't you two get started in the stacks?"

"What about you," Maya whispered back. She looked over at Lucas who had resumed reading the rather large book that took up about half of the table it was resting on. "Are you ok to be alone with him?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Maya's eyes widened. "Cause he nearly attacked you in the hall last week," her whisper grew louder with every word she spoke. She knew that Riley saw this as an opportunity to get Lucas to open up, but Maya also remembered that Zay clearly warned Riley to stay out of the situation. Zay knew things about Lucas that no one else at the school did. While he still hadn't shared with the group exactly what the deal was with Lucas, the look in his eyes was all Maya needed to know. When she saw Lucas get in Riley's face, she nearly lost it right then and there. She didn't care who he was or where he came from or who he knew—NO ONE treated Riley like that.

"He didn't attack me," Riley rolled her eyes. "You're about as bad as Charlie. It wasn't a big deal." She said nothing more as she walked over to the empty seat next to Lucas. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she tried to come up with something to say to him. When she sat down, her mind went blank. What was it about this guy that made her act like a complete idiot? She looked directly ahead as she began to fidget with her hands. How should she even begin to talk to him? Their last conversation didn't go well at all and as far as she knew, he hadn't even glanced her way since that little incident.

Slowly, Lucas looked up from his book and turned to Riley. Riley heard him shift in his seat as he turned to face her. She swallowed as her eyes began to drift over in his direction. Then, it happened. Brown eyes met green as their eyes slowly locked onto one another's. No one else was there to judge. No one was angry. It was a simple concept, yet the most complicated thing in the world: to establish a real connection with someone.

* * *

Riley didn't want to move. She didn't even want to blink. She didn't want to break whatever it was that they were doing. It felt like he was opening himself to her just through his gaze. It equally intimidated her and completely hypnotized her. She knew he was much more than what he let on to everyone else. She knew he wasn't the person he had convinced everyone else he was. He was hiding from them all—except in that moment, he wasn't hiding from her. Riley felt something else as well. Something she couldn't describe. Something that she hadn't experienced before. "Lucas," she breathed.

Lucas swallowed when she said his name. The way she said it seemed to thaw his icy heart. She didn't say it out of anger, fear, or loathing. She said it like it was the single most precious word in the world. "Riley," he found himself saying, just as softly, just as tenderly as she had, if not more so.

"Shhh," the librarian in the corner reprimanded.

Riley reflexively turned her head at the sound. She gave an apologetic smile to the librarian before she turned to look back at Lucas. He wasn't looking in her direction anymore, his focus solely on the book in front of him. Riley noticed his body had tense up. She knew that whatever wall she had knocked down had been rebuilt.

* * *

After a few grunts from Lucas, Riley decided to browse the stacks by herself. If she had to work on the project alone, then so be it. She had no idea why Lucas was being so stubborn with her. She was a perfect stranger to him, had never done anything wrong to him. Why was he so cold to her? It baffled her to no end.

She slowed her pace as she looked up at the row of books above her head. "Crap," she whispered. The book she wanted to look at was well outside of her reach. She struggled to reach it—standing on her tiptoes and reaching her arm as far as she could over her head-for a moment before she finally conceded and walked over to where the librarian sat.

Her nose was in a book, so it took her a moment to see Riley standing in front of her. "Sorry," Riley immediately apologized. "I just can't reach a book over there."

"What's the story with you two," the librarian asked as she closed the book she was reading, completely ignoring what the brunette had said.

Riley was taken aback. "What are you talking about?"

"The only reason I shushed you two was because you were staring at each other like a couple of lumps."

Riley cringed. How awkward must that have been to see? It was the most intense moment of Riley's life, but she knew that if anyone else saw them, they surely would've thought they were insane for just staring at one another for what felt like hours. "Saw that, did you?"

"Oh, I saw a lot more than that," the librarian quipped as a smile played on her lips.

Now Riley was completely confused by the older woman in front of her. "What are you talking about?"

The librarian shook her head. "Not important. What is important is that you two are a complete disgrace to every single story on these shelves."

Riley let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding in. "So, what do I say to him?" She wasn't sure why she was asking for advice. She wasn't even sure what was going on with her. How was she supposed to expect someone else to give her sound advice about something that she didn't even understand herself?

The librarian smiled. "Look around. Nothing here but books about boys and girls and men and women and what they say to each other." She leaned in closer to Riley. "All of these books have one thing in common."

Riley glanced at the rows and rows of books around her. "What's that?"

The librarian gestured to the book in front of her. "They start on page one and every page you turn brings you deeper into the story."

Riley thought about it for a second. "But what if he isn't interested in talking to me?"

The librarian chuckled. "Oh…oh, he's interested. You just have to start from the beginning."

Riley nodded. It made sense. In order to connect with someone, you had to just be willing to listen. You didn't have to push. She slowly walked back toward the table where Lucas appeared to be intently reading the book in front of him. "Hi," she said with a slight hesitation in her voice. She was nervous. She wasn't sure why, but she was.

Lucas looked up at her. "Hey." His voice wasn't as warm as it was earlier when he said her name, but it wasn't nearly as cold as it normally was.

"Crap," Riley ran a hand through her hair and turned to the stacks behind her.

"What's wrong?"

"I went to the librarian to ask about getting a book down for me, but I completely forgot about it."

Lucas made a move to stand up.

"No, it's ok," Riley assured him. "I saw the ladder nearby." She didn't wait for a response from him as she walked back over to the stacks. She slid the ladder over to where the book sat on the shelf above her. She made it to the top of the ladder when she decided to look down at the ground. Dizziness started to overcome her, she wasn't sure from what. All she knew was that she felt herself suddenly slip from the ladder.

It all happened so quickly. She didn't have time to scream, time to think about anything other than the fact that she was falling. She heard a slight grunt, but didn't feel the impact of the floor underneath her. Instead, she felt two arms firmly wrapped around her. She looked up at her savior. It was Lucas. Riley swallowed. "Thanks."

"Are you ok," he asked warmly, concern etched across his normally cold features.

She nodded dumbly. She couldn't describe what it felt like to be in his arms at that moment. She could feel her heart race in her throat. She wasn't sure if it was the adrenaline of her near death experience or the fact that she was in the arms of a handsome stranger who, if she were perfectly honest with herself, she had literally dreamt about for the last four years.

Lucas placed her gently on the ground; the coldness crept back into his heart. "Good. That was pretty stupid. I could've easily gotten it," he said gruffly as he reached up and grabbed the book. He shoved it in her arms as he walked back to the table.

Riley stood there for a moment as she tried to collect her thoughts. She felt her mind spin completely off its axis. What was this guy doing to her?

Once she felt herself calm down, she walked back over to the table. "Pretty quick reflexes," she noted.

"Yeah," he said as he just stared at the book in front of him, "comes with working on a farm for most of my life."

"Oh, really?" She slid down in the seat next to him. Finally. He had revealed something about his past. Riley knew it was just an off-handed comment, but this was her opportunity. She had to know more about him. She wasn't sure if it was because she wanted him to mend his friendship with Zay or simply for her own selfish reasons, and at that moment, she really didn't care. She just had to get to know him. "Tell me about it."


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Thank you so much for all of your kind words. It really is motivating and inspiring me.**_

* * *

Chapter Four

She wasn't sure why she felt like she floated the whole way home that night, or how to describe exactly how she felt about the newest student at Roosevelt High School. He was unlike anyone she had ever encountered. He seemed to put on this persona that he was some tough guy, but Riley wasn't buying that at all anymore. He seemed to have flashes—no matter how few and far between—that seemed to completely discredit any 'bad boy' behavior he exhibited otherwise. And after their conversation in the library that night, she knew that he wasn't at all who he claimed to be.

When he began to talk about growing up on a farm, she found herself hanging on every word he said. She knew he came from Texas, but had no idea that the gruff teenager in front of her not only worked on a farm, but seemed to really enjoy it.

At the time, Riley tried to commit every single second of that conversation to memory, because she knew, even though he had somehow, some way, managed to open himself up to her—a relative stranger—he would close that door to his true self sooner than she ever wanted him to. True to form, as soon as Maya and Farkle joined up with the teens, Lucas's soft-spoken voice and soft eyes turned back to stone. He barely said two words the rest of the night.

She had to admit that part of her felt guilty for some bizarre reason. She wasn't sure how she felt about Lucas Friar, but she also knew that Charlie wouldn't appreciate the fact that a lot of her thoughts now seemed to center around the transfer from Texas. She tried to convince herself that it was just her desire to help those around her. By some small miracle, she had actually gotten to the point that she started to believe that until Maya and her walked into class a week later and saw _them_ talking.

She swallowed harshly as she found herself immediately turning around and walking out of the classroom. She barely made it out of the room before she leaned against a row of lockers located right beside the doorway. She cringed as she heard both of them laughing. Laughing. He was laughing—with her. Missy Freakin' Bradford. Suddenly, Riley felt like she couldn't get away fast enough.

"You ok," Maya asked her when she noticed her friend's sudden change in demeanor. Just a moment earlier, Riley was laughing and talking about the auditions for the school play that were being held after class. Maya gestured to the classroom. "Class is in the other direction…unless you're ready to take me up on my offer of ditching?"

Riley barely heard Maya as she felt her legs turn to jelly. She felt herself slowly slide down the lockers to sit on the ground. "I can't," she said after a moment, "It's my dad's class." Why was she acting like this? She had no claim on Lucas Friar and she didn't want any. She had a boyfriend, and even if she didn't, Lucas clearly wasn't interested in her. So, why? Why did it feel like she had been punched in the chest?

Maya pursed her lips as she sat next to her friend. "So, what's the problem?" This wasn't Riley. Riley was always happy, smiling. Maya had never witnessed her friend go from completely happy to completely miserable in less than five seconds. It was a very unsettling feeling for the blonde.

Riley shook her head. She loved Maya like a sister, but there was no way she was going to tell her what she was feeling at that moment. Honestly, Riley wasn't sure of her own emotions. If she couldn't understand why seeing Missy and Lucas together made her feel like she was falling apart, she knew Maya wouldn't. "Sorry. I'm fine."

"You aren't fine, Riley. Wh-" Maya stopped when she heard the high-pitched laughter of Missy Bradford. Maya snickered as she turned toward the sound. She paused when she heard a familiar male voice speak. She turned back to Riley when the realization hit her. "Oh."

"What?" She knew Maya had figured it out why she was avoiding the classroom, but she also knew Maya was going to assume the absolute worst about the situation.

"It's Missy, isn't it?"

Riley shook her head again. She had no idea what to say or what to think. This was all new for her. It was confusing. She was sixteen years old. She thought she knew about relationships, but as she found herself sitting on the cold, hard ground, she realized that she didn't know anything anymore. She had to deny it. It was just easier that way. "I don't know what you're talking about, Maya."

Maya wasn't about to let her out of it that easily. Riley hadn't been herself ever since she met Lucas. Maya had her suspicions as to why, but it was something she knew Riley had to figure out on her own. It didn't mean that Maya couldn't nudge her in the right direction—even though she personally thought Lucas was a jerk. All she wanted was for her friend to be happy. "Missy and Lucas are in there…talking…and you're jealous."

Riley immediately recognized that Maya wasn't asking her anything. She had simply stated the painfully obvious. "No," she said forcefully as she scrambled to stand up. She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself or Maya. "That's not it. I-I don't care what Missy does."

Maya placed one hand on the ground to balance herself as she stood up. She ran a hand through her hair as she tried to figure out a way to get Riley to recognize her feelings. "But…you care about what Lucas does, right? Who he talks to…who he…dates?"

"Maya," Riley cocked her head to the side, her impatience growing. How many times did she have to say that she didn't have feelings for him before her friend would actually believe her? How many times did she have to tell herself that she didn't have feelings for him before she actually believed it? "No. You're way off on this one. I barely know him. I've barely talked to him."

Maya knew she was close to a confession. As nosey as Maya was, she knew that Riley needed to admit it to herself. "And until today, you were the only one that he had actually talked to since he came here."

Riley crossed her arms over her chest as her eyes narrowed. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Maya slid her arm around her best friend's shoulders. "It's ok to be jealous, Riley."

"I'm not," Riley defended as she shrug Maya's arm off of her. She knew that her friend was way off base. She couldn't be jealous. How was it possible? "Why would I be? I have a boyfriend, Maya. Or have you forgotten?"

"Oh, Charlie?" Maya scoffed. "I try to forget about him all the time, actually."

"Forget about who?" Just on time, and as usual, Charlie, Zay, and Farkle walked up to the girls.

Maya rolled her eyes as she let out a long, loud sigh to show her irritation. Three years. Three long years of their conversations being interrupted by Riley's creepy boyfriend. Though she was nowhere close to actually approving of Riley dating Lucas, Maya would eagerly admit he was a step up from her current boyfriend. At least Maya felt like she knew what you would get with Lucas. With Charlie, something just seemed off. It annoyed her that she couldn't figure the guy out—especially after knowing him for the last four years. She thought the feeling would go away the more she got to know him, but in reality, that uneasiness seemed to grow more and more with each passing day.

"Are you guys going to class?" Zay gestured to the doorway.

Maya plastered on a sarcastic smile for the group. If Riley wasn't going to talk to her, maybe she would try a little tough love on the brunette. "Well, we were, but Riley decided to—"

"Yes," Riley interrupted. She loved Maya like a sister, and although nothing would ever changed that, she wanted nothing more in that moment than for Maya to suddenly lose her voice. She knew her best friend was trying to provoke her. She just wished that she didn't do it in front of Charlie. _'Charlie.'_ Riley involuntarily swallowed as she took a step toward her boyfriend. "We were just waiting for you guys."

"Well, let's go then," Farkle said as he and Zay breezed past the girls.

"You ok," Charlie asked Riley as a nervous laugh seemed to punctuate his question.

"Mmhmm," she nodded as she turned to walk back into the classroom.

* * *

She couldn't help it. For some unknown reason, it bothered her more than she wanted to (or ever would) admit. She was only able to withstand Missy giggling nonstop for the first twenty minutes of her father's class before Riley finally scribbled a note to Maya. She had to talk to someone about all of this right now before she exploded in the middle of the classroom for no good reason. Missy wouldn't appreciate him, couldn't he see that? Couldn't he see through her fake laugh?

Riley folded up the note and reached it out for Maya to grab when her father spun around to face the class. He immediately eyed the piece of paper in his daughter's hand. "Riley? Maya? What's that?"

Riley balled up the note and put it in her desk. "N-Nothing."

Cory sighed as he walked over to his Riley's desk. "Riley, you know the rules."

She debated on stuffing the piece of paper in her mouth, but thought better of it. She pulled the paper out from inside of her desk and handed it to her father. She then slid down in her seat, her face red from embarrassment.

"'Do you think they're going out?'" Cory announced to the whole class as he read the note. After half of the class giggled for a moment, Cory folded the note and looked at his daughter. "Who, Riley?"

"Oh…Just…" Maya gazed around the room. "Sarah and…Zay. Riley and I saw them talking before class, so we were just curious, sir." Maya couldn't help but smirk at her teacher. She was always able to think pretty well on her feet. She knew perfectly well who Riley was referring to in her note, but Maya also knew that Riley's boyfriend wouldn't appreciate his girlfriend's curiosity in the new student's love life. Although Maya wanted nothing more than for Riley to dump the creep, Maya also knew that Riley didn't need a temper tantrum from her borderline stalker boyfriend.

Riley didn't dare look up at anyone, her face still red from being called out in class. She was never more grateful for her devious friend than in that moment. She silently wondered if Lucas thought she was referring to him and Missy. She wanted to sneak a glance at him, but she refrained. She knew her boyfriend was looking curiously in her direction. She had no idea what was going on with her. Lucas was the opposite of everything she thought she wanted for herself. He wasn't the guy she had dreamt about—or was he? In those few precious moments at the library, he seemed different. He talked to her a little bit about working on a farm. He even told her that he helped to deliver a baby horse once.

Those moments were gone too quickly though and he had all but completely ignored that she even existed. They got an 'A' on their presentation, but he hadn't said a word to her since then. She was sure that he hadn't given her a second thought.

If she only knew how wrong she was. Lucas had heard the whole exchange. He wasn't sure who Sarah was, but one quick glance around the room and he had spotted the blushing brunette. She was cute—different than the type of girls that Zay liked when Lucas knew him, but that was years ago. Lucas didn't know Zay at all anymore, so he could totally have a different taste in girls now.

Lucas glanced back at Riley. She was slid so far down in her seat that Lucas was shocked that she wasn't sitting on the floor. He could tell that her face was red from embarrassment. He tried to hide his smile. She looked so adorable when she was—no. Lucas mentally smacked himself. He told himself after that night in the library that she was way out of his league. Riley Matthews was the type of girl that guys like him could only dream about being with. Lucas knew he wasn't worthy of her. In only a few short weeks of knowing her, and only one real conversation, she had made him believe that he was more than what he was. One call from his father changed all that. His father brought him back to reality. He wasn't more than what he was. No, with Lucas, what you see is what you get. And Riley deserved better than anything he could ever offer her. Besides, she was dating what's his name anyway.

He looked next to him. Missy Bradford on the other hand…he could definitely see himself with her. She was just like the girls he dated in Texas. They all just wanted to be with a bad boy, usually out of some sort of rebellion from their parents. Lucas was all too willing to accommodate them. And Missy was pretty, he had to admit. She just wouldn't stop talking. She was quite annoying actually. He thought she'd stop once Mr. Matthews started teaching, but no…if anything, her whispers were more annoying than her normal voice.

He looked back over at Riley. He didn't know much about her. In fact, somehow she had managed to get him to open up some to her. All she did was listen. She didn't prattle on and on about things that weren't important. She was more interested in finding out about him. He realized afterward that it was probably just some scheme to get him to mend his relationship with Zay, but at the time, it just felt like she wanted to find out who he was for her own benefit.

He sighed. He wasn't sure why he was even thinking about her. She was completely out of his league. He was certain that she wasn't even interested in him in that way. She had a boyfriend—even though Lucas wondered why Riley would be with someone who wasn't even worthy of breathing the same air as her let alone have the privilege of being called her boyfriend. She wouldn't leave her perfect life for him. Why would she? She definitely didn't think of him in that way.

"Can we get back to class now," Maya complained. "I mean…I came here to learn."

Cory raised an eyebrow at her before she burst into laughter. "That's what I thought," he chuckled as he turned back to the board.

* * *

Riley darted out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang. Maya, who had turned to put her books in her bag, spun around to the vacant seat, which previously held her best friend. "What the…" She looked back as she saw Charlie sprint out of the door. She glanced over at Farkle. "What was that about?"

"I…I don't know," he answered honestly.

"Let's find out," she said absently as she grabbed her things. She and Riley always left class together. Was she just embarrassed by the note? Maya dismissed the thought. They had managed to play it off just fine. No one knew otherwise. "You coming Zay?"

As Zay stood up to grab his belongings, he saw Lucas and Missy talking. _'So, he can talk to her?'_ Zay shook his head. "Yeah," he told Maya. "Let's go."

The trio didn't have to walk far to find Charlie and Riley, who seemed to be engaged in a heated conversation. Maya's protective instincts quickly kicked in. "What's going on?" She didn't care if she was interrupting anything. She wasn't sure what the pair was talking about, but she did notice the flash of anger in Charlie's eyes.

"Nothing," Riley told her as her eyes were locked onto Charlie's.

"O-ok," Maya drawled out as she looked between the two. "Are you ready to go to the auditions?"

"Yeah," she said as she tore her eyes away from her boyfriend. "I-I just went to grab my monologue."

"Are you auditioning, Farkle," Zay asked him as he tried to make small talk. He knew very well that Farkle was going to audition. He auditioned for every play that the school produced. He wasn't very good, but they all supported his efforts nonetheless.

"Absolutely," Farkle told him. "Who knows? Maybe Riley and I will both get the lead."

"Ew," Riley shook her head.

"Ew? Why ew? Come on Riley, you don't want to be the Juliet to my Romeo?"

"That would be a no," Riley chuckled.

Maya watched Charlie for a moment to try to get a read on him. He definitely wasn't happy. His jaw was clenched and she saw a vein bulging slightly on his neck. Clearly the couple had been arguing. Maya mentally kicked herself. She always pushed Charlie, even though Riley repeatedly asked her not to. She couldn't help it though. He was so weird. She knew that she had gone too far this time with her sly remarks. She couldn't help but feel guilty. "Let's go, Riles."

"Call me later," Charlie told her.

Riley nodded. "Ok."

His frown cracked into a big grin. "Break a leg," he said as he leaned in and kissed the top of her head.

"Thanks," she replied slowly.

As the group went their separate ways, Maya was determined to find out what had happened between her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend. "What was all of that about?"

Riley shook her head. Maya wouldn't understand this either. She hated this. She hated that she couldn't talk to her best friend about everything she was feeling. Riley knew it was for the best though. She had to figure this out on her own. "Nothing. He just wanted to talk before I went to auditions."

"You aren't telling me something. What is it?"

"It's fine, Maya. Just…drop it, ok?"


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Thank you for all of the feedback. Sorry if I disappointed anyone with omitting their conversation in the library. I just imagined it being similar to what happened on the show.**_

* * *

Chapter Five

She had decided to just avoid him. She hated to admit it to herself, but Zay was right. Lucas was nothing but trouble. Even though she had never given up on anyone before, she decided that it would be the best for everyone if she just dropped the whole thing. She knew that everyone would be happier about it—even Lucas. He didn't even seem to notice her. He was completely involved with Missy now, which was just fine by Riley. If Lucas Friar wanted to spend all of his time with her, then have at it. She had more important things on her mind.

Like the play. She had read "Romeo and Juliet" about a hundred times, but now she had to memorize all of those lines. Everyone seemed so proud of her for getting the lead in the school play, while she was just grateful for the distraction. Perhaps getting lost in the works of Shakespeare would help her clear her mind and get her life back on track.

She knew that she hadn't been herself ever since she met the Texan and she hated it. She just wanted her life to go back to the way it was. She didn't want to think about him. She didn't want to care about him. Ignoring him and throwing herself into this play was exactly the distraction she needed.

Riley was happy that Mrs. Thompson agreed to have Maya be the stage manager. Maya was grateful for the free pass from English class the week before the play, but didn't realize that her weekday afternoons for the next month would be consumed by play preparation. She almost quit on the spot, but remembered that Mrs. Thompson also gave her complete creative control over the set design and the idea of that kept Maya completely engaged in the whole process of the production.

So, here they were, week three of play preparation and Maya and Riley were by themselves as they painted the sets. "Remind me again why it's just the two of us?" Riley asked as she dipped her paintbrush into the bucket before she placed it on the wall in front of her. She didn't mind helping out with the sets, it actually felt therapeutic in a way. It gave her a chance to recite her lines in her mind while also becoming completely immersed in every aspect of the play.

Maya wiped some perspiration off of her forehead with the back of her hand before she spoke. "Well, it's supposed to be everyone's day off, but if these things are supposed to be painted by next Wednesday, we have got to get some work done on them now. And no one else wanted to help." She examined the wall in front of her. Just a few more spots and another wall would be complete.

"Ah." She dipped the paintbrush into the bucket once more. She glanced at her best friend, a wry smile on her face. "I bet Juliet never had to paint her own room," she teased.

"Well," Maya began as she reached for a smaller brush, "Juliet's dad was loaded…and kind of a jerk, so you know…it's a give and take."

Riley considered it for a moment. "True."

Maya leaned in so she could work on the details of what would become Juliet's balcony wall. "And Juliet didn't survive the play, so you have that going for you too."

"Aw, thanks Maya. You know exactly what to say to cheer a girl up." Riley took a few steps back to look at her wall. It was supposed to be a part of the set of Capulet's party in the first act. "Hm. I'm definitely not an artist. Maybe I should just paint this whole thing black and have it be part of the background when I die?"

Maya laughed. "We already have three walls and a curtain ready for that." She peered over at her best friend's work. "Umm…" she looked up at Riley as she tried to stifle her laugher.

"I told you I'm not good at this," Riley threw her hands up in defeat. Art was Maya's thing, not Riley's.

"No! Um…let me finish this and I'll come help. We'll save it. Just…fill in the side with the sand color."

The girls continued to paint in silence for a few more minutes until they heard the auditorium doors open. They both turned at the sound, but said nothing as they saw Mrs. Thompson emerge from the shadows of the aisles.

"Hey girls," she greeted as she climbed the stairs to the stage. She looked at all of the unpainted sets. "How's it going?"

"Slow," Riley told her. "It's just Maya and me today since today is everyone's off day. It might as well just be Maya though cause Verona is not looking too picturesque these days." She looked sadly at her wall.

Mrs. Thompson glanced at Riley's wall. She immediately threw a worried glance in Maya's direction. Maya noticed it and mouthed that it would be ok to her. Relieved, Mrs. Thompson smiled. "Would you girls like some more help?"

"Sure," Maya's eyes lit up. She had been worried for the last week that the sets wouldn't be finished on time. It took the carpenter a week longer than anticipated to build the sets, so that severely shortened Maya's time to get them ready. She was willing to accept any and all help, which was obvious when she resorted to begging Riley to help her paint.

"Great!" She turned around. "Well, he was here a minute ago. Lucas!"

"Yeah, yeah…" he said as he walked down the aisle before he reached the stairs to the stage. He climbed them two at a time as he walked closer to the girls.

Maya snorted. She couldn't believe this. "He wants to help us?"

"Not exactly," Lucas told her. "It was this for the next week or detention for two weeks."

"Detention," Riley asked, her curiosity piqued. "W-What did you do?"

"That doesn't matter," Mrs. Thompson said quickly. "Maya, Lucas will be here every day to help with whatever you need for him to do. If you find that he isn't working like he's supposed to, please let me know." She turned to Lucas. "Be nice." She looked back at the girls. "They're good girls."

They all waited for Mrs. Thompson to leave before Maya squinted her eyes at him. "What did you do?"

A smile played on his lips. "You really want to know?"

Riley debated it for only a short moment. "No," she said as she turned away from him to resume her painting.

Maya took a step closer to him. "I wanna know."

He casually shrugged. "I got into a fight."

Maya raised her eyebrows at him. She was expecting something much worse than that. Wasn't fighting the norm for him? "That's it?"

"I got a week for that."

Riley knew was going to regret asking, but her nosiness finally got the best of her. She turned to face him. "So, what was the other week for?"

Lucas' smile faded when he accidentally locked eyes with Riley. He had been so careful to avoid her for the last three weeks. He had done a great job of it up until now. She hadn't attempted to talk to him. She hadn't even looked once in his general direction. It made him happy and upset at the same time. Every time he thought about talking to her, he talked himself out of it by doing something to prove why he wasn't right for her. He knew if he told her the reason for his additional week of detention, she would probably never look at him the way she was now. He wasn't sure if he was ready to put the nail in that coffin or not. As much as he wanted to push her away, every night he found himself dreaming about the girl who now stood in front of him. That night at the library completely haunted him. Was he ready to let go of that dream? "It's nothing," he told her. He cleared his throat as he finally tore his eyes away from the girl who danced in and out of his visions on a nightly basis. "So, what do I need to do so you don't get me thrown back into detention," he asked Maya.

Maya's smirked as she instantly thought about all of the grunt work she could make him do. "Oh, you're going to actually work?"

"The way I see it," he began as he looked around the stage, "One week around here is a lot better than two weeks in detention."

"Ok, what's your deal," Riley asked him.

"What do you mean?" He continued to walk around the stage, his eyes everywhere but on Riley.

"You go out of your way to get detention, but you jump at the chance to get out of detention. I don't understand. If you don't want detention, don't fight." It seemed simple enough of a concept for Riley to comprehend. She was confused as to why it seemed so difficult for him.

Lucas considered it for a moment. "What if I said that I didn't start it?"

"I wouldn't believe you," Maya quickly told him.

Lucas let out a chuckle. "And what about you, Riley?" His eyes fell to her, but he was careful not to look in her eyes. "Do you think I started it?"

Riley paused for a long moment. The guy she spoke with in the library wasn't the same guy who stood before her now. She didn't know this guy. She didn't even want to know the answer to this question. As strongly as she believed that he was just acting like a bad guy in front of everyone for some ridiculous reason, she also believed that this was who he wanted to be. And if that was the case, then there was nothing she could do to 'save' him. At that moment, Riley realized that she just didn't want him to cause more trouble in her own life. "Honestly Lucas," she began as she turned to face the makeshift wall in front of her, "I really don't care."

* * *

Two days passed and Riley and Lucas had said nothing more to one another. Luckily all the stagehands were back to help Maya so Riley could work with Mrs. Thompson and the rest of the cast in blocking the production.

"Where's Dave," Mrs. Thompson called out as the principal cast gathered in front of the stage after a fifteen minute break.

"I heard someone throwing up in the bathroom," Lucas told her as he walked across the stage with a bucket of paint.

Mrs. Thompson's eyes lit up. "Oh no," she panicked. She started to sprint toward the bathroom behind the stage, when she stopped and turned to the cast. "Farkle? Do you have the lines memorized in case our Romeo can't go on?" She didn't wait for an answer as she hurried off the stage. Farkle was a solid understudy, but Mrs. Thompson was hoping not to have to use him. He was a nice kid and enthusiastic about the theatre, but he wasn't the best actor.

"Absolutely," he grinned as he turned to Riley. "See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!" He gently held her hand in his as a side-splitting grin was plastered on his face.

"Farkle, you're not supposed to be smiling like that," Riley told him as she pulled her hand away from him. She had known Farkle for most of her life. The thought of him playing Romeo made her feel nauseous. He was like a brother to her. How was she supposed to pretend to be in love with him?

"Oh, really," he challenged, "How am I supposed to do it?"

"Not by grinning like an idiot," Lucas spoke up from his position across the stage. "I can tell how many filings you've had from all the way over here."

"If you know it so well, why don't you take a shot at it?" Farkle gestured to Riley. "Unless you know that you wouldn't be good at it."

Lucas swallowed. He couldn't believe what he was about to do. He sat the bucket of paint down as he tried to recall what the lines were. He had heard them practicing the scene all afternoon. Once he remembered them, he began to walk toward the group of teenagers on the opposite side of the stage. "See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand," he said softly as his eyes locked on Riley's. "O that I were a glove upon that hand," he said even softer as he now stood in front of her. He reached up to gently caress her cheek with the back of his hand, "that I might touch that cheek," he said even softer—so soft that he was certain only Riley had heard him. His hand remained on her cheek as they continued to gaze at one another.

Farkle looked back and forth between the two. He had to admit that the chemistry between them was palpable and Lucas was pretty incredible with the way he delivered the lines.

The small group heard clapping from behind him. Lucas instantly dropped his hand and spun around to see all of the stagehands applauding him. He noticed Mrs. Thompson emerge from the wings. "I only caught the end of that," she said as she walked towards the cast, "But I heard enough to know that we found our new Romeo," she squealed.

"But…but," Farkle sputtered. Lucas was good, he wasn't going to deny that, but he was certainly no Farkle.

"Come on now, Farkle. You can admit that Lucas is very good."

Farkle looked from Mrs. Thompson to Lucas for a moment before he looked back at Mrs. Thompson. "Yeah, alright," he conceded. It was ok. He wasn't exactly thrilled at the prospect of kissing Riley anyway, though he pretended otherwise. No, his feelings rested elsewhere, as they had for the last few years-if she only knew.

"Good, it's settled then."

"What's settled," Lucas asked her. "I signed up for painting some walls, not prancing around on stage in tights in front of the entire school."

"Oh, I thought you didn't care what anyone thought about you," Maya spoke up as she walked up behind Mrs. Thompson.

"I don't."

"Then which is it?"

"I just don't want to be in the stupid play."

"Let's talk about this for a moment," Mrs. Thompson said as she and Lucas walked away from the other students so they could talk privately. After a brief moment of negotiating, they both walked back to the stage. "We have our Romeo," she proudly announced.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: I'll probably just put in an author's note in every chapter just to thank you guys for your reviews/follows/favs. I read every single one of your reviews. Also, you guys are very perceptive.**_

* * *

Chapter Six

"One, two, three…one, two three," Mrs. Thompson directed as some of the cast members danced around on the stage. "Good," she said as she nodded her head to the beat of the instrumental music playing, "Good…now Romeo…walk over to Juliet."

Lucas wiped his suddenly perspiring hands on his pants as he walked over to where Riley stood off in the corner of the stage. He paused for a moment as he tried to remember his lines. "If I profane with my…unworthiest hand, this holy shrine…the gentle fine is this." He gently took her right hand in his and brought it to his lips. "My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand, to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."

Riley watched as Lucas took her hand and brought it to his lips. When they brushed her knuckles slightly, Riley shivered. She knew she had the next line, but suddenly, everything she had memorized had escaped her. What was going on? "I'm sorry," she said as she turned to Mrs. Thompson. "Can we start again?"

Mrs. Thompson looked at her watch. "Well, that's all the time we have for today. Riley, Lucas…we need to get these wrinkles worked out. Dress rehearsal is in five days."

"I know," Riley told her, her frustration mounting. "I'll do better tomorrow, I promise." She walked toward the opposite end of the stage to where Maya was. "I can't do this." She turned around to lean her back on Juliet's tomb.

"Do what," Maya asked absentmindedly as she was immersed in checking the lighting cues.

Riley gestured all around them. "The play."

Maya looked up from her list as she let Riley's words sink it. "Why?" Wasn't this what Riley had been dying to do ever since the play was announced?

"Maya," she closed her eyes as she tried to gather her thoughts. How was she expected to explain something she didn't even know herself? "I don't know, ok? I just…can't focus on anything. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm getting sick."

Maya sat the clipboard down and turned to give her best friend her full attention. "Riley…you know what it is." She reached out and grabbed Riley's forearms, as she looked her best friend in the eyes. "It's ok."

Riley shook her head, knowing exactly what Maya was trying to get at. "You're wrong." Maya was completely wrong. Riley didn't have any feelings for her new Romeo. Sure, when she first saw him she thought that maybe he was the guy she had dreamt about for the last four years, but she realized now that she had been wrong about the whole thing. And it was just a stupid dream. Dreams weren't real.

"Hey, Riley?"

She turned to face the object of their conversation. "Yeah?"

He shifted nervously on his feet. He wasn't quite sure why he was suddenly anxious. He thought he had gotten rid of that when Riley dismissed him weeks earlier. Maybe he was coming down with something. "Did you want to practice some more this afternoon? I'm not exactly looking forward to getting home."

"What about your girlfriend," Zay asked as he and Charlie walked up the stage.

Lucas let out a soft chuckle. Of course they were here. Of course his ex-best friend would assume that he was using extra practice as an excuse to get closer to Riley. Lucas threw his hands up in mock innocence. "Hey, I'm just making sure we don't screw it up and embarrass ourselves."

"We," Charlie asked as he looked over at Riley. He inched closer to his girlfriend. "What's he talking about?"

"Dave got sick," she began slowly, "And…and Mrs. Thompson thought Lucas would be good in the role."

Charlie eyed the Texan for a long moment. He wasn't sure what angle the guy was getting at, but he knew that Lucas was after his girlfriend. "Oh, I'm sure it was all her idea."

"It was," Maya defended. She didn't like the way Riley's boyfriend was acting. He seemed to be trying to throw his ego around. _'Not on my stage,'_ she thought to herself before she turned to Riley. "Look. I have the auditorium reserved until 8 every night. I can definitely stay and paint if you wanted to try to work on some of your lines."

Riley thought about it for a long moment. She knew she needed to adjust herself to her new Romeo, but she also knew that Charlie didn't exactly comfortable with the situation. She loved acting and wanted to help make the play a success after all of the hard work that everyone had put into it. She just hoped that Charlie would be able to see things in the same way. "Yeah…I mean," she looked over at her boyfriend, "We really do need to work on it. I mean the rest of us have been working on it for a few weeks and he's just getting into it."

"Wait," Lucas looked from Riley to Charlie. "Are you asking him for permission?" That didn't seem right. Why would Riley feel the need to ask her boyfriend if she could go do something?

"No, she isn't." Maya looped her arm through Riley's in complete support of her best friend. "She's just telling him why she won't be around until after the play."

"Oh, so it's gone from one night to _the next week and a half_ ," Charlie's voice boomed, creating an echo across the whole auditorium. His eyes never left Riley's as he felt his anger swelling. He didn't like Friar. He didn't like his attitude, the way he acted like he was better than him, but most of all, Charlie didn't like the way Lucas looked at his girlfriend. Riley had been his for three years. He wasn't about to allow the new guy to get in between them. Not now. Not ever.

"You knew I was doing the play," she tried to reason. It wasn't her fault that Mrs. Thompson wanted Lucas to portray Romeo. It wasn't her fault that Dave got sick. All of this sort of just happened. Why couldn't her normally levelheaded boyfriend understand that? She knew Charlie had developed a pretty short fuse ever since Lucas showed up, but surely he didn't think she planned for any of this to happen?

"Back off, Charlie," Maya warned when she saw the fire in his eyes. Charlie Gardener never intimidated Maya, but Maya knew that Riley would quit the play in order to make him happy. That was just who Riley was. She would do anything for anyone she cared about-even sacrifice her own happiness. It was her greatest strength and potentially, her biggest downfall.

"Maya, you aren't involved in this," Charlie nearly growled as he cut his eyes to her briefly before looking back at Riley. How was he the bad guy in all of this? All he wanted was to protect her from _him_. Why couldn't anyone else see that?

"Charlie, calm down," Farkle chimed in once he noticed that Charlie was clenching his fists. He wasn't sure why his normally composed friend was freaking out, but Farkle knew that he was overreacting to the situation. It was just a play.

"Yeah, what's your problem," Lucas asked. He didn't like the way Charlie was acting toward any of them, but especially the way he was looking at Riley. Lucas knew he had blown up at Riley before, but judging by Riley's body language, Lucas suddenly got the feeling that this wasn't the first time Charlie had demonstrated this kind of anger toward her.

"You are," Charlie spun to face him. "You are my problem." Charlie's life was nearly perfect before Lucas showed up. How dare he presume to know anything about him or Riley? He didn't want the guy around his girlfriend at all, let alone have them both play the title characters in one of Shakespeare's most tragic plays. Charlie had read 'Romeo and Juliet'. He knew what the play demanded of them. He couldn't stomach the thought of his girlfriend being that close to _him_.

Lucas tried his best not to laugh at the guy. Charlie wasn't threatening to him at all. He was fairly certain he could beat him up with one arm tied behind his back. One glance at Riley told him that it would be better if he didn't react with his normal anger. She seemed a little scared. He took a deep breath as he tried to control his own anger. "Why?" A smirk formed on his lips as he thought of another way to get under Charlie's skin. "Are you…worried?"

Charlie crossed his arms. "Worried?"

"Yeah," Lucas knew he was beginning to hit a nerve with Charlie. He knew this was going to be better than any fight he could ever have with the guy. He paused for dramatic effect as he began to walk behind Riley and Maya. "You know…late nights rehearsing one of the most romantic plays ever written with your girlfriend." He stopped walking when he reached the other side of the girls.

A vein in Charlie's neck twitched. He knew Lucas was just trying to get under his skin. Charlie opened his mouth to speak but paused when he realized that the best thing he could do would be to just ignore the guy. "No. I'm not worried about that. Riley and I are fine."

"So, what's the big deal then?"

Charlie clenched his jaw as he felt that vein twitch again. He knew that Lucas knew exactly what the big deal was. Charlie had watched him carefully over the last few weeks. He knew that Lucas stared at Riley every single chance he got.

"You're overreacting," Farkle once again tried to reason. "It's one play. It's only for the next ten days, Charlie."

"Seriously," Maya added. "It's not like Riley had a say in any of this. She's just doing something that she loves to do. Shouldn't you want to support her in this?" They shouldn't even be having this discussion. If Charlie was any kind of real boyfriend, you know, the supportive kind, wouldn't he just want them all to make the play the best they could?

"It's fine, Charlie." Riley placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. "Nothing's going to happen."

Charlie looked back at his girlfriend. Her eyes twinkled as she gave him an encouraging smile. Slowly, he felt his anger begin to dissipate. "Ok," he conceded as he turned to fully face her. "I'm sorry. It just…" he looked back at Lucas, "takes some getting used to, I guess."

"No one is more shocked about all of this than I am," Riley assured. "I'll be fine, ok? Maya is here and I'm sure some of the others are going to stay late some nights too."

He nodded, a smile forming at the corners of his mouth. "Ok. Call me when you get home?"

"Sure."

She watched as he left the auditorium, but not before throwing one more glaring look at Lucas. Once the doors closed behind him, Riley felt herself able to breathe once again. She ran a hand through her hair as she tried to process everything that just happened.

"Please remind me why you are with him again," Maya begged as she saw the auditorium doors close. "He's such an ass."

"Maya," Riley warned. She really wasn't in the mood to hear about how much Maya disapproved of Charlie. Riley had heard several reasons over the years, a lot of which bordered on the ridiculous. Charlie and Maya never quite saw eye to eye on much of anything, save for how much they cared about Riley.

"She's right," Farkle found himself adding. "I don't like the way he's been talking to you lately, Riley." Farkle loved both of those girls, always had and always will, but over the years, his feelings for the brunette changed into more of a sibling bond than anything else. And as someone who felt like a brother to her, he was more than a little irritated with how Charlie was treating her. She didn't deserve any of it.

"It's fine, Farkle," Riley insisted as she dismissed the whole conversation. "He's just been stressed about some family issues he's been having."

"He's always been a creep." Maya was tired of trying to be nice about the whole thing. Three years was long enough. She thought Riley would have figured him out a long time ago, but for some reason, she seemed to wear rose-colored lenses when it came to Charlie.

"Subject isn't up for discussion," Riley insisted. She glanced at Lucas. "Where do you want to start?"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

She kept it strictly about the play for the first two days of rehearsals. She was careful to work around the kissing parts of the play and was grateful that Lucas seemed to be avoiding them as well. Yet still, she couldn't help those lingering feelings from slowly coming back to the surface. She wasn't quite sure what was going on with her. Was she just getting wrapped up in the play? She didn't feel like this when she rehearsed it with Dave. Maya kept a watchful eye on all of their one-on-one rehearsals to which Riley was grateful. For some reason, Riley didn't trust herself to be alone with him.

"You ready," Lucas asked as he entered the stage from the wings. He looked down at the script in his hands as he tried to remember the lines for the scene they were about to rehearse. When he didn't hear an answer from Riley, he looked up. She was perched on top of Juliet's tomb. She was slightly hunched over as she appeared to be looking down at her hands. Lucas frowned. She seemed a million miles away. He took a look around the stage. Maya was nowhere to be found. He debated on giving her some privacy, but he had a weird feeling that being alone wasn't what she wanted. He took a deep breath as he walked over to her and casually sat beside her. "You ok?"

It took Riley a moment to realize that Lucas had sat down next to her. She lifted her head to look at him. "Yeah," she lied. "Sorry. I was just thinking, I guess."

"Anything you want to talk about?" The words left his mouth before he really could stop himself. Lucas couldn't believe he actually asked that. Who was he right now? He honestly didn't even know anymore. He was so sure that he was just this outcast, someone to be feared, but for some reason the girl who sat next to him, after only one real conversation, made him start to think that perhaps there was more to him.

She shook her head. She had no idea where her head was at anymore. She didn't know who she was, or who the guy was next to her. If she confided in him, she knew that there was a very real chance he would laugh at her or, even worse, run off and tell the whole school about it. She wouldn't be able to stomach either scenario.

Lucas took in his surroundings once more as he thought about what else to say to her. He eventually decided to try to make small talk with her. Maybe it would make both of them feel a little more comfortable with each another. "Where's your bodyguard at?"

Riley glanced around the empty auditorium. "I don't know." She waited a beat before she added, "And she's not my bodyguard."

"Riley, we both know she's only here to make sure I don't do anything to you." It stung a little bit when it dawned on him as to why Maya was staying late the last few days, but he honestly couldn't blame either of them. He hadn't exactly given either girl a reason to trust him.

"No, she isn't."

"Riley…come on. She's been painting the same finished wall for the last two days and every time I look at her, she's staring at me." He gestured to the wall that Maya had been glued to ever since Riley and he began to work on their lines by themselves. When he saw a smile form on her lips, he chuckled. "It's actually kind of creepy."

Riley couldn't help but laugh. She had to agree with him. Every time she looked at Maya, she was looking straight back at them. "She's just…worried."

"That I'd do something to you?" When she didn't respond, he sighed. "Are you…worried?" He held his breath as he waited for her answer. He barely knew her, but he knew that her opinion of him meant more than anyone else at the school, maybe more than anyone else period.

Riley shook her head. "I know you wouldn't hurt me." It was a ridiculous notion to her. Sure, he snapped at her once, but even then, Riley wasn't scared of him. Even though she didn't know who he really was, she knew that he wasn't like that.

"How? You don't even know me, Riley."

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "Zay has told me to stay away from you. Then we had that assignment and I just…I felt like the guy who talked to me in the library was the real you." She paused as she remembered their conversation. Every word was imprinted in her brain. He spoke with such sincerity, such enthusiasm, such passion for animals and the farm he grew up on. She then remembered how quickly he reverted back to the guy that everyone seemed to be afraid of. "Then you go back to ignoring me and get detention for God knows what reason…and now we're here, still not talking about anything. I just...I don't know." Her eyes wandered over to him. "I don't know what to think about you anymore, but…I know I'm not scared of you."

Lucas let out a breath he wasn't aware that he was holding. It disturbed him how much her opinion meant to him. "Maybe you should be."

She shook her head, her mind made up about this one topic. "I'm not. And nothing you say will change my mind on it. I know who I talked to in the library that night. You aren't the guy you're pretending to be. I don't know why you're pretending, but that's not the point. You can fool everyone in this school, but me."

Lucas rested his forearms behind him as he casually leaned back on Juliet's tomb. "And why's that?"

"I…I don't know." She turned her head to look straight ahead. "Why can we just…be friends?"

Lucas tried not to laugh at her. Friends? He wasn't sure of the last time he was actually friends with a girl. He looked up at the rafters as he thought about all of the people who wouldn't be too pleased about their friendship. "Your father would love that."

Riley looked back down at her hands. True, her father didn't appear to be the biggest supporter of Lucas, but that didn't mean that he would forbid her from being friends with him. She never knew her father to be like that. "My dad doesn't dictate who my friends are."

Lucas's eyes ticked over to the back of Riley's head. "I'm sure your boyfriend would love it too."

Riley let out a soft chuckle. "Well, maybe we won't tell him just yet." He blew up at the news that Lucas was going to be Romeo. She knew he would have a similar, if not worse, reaction if he knew that Lucas and she had decided to become friends. It would be a battle for sure.

"Oh, so I'd be your dirty little secret?"

She turned her head back to him. When she saw that he had a smile on his face, and a playful twinkle in his eyes, she realized he was just kidding. "If that's what makes you happy," she smirked.

Lucas couldn't help but let out a genuine laugh at her comment. He sat back up, his tone serious. "I mean…you'd be mine too." He cracked a smile. "I have a reputation to protect, you know?"

"Some reputation," she snorted.

He gestured to the empty space around them. "It's all I got."

"No," she began slowly, her tone growing more serious, "it's not."

Lucas thought for a moment as he looked at her. He could tell that she had all of this unearned faith in him. She was hands down the most optimistic person he had ever met. "If we're going to try to be friends, I need you to do one thing for me."

"What's that?"

He paused before he spoke. Riley seemed to have this completely optimistic viewpoint on life. She thought all people had a tendency to be good if they just made the right decisions. Lucas felt himself changing, but he also knew who he was and where he came from. "Don't assume I'm better than I am. I'll only let you down and a part of me isn't sure I could stand that." Once his words sunk in, he realized that he had never felt so vulnerable with someone in his whole life. It was the most honest thing he had ever said to anyone, and every word was completely true. This girl beside him, a girl he barely knew, a girl he had tried to push away, was slowly seeping into his whole being. It scared him more than anything else in the world.

The whole auditorium was completely silent as their eyes slowly drifted toward one another. Riley knew that every word he said was 100% true. She could also tell that he felt completely exposed in his soft plea for her to not put him on a pedestal. That flash of the real Lucas that she saw in library came crashing back to her. This was the guy she saw on the subway. This was the guy she knew he was. She was completely enthralled by him.

Lucas couldn't help but to feel fully drawn in by the girl next to him. Every time they made eye contact, he felt completely hypnotized by her. He knew that they both felt vulnerable at the moment. The more practical side of him screamed for him to look away, to not become involved with her, to get out of that auditorium and away from the city—away from her. He knew that for some reason, he could never pretend with her. She would always see through him. That scared him. He should leave. He should distance himself from her. She was dangerous. He knew at that moment that she had the potential to completely destroy him. For some reason, he ignored all of those reasons to leave. In fact, he felt himself inching closer and closer to her.

Riley's breath hitched when she realized that she was leaning in closer to him as well. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew what was about to happen. The bad part was that she felt herself wanting it. He was everything she should stay away from, and yet, she was completely captivated by him. She closed her eyes as she felt his hand gently cup her cheek as they inched even closer and closer to one another.

Lucas slowly closed his eyes. He knew he should stop. This couldn't happen, not now, not ever. He didn't deserve her. She deserved so much more than he could ever offer, but he couldn't stop. It was like they were magnets. The more he told himself to stop, the closer he found himself to her.

"Hey Riles, you here," Maya's voice floated to them.

Lucas and Riley's eyes immediately flew open as they quickly slid away from each other. Riley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she tried to quickly compose herself. What was she doing? They had just decided to be friends and she almost kissed him? "I'll…be right back," she hastily said as she practically sprinted to where the sound of Maya's voice came from.

Lucas sat there stunned for the first time since he moved to the city. Did that almost happen? Lucas would be lying if he didn't say he didn't want it to happen, because he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did. Riley was hands down the most gorgeous creature he had ever laid eyes on. He had only ever dreamed about being with someone who saw right through him and wasn't afraid to call him out on his crap. However, he also knew that something like that could never happen again. He felt something when he was around Riley—something that he hadn't quite felt before. It sort of reminded him of his childhood, when he felt free—like he could be himself and it would be ok, that he would be happy and that he could do anything or be anyone. It was an addicting feeling, one that he wasn't sure he wanted, but also one he knew he couldn't let go of again. If she wanted to be friends, he would be friends with her—nothing more. No, he didn't deserve anything more from her.

* * *

Riley practically collided into Maya in the wings. She was shaking and her vision was blurred from the unshed tears that had formed in her eyes. She wasn't sure of anything anymore: who she was, what she wanted, what was best for herself and all of those around her.

"Woah," Maya said as she tried to recover from the hit. She grabbed Riley's trembling shoulders to steady her. "Riles, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I can't do this." She sniffed as she wiped the tears from her face.

"Can't do what?" Maya peered over Riley's shoulder and saw Lucas leaning back on Juliet's tomb, his head tilted back as he looked up at the rafters. She looked back at Riley. "Did he do something to you?"

Riley tried to block out all of the voices screaming in her head as she tried to listen to her best friend. "What?"

"Lucas. Did he do something to you?"

"No! No…that's not it at all," she said as she shook her head. "I..uh…I…"

"Shh," Maya soothed as she hugged her friend. She could tell that Riley was trembling. "Talk to me, ok? What's going on?" She reached for Riley's hand as they walked behind the stage towards the girls' dressing room. She made Riley sit at the makeup counter while she pulled a stool up so she could sit in front of her.

"I don't know," Riley said honestly. "My life was fine before…I…I was leading a normal, good, steady life…and then…and then…I saw him and I just…I haven't…I don't know, Maya." She rubbed her forehead as all of her pent up emotions seemed to flow from her body. She had done a perfect job of ignoring her attraction to him. How did it all fall apart so quickly? "What do I do? Please tell me what to do."

"You like Lucas." It was more of a statement than a question. Maya knew Riley better than Maya knew herself sometimes. She knew Riley had felt an instant attraction to the guy. She also caught a glimpse of their conversation at the library. It had been years since Maya had seen Riley smile quite like that. She knew that Riley's attraction to him was more than just that. She also knew that she couldn't exactly tell Riley all of that. This was something Riley needed to figure out for herself. Maya knew that all she could do was to simply be there for her friend as she tried to work through these conflicting emotions.

"Yes. No," she shrugged, "I don't know." She sniffed as she ran a hand through her hair, her frustration with her jumbled emotions growing. "I feel different when I'm around him…when it's just us…when he doesn't act like a jerk, but that's only been two times. Every other time I've known him, he's been this insufferable jerk who I can't stand."

"Have you told him this?"

"No," Riley scrambled to get out of the chair. The concept of talking to Lucas about whether or not she had a crush on him seemed humiliating. He wouldn't be able to help her work her emotions out, and he probably didn't even feel the same way, which would make her even more embarrassed about the whole thing. "I wouldn't…ever…Maya, I have a boyfriend."

"Yeah." Maya couldn't help but to roll her eyes at the mere mention of Riley's boyfriend. The guy didn't deserve to breathe the same air as her best friend, let alone actually date her. "If you like Lucas, then you need to tell both of them."

Riley seemed appalled by the mere suggestion that she talk to both of them about her feelings. There was no way she was going to do that. It was completely ridiculous. She began to pace in front of her friend as she tried to work through everything right then and there. "I'm with Charlie. I don't know how I feel about Lucas."

"Sounds to me like you do."

Riley stopped pacing and spun around to face her best friend. "You see? This is why I didn't want to talk to you about any of this. You're only saying this because you don't like Charlie."

Maya knew that she had made her dislike for Riley's boyfriend known on more than one occasion, but she also held back a lot more than she wanted to whenever the subject of him came up. She was tired of tiptoeing around the subject. She didn't want her best friend to be with anyone who treated her less than perfect. "I don't like the way he treats you sometimes, which means I don't like him all the time. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think Lucas is an ass, but at least you seem to really care about him."

"I don't know how I feel about him." Riley reiterated as she slowly sat back down. "And now…I have to play Juliet to his Romeo…in front of the school, in front of my family, in front of Charlie…and we have to kiss…and I just…I-I-I'm…"

"Scared?"

Riley cut her eyes to her best friend. "Yeah," she said softly.

Maya nodded. At least Riley was able to admit that much. "Do you want to quit the play?"

Riley shook her head. "I've been waiting to do this play ever since we were in middle school. I don't want to quit. I don't want to let Mrs. Thompson or you or anyone else down." She took a deep breath as she felt the logical side of her begin to take over. "Maybe I'm just making a big deal out of nothing. I mean…he's with Missy and I'm with Charlie."

"Are you sure?"

Riley nodded as she began to feel some sort of clarity sink in. "Yeah…it was just…I don't know. I've just been a daze today. I think it's just because of the play and everything."

Maya leaned forward to give her best friend a hug. "I got you, Riles."

"Thanks." When Maya pulled back, Riley turned to look at herself in the mirror. She wiped her eyes. "Ok. I'm going to go rehearse with him." She turned back to her friend. "You don't have to stay."

Maya looked around the dressing room for something she could use as an excuse to stay. She had actually gotten caught up on everything thanks to Farkle and Zay's help over the last few days. Not finding anything she could use as an excuse to stay, she simply said, "I have so much to do though."

Riley gave her a knowing look. "Maya…Lucas and I both know you've been painting the same wall for the last two days. Go home. Get some rest."

"Are you sure?" Maya was a little hesitant about leaving. She didn't think Lucas would do anything to Riley, but she felt that she needed to stick around anyway.

Riley nodded. "I'm fine." _'It was just a vulnerable moment for us. It meant nothing,'_ she told herself.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Three updates in, I think, three days? Try not to get too used to it...haha. I've been able to work on this a lot lately, so that's the reason for the quick updates. They probably won't continue at this rate though.**_

 _ **Also, there is something I feel like I need to mention. This might give away a plot point that a lot you amazing reviewers have already guessed at, but it's something that I feel I should address to everyone before the story does. This is a very dramatic story. I've roughly written out a huge portion of it already, and it's more intense than I had originally intended. Having said that, the warning is this: there is abuse in this story. Physical and mental. I'm trying to write it in a way that is real without being too graphic or disturbing (because that's not my style of writing). If this is too much for you, then I apologize for wasting your time reading the first seven chapters of this. This story does have a T rating and while I had it there mostly for potential language, it's also a T for violence. It's not going to be in every chapter, and it really is only in a handful of scenes, but I felt that it was something I needed to warn you guys about.**_

* * *

Chapter Eight

The entire auditorium was completely quiet as Riley made her way back to the stage. Lucas was sitting exactly where she left him except that he was now hunched forward, script in hand, as he seemed to be studying his lines. She watched as he closed his eyes and began to softly quote some of the dialogue. She thought it pretty endearing to see. Maybe he did care about the play? When he stopped to look at the script once more, she continued to walk toward him. When she reached him, she gave him a small smile. "You ready to start?"

"Yeah." He looked behind her. "Where's Maya?"

Riley looked down at her hands. "Maya…went home."

Lucas stood up, shock evident across his normally composed features. "Wow. Really?"

"Yep," Riley said as she popped the 'p'. She looked around the stage as she tried to avoid making eye contact with him. She realized that as much as she didn't want to talk about what almost just happened between them, he seemed to be avoiding the topic as well. "I told her we would be just fine without supervision."

Lucas cracked a smile. "I'm sure she loved hearing that."

Riley decided that it might be for the best to change the topic. She wasn't about to explain the whole conversation she had with her best friend in the girls' dressing room. If he wasn't phased whatsoever about their almost kiss, she could act the same way. She decided that it really wasn't that big of a deal. "So, where do you want to start?"

"Well," he looked up at the structure beside them. "Since the balcony is actually built now, do you want to start there?"

Riley nodded. "Sure." She looked up at the makeshift balcony as worry started to fill her mind. "If that thing breaks, will you catch me? Because…Farkle and Zay actually built that and I'm not convinced they really knew what they were doing." She loved her two best guy friends, but she had never seen them build a paper airplane that could actually fly before let alone actually build a structure that someone was going to have to stand on.

Lucas looked at the balcony for a long time before he finally spoke. "You'll be fine. Zay's grandfather was a carpenter. Taught Zay everything he knew." 'Even taught me a thing or two,' he thought. Zay's grandfather was the most incredible, inspiring person that Lucas had ever met. He came from nothing, yet learned everything he could about carpentry and became one of the most popular furniture builders in the whole state of Texas. It was a pretty incredible story. Whenever Lucas would have flashes where he actually believed he could make something of himself one day, he thought about Zay's grandfather and how he really made something great out of his life. Maybe if Lucas was lucky, one day he would be able to be that fortunate as well.

Riley furrowed her eyebrows. "Really? Zay never told us that." There was so much that Riley didn't know about the guy that she had known for the last three years. She looked over at Lucas. There was also so much more she didn't know about the guy who stood about five feet from her.

Lucas shrugged in response.

Riley tilted her head to the side as her constant need to fix things started to take over. "We're friends, right?"

Lucas's eyes ticked over to her. "Yeah," he said slowly. He had no idea what she about to ask him. He hoped that she wasn't about to bring up the kiss that almost happened. He didn't need to be reminded of how he wasn't worthy of her, or how she had a boyfriend that she had been with forever. He knew all of that already. He also knew that she regretted that moment, he could see that much in her eyes. He just didn't want to hear her say the words.

"What happened with you and Zay?" She knew she should drop the topic, but she hated seeing Zay completely uncomfortable now and she wanted Lucas to be able to reconnect with his former best friend. It was ridiculous. What could've been so bad that the two wouldn't even acknowledge one another?

"Riley," Lucas sighed, "It's something that I don't want to talk about." Besides their almost kiss, Zay was the one topic that Lucas just couldn't even begin to talk about. The history between them was a rocky one. Once Zay moved, Lucas didn't really expect to ever hear from or see him again. Once Zay stopped calling, Lucas assumed that was the end of the friendship. Once he saw his former best friend again, all of those unresolved feelings of anger and hurt rose to the surface. Lucas still hadn't figured out the best way to channel those emotions. It all happened so long ago, but he couldn't just let it all go.

"Why can't you two be friends again," Riley pressed on. "I just don't understand. If Maya and I—"

"You're right," Lucas interrupted, his irritation with Zay now being projected onto the brunette in front of him, "You don't understand. I don't want to talk about it." When Riley looked down at her feet, Lucas sighed. He hated it when he snapped at her. He knew his anger was just a defense mechanism. This girl had already knocked down his defensive walls twice. Why was he still trying to shut her out? That was an easy question with an even easier answer. He knew this girl had the power to completely destroy him. Thank God she seemed completely oblivious to that fact. "I'm…I'm sorry I snapped at you. Can we just," he gestured to the script in his hand, "Do this now?"

Riley nodded. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed you into talking about something that I knew you didn't want to talk about." She spun around and ascended the stairs on the backside of the balcony. Once she reached the top, she looked around. "Wow," she breathed as she looked out across the darkened auditorium. "This is…high."

Lucas chuckled as he craned his neck up to look at her. "You had it easy. You had stairs. I have to actually climb up this thing."

Riley looked down at her lines, though she already had all of them perfectly memorized. She cleared her throat before she placed her script on the ground behind her. She ran a hand through her hair.

Lucas glanced at his lines once more before he tossed his script on the ground as he walked to the corner of the stage. "Ok," he spoke as he spun around to face the balcony, "I enter and stop right here, right?"

"Yes," Riley said as she peered over the balcony.

He nodded as he tried to commit the placement to memory. "Then I say, 'He jests at scars that never felt a wound.'"

"And then I walk out," Riley stated as she wandered over to her spot toward the middle of the balcony.

Lucas furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to remember the next part. After a moment, he remembered. "And I look up, and see you and…talk forever," he said dejectedly as he looked down at the script that sat on the ground about 20 feet away from him.

Riley giggled at him. "Still don't have it memorized?"

He looked back up at her. "Is it that obvious," he asked wryly.

She gave him a sympathetic smile. There were some pretty long monologues in the play. Those were always the worst to memorize, and she had about a month longer than he did to prepare for it. "Well, let's skip that part right now. You still have a few more days to get it down. How about I start then?"

He nodded.

"Ok." She looked out at darkened theatre as she tried to get into character. "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet." Riley had seen every movie version of the play to try to figure out how she wanted to portray Juliet. For this particular scene, she preferred the dreamy delivery of the 60s version as opposed to the more sensible, matter-of-fact delivery of Baz Luhrmann's adaptation.

Lucas gazed up at Riley, a small smile played on his lips. She looked exactly like how he had always pictured Juliet. She radiated with innocence and looked angelic under the house lights. He cleared his throat when he realized she was waiting for his next line. "Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?" He watched her, bemused as she continued with her monologue. He had studied 'Romeo and Juliet' back in Texas, but he never really understood it. The concept of two people who were willing to die for love seemed ridiculous to him, let alone the fact that these two people had those intense kinds of emotions for one another at such a young age. Until he moved to New York, he wasn't sure if he'd ever feel that type of a connection with anyone. As he stood underneath Juliet's balcony, as he listened to Riley, he realized that there was a very real chance that he could feel that way about someone. He found himself beginning to understand the play in a way that never made sense to him before.

He wasn't sure how he felt about Riley. There was an attraction, a pull that had obviously been there since the day they met, but love? It was way too soon for that. And even if it was or could be some day, he wasn't about to drag her into his crazy world. He barely knew her, but he knew enough to know that she was better than any part of his world. He knew he was broken, a product of his father's abuse and (thankfully) parents' divorce. Somehow, some way, this girl eased the pain of his past with one look, with one smile.

When she looked back down at him, his mind went completely blank. He mentally kicked himself. He knew that had to keep this about the play for both of their sakes. She had everything going for her. He didn't need to be the one to screw it all up.

He stepped out from underneath her balcony. "Uhh…," he began as he tried to remember his lines, "I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; Henceforth I never will be Romeo."

* * *

Riley and Lucas ended up getting a lot of work done in those few short hours. They didn't practice the kiss. It was something both of them still felt uncomfortable about, especially after their almost kiss earlier in the afternoon. They both agreed that they would wait until the dress rehearsal for all of that. Their newfound friendship was already stretched thin. Neither wanted to tempt fate by practicing stage kisses when they both almost connected like that in a very real way.

Still, Riley found herself smiling about the day's events on the way home. She wasn't quite sure if it was because she and Lucas had finally reached an understanding or if it was because he had decided to walk her home. There wasn't even a question about it, he just told her that she shouldn't be walking home alone at night and that he would escort her home. Riley had to admit to herself that she could get used to his Southern charm.

They were silent the whole way, both lost in their own thoughts about the play, school, life, and one another. They both knew that they had a connection with one another, something that whether they liked it or not, just pulled one another in, but at the same time, both of them knew that it could never lead to anything romantic.

When she stopped in front of her apartment building, Lucas took two additional steps before turning around. When he realized that they had reached her home, he glanced at the building in front of her. "Wow," he commented. Her building wasn't a typical New York apartment building with hundreds of apartments sky high. It seemed to be a cozy brownstone with only a few other tenants in a relatively normal neighborhood—well, normal for New York anyway.

Riley gestured to the front door. "Do you…want to come up? Get something to eat? We did kind of skip dinner."

He gave her a small smile. There was nothing more he wanted to do than to spend more time with her, but he knew it was a terrible idea. Not to mention the fact that he did have a prior engagement. "No, it's ok. I need to go. I'm meeting up with…"

Riley nodded. He didn't need to say who it was. She was already very well aware of who he had been spending a lot of time with recently. "Missy?"

Lucas looked down. He wasn't sure why, but he suddenly felt guilty about it. He knew that he shouldn't because he wasn't doing anything wrong. If anything, he was doing every thing right by dating someone else. He had decided that he wasn't going to pursue Riley, even though every part of him begged him to. He was just going to try to be her friend—at least long enough to get through the play. If he felt like he could handle that, to actually be around her and not feel a constant pang in his heart, then maybe their friendship could extend past the next week.

Riley rocked forward and backward on the balls of her feet for a minute as she tried to think of something to say to him. When she came up blank, she turned to walk toward the door to the apartment building. "Well…have a good night. And thanks again for walking me home."

"No problem, city girl," he smirked.

Riley walked into her apartment building and up the stairs to her parent's apartment, her thoughts still on the guy who had just escorted her home. She couldn't believe the day's events. Her head was spinning more than before. She couldn't figure Lucas Friar out, but maybe she wasn't supposed to. Maybe she was just supposed to be in his life. She felt her heart sink when he mentioned his date with Missy. She knew that they had been dating for a few weeks, but to actually hear it from him made it suddenly seem real. She wasn't sure how she felt about him, but she did know that she didn't like him with Missy. He was so much better than that.

After exchanging a few words with her parents about play practice and school, Riley decided to go to bed early try to get some rest. She knew that she was in for another long day tomorrow, and frankly, she was completely drained emotionally. It was worth the energy spent though. Lucas and her seemed to have finally reached a silent understanding. They were friends now and friends only. Even though it was something that neither would be quick to advertise, she knew that she had completely knocked down the first protective wall that he had built up around himself.

As soon as she closed her bedroom door, she immediately sensed that something wasn't quite right. She reached for her lamp as she turned the switch on.

"Late night," a familiar voice said from behind her as the room became illuminated.

Riley spun around to see her boyfriend sitting on the edge of her bed. She was completely confused as to why he was there, in her room, in the dark, without her parents knowing. An uneasy feeling started to spread throughout her body. "C-Charlie? What are you doing—"

Charlie leaned forward as he rested his elbows on his knees. "I saw you two today…" he said before he stood up and walked toward his girlfriend.

Riley frowned as her initial uneasiness began to turn into some other emotion that she couldn't quite describe. "What?"

"At rehearsal…" he said casually as he walked around Riley like a tiger stalking its prey. "Well," he continued, "it wasn't really rehearsing, now was it?"

She was confused, but also a little nervous, a feeling she hadn't quite experienced before with him. "What are you talking—"

"You and Lucas," he stopped pacing once he stood in front of her. His eyes bore into her, his tone harsh. "Your little heart-to-heart."

"You were there?" She had completely missed the accusatory tone in his voice as she tried to wrap her mind around the fact that her boyfriend was in the auditorium with them—watching as they practiced.

He nodded. "I saw everything."

Suddenly, it dawned on Riley just what Charlie was getting at. He was there in the auditorium. He saw everything they practiced. He also saw what almost happened that wasn't exactly in the script. "Charlie it wasn't anything."

Charlie's eerily calm reserve suddenly morphed into something much worse. His eyes narrowed as he took a step closer to his suddenly frightened girlfriend. "Oh no? Cause it looked like you were about to kiss him."

Riley was scared. For the first time in her life, she was completely scared of her boyfriend. She had never seen anyone look at her the way he looked at her at that moment. Tears began to form in her eyes. "No, that's not it at all," she tried to explain. When he reached forward and grabbed her arms, Riley whimpered, the pain of his grip instantly hitting her. It felt like he was trying to crush her bones. Just a little more pressure and Riley was certain that her bones would snap. "Charlie," she said through gritted teeth, "you're hurting me."

"Good," he sneered before he let her go, pushing her back as he did so. He watched her stumble back a few steps before he turned away from her. "Cause you're hurting me." He turned back around to see her quivering. "What are you doing? Do you like him or something?"

"It was nothing," she insisted as she crossed her arms over her chest to try to stop her quaking body. Her adrenaline began to kick in as her mind began to race. She wasn't sure what exactly had just happened or what was about to happen to her. Charlie had his temper flare ups before, but nothing quite like this.

Charlie felt his anger leave just as suddenly as it had appeared. His anger had turned to grief as he sat back down on her bed. "I…I don't want to lose you, Riley." His voice shook as he spoke, unshed tears formed in his eyes as he looked down at the floor.

She swallowed. "You won't."

"Good," he said as he looked up at the girl who had been the center of his universe ever since they were in middle school. "Because…I can't."

"You won't," she reiterated.

Almost in an instant, those unshed tears disappeared and his sad demeanor was replaced with a smile. "Well," he began as he stood up and closed the distance between them, "I'll let you get some rest. See you at school tomorrow?"

She absentmindedly nodded as she forced herself to not think about everything that had just transpired.

He embraced her as he kissed the top of her head. He walked over to her bay window. Before he climbed through the window, he turned to her one last time. "I love you."

She gave him a tight smile. "Love you too."

Once he left her room, Riley slowly walked over to the bay window. She watched as he descended the fire escape stairs and landed on the sidewalk. She waited until he was no longer in sight before she locked her window, an act that she had never done before. She turned around and surveyed her room. Her room. Her sacred, beautiful room that had held so many happy memories for her and her friends. It now seemed different somehow. She lightly touched her right arm and immediately winced in pain. She tried to examine her arms. It only took a moment for her to notice that bruises were already beginning to form.


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the kind words and support for the direction of this story. I take every review to heart and knowing that you guys support what I'm doing inspires me so much more. So thank you all again for every follow, fav, and review.**_

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Chapter Nine

The next morning Riley was still fast asleep when she heard a tapping on her window. She rolled over, as she thought it was just another dream, until the taps became louder. She opened one eye, then the other. As soon as she did, the previous evening's events came rushing back to her. 'That was real,' she questioned miserably. She looked at her nightstand where she noticed the prescription bottle. After being unable to sleep for the first few hours, she decided to take a painkiller that she still had from where she had her wisdom teeth removed six months prior. Thankfully, it worked and she finally passed out around 2am.

She quickly put the bottle in the drawer of her nightstand before she threw the covers off of her and took a quick glance at her arms. Both had hand shaped bruises that marred her otherwise olive complexion. She quickly grabbed a jacket by her desk and threw it on before she walked over to unlock her bay window.

"Why was it locked," were the first words out of Maya's mouth as she came into her best friend's room. She looked at the window she just came through before she looked back at Riley. "I don't think it's ever been locked."

Riley crossed her arms over her chest as she tried to come up with some reason for the sudden change in routine. "Yeah, I just…saw someone…that kind of creeped me out last night," she said flippantly. She turned around and went back to lie down. "Sorry," she mumbled

Maya furrowed her eyebrows as she watched Riley crawl back into bed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm not going today," she yawned.

"W-What?!" Maya sat on the edge of the bed. This wasn't like Riley at all. She always went to school; especially while play preparations were underway. She had been in every school play since they knew one another and never missed a single practice. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Riley mumbled as she looked down at her hands. She hated lying to Maya about anything, especially something like this. She didn't want to jump to any conclusions before she spoke to Charlie about what happened. She knew if she brought it up with her best friend, that Maya would only make a big deal out of it.

"What did he do to you?" At that moment, Maya regretted ever leaving her best friend alone with him. She thought that maybe since Lucas appeared to have a soft spot for the brunette that they would be fine alone, but clearly something happened last night.

Riley didn't meet Maya's stare. "Who?"

"Who? Lucas who. Who else would I be talking about?"

"No," Riley defended immediately. The thought of Lucas ever doing anything to her seemed completely ridiculous. He had a tough exterior, but he would never do anything to make Riley-she sighed. "He would never…" she shook her head, "Lucas would never hurt me."

Maya was even more confused. So if Lucas wasn't the problem, then what else could it possibly be? "So, what happened?"

"Nothing," Riley answered as she sunk back further into her pillows, "I'm just…I'm…sick."

Maya rolled her eyes at Riley's lame excuse. "You are not."

"Yes, I am," she faked coughed a few times.

Maya eyed her for a long moment. This wasn't like her best friend at all. Riley was never like this. She clearly wasn't sick. That much was obvious. What was she hiding? "Please, talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about. Maybe…maybe I just need a few hours to sleep. I'll try to be there by third period, ok?"

"Want me to stay with you?" The mere thought of ditching her morning classes excited Maya. She could use a little extra sleep herself. She felt like she had been running on fumes the last few weeks with all of the play preparations.

Riley shook her head.

Slightly dejected at the thought of going to school alone, Maya reluctantly stood up and walked back over to the window. She turned to face Riley. "I'll see you at lunch, then, ok?"

Riley forced a smile for the benefit of her best friend. "Yeah." She watched as Maya climbed back through the window. After waiting a few minutes, Riley sat up and took off the jacket. She looked at her arms once more. Her right arm was definitely more bruised than her left. It hurt even to touch the red and purple area. She snuggled back underneath her blankets as she closed her eyes. How was she going to face seeing him after last night? She still wasn't sure what to make of any of it. Charlie definitely reacted irrationally, but she also knew that she had pushed him to it. Seeing your girlfriend almost kiss someone else would surely send anyone over the edge, wouldn't it?

* * *

Riley's excuse to her mother was that the stress of school and the play was just getting to her. Though suspicious, Topanga agreed to write her a note for her first two periods. Riley had never missed a day of school. Topanga figured that she was owed a few hours of extra rest.

After Riley checked in with the office, she was exactly five minutes late to English. When she walked in, all eyes were instantly on her. Suddenly feeling self conscious, she tugged the sleeves of her jacket down. She mumbled a "sorry" to the teacher as she moved to sit in her seat.

As Mrs. Thompson resumed her discussion on sonnets, Riley's eyes ticked over to Lucas, who seemed to be paying attention in class as he was writing something down. Riley looked at the board as she opened her notebook. She barely put pen to paper when someone knocked lightly on the door. She looked up at the doorway and noticed one of the office assistants carrying a bouquet of daises. "Sorry Mrs. Thompson," the assistant apologized, "but these just came for Riley."

Riley frowned. She had never received flowers, let alone at school. Once the assistant handed the bouquet and quietly left the room, Riley reached for the card that was perched in between two of the daisies. 'I'm so sorry about last night. Please forgive me. I love you. Charlie' Riley subconsciously placed her left hand over her bruised right arm. She winced as she barely touched the spot. She slid the card back into the envelope and stuck it in her notebook. She looked at the gorgeous arrangement of daisies before she slowly slid them off to the side, determined to focus what Mrs. Thompson was teaching and not to be reminded of what happened the previous night.

As soon as the office assistant left, Lucas looked away from Riley. He didn't have to read the card to know who the flowers were from. He looked back down at the note he had started to write to Riley. He quickly balled it up and threw it in his bag. Riley Matthews had a perfect boyfriend and a perfect life. She didn't need him to screw it all up.

* * *

Riley was grateful that the only class she had with her boyfriend was the same class her father taught. She put her flowers in her locker after English class and didn't even mention them to her friends. She had no idea what to tell any of them what the occasion was and she knew Maya would just make a dig at Charlie, which was the last thing Riley wanted to hear. Her thoughts had centered around him and what had happened all day. He truly scared her last night, but at the same time, could she really place all of the blame on him? He saw her almost kiss someone else. Maybe he really was just worried that things between her and Lucas were more than what they actually were. It didn't excuse his behavior, but maybe he really was sorry about the whole incident. Riley wished that she could talk to someone about it, but she knew that no one would understand. They would just assume the worst about Charlie. Riley knew that Charlie wasn't a bad guy. Three years of being with him and he had never laid a hand on her before. And it wasn't like he actually hit her. He just grabbed her—hard.

She still hadn't quite worked out the events of the last day in her head when she entered history class. She saw Maya, Zay, Farkle, and Charlie all seated, all eyes on her. "Hey," she told them, careful to avoid eye contact with her boyfriend.

"I waited outside of your class for you," Maya began as she examined Riley. There was something wrong with her. Maya was convinced of it. She only spoke when spoken to and she seemed completely preoccupied with something that she wasn't willing to mention. "Where were you?"

"The bathroom. I guess I just missed you." Riley slid into her seat without looking at her boyfriend. She turned toward Maya to grab her books out of her bag.

"Why are you wearing long sleeves," Zay asked her. "It's like 70 degrees."

She shrugged. "I get cold." She sat her books on top of her desk just as Lucas strolled into the classroom, Missy Bradford clinging to his arm. It was the last thing Riley wanted to see at that moment. She decided to completely ignore both of them although judging by how Missy was talking a mile a minute, she was sure that Lucas hadn't noticed her at all. Riley also knew that Charlie was watching her, waiting to see how she would react to seeing Lucas with his girlfriend.

"How late are you staying tonight," Maya asked her as she opened up her notebook.

"I'm not going to," Riley replied absentmindedly as she looked up at her father who was currently writing something on the board.

Maya frowned as she wrote the date in her notebook. She turned to Riley. "But you just said yesterday how Lucas and you—"

"It's fine. We'll just get the rest of if hammered out in dress rehearsal. And it's not Broadway, Maya. It's just a high school play."

* * *

Riley was late to play practice that afternoon. Charlie had asked to speak with her after class, and after a minute of pleading, Riley acquiesced. He apologized several more times throughout their brief conversation. He told her that the stress of basketball tryouts and his schoolwork had somehow made him paranoid about their relationship. He realized that Riley really hadn't done anything wrong and that actually…somehow…Lucas was the one to blame for it all. He had done such a good job of convincing himself of that, that Riley couldn't help but begin to believe it as well. Riley had to admit that she would've been just as upset had she seen some random girl lean in to kiss her boyfriend. Maybe Charlie was right. Maybe Lucas was the problem. None of this happened before he came into their lives. They had a good, solid relationship before he showed up in their lives.

With those thoughts ringing through her mind, she finally made it to play practice. When Lucas greeted her with a warm smile, she completely ignored him and walked immediately to the girls' dressing room. As she sat her stuff down in her makeup chair, she looked at reflection in the mirror. She was determined to not let whatever she felt toward Lucas affect her anymore. He was just messing with her anyway. He was clearly dating Missy and she was with Charlie. She took a deep breath before she turned to walk back toward the stage.

"Mrs. Thompson wants us to work on the death scene," Lucas told her as soon as she emerged from the wings.

"Ok," she said emotionless as she made a direct beeline for Juliet's tomb. She didn't want to talk to him or exchange pleasantries. She just wanted to get through this stupid play and get back to her life—the one she had before he came into it.

Lucas followed her, confusion plastered on his face. "Hey," he spoke softly when he reached her. "Are you ok?"

She nodded as she sat down. "Yep." She knew she was being short with him. She hoped he would take the hint and just focus on the play.

He frowned. She seemed to be annoyed with him. He was pretty sure he hadn't done anything to make her upset. In fact, he had gone out of his way to actually have a conversation with Farkle when he showed up to practice five minutes early. He never thought he would have anything in common with the guy, but quickly discovered that both of them had a shared fondness for video games. They even exchanged handles so they could play 'Zombies Eat Your Brains 5' online later that evening. He was clearly trying to make an effort to actually get to know other people—thanks to her-, but she just seemed to be irritated with him. "Ok," he said slowly, "do you want to take it from right after I kill Paris? Simon's going to be late, so I figured we could skip the fight scene for now."

"That's fine." She laid down and closed her eyes. This wasn't her. She wasn't this person. She was Riley Matthews. She was a happy person. She always talked to anyone who wanted to listen, and tried to be friends with everyone she came in contact with. But here she was—ignoring the one person she had felt the strongest connection with.

Lucas looked up from his script. This was starting to annoy him. For the first time in years, he hadn't done anything remotely wrong to anyone all day. Why was she giving him the cold shoulder? "What's wrong? I know you say you're ok, but it's obvious you're not."

She kept her eyes closed as she tried to bite back the rush of tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. She had prepared herself for Maya's questions. Her best friend knew her better than she knew herself most days, but she wasn't expecting this concern from Lucas. Even though they had agreed to be friends, and he had walked her home the night before, she half expected him to go back to being cold to her. He was different. She hadn't expected that. She reacted the only way she knew how: like he did with her when they first met. "How do you know? You don't even know me."

He frowned. It was true that he didn't know her as well as…well…everyone else, but they had a few-what he considered to be-heartfelt conversations. They were becoming friends, or so he thought. "I know you well enough to know that something is wrong."

She opened her eyes. Instead of looking at him, she looked up at the lighting that hung above them. "This is me, Lucas. The real me." She let out a dramatic sigh. "Can we just get this over with? I can't be here all day."

"We aren't working after rehearsal?"

"No," she said as she continued to stare at the lights above them. She knew she couldn't look at him. She could lie to everyone else, even Maya, but the thought of looking at him and lying to him made her feel nauseous. She knew he was just messing with her, but it didn't make her developing feelings for him any less real. "I-I have a lot of stuff to do, so we just need to get it all done while rehearsals are going on."

"What did I do to you?"

The hurt in his voice nearly broke her cold composure. He seemed truly upset about the fact that something was bothering her and she wasn't opening up to him. Maybe he wasn't just trying to mess with her? Maybe he really felt the same connection with her as she had to him. Charlie's words came rushing back to her. No. None of this happened before Lucas Friar showed up. "Nothing," she replied once she felt that her voice wouldn't betray her now conflicted emotions.

He rolled up his script and slid it in his back pocket. "Fine. If that's how it's going to be, then fine." He knew he was being harsh, but he didn't really care. He finally felt comfortable in opening himself up to someone in the city, but she seemed completely uninterested in even having a simple conversation with him. If that's the way she wanted it, then that was fine by him. He didn't focus on the dialogue as he recited Romeo's monologue, his brain still focused on the girl in front of him. He sat down next to a sleeping Juliet. "O, here will I set up my everlasting rest, and shake the yoke of inauspicious stars from this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!" He leaned over and embraced her. "Arms, take your last embrace!"

"Ow," Riley yelped as her eyes flew open. Lucas instantly jumped back as she began to rub her aching arms.

"Are you ok?" His prior irritation with her had completely disappeared as he began to fear that he had somehow hurt her.

"I'm fine," she huffed. "You just grabbed me too hard."

"I barely touched you," he sighed. "Look Riley, I don't know what I did to you, but if you're just going to treat me like—"

"—like what? Like the way you treat everyone else? You know what," she began as she hoped down from Juliet's tomb. "I know you're trying to sabotage all of this. And for what reason? Because we actually had a real conversation once?"

"What are you talking about? I'm the one who is begging you to tell me what's wrong. I'm the one trying to figure out the best way to do all of this so we don't make asses out of ourselves in front of everyone we know." He gestured to all of the students around them who had stopped working on their various tasks when Riley cried out in pain.

Riley glanced around at all of the faces staring back at her. Could this day get any worse? She looked back at Lucas. "Can we just…" she sighed, "take it from 'Eyes look your last'?"

He nodded.

She laid back down and closed her eyes as she heard the other members of the cast and crew resume whatever they were working on. This time when Lucas embraced her, Riley winced, but said nothing.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Your reviews are simply incredible for this story. I'm insanely humbled by all of them. You all have very real and interesting comments on how the story is flowing, what you think about everything that's happening, how you feel about the characters...and it inspires me more than you'll ever know. You guys push me to be better, and I couldn't ask for anything more from y'all.**_

 _ **This chapter is dedicated to Nan, because...well...she's been wanting this since the first chapter.**_

* * *

Chapter Ten

Riley had managed to avoid one on one rehearsals with Lucas during the final days of play practice. Somehow they had also managed to avoid kissing one another throughout both dress rehearsals. Mrs. Thompson didn't even seem to notice, as she was constantly preoccupied with the technical aspects of the rehearsal.

When opening night finally arrived, Riley knew she had run out of time. She had no more excuses, nowhere to hide. It was 'Romeo and Juliet' and he was Romeo. And he'd have to kiss her and she'd have to kiss him. She had never been more petrified in her whole life. Knowing that her boyfriend would watch their every move on stage unnerved her even more. Things had gotten better between the two, but it had only been a few days since 'the incident'. Riley had to admit though that Charlie really did seem remorseful over the whole situation. All she wanted to do was to forget it and simply move on. She looked at herself in the mirror. She had never been one to appreciate her own appearance, but she had to admit that she did look pretty. Now, if she could just get through this first night. God, why didn't they practice the whole kissing thing before now?

"Hey Riley," Maya poked her head in the girls' dressing room. She took a quick glance around and noticed that her best friend was the only one in the room. "I got you a present."

Riley turned around in her chair to give Maya a warm smile. "What is it?"

She opened the door further to reveal a beaming Charlie holding a dozen yellow roses. "I managed to sneak him back here to see you."

"Hey," he smiled as he stepped into the room. Maya immediately closed the door in order to give them some privacy. Once they were alone, Charlie took a few more steps closer to his girlfriend. He looked down at her bare arms. "You look better." He knew that things were still a little awkward between them. He still couldn't believe that he grabbed her like that. Friar had been driving him insane ever since the first time he caught the guy looking at his girlfriend. He shouldn't have taken that anger out on Riley. He knew that Lucas was just trying to manipulate her. Judging by her standoffish behavior toward the new student over the last few days, Charlie found himself a little more at ease about her portraying Juliet to Friar's Romeo.

"Yeah," she knew what he was talking about without him saying another word. She looked down at her arms. "I put some ice on them for the last few nights. They look pretty normal again, which is good considering the costume," she gestured to her outfit. She had a white gown on with cap sleeves and a plunging neckline that Charlie wasn't exactly thrilled about Lucas seeing.

"Well…these are for you," he awkwardly handed her the bouquet of yellow roses.

"Thanks," she said as she took them and gently placed them on the counter beside her. "I'll get Maya to find a vase for them," she added before she turned to face him again. She had never been this awkward around her boyfriend and she hated every second of it.

Charlie looked around the room as he desperately tried to find something to talk to her about that didn't pertain to what happened a few nights ago. He simply wanted her to know that he supported her. "Are you excited?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded as she rocked back on her heels. She too looked around the empty dressing room, trying to find something to talk to him about. She drew a complete blank.

Charlie closed his eyes. He could tell that she seemed uncomfortable. "Listen, I know that what's up there is acting, so don't feel self conscious about it. I know you're gonna have to kiss him." 'Repeatedly,' he added in his mind. He couldn't stand the thought of that jerk kissing his girlfriend, but he knew that it was inevitable. He was more than angry at the thought of it, but Riley was cast as Juliet long before Lucas got the part of Romeo. It wasn't her fault.

Riley stopped rocking back and forth on her heels as a sense of anxiety started to crawl up her spine. "It doesn't mean anything, Charlie."

"I know," he laughed nervously.

"It doesn't," she repeated. "I'm with you. I've been with you for three years. That's not going to change." She wasn't sure who she was trying to convince: herself or him. Yes, Charlie had persuaded her into believing that all of their trouble began with Lucas showed up, and while that all still made sense to her, she couldn't quite shake the feeling she got when she was around him. They had a genuine connection with one another. One that Riley couldn't define yet. Even though they had barely spoken to one another over the last few days, Riley still wanted to try to be his friend. She wasn't sure if or how it would work out with Charlie, but it was simply who Riley was. She wanted nothing more than to be friends with everyone—even someone who had the potential to flip her world upside down.

"Good." He took a step closer to her before he tilted his head down to kiss her quickly on the lips. "I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

Riley felt a little better about the play and her imminent kiss with Lucas after talking to Charlie. Of course he understood it was just acting. Now Riley had to convince herself of that same notion. She had to somehow separate her acting from her real conflicted emotions. She had managed to avoid it for as long as possible. Now would be her real test. She took a deep breath as she wandered around on the stage during the party scene. As she walked around, she realized that maybe she should've talked to Lucas about everything before this. Maybe then it wouldn't be quite so awkward. Maybe there wouldn't be this tension between them. When Lucas approached her on the stage, she kept repeating to herself that this was all an act. This was all pretend.

Lucas was nervous. It wasn't acting in front of everyone that had him nervous. He could care less what the audience thought of him. It was the fact that he was going to kiss _her_. He was actually going to _kiss_ Riley Matthews. Sure, it was just a play, and for all he knew, she was completely disgusted by him, but they had to do this. He felt an equal sense of excitement and dread. He was hopeful that a kiss from her would dispel any notions he had about her romantically. His feared that the exact opposite would end up being true. Either way, he was about to find out. He took a deep breath. "If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this," he reached for her slightly trembling hand. He held it between his as he continued with "My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss." He lifted her hand to his mouth as he gently brushed her knuckles with his lips.

Riley shivered as a jolt tore throughout her whole body. She looked out at the audience for a moment before she found her composure. "Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss."

Lucas sensed Riley's discomposure. He had to admit that it gave him the courage he needed to actually do the one thing they hadn't ever practiced. Maybe…just maybe…Riley felt the same thing he did. Maybe she was just as anxious about this moment as he was? "Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?"

Riley took several steps back as she created some space from Lucas. She ended up further away from him than they had practiced, primarily because she knew that she needed room to think—not about the lines, she had those down. She had to try to prepare herself for the next few moments. She was already at her wit's end with that stupid hand kiss. What was a real one going to do to her? "Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer."

Lucas took a step closer to her. With every line, his confidence grew more and more. With every fleeting moment, he could tell that Riley was becoming more and more nervous. He realized that there was no possible way that Riley didn't feel the same thing he did when they touched—when his lips brushed against her knuckles, when he simply held her hand. Play or not; acting or not. Some things couldn't possibly be faked. "O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair."

His eyes bore into her. It felt like he was seeing directly into her soul. "S-Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake." She completely froze as she took a shaky breath and prayed her legs wouldn't give out from under her.

Lucas swallowed as his eyes never left hers. He hadn't noticed it before, but there was a little speck of gold in her right eye. Suddenly, that little speck had completely enthralled him. He took one more step toward her, the space between them now nonexistent. "Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take." He slowly bent his head down. When he heard her faintly gasp at the closeness of him, he couldn't help but smile. She was anticipating this just as much as he was. With renewed courage, his lips finally found hers.

Her lips were soft, softer than he had ever imagined. He immediately tried to commit the moment to memory. Everything. The way she still trembled in his embrace. The taste of the vanilla lip-gloss that she wore. How he felt like he could completely melt into her. Even though the first kiss was supposed to be brief, he couldn't help but want to stay exactly where he was. He didn't want to separate himself from her. He wanted to stay there with her just like that until the end of time. For the first time in his miserable life, he felt completely whole. He lingered just one more moment before he reluctantly pulled back from her, his arms still wrapped around her body. "Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged."

Riley nearly pouted when Lucas pulled back from the kiss. Was she awake? Was this reality? Were the feelings coursing throughout her body actually real or had her dreams of _'subway boy'_ somehow merged with her constant anxiety about the play? At the moment, she didn't care if it was all just a dream. Because it was the best possible dream she could ever hope to have. _That kiss._ It was as tender as every first kiss should be, but Riley felt so much more than just lips on lips. Her dream guy flashed in front of her once more. Those feelings. The feelings she had in those dreams were the exact same feelings that she was experiencing right now. She felt her heart beat rapidly in her chest. When Lucas raised an eyebrow at her, signaling it was her line, she tried to rebound as she suddenly collided back to earth. This was real. This moment was completely real. "Then have my lips the sin that they have took."

The right corner of Lucas's lips lifted in a half smile that nearly made Riley swoon on the spot. She knew that he knew exactly what he was doing. She hated that cockiness, but somewhere deep in the back of her mind, she had to admit that the thought of his lips on hers again was exhilarating.

All he wanted was to taste her lips again, to be completely consumed by what he felt whenever he was around her. He knew that she had the power to completely break him, a power that he had never given to anyone. Somehow though, some way, this girl had managed to take complete control of him. She could break his heart into a million pieces and he would grovel at her feet for one more look, one more touch. It was the most intense feeling he had ever experienced in his life. "Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!" He lowered his head to her ear. "Give me my sin again," he said softly.

Riley closed her eyes as she trembled once more, goose bumps peppering her arms. When he leaned down to kiss her again, they both found themselves opening their mouths to one another in an attempt to get even closer to one another: something that was definitely not in the script. This time it was Riley who lingered a little longer against Lucas's firm lips. When she finally pulled back from him, she looked up into his emerald eyes, completely hypnotized by the guy in front of her. "You kiss by the book."

* * *

Riley was grateful when the first act finally ended. By some miracle, she had managed to survive her first and second kiss with her Romeo. As soon as she exited the stage, she retreated to the girls' dressing room to prepare for the second act, Maya quick on her heels. Lucas had looked around for her briefly, hoping to at least have a quick conversation about what had transpired on stage, but Riley was nowhere to be found. Defeated, he went to the guys' dressing room to look over his lines once more before the next act began.

"Out," Maya commanded everyone lounging around in the girls' dressing room.

Sarah stood up, confused as to why Maya was kicking everyone out of the dressing room. "Maya, you can't just—"

"I just did," Maya spun around to face Sarah. "I'm the stage manager and I'm telling all of you to go somewhere else. Go help set up the balcony. Just…don't be in here." She slammed her clipboard on the counter for added effect. She wasn't in the mood to listen to complaining. She had more important things to discuss with her best friend.

Riley flopped down in her chair as all of the girls vacated the dressing room. Once they were all gone, Maya locked the door. "What was that," she nearly shrieked as she spun around to face the brunette.

Riley took a deep breath as she looked at her reflection to see what make up touches she needed before going back on stage. "What are you talking about?"

Maya threw her arms up in complete exasperation. She knew that Riley knew exactly what she was talking about. Maya gaped at the pair the whole time they interacted on stage. Their chemistry was palpable. "Ok, I know you two were supposed to kiss and all, but Riley…for a second there I thought we would have to pull the curtain to get you two to separate."

"Don't be so dramatic." Riley looked at her best friend through the mirror. Truth be told, Riley had retreated to the dressing room for two reasons: to escape Lucas and to try to figure out exactly what _had_ happened on that stage. Though she loved Maya like a sister, she was a little frustrated at her reaction. It wasn't helping. If anything, it was just amplifying every emotion that was flowing through Riley at the moment. "It was…just acting," she tried to brush off.

Maya put her hands on her hips. She wasn't about to let this go that easily. "Riley, I've known you for how long?"

"Like ten years," Riley said as she began to mess with her hair.

"Ok…so in that ten year time span, I'd say I know you pretty well, right?"

"Yeah?" She turned to look at her best friend. "So?" _'Play it off, Matthews,'_ Riley thought to herself.

"So, either you're the best actress in the world or there is clearly something going on between you and Lucas," she hissed.

Riley thought about it for a moment. Sure, her emotions sent her into a tailspin out on that stage. Maybe it was because he was only the second guy she had ever kissed. Maybe she had just gotten wrapped up in the play. She shook her head as she continued to try to dismiss everything she felt with Lucas on the stage. "There isn't anything going on between us," she finally told Maya. She turned back to the mirror, where she noticed Charlie's flowers. "I have a boyfriend."

"Have you ever kissed Charlie like that, Riley? Geez. I had to fan myself watching it!"

Riley let out a soft chuckle. "Don't be so dramatic, Maya. It's just a play. Four nights and five more performances and it'll all be over with."

Maya crossed her arms over her chest. "Looks to me like it's just beginning."

Riley looked at her reflection in the mirror once more. She knew she was in complete denial over everything. She didn't know what to do. She didn't even know how Lucas felt about any of it or if this was just some scheme of his to mess up her whole life. She reminded herself of what Charlie had said. _'None of this happened before Lucas came to town.'_ He was a self-proclaimed troublemaker. She needed to stay away from him. It felt like everyone in her world had told her to stay away from Lucas Friar. She tried to listen, but it started to feel like fate had other ideas in mind.

* * *

By the time the last act came around, Riley was certain she was going insane. She wasn't sure how the audience felt about her performance, but she was convinced that her face was bright red the entire time. She also didn't realize just how often Romeo and Juliet kissed in the play. Every kiss felt a little more intense than the previous, and at one point during their scene in the third act where Romeo gives Juliet one last kiss goodbye before his exile, Riley felt her legs nearly give out from underneath her as he clasped her in his arms and dipped her, his lips crashing onto hers. At first, Riley completely forgot they were even in the stupid play. Once she saw him climb down the balcony, she remembered where she was.

At least now she didn't have to interact with him. She was supposed to be in a deep sleep and by the time she woke up, he would be dead. She knew there were two kisses left. Nope, she shook her head as she walked to the stage. Only two more _tonight_. She still had a handful of performances to get through with him.

She knew that he was trying to talk to her backstage, but she was able to dodge him every time. She feared that he wanted to either torture her mercilessly about her uncontrollable reactions to him or, even worse, tease her for the way she kissed. She knew she wasn't very good at it. She had only ever kissed Charlie and he let her know on more than one occasion that she didn't know what she was doing. She hadn't really been a fan of it because of those insecurities that Charlie seemed to instill in her. It would kill her to know that Lucas thought the same thing about what she considered to be one of the most electrifying nights of her life.

As she was about to go to her spot on top of Juliet's tomb, Lucas spotted her and jogged over. "Riley," he whispered. As they were on the stage, just with the curtain pulled, they had to be quiet so the audience wouldn't hear them during the intermission.

"Not now," she said as she waved her arm to dismiss him. She didn't want to hear this now—especially not when the audience could potentially hear them. She just wanted to get through this night. Couldn't he understand that?

"We need to talk," he pleaded. He couldn't handle it anymore. He was tired of running from whatever it was between them. He needed to know how she felt. Her actions on the stage led him to believe that she felt everything he did. At the same time, he also knew that if Riley was left to think about it too long, she would convince herself that it wasn't real—that everything they felt on the stage was just acting, but it wasn't—not for him.

"Lucas," she closed her eyes as she tried to compile her thoughts, "I know what you're going to say." She opened her eyes and looked over at him. "And…I don't want to hear it."

He frowned. That wasn't exactly the reaction he had expected from her. He was convinced that she felt everything he had felt in every single kiss, every single moment they had with one another since they met. There was no way she felt that with Charlie Gardner. The guy was a complete creep. He didn't know how Riley didn't see that. Lucas knew he was no prize, and that he wasn't worthy of her, but he also knew that they had to talk about everything that had happened between them.

"Let's just…get through this," she added when he didn't say a word in response.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: I was worried about how the last chapter would go over, but you guys calmed my fears with your beautiful comments. Updates are probably going to slow down a little (goal is to update once or twice a week) as I have decided to change some things in the story, so parts that I've previously written (nothing I've posted is changing) are now having to be rewritten to fit it. I hope the wait will be worth it. Again, thank you all for your kind words on here and other social media platforms. It's helped me to really focus in on what I want this story to be about.**_

 _ **This chapter goes out to Shea cause it's her birthday and she's pretty awesome.**_

* * *

Chapter Eleven

Riley expected Charlie to throw a fit about the intensity of her scenes with Lucas in the play, but he didn't. Oddly enough, he seemed really supportive and happy with her performance. Riley was grateful for that. On top of her mixed emotions about her Romeo, she didn't want another strange encounter with her boyfriend.

She managed to successfully avoid Lucas outside of their scenes together for the first few days of performances. She was quite meticulous and calculating about it. Whenever she saw him, she would find some excuse to leave and head in the opposite direction. When she wasn't on stage, she spent most of the performances in the girls' dressing room, which was constantly under guard by one of the adult volunteers. She knew that he couldn't get to her in there.

On stage was a different story. She tried to resist him. She tried to think about anything other than him—her lines, the mechanics of her stage directions, helping Maya clean up behind the stage after the show, even schoolwork. None of it worked. When they were on stage together, everything seemed to be electrified. They played off one another seamlessly.

To say Lucas was frustrated by the last few performances was an understatement. Every time he tried to get close to Riley, she would leave. He would attempt to follow her, but she always went into that damn dressing room which was always heavily guarded by someone. He had tried several times to get to her—even going so far as to flirt with a middle aged woman who stood watch during the next to last performance. He thought it was actually going to work until Maya interfered and told Lucas that he needed to get ready for the next act and that 'the guys' dressing room was on the opposite side of the stage'. He thought about telling the blonde where she could happily go, but he refrained for some strange reason. No, he knew the reason. It was Riley. It was always Riley. And she wouldn't talk to him. She wouldn't even look at him when they were in school, and she always seemed to surround herself with armed escorts to and from every single class. He thought about asking for Farkle's assistance with his not-so-little problem, but his friendship with the future class valedictorian was new and Lucas figured that the request would be futile. Farkle was not only one of Riley's best friends, but he was also really good friends with Charlie, and Lucas was convinced that somehow Charlie would find out about it and it would just create a headache Lucas wasn't ready for. He wasn't afraid of Charlie. No, Lucas knew he could chew him up and spit him out in his sleep, but Lucas also knew that Riley probably wouldn't appreciate it very much. Lucas had never had to go to such lengths to get a girl to talk to him. If anything, he had to go through similar lengths just to get away from them.

That's when the idea came to him. The day of the last performance. Before she could have a chance to write off the clear chemistry between them, he knew he had one final chance to get her to speak with him.

* * *

As Riley made her way to the stage after school that Friday afternoon, she was starting to believe that she was going to be able to avoid the confrontation with Lucas entirely. Just one more performance. One more beautiful escape into a reality that was not her's to keep. She felt that if she could get through this last performance, it wouldn't matter what he said—it would already be over with and she could simply move on with her life. Yes, she would still see him around school. Yes, she still wanted to try to establish some sort of friendship with him. She just had to get through this last performance in order to put away her confusing feelings for the Texan.

As she made her way behind the stage, she felt someone grab her from behind and pull her into the costume room. Panicked, she started scratching and clawing to get away from whoever it was, to no avail. She opened her mouth to scream, when a hand gently, but firmly covered it. Somehow, during the struggle, a light switch got turned on. She spun around to see who her captor was. She completely froze when her eyes met Lucas's. "What are you doing," she hissed. "I almost had a heart attack."

"I'm sorry, Riley, but we need to talk."

She looked down. Why now? In just a few short hours, they would be done with all of this. Why couldn't he permit her just a few more hours of pretend before he dealt her the fatal blow that everything she thought they felt over the last few days was an illusion? "No, we don't." She wanted to turn and leave as every impulse in her body was screaming at her her to do, but for some reason, she couldn't. It felt as if her legs were suddenly glued to the floor beneath her.

Lucas leaned back against the counter behind him once he realized that she wasn't going to leave. "Then _I_ need to talk to you."

Riley bit the inside of her cheek. She didn't want to hear any of this, even though deep down she knew that this conversation was exactly what she needed. Avoiding everything clearly wasn't working for her. Maybe some harsh reality would remind her who she was. "I'm listening," she finally said.

He took a deep breath. He had practiced what he would say to her repeatedly over the last few days. As he watched her look from the corner of the closet to the floor, every speech he had rehearsed suddenly left his body. Maybe they shouldn't talk about it? Maybe it was just him? He shook his head. No. The way she acted on stage told him otherwise. Just as he melted into her every time their lips met, he knew that she melted too. She had to have. That kind of heat isn't just one sided. "I know you feel it, Riley."

Riley frowned, but still refused to look up at him. She crossed her arms in front of her chest as she looked down at her shoes. "W-What are you talking about?"

"This," he gestured between them as he took a small step closer to her. "Us," he whispered.

Was this some sort of trap to get her to admit something just so he could torture her? She had heard so many things about him over the last few weeks. Some of those stories simply didn't seem real. Yes, he obviously had some issues, but she knew he wasn't that guy. Or did she? "There…is no us," she said slowly, careful not to betray her own erratic emotions. She wasn't sure what to think or to feel anymore. The last few days had just completely drained her. As much as she dreaded the end of this beautiful dream, she couldn't wait to gain some sort of clarity about it all.

He swallowed as her words stung him slightly. "You don't feel whatever has been going on between us?" He needed to know now. If this wasn't real, then he had to find some way to get Riley Matthews out of his system for once and for all before he drove himself insane trying to figure out a way to win her over.

Riley rubbed her forehead. She more than felt it. She dreamt about it. It was the only thing that had been on her mind for the last four days. She found herself looking forward to those few precious scenes where she could completely give into her feelings without any repercussions. She just didn't know what it all meant. This was new territory for her. She couldn't help but wander what he meant. She had to know before she said one word to him about what she was feeling. "What…w-what do you feel?"

"I don't know," he confessed as he took another step closer to her. He knew he had to tell her how he felt. He knew that she wouldn't be the first to admit anything. He had to step up and put himself on the line. It was completely new territory for him. He had never allowed himself to be consumed by anyone before. It scared him to death. "I know that it's not just acting…not for me anyway. I've felt this…I don't know…pull to you ever since I saw you on the subway. And I've been running from it, and then all of this just happened and everything is so amplified now." When she craned her neck up to look at him, he nearly forgot how to breathe. She looked so breathtakingly beautiful. He swallowed as he felt himself opening his heart fully to her. "Riley, I don't want to run anymore. I know I'm not good for you…and that you have this perfect life and everything, but I—"

Riley cut him off when her lips suddenly crashed onto his. The tears that had formed in her eyes started to trickle down her cheeks as she closed her eyes to relish this moment. She wasn't sure why she did it. She was never one to initiate anything like this, but the way he looked at her, the way he spoke to her felt like a dream. Everything in that precious moment felt so right, especially when she felt his arms snake around her waist and pull her even closer to him.

They both stayed that way for what felt like hours. Both needing what the other had, both finally giving in to what they had both dreamed of ever since they locked eyes on the subway. Riley was the first to pull away, after an image of her very real boyfriend popped in her mind. A moment of pure rapture had suddenly morphed into a moment of pure horror. She took a step back as she covered her mouth with her hand, tears continuing their path down her cheeks. "W-What did I just do?"

Lucas took a step toward her. "You didn't do anything wrong," he said softly.

"Yes…yes I did," she shook her head as she took another step back and wiggled fully out of his embrace. She spun around. She couldn't look at him. This wasn't who she was. She didn't do things like this. She wasn't a cheater. "I…I have a boyfriend. And you have a girlfriend. And I…oh my God." She buried her head in her hands as a million thoughts rushed in and out of her. Who was she? This wasn't Riley Matthews. Riley Matthews wouldn't ever do anything like this.

Lucas looked down. It killed him to know that he had caused her pain, guilt over whatever was happening between them. It was the last thing in the world that he wanted. "Riley," he cleared his throat when he realized that his voice sounded hoarse as a mixture of emotions filled him. It wouldn't do any good to get upset. He knew Riley would feel even worse about everything. Still though, he had to make her see that this was real. "You felt that," he continued, his voice gentle, but firm. "I know that you feel whatever this is between us." When she didn't respond to him, he took a shaky breath. "You don't love him like that, Riley. I know you don't."

"You don't…you don't know," she defended as she spun back around to face him. She began to wipe her eyes, her grief giving way to anger. How dare he presume to know what was in her heart? Even she didn't know. "You've only known me for a month and what do you really know about me? Charlie…Charlie knows me. He's been there for me for a really long time and…what do I do to repay him? I ch—"

"Don't say it," Lucas commanded. He couldn't bear to hear her finish that sentence. "Don't try to belittle what we have—what's going on between us. Riley, I tried to hide from this, even run from it. I-I don't want to anymore."

Riley shook her head. She couldn't listen to this—not now. She didn't know how to handle any of it. "I don't even know you."

"I know you," he said as he took a step closer to her. He reached for her right hand and brought it to his lips. "I know that you shiver when I do this," he lightly brushed his lips against her knuckles. "I know that you would do anything for your friends, including painting sets when you know that you aren't the best artist," he chuckled lightly. "I know that you have a speck of gold in your right eye. I know that…that you are the most beautiful person I've ever met…inside and out…and if there is anyone in the world who could fix my dented spirit, it's you." He swallowed as he brought their hands behind her back and nudged her closer to him. "You make me feel like I could be anyone I wanted to be."

"You can be," she said softly as she allowed him to gently pin her arm behind her back, their fingers interlaced with one another.

He brought his free hand up to her face as he gently stroked her cheek. "All I want to be is with you," he murmured before his lips met her in a gentle kiss.

"Lucas," Riley whimpered. She wasn't sure how much longer she could resist him. Everything he said was everything every girl could ever hope to hear, but she knew that it wasn't that simple. It wasn't that easy, not for her, not for them. He was still 'the bad guy'. She was 'the good girl with a seemingly perfect life'.

He pulled back from her as he let go of her hand. "You don't want this."

The pained look in his eyes was enough to make Riley want to forget everything outside of the closet they were in, but she knew she couldn't. All of her problems would still be waiting for her. Lucas didn't deserve to get in the middle of all that. He deserved so much more. She knew she had to figure herself out before she could even comprehend the idea of being with him. "I don't know! I just need to think!"

"You don't love him." It wasn't a question at all for him. He knew that she didn't. If she did, she wouldn't have kissed him. She wouldn't have this conversation with him. She just would've told him that she didn't return the feelings and that would've been the end of it.

"It's not that simple!"

"Yes, it is. Riley…please," he begged. "Tell me what you feel."

"I just…I just need some time to think!" Her hands began to shake at the sheer stress of everything going on around her. She had never imagined their conversation going quite like this. She never thought that she would be faced with a decision like this. He was asking her to leave everything she had known for the last three years—to abandon her comfort zone—to explore something completely new. That's just not who she was. She was never a fan of change, but at the same time, could she completely ignore how she felt when she was around Lucas?

"The fact that you're even entertaining this should tell you everything you need to know," he countered. He knew he was putting pressure on her. He could tell that she was coming apart at the seams, but he also knew that she needed the push. He didn't know the next time he would be able to talk to her alone, especially as the play was almost over with. He knew that his best chance of swaying her was right here, right now.

"Lucas, I just don't know!" Tears cascaded down her cheeks. All of this pressure was too much for her. This was completely new territory and she wasn't sure how to navigate it or where to turn. She had no one she could talk to about it. She realized that she would have to make this decision on her own, and she was petrified that she would make the wrong one. Couldn't he understand that she needed some time to sort out her feelings? "I'm…I'm sorry," she mumbled as she turned and exited the closet, leaving behind a completely bewildered Lucas.

Once she left, Lucas turned and braced his hands on either side of the counter. After a moment, he balled up his fists and punched the counter. He felt a sting, but it didn't compare to the sudden ache in his heart. He knew that was his best chance at getting her to leave her comfortable life to be with him. Given enough time to actually think about it, he knew that she wouldn't change anything about her world. Maybe she didn't feel the same thing he did when they were around one another. He looked at his right hand as he watched the blood begin to pool around his knuckles.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Galpalcj, your review blew me away. You know EXACTLY what I'm trying to do with this story. My goal with this fic is to explore the "secret of life" and the what if of the timing of Lucas's arrival in NYC. "People change people" is the HEART of what I'm trying to do with this story.**_

 _ **Thank you all for being so patient with the updates. And all of your reviews are so incredibly amazing.**_

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Chapter Twelve

It was over. Most of the final show flew by in a blur for Riley and Lucas. Both were completely lost in their own thoughts of the other. Every kiss they shared on stage felt bittersweet for Lucas. He became convinced that she had completely written off the idea of them being together. Riley was so lost and confused in her own emotions that she didn't even think about the performance or was even cognizant of the feeling of his lips on hers during their more intense scenes together. Lucas mistook her dazed state for indifference. He was so upset by the whole thing that as soon as the curtain fell, he stormed off the stage to get out of the costume and away from the school.

The after party was at Riley's mother's café, Topanga's. The entire cast, crew, and their plus ones showed up, cramping the small eatery. Riley couldn't help but constantly search the room for him. She tried to find him after their curtain call, but she was too late. He had already left—with Missy Bradford. She knew she needed to explain it all to him. That she did feel something for him, but she just didn't know what to do. She had only ever been with Charlie. Though they had recently hit a rough patch, she still really cared about him. She wanted to tell Lucas that she just needed time to sort it all out. She scanned the whole room three times before she finally gave up. Of course he wouldn't show up. That wasn't his style. He was probably off with Missy somewhere.

The thought of Missy made Riley want to completely back peddle from the whole situation. She couldn't help but wonder that if Lucas really did have those intense, deep emotions for her, why was he still with Missy? She wanted to believe every word he said, that he had felt something for her from the moment they laid eyes on one another, but his actions had more than proven that he was still keeping his options open.

"You ok," Maya asked when she noticed the pensive look on her best friend's face. She thought her normally happy-go-lucky best friend would be beaming at the close of another great production. Instead, Maya noted that Riley seemed—upset about something.

"Yeah," Riley said as tried to bring her thoughts back to the party going on around her. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She couldn't worry about Lucas right now. She wanted to enjoy her evening with her friends and celebrate another successful show.

"Are you guys glad the play is over," Zay asked as he and Charlie brought some cups of punch to everyone.

"I am," Maya told them as she took one of the drinks. "It was fun, but so much extra work. I hope I don't end up sleeping through the whole weekend." Maya had worked harder in the last month than she ever had in her whole life—though she hated it at the time, looking back, she loved how much creative control Mrs. Thompson gave her over the production design. Mrs. Thompson seemed more than pleased with her work. She had already asked Maya about helping with the spring production. Secretly, Maya was looking forward to it.

"What about you, Riley?" Farkle turned to one of his best friends. He immediately caught on to the fact that brunette had been quiet for most of the evening. He, like Maya, had also noticed the intensity of the scenes she had with Lucas in the show. Farkle knew something was going on between the two of them, but he wasn't sure what. They didn't really interact outside of the play. It was weird.

"Yeah," she replied slowly as she tried to come up with some sort of diplomatic answer. To say her feelings about the play being over were completely mixed would be an understatement. "I mean, it was a lot of work, but once the show began, it was such an adrenaline rush. Everything just seemed to happen all at once. I-"

"I can't believe he showed up," Maya interrupted as she saw Lucas and Missy walk into the café. Maya snickered at the girl draped all over Lucas. She practically wore next to nothing as her dress—if you could call it that—barely covered her butt.

"And he brought Missy," Farkle noted as he looked from the couple back to Riley as he tried to gauge her reaction at seeing the couple show up to the party.

"You guys know that she's the reason he got that second week of detention, right," Zay mentioned to the small group, completely oblivious to the group's mixed reactions at the sight of the couple.

"What are you talking about?" Farkle looked from Riley to Zay, confusion written all over his face. He had talked to Lucas a handful of times, mostly about video games, but Missy never came up in their conversations. Farkle knew that Zay and Lucas hadn't made up yet. So then, how would Zay know anything about how Lucas got detention?

"Apparently they were caught in the principal's car." Zay shook his head. His former best friend seemed to be up to his old tricks. Cause destruction no matter where he went. He was just thankful that he seemed to be leaving his own small circle alone.

"Caught doing what?" Maya frowned. She noticed Riley stiffen beside her. She tried not to bring attention to her best friend's sudden discomfort. She knew Riley had mixed emotions about the guy, but they both had kind of thought it was just the play talking. Maya was starting to believe that wasn't exactly the case anymore.

"Well," Zay chuckled as he tried to find a way to say what happened without being too crude. "They were just making out when they got caught, but I mean if they hadn't been caught...it was obvious how far they were going to take things. I mean," he couldn't help but go into details, "I heard that her top was off and his pants were unzipped, so I think it's safe to assume what was gonna happen."

Riley had to swallow the bile that suddenly filled the back of her throat at that bit of information. Lucas, who claimed that he had wanted to be with her for so long, was caught with Missy Bradford in the principal's car. Her eyes wandered over to where the topic of the group's conversation slowly swayed to the music on the dance floor. Riley suddenly felt incredibly stupid. Everything was a lie. Every word. Every look. She felt nauseous. She CHEATED on her boyfriend with someone who…who…she couldn't even complete the thought. She tore her eyes away from the couple as she looked to her boyfriend. She had to get up…move around before she completely lost it. "Charlie, do you want to dance?"

He smiled at her. "Absolutely."

They couple breezed past Lucas and Missy on the way to an empty spot on the designated dance floor. Charlie pulled Riley close to him as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She draped her arms around his neck as she leaned in to rest her head on his shoulder. As they slowly spun around the room, Riley couldn't resist temptation. She looked over to Lucas, who was already looking back at her. After a brief moment, she diverted her gaze as she felt her anger build. He had no right to look at her like she was the one who was inflicting pain on him. Zay was right. Lucas only wanted to cause trouble. He was messing with her. All of it was some sick joke.

"You know I love you, right," she heard Charlie say as he interrupted her thoughts.

"Y-Yeah," Riley leaned back to look at him.

"I mean it, Riley," he affirmed, tone serious. "You mean the world to me."

Riley gave him a small smile before she moved to rest her head on his shoulder once more. For one last time, she looked over to where Lucas and Missy were embracing on the floor. She watched as Lucas spun them around so he could look at Riley. Their eyes locked. She looked completely lost and confused. He wanted nothing more than to take her away from Charlie at that very moment, but he knew that wasn't what she wanted.

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Maya waited. She waited all through the after party. She waited while they got ready for bed. She pretended to read some magazine for the last twenty minutes while she still waited for her best friend to say something. Finally, she had enough. She was through waiting. She knew something was up with her best friend. She had to know what was going on. "Ok, that's it," she yelled as she threw her magazine down.

Riley, who lounged on her bed reading a book, looked over at her best friend who was now standing by her bay window. "You do know it's almost one in the morning and other people live here, right?"

Maya ignored her comment. She had played nice all night. She wasn't about to be distracted now. "What's going on?"

Riley closed the book. She knew what Maya was asking about, but Riley was still a little hesitant to say anything. She wasn't sure how to talk to Maya about it all, mostly because she didn't understand any of it herself. "What do you mean?"

"Riley. It's me. Maya. Best friend. Now," she walked exactly three steps toward Riley's bed before she sat down across from her. "I noticed that when Zay started to talk about Lucas that you seemed upset. Did something happen between you guys?"

Riley ran a hand through her hair. She knew Maya would immediately recognize it if she lied, and Riley desperately wanted to confide in someone about everything that happened. Maya wasn't the most objective person in the world, but Riley knew that she wouldn't breathe a word of it to anyone. "I don't know what's going on," she answered truthfully.

Maya frowned. "Not following."

She took a deep breath. "Before the show tonight, Lucas and I…talked, I guess."

"Talked? About what?" Maya knew that she was going to have to pull everything out of her suddenly timid best friend. She also knew that something big must've happened between the two of them. She noticed every look they gave each other at the after-party.

Riley bit her lip. She swore to herself that she was going to figure this all out on her own, but she needed some clarity. She needed her best friend. "About us. Him and me. What we are or could be."

Maya raised her eyebrows. "And?"

"And what?"

"Oh, come on Riley. Your literal dream guy comes into your life and you guys talk about what you are to one another and you aren't going to tell your best friend Maya about it?"

Riley looked down at her hands. She briefly thought about shutting down the whole conversation, but maybe she could work this all out by simply talking about it. "He told me that he wants to be with me. He wants me to break up with Charlie. He…told me that he had feelings for me."

"Is that all?" Maya had to know every detail. She was completely blown away by all of this. She had suspected for a while that there was something going on between the two of them, but she had to give Lucas credit. She never thought he would actually open up to Riley and admit how he felt about her.

"I…sort of…kissed him." Riley buried her face in her hands. She still couldn't believe she did that. It felt so right at the time, so real. But then she remembered who she was and who she was with. And then tonight, she was reminded of who he was. Now that beautiful moment was completely drenched in regret.

Maya thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head. Her best friend, the girl who always did everything right, kissed someone who wasn't her boyfriend? She couldn't form a thought for a minute as she tried to process the five words Riley just uttered. Finally, Maya found her voice. "WHAT?"

"Shh," Riley hushed as she still hid her face. The last thing she needed was for one of her parents or her little brother to come in and witness her complete and total shame.

"I'm sorry," Maya whispered. "But…what," she hissed. "You kissed him?"

Riley nodded before she lowered her hands. She refused to look at her best friend. She felt so low at that moment. Lower than low. How could she have messed up that badly? "I just got swept up in the moment. He was telling me how he felt this connection with me ever since we met, but then how he knows he isn't good enough for me…and…I kissed him."

Maya leaned forward, completely engrossed by her best friend's words. She rested her elbow on her knee as she cradled her head in her hand. "What happened next?"

"He kissed me back." _'Maybe this would all be easier if he wasn't so good at it,'_ she thought miserably.

Maya grinned. This was just like a movie! "You made out with Lucas Friar?"

"Maya," Riley said dejectedly. "It's not funny."

Maya tried not to smile. When she realized it was easier said than done, she tucked her bottom lip into her mouth to try to hide it. When she realized Riley wasn't going to say anything else, Maya opened her mouth to speak, her smile instantly returning. "So, you did?"

"Yes," was Riley's exasperated answer. "But…I realized what I was doing and who I was doing it with, so I stopped. He then told me that I didn't love Charlie and how he didn't want to run away from whatever was between us."

Maya started to fan herself as she imagined how it all played out. "Was it as intense as I think it was?"

"More, I'm sure." Riley glanced toward her window. "It was the most intense moment of my life."

"So, what did you tell him?"

"I told him I didn't know. And…I don't." She didn't think it was possible to be even more confused about everything, but after hearing herself tell Maya about it, Riley was.

"Riley," Maya sighed dramatically. "You don't love Charlie."

Riley frowned. She wasn't quite expecting that comment from her best friend. She knew Maya wasn't a fan of him, but she had never told her anything like that before. "What are you talking about?"

"Look…I know you better than anyone. What you have with Charlie is comfortable…boring even. You started going out with him just to get through the awkwardness of your first date. Problem is that you never quite said 'goodnight' to him. You just stayed in this routine with him. We never really talk about him unless I mention him. You don't really spend a lot of time alone with him, not like most of the couples we know. You don't look at him like you look at…" Maya stopped. She told herself a long time ago that she wasn't going to push Riley into realizing how she felt about Charlie, but now, Maya couldn't help it. Yes, there were some harsh rumors going around about Lucas, but Maya saw how she looked at him and how he looked at her. There was something genuine about it, something special. Maya knew she had to push Riley toward it, if she could.

"Like I look at who, Maya?"

Maya gave her a knowing look. "You know who."

Riley looked from her window back to her best friend in the world. Some of what she said made sense, but Riley still felt a loyalty to her boyfriend. "It's not that easy."

Maya had to stand up, her frustration growing. She had to make Riley see that what she had with Charlie was just a relationship of convenience. They weren't right for each other; never were and never will be. "Yes, it is. You aren't married to Charlie, Riley. You don't have kids with him."

"I still have feelings for Charlie."

"But you also have feelings for Lucas."

Riley nodded.

"So," Maya sighed as she sat back down on the bed, "Who do you like more?"

Riley scoffed. Couldn't Maya see that was her whole problem? "If it was that easy, don't you think I would've already made a decision? I like them both…in different ways. And besides, Lucas is with Missy. That hasn't changed."

Maya couldn't disagree with that. "Yeah…kind of a jerk move. To date one girl while telling the other that he has feelings for her."

"Exactly." Riley looked down. "This could all be some scheme of his to screw up my life."

Maya ran a hand through her hair. It didn't seem like Lucas wanted to intentionally hurt Riley. Sure, he had a reputation, and Zay had made it clear that they should stay away from him, but this didn't seem like a malicious plan at all. "Why would he do that?"

She shrugged. "Because I got close to him. Because I saw who he could be…and maybe he didn't like that."

"I don't think it's a trick, Riley."

"So…why is he almost having sex with girls in the principal's car, Maya? I don't…" she closed her eyes as she forced herself not to cry. She wasn't going to cry over him-again. "I don't need that kind of drama in my life."

"You don't. No one does," Maya agreed. "You have to know though…that even if it isn't Lucas, it _really_ isn't Charlie."

"I love Charlie." The worst part about her comment was that Riley wasn't sure if she was trying to convince Maya or herself of it.

Maya nodded. "I know…but are you in love with him, Riley?"


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: Short chapter. Important chapter. Thank you for the continuous love for this story.**_

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Chapter Thirteen

The guilt of kissing Lucas ate at Riley over the next few days. She wasn't focused on her schoolwork, she wasn't engaged in any conversations with her friends, and she avoided eye contact with everyone around her. She had kissed someone who wasn't her boyfriend. And now, she had to live with it. She knew she had to tell Charlie, but she wasn't sure how to even bring it up. She looked up from her books to study him for a moment. It was just him and her at her apartment. Her parents and her little brother, Auggie, were out while Charlie and Riley studied for a history test. She wasn't able to focus at all on what she was reading. She sighed as her conscience started nagging at her. She knew she had to tell him and that it needed to happen sooner rather than later. "Charlie?"

"Hmm," he looked up from his history book. "What's up?" He knew things had been a little off with them since the play, but he also felt that it had something to do with the way he grabbed her. She told him countless times that she forgave him for it, but if it wasn't that, then why was there a weirdness between them that wasn't there before?

"I have…there's something…" she let out a breath as she stood up from the table and walked into the living room. She knew it was going to be hard, but this felt like complete torture. She never wanted to hurt Charlie. She just didn't know what she was doing with Lucas until she realized her lips were on his. It was a complete out of body experience for her. An experience that she was now paying heavily for.

He frowned, but stood up and followed her into the living room. "Riley," he laughed nervously.

She spun around. "I kissed Lucas." The words were rushed out so quickly she wasn't sure that Charlie could even understand what she was saying. As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt a huge weight off of her shoulders. As torturous as it was to keep that from him, she knew that the worst part of the whole situation had yet to come.

"W-What?" Charlie's mind went completely blank as he tried to process what she was telling him. Kissed? They kissed? It couldn't be…no. Riley wouldn't do something like that. _'Maybe she was just remorseful for having to kiss him during the play? Yeah. That has to be it.'_ "Oh, you mean the play, right?" Another nervous laugh escaped his throat. "It's ok, Riley. It was just acting. I understand that."

Riley shook her head. She was going to have to say it again? She could barely form the words the first time. She crossed her arms over her chest. "No…I…it…it was before the last show. We were just talking and-"

Everything that happened next happened so fast. Riley blinked. When she opened her eyes, Charlie was nose to nose with her, his hands squeezing her arms as he shook her.

"WHAT," his voice boomed in her ear, his face red.

Her eyes widened in shock. "Charlie, I—" Riley couldn't even finish the sentence as she felt his hand connect with the left side of her cheek. Her head felt like it was spinning—and not in the way that Lucas seemed to do to her. No, her whole world had shifted completely off of its axis. She went to touch her cheek to see if this was real or just some horrible nightmare, but he pinned her hands to her sides as he gripped her arms once more.

"How could you," he shouted into her ear. In that moment, he didn't see Riley as his loving, caring girlfriend. She was the cause of the sudden ache in his heart and head. He didn't recognize the girl who stood in front of him. The Riley he knew would never give into the manipulative games that Lucas Friar seemed to play with every girl at their school. His Riley wouldn't give him a second glance. His Riley would never, ever kiss someone else. As he looked at the girl in front of him, he didn't recognize his Riley at all.

Ears ringing, cheek stinging, and still not fully comprehending what was going on around her, Riley instantly started sobbing. "I-I'm sorry," she cried as she began to feel the pressure he applied to her aching arms. "I-I-I didn't meant for it to…it j-j-just happened, Charlie." She tried to take a breath, but as she released the oxygen from her lungs, more sobs flowed out of her. Her vision became blurry as the tears continuously formed in her mahogany eyes.

Charlie just watched as she completely fell apart in front of him. Even though his anger still raged, he loosened his grip on her. He looked for any sign that she was simply faking her remorse, but he couldn't find anything. Riley was a good actress, but there was no way she could turn on the tears like that unless she really was sorry about it all.

When Charlie released her arms again, her whole body shook as she was wracked with sobs. He turned his back to her as he walked back toward the kitchen. He stood there for a moment as he tried to get his anger under control. One question kept popping up in his mind. One he had to know the answer to. He spun to her. "How many times?"

"W-W-What?" Riley looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. Everything around her still looked blurry as she tried to blink the tears out of her eyes so she could actually see her boyfriend's face. Not finding much success, she finally dared to reach up to touch her now flushed cheek. She winced as she gently touched the area.

Charlie wasn't affected by her actions, his focus solely on getting an answer from her. He had to know what happened, even if it killed him. "How many times did you kiss him? Was it just once? Did you make out with him? Riley…did you…did you sleep with him?"

"No," she nearly shrieked as she violently shook her head for emphasis. "I-I-It was once."

He placed his hands on his hips as he tried to process everything that was going on around him. Why would she do this to him? Didn't she know how much he loved her? Couldn't she see what Lucas was trying to do to her? "Do you want to be with him? Is that it?" He didn't wait for her to answer before he continued, "Riley, the guy is complete garbage. All he wants to do is to get with every girl at our school. You're just another notch to him…a number in a long line of conquests. Why can't you see that?"

Riley crossed her arms over her chest in a failed attempt to stop her quaking body. She cupped her now swollen cheek in her hand as her mind continued to spin. Her head hurt, but she wasn't sure if it was because of the tears, the slap, or her constant inner battle about how she felt about Lucas Friar. It didn't help that Charlie had somehow found her biggest insecurity when it came to Lucas. Her next words came out before she could stop them. "H-How do you k-k-know that?"

He furrowed his eyebrows as an incredulous look overcame his features. Was she actually being serious about this? Had he gotten to her so much that she actually believed she was special to him? "He's already gone after Missy. I heard that once he finally got her to sleep with him, he broke up her and that he's already going after some other junior girl." He studied his girlfriend for a moment as he watched his words sink in to her. Riley was such an innocent. She saw the best in everyone. He needed her to see that his guy wasn't worth destroying a three-year relationship for. "These are all just games to him, Riley. I thought you'd be smart enough to see through his act." He slowly walked back over to her.

"I am smart enough," she defended as her mind continued to race. Charlie had a point. Lucas told her all of these things about how he wanted to be with her while he was still with Missy. If he really wanted to be with her, why did he continue to date Missy? Why did he bring her to the after party? He had to be messing with her. Why couldn't she see that before? Because she was Riley Matthews. And Riley Matthews always saw the best in everyone. "Maybe…maybe it was just…left over emotions from the play." That had to be it, she told herself. She was too smart to fall for someone who was just after one thing from her.

Charlie nodded as he seemed to accept her answer. Riley _was_ too smart to fall for him. He knew that. His girl would never kiss someone else unless she was being completely manipulated. "'Romeo and Juliet' is pretty intense," he had to admit. Maybe it was just about the intensity of the play and all of the performances? Maybe Riley just got wrapped up in the emotions of the play?

"Yeah…that's—that's all it was. I-I-I don't care about him l-l-like that." Her body began to quake as Charlie closed the distance between them. It wasn't the same feeling as the shiver she got when Lucas kissed her hand or the way her knees went weak at the simple thought of Lucas's lips on hers. No, this was the exact opposite. She trembled even more when Charlie wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry," he apologized before he kissed the top of her head. He pulled back to examine her enflamed cheek.

Riley simply closed her eyes as he looked over her marred face. Did this all just happen? She still couldn't quite comprehend what was going on around her. It simply felt like her spirit had left her body and she was watching this whole conversation from somewhere above them. She opened her eyes when she felt his hand finally leave her face. "I-I'm sorry," she found herself saying.

He gently wiped the tears away from her eyes. "I love you, Riley. I don't want to lose you." He leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on her still throbbing cheek.


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: You guys are so insightful and so funny with your reviews. They seriously make my day. I've never had such intense, passionate, and hilarious feedback before. I LOVE IT!**_

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Chapter Fourteen

' _Hitting someone is wrong.'_ It was a concept Riley learned when she was in the second grade. Her mother took the kids to the park one Saturday afternoon. Maya was pushing Farkle on the swings and he said something to her that made her mad and she shoved him off mid-swing. As Topanga put a band-aid on Farkle's skinned knee, she taught all of them that it doesn't matter how mad someone made you: pushing, shoving, and hitting was wrong.

Riley hadn't thought about the incident in years, but as she examined her cheek the following morning, her mother's lesson came back to her. Riley was grateful that the welt on her cheek had now been reduced to a small mark she could easily pass off as a burn from her hair straightener. She inwardly cringed as she thought about how easy it was to lie to her parents when they came home. She never lied to them. She considered herself very lucky to have a completely honest relationship with both of her parents—completely honest until now.

She was already in bed when they came entered her room. She carefully laid on her side so her mother could only see the unblemished side of her face. She told them she didn't feel very well, so Charlie went home and she decided to get some rest.

It wasn't a complete lie. Riley had felt completely out of it ever since it happened. Once her mother left her room, Riley leaned over her bed. Her hand brushed the hardwood floor until she felt the ice pack she quickly slid underneath the bed when she heard her parents come home. She prayed that the ice would reduce the swelling and wouldn't leave a mark. Fooling her parents was easy. She just prayed that she wouldn't be forced to try to fool Maya—again.

Now as she stood in front of her mirror, she reached for her concealer. A few dabs and she looked as good as new. She just wished that she felt that way. Her whole world felt completely different now. She thought that by telling Charlie about her indiscretion, she would gain some sort of clarity about everything. She would magically know how she felt about both guys and the world would somehow right itself again. Instead, she felt more upset about everything, maybe even a little depressed.

Charlie had smacked her. She spent the better part of her night thinking about those four words. Charlie. Her Charlie. The guy who was her first everything—well, almost everything. She trusted him. She confided in him. She told him things she never even told Maya. As weird and as disjointed as things became between them, she never thought she could ever do anything to make him react in that way to her.

But apparently she had. She pushed him to his limit. She saw that. She knew how he felt about Lucas. Ever since the day he walked into all of their lives, she knew Charlie felt threatened, worried, and annoyed by the new guy. And Riley had ignored his concerns. She decided to befriend Lucas despite her boyfriend's wishes—and Zay's wishes. She knew she was becoming more and more attracted to the guy, but instead of pushing him away like she should have, she simply gave into what she was feeling. She had become a version of herself that she never thought she would be—and Lucas was a part of that.

And so was Charlie.

'Hitting was wrong.' Riley knew that. But Riley also knew that cheating was wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right, but could she really blame her boyfriend for his reaction? He trusted her. He loved her. It was the first time he ever laid a hand on her—well, besides grabbing her arms that one time. It wasn't like Charlie beat her daily or anything. Could she really condemn him for that? Could she throw away her relationship with him over this one incident?

Riley didn't know the answer. When she was younger, everything was black and white—right or wrong. Now, everything was all muddled into this gray area. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to talk to someone about it, but she had no idea where or who to turn to. She knew no one would understand the situation. They would all just tell her to break up with him, but she wasn't convinced that was the answer. Should she walk away from a three-year relationship because of one mistake? Especially if she was the reason for it?

Riley examined her reflection after she applied the concealer. No one would ever notice it. And if it rubbed off over the course of the day, she had her excuse about the hair straightener lined up. She hated lying. She hated feeling like her world wasn't her own anymore. She wasn't sure who she was anymore. She wasn't sure who Charlie was. What should she do? She had no idea.

* * *

Lucas wasn't sure why she wasn't speaking to him or even looking at him. His body and mind felt so drained over the events of the past week. He broke up with Missy right after the party. Though he knew that he was always just wasting time with her, he realized that it wasn't right to string the girl along when all of this thoughts and feelings rested elsewhere. Unfortunately for him, the one he wanted to be with didn't even seem to recognize his existence.

She hadn't thrown so much as a glance in his direction following the after party. She seemed upset too. And it didn't seem like typical teenage girl stuff. She seemed…off. The normally vocal and outgoing student was suddenly quiet and reserved. She seemed jumpy too. It was starting to unnerve Lucas. What was going on with her? This seemed to start after the last performance, after she kissed him. Was the guilt eating at her? That had to be it. She was the kindest person he had ever met. Of course one kiss would make her fall apart. Lucas felt bad about it, but there was no way he would ever regret that moment. He dreamt about it every night. Even his daydreams consisted of those few precious moments with her in which Missy and Charlie didn't exist. It was just them.

As he waited for Mr. Matthews' class to start, he found himself brooding once again about the brunette. The way they had left it, she was going to take time to think about everything. He understood that. He didn't like it, but he understood. Riley was a good person and she had been with Charlie for a really long time. Those weren't feelings that anyone could quickly dismiss, but Lucas knew he deserved more than the cold shoulder from her. No, something else had to have happened.

As Farkle and Zay walked in to the classroom, Lucas's mind was still a million miles away. He didn't even look at the pair. Sure, he and Farkle had become friends, but Zay was still a different story. He wasn't in the mood to argue with his estranged best friend, so he just ignored them.

"Hey Lucas," Farkle greeted. He knew that Zay and Lucas weren't exactly friendly, but Farkle was tired of splitting time between the two of them. Maybe it was the fact that he had been friends with Riley so long, but Farkle just wanted peace between everyone. He couldn't understand how best friends could have that much animosity between them. He knew he had to try to fix it. Luckily, he had already devised the perfect plan.

It took Lucas a minute to register that someone had spoken to him. He looked over at the guys. "Hey." He was mildly surprised that Farkle spoke to him in front of Zay. He knew that Farkle had more loyalty to his former best friend. Their friendship had three years on the newly found friendship between Farkle and himself. He was well aware of the fact that Zay didn't want any of his friends to spend time with him. He was a terrible influence after all _—'troubled'_ was the word he heard Zay's mom use one time.

"So," Farkle began before he threw a backward glance at Zay, "Zay and I are going to play some video games at my place his afternoon. Want to come?" No backing out now. He had to get these two to mend their friendship. He liked both guys. He wanted to be able to hang out with both of them and not to have to choose which one to hang out with. It was ridiculous.

"Farkle, I don't think that's a good idea," Zay sighed. He had been a part of the group long enough to know when a scheme was being coordinated.

"Why not?"

"Zay and I aren't really…on good terms." Lucas shifted in his seat. He wasn't quite prepared for this conversation today. There was already so much on his mind. He didn't want to pile on awkward conversations with his former best friend.

Farkle looked at Zay before he looked back at Lucas. He decided to address Zay first. "Zay, Lucas is my friend. And you're my friend too. And I want to be able to hang out with my friends." He turned his attention to both of them. "Whatever happened in Texas, happened. Nothing will change that. Are you both really so stubborn as to miss out on what could happen in New York?" When neither answered, he sighed. "Well, I have four tvs and the new 'Zombies Eat Your Brains' game. Are you really going to turn that down?"

"That's not even out yet!" There was no way Farkle had that game. For the first time in a few weeks, Lucas's thoughts weren't centered on Riley. When he realized that a moment later, he started to consider his options. He needed a break from the complexity of his situation with her. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be around Zay? They wouldn't really have to talk to one another. They could just sit and play a game—a game that wasn't out yet. A game that was supposed to be the biggest game of the year.

Farkle nodded. He could tell that he piqued Lucas's interest. One down, one to go.

"Farkle's dad has this hookup," Zay explained to Lucas. "He gets all of these games like a month before they come out." Zay knew that Farkle knew that Zay was definitely going to be in. Zay had been looking forward to this game for months. It's not like he and Lucas were going to be forced to talk anyway. It was just some guys playing video games.

"I hear it's pretty intense," Farkle added for effect. He knew they were both on the edge of agreeing to it. They just needed that last nudge.

Zay and Lucas looked at one another. They had a history, for sure, but Farkle made two very good points. All of that was in the past. And he had a game that wasn't scheduled to come out for another month. No way Lucas was missing that. "I'm in."

Zay nodded. "Yeah, me too. You know I've waited months for this one."

Farkle mentally patted himself on the back. One step closer to them getting over whatever happened in Texas. "Good."

As Farkle and Zay slid into their seats, Lucas's thoughts turned back to Riley. "Is Charlie coming," Lucas found himself asking. He knew it was going to be awkward enough just being with Zay. He wasn't sure he could handle an afternoon with Charlie Gardener.

Farkle laughed. "No. I think he has basketball practice or something." As much as Farkle wanted everyone to get along, he was well aware of the fact that it was pretty much a lost cause between Charlie and Lucas. The play proved that much. Lucas had no respect for Charlie and vice versa. Farkle couldn't really blame Lucas though. Charlie was way out of line with some of the things he said. Ever since that heated exchange, Farkle hadn't really hung out with his best friend's boyfriend, not that he really did much of it before. He really only hung out with Charlie whenever he was with Riley. For some reason, Farkle never found much common ground with the guy. Truthfully, he didn't know much about him, which was a little strange considering he had known the guy for three years. Charlie just seemed reserved and not very open with anyone—except for Riley, but that was different. Riley could make anyone open up to her. Lucas was proof of that. Farkle wasn't sure what all they had talked about, but he saw the way Lucas was around her during play rehearsals. Their connection was undeniable. Maybe that's why Charlie didn't like Lucas? Maybe he felt threatened?

"Oh." Lucas leaned back in his seat as his thoughts turned back to Riley. He looked up at the doorway when he saw her walk in with Maya and Charlie. Maybe she was over whatever he thought they had? Maybe she had made her decision and just forgot to tell Lucas that she was going to stay with Charlie. God, he needed a break from all of this. This girl had completely taken hold of him and he couldn't shake her. The best he could hope for was a few hours of killing zombies with his only other friend in the school and his former best friend.


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N: If parts of this chapter make no sense, I apologize. I kept getting interrupted every time I tried to polish this up. Forgive the length, I know it's long, but there was no where for me to cut it.**_

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

He tried to text her. He tried to call her. He tried to corner her in the hallways at school. Nothing seemed to work. Riley refused to speak to him. At first, he thought he could just forget the whole thing. He thought he could move on with someone who actually wanted to be with him, but the harder he tried to forget his Juliet, the more she seemed to haunt him. After three weeks of pure torture, he had enough of it. He knew his plan was insane and could seriously be considered stalking, but he didn't care. She wasn't talking to him, so he had to do the only thing he could think of.

He climbed the fire escape two steps at a time. He was careful not to make much noise as it was fairly early in the morning and the last thing he wanted was for his history teacher to find him sneaking around outside of his daughter's room. He initially took a wild guess as to which room was hers, but now, as he stood in front of her window, he noticed the flowers and butterfly drapes. This was definitely Riley's room.

He lightly tapped on her window for a few moments. When she didn't stir, he decided to see if the window would open. For some strange reason, it was unlocked. He briefly considered his options. This was definitely breaking and entering. If she was really mad at him, he could be in serious trouble if she alerted her parents to his presence. Even if she didn't, he knew she would think he was completely crazy for just coming into her room like this. He tried to dismiss both thoughts: he was already here and he had to talk to her. He felt like he was going insane and he knew if he could just have one conversation with her, it would allow him to just move on from everything. He took a deep breath as he slid into her room. When he turned to close the window, he realized just how ridiculous this whole plan seemed. She made it perfectly clear by her silence that she didn't want to talk to him. Just as he made the decision to leave, he heard her whimper.

He quickly spun around at the heartbreaking sound. It looked like she was still asleep, but with the way her face was scrunched up into a frown; he could tell she was having a nightmare. She started writhing on the bed, her whimpers and moans getting louder and louder. Then he heard her yell "STOP" as she shot up, instantly waking herself up.

Riley's heart felt like it was in her throat. She didn't even notice the other person in the room as she tried to calm herself down. She brought her knees to her chest as she rested her head on them, her arms wrapped around herself. She took a few deep breaths as she tried to forget the nightmare that woke her up.

When she moved her head, she noticed him out of the corner of her eye. Was she dreaming? She blinked twice before she pulled the covers up around herself. "Lucas," she whispered. She looked around the room. "What are you doing here?"

He swallowed as he realized he couldn't back out now. He hadn't really thought about what he was going to say when he saw her. Truthfully, he thought he would be able to talk himself out of actually doing it when he started to climb the fire escape, but no—his stupid heart won out over his head—a nasty habit that had started when he met the confused brunette in front of him. "I…I needed to see you." It was the truth. He was prepared to settle in for another restless night with Riley swimming through his mind, but after twenty-four days of not speaking to one another, he realized that he had finally reached his limit. He knew this was crazy. He just hoped he would get an answer before the police carted him away and Riley got a restraining order filed against him.

"At," she looked over at the clock by her bed, "4 in the morning?" Her brain was still a little fuzzy from her sudden jolt back to reality. Was he really here right now? In her bedroom? In the middle of the night?

He cringed. He wasn't fully aware of the time when he snuck out. He just couldn't take another sleepless night. "I'm sorry. I know it's late, it's just that…I _needed_ to see you."

Riley frowned. "What's wrong?" Yes, she had stayed away from him after the play ended. The rumors about him and Missy, the idea that he was just trying to seduce her, not to mention her own drama with her boyfriend had driven her to the brink of madness. She had no idea what to say to Lucas about any of it. She wanted to confront him about it, but what good would it do?

"Everything," he said truthfully.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She gestured for him to sit down at the foot of her bed. Yes, she had been avoiding him, but Riley would never not speak to someone if they needed to talk, and she could tell that something was bothering Lucas. As he walked towards her, she remembered that not long ago, she had a dream that began just like this. She felt her heart quicken its pace and color rise to her cheeks as she thought about what else happened in that dream.

"Why won't you talk to me," he asked as he sat on the bed. He didn't meet her gaze. Instead, he simply looked toward the window he had just entered through. He thought climbing through that window would be the scariest thing he'd ever do. As he tried to gather his thoughts, he realized that he would have to, once again, put his heart out there. He could try to lie, but he knew that Riley would see right through him, and truth be told, he didn't want to lie to her. "I understand that you don't want to be with me and that you'd rather…" he sighed, "…you'd rather be with him. I don't blame you. He is better for you than I ever could be." He hated to admit it, but he knew it was true. Charlie was like Captain America or something. Every father's dream for his daughter. And Lucas was just…the villain. The guy fathers warned their daughters about.

Riley shook her head. "Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true. I mean, if you actually thought that…then we'd be together by now," his eyes drifted over to where she sat as he finally dared himself to look her in the eye. Even in the middle of the night, with sleep-tousled hair, she looked like a vision. "Right?"

Thank God she was sitting down. They hadn't made eye contact in weeks. She forgot how he had this way of making her feel weak in the knees with just a look. No wonder she dreamt about him most nights. Nevertheless, she had given into that temptation once before and the memory of the consequences she faced as a result of that spontaneous decision still haunted her. "Lucas," she sighed as she broke eye contact with him, "There are a lot of reasons why we aren't…why I haven't…why we aren't together."

"Name one," he challenged. He felt his confidence growing as he watched her shift uncomfortably under his gaze. The memories of the play and their conversation in the closet flashed through his mind. She knew they had a connection. It was undeniable. Why was she so scared of it? Was it him? Was it—

"Missy." She tried to act nonchalantly about it, but she knew as soon as the name left her mouth, she sounded jealous. If she were ever honest with herself, she would discover that she was insanely jealous of the head cheerleader, and not because of her status in the Roosevelt High social ladder. It was because she had _him_.

"Missy doesn't mean anything to me." Why couldn't Riley see that? Didn't anything he said in the costume closet mean anything to her? He was driving himself crazy over her, but she still thought that Missy meant something to him?

"That's not what I heard." The words left her mouth before she realized what she said. She didn't want to bring up that nasty rumor. She just wanted him to talk to her about what was bothering him and then they both could just move on. She didn't want to know the details about his tryst with Missy Bradford.

Lucas furrowed his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

Riley shook her head as she debated on whether or not to tell him that she knew about Missy and him. It wasn't her place to be upset about it, but she couldn't help it. He led her to believe that he had real feelings for her "I know what the other week of detention was for."

Lucas looked down. He wanted to talk to her about that, but he knew that it would only drive her further away. He honestly didn't think she would find out about what happened, but he clearly underestimated the rumor mill at school.

She had to know. She didn't care how jealous she sounded. She had to know the details so she could just move on with her life. "You were going to sleep with her in the principal's car, weren't you?" She could feel her heart beat quicken as she waited for his response. Part of her wanted him to admit to it. It would make her life a lot easier. A bigger part of her wanted him to deny the whole thing. Riley waited a few moments for Lucas to answer her. When he didn't, she mistook his silence for confirmation. Her heart sunk into her stomach. She felt sick. "Lucas…just go."

"I wasn't going to sleep with her." It all made sense now. That was why she was avoiding him. She heard an exaggerated rumor about what happened between Missy and him and instead of talking to him about it, she decided to believe what she heard. Frustration quickly built up inside of him. For three weeks he wracked his brain as he tried to think about what he did to make her mad at him. It wasn't the kiss that did it. It was this stupid rumor.

"They why?" She heard her voice crack as her emotions began to betray her. No. She had no right to get upset about this. _'Angry, yes. Get angry. Sad? No.'_ She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry about this. "Why did you do that?"

He looked away, his frustration immediately dissipated. His reasons for being caught with Missy were simple, but was he ready to admit it to Riley?

"You wanted to talk," Riley went on as she managed to keep her emotions in check. While he was here, while they were talking about it, she realized she had to know everything about this. She knew it would make things easier. "So talk to me."

He thought about leaving at that moment. He was tired of putting himself on the line just to be rejected by her. He had to thank the gossips at school for forcing him to be honest with her. "I just…wanted to feel…something…anything. I wanted to…" he swallowed, "I wanted to forget about you." He clenched his fists as his confession hung in the air between them. He knew it was disgusting, but it was the truth. And Riley wanted the truth. He knew that when she realized he used Missy to forget about her that she would completely dismiss him from her life. "I knew that being with Missy would ruin any sort of…God…Riley, you deserve so much better. I'm not good for you…and you know that. And I know it too, but I can't help it…I'm just pulled to you. I've tried to forget about you. You deserve the whole world and someone who could give it to you."

Riley was taken aback by his confession. _'He was with Missy because he wanted to push me away?'_ "Lucas…I—"

He couldn't bear to hear her reject him again. "I know you're with him." He let out a soft, bitter chuckle. "I honestly don't know why, but if he's what makes you happy, then that's all I can ask for."

"It's…complicated." She closed her eyes as she realized that her entire situation just got even more complicated. She tried so hard to simplify it. She tried to ignore it. But everything just slammed back into her with more ferocity than she ever imagined. "H-He needs me."

"Riley, _I_ need you." Lucas Friar had never needed anyone in his life, except for his mom, but this was different. Those three weeks without talking to her were pure torture for him. He hated that someone else held the key to his head and his heart.

"No, you don't. Your world isn't going to stop if we don't get together."

She really had no idea how much he cared about her. Maybe it was better that way. Still, he couldn't help but try to correct her. "No, but my heart might."

They were both silent as Lucas's words echoed in Riley's mind. Was this really happening? Her mind wandered to her boyfriend. Things hadn't gotten worse with Charlie, but they hadn't exactly gotten better. "I'm scared, Lucas."

Those were three words that Lucas never wanted to hear from her. "Of what? Of me?"

Riley knew that Lucas had opened himself up to her. She knew that it was only fair that she do the same, but she wasn't at all ready to talk about what had been going on with her. She knew he wouldn't understand any of it. She also knew that he had a reputation as being a hot head and the last thing she wanted was to make him mad. "I'm scared of a lot of things…you aren't one of them. This is just…it's just so hard."

He frowned. "What is?"

She tugged at her blanket as she sat up further so she could cross her legs. Riley knew she talked with her hands a lot, especially when she was speaking about something that was important to her. It was a way for her to try to get her point across more effectively. She knew before she opened her mouth to speak that she was about to wave her hands around like a mad woman. "I've been with this guy for three years, and he tells me that I'm his world, but then this other guy just comes into my life when I wasn't expecting anything and suddenly, he's making me question everything." She gestured to the space around her room, the stress of the last several weeks finally spilling out of her. "You know…I thought I knew what it all meant…being with someone…caring about them…what feelings really meant, but with you…my head and my heart get so tangled up." Why was she doing this? Why was she just making things more complicated? Once she started, she found herself unable to stop talking. She dropped her hands into her lap as she ceased her erratic movements. She looked down. Her hands were slightly trembling, but she couldn't stop now. "Can I tell you a secret?"

He swallowed as he noticed that her hands were shaking. "Absolutely."

She ran a hand through her tangled locks as she tried to figure out how to tell him about her dream guy. She knew she'd have to tell him the whole story for any of it to make sense. "Four years ago…I had this dream. I mean it's stupid really, but Maya and I were on the subway on the way to school and we saw this guy…and he's cute and all that, but it was so much more than just an attraction. It was this feeling that I had when I saw him. It was like 'ok, this is who I'm meant to be with'. When I first saw you, I could've sworn that you were him. I…I had that same feeling…that maybe what I feel for Charlie isn't what it should be. And then I got to know you," she laughed lightly, "And I started to think that maybe I got it all wrong again, but…then we talked in the library, and that feeling came back to me again. The feeling that I was exactly where I should be…but then after that night, we went back not really speaking or anything…and then the play happened and it just made me even more confused. And then I find out about Missy and the car and…" She knew she was rambling. She stopped for a moment so she could try to compose her erratic thoughts. "I don't know you. I don't know the real you at all. How can I figure anything out if I don't know which you is the real you: the guy who grew up on a farm and loves animals and wants to be a veterinarian or…or the guy who gets into fights for no reason and takes girls to random people's cars to do…whatever."

He knew he deserved that. He didn't know who he was anymore either. How could he expect for Riley to know? "What if I'm somewhere in between? I'm not a good guy, Riley. I'm sure Zay told you what happened."

"No," she shook her head. "He hasn't said one word about what happened to you guys in Texas. And believe me, I've asked."

"That's…not important right now."

"So, what is?"

"You are," he confessed. "All I want is for you to be happy, Riley. Are you happy?"

Riley absent-mindedly reached up to touch her cheek. Happiness. What was that? She wasn't even sure anymore what that meant. She knew that she was scared. Scared to do anything. Scared to tell anyone what happened. Maybe it was just a one-time thing. And she couldn't say that she didn't deserve it. She had cheated on her boyfriend with the guy who had taken a page out of Romeo's playbook and snuck into her bedroom at 4 in the morning. "I'm fine," she lied.

"That wasn't what I asked."

"You're hiding yourself from me, why can't I do the same?" She sighed. Her feelings for the guy across from her were confusing on it's own, let alone add in every other variable that she was currently trying to handle in her life. "Lucas, I think you need to go."

He frowned. They were in the middle of a conversation and she was just going to dismiss him? "Riley, what are you—"

"You need to go." 'Before I do something I might regret,' she thought to herself. She wasn't sure what she was going to do. Scream at him, kiss him again, or worse…tell him everything that had been going on with her. She didn't want to drag him into her mess. She watched as he silently stood up and walked over to the window. She couldn't let him go like this. "Hey, Lucas?"

He turned to her. "Yeah?"

She looked around her room, embarrassed about the question she was about to ask. "Are you…still…with Missy?" Why? Why did she care so much about this?

He shook his head.

She nodded. Well, at least that rumor was true. _'But what about the other one?'_ "So…who are you going out with?"

Lucas turned to fully face her. "No one."

Riley frowned. _'So that rumor wasn't true? He wasn't seeing some other junior girl?'_ "That's not what I heard."

"So, you're going to believe what everyone else is saying?" He took a few steps back toward her. He knew she wanted him to leave, but he had to make her understand that if she wanted to know something about him, all she had to do was ask. "Riley, just ask me about what's going on. Don't believe what everyone else is saying."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "How do I know that you aren't messing with me?"

"You're going to have to trust me."

"Like you trust me? Lucas, I feel like I need to know who you are before I…before I even know how to process what I'm feeling."

"Ok." He gestured to the bed. She nodded before he sat back down in front of her. "Zay and I…we have a past." He wasn't really prepared to talk about this with her, but he knew that she was right. She needed to be able to trust him. That meant he had to be completely honest with her. "We were like brothers for probably as long as Maya and you have known one another. We both came from similar backgrounds, same interests…except for our family lives. Zay had two parents who loved him and each other more than everything; while I had…I mean…my mom is the best. The…the reason we moved to New York was because she finally decided to leave him."

Riley was surprised that he was opening up to her. Maybe he did want her to trust him and to believe him. "Why?"

"He abused her." Lucas couldn't help but clench his fists at the mere thought of that man touching his mother. "For as long as I can remember. Everything she did was wrong. She couldn't even leave the house without him beating her up, accusing her of cheating on him. All she did was to try to go to the grocery store to get food, to make dinner." Lucas let out a long breath. "I figured that if I acted out, it would take some of the heat off of her because he'd be too busy letting me have it. I felt like I could take anything he dished out as long as I knew she was safe." He looked over at Riley who had tears swimming in her eyes. "You'd love my mom, Riley. She's the nicest…" he trailed off. "Sorry."

"Why?" She sniffed as she felt tears forming in her eyes. "I'd love to meet her."

Lucas brightened slightly at her words. She wanted to meet his mother? "You would?"

She nodded. "She sounds pretty amazing."

"She is," Lucas couldn't help but smile, even as he told Riley about his painful childhood. His mother had been his whole world, the only woman he had ever really cared about…until Riley. "So…I started getting detention after detention. I became a regular in the principal's office. Zay knew what I was doing, but he was the only one. I just…wanted the attention away from my mom."

Riley took a deep breath as she tried to stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks at what he was telling her. "So, what happened?"

"I realized that it was working, so I just…kept doing things…worse things. I started fighting, skipping school, cheating on tests that I already knew the answers to. It finally got to the point that Zay's parents told him that he couldn't hang out with me anymore. And…" Lucas shrugged, "he didn't."

Riley frowned. That didn't sound like the Zay she had come to know over the last few years. The Zay she knew would have tried to figure out a way to maintain his friendship with Lucas. "But he knew that you were doing it because—"

Lucas nodded. "Yeah. I just became so twisted into what I was doing that I started to believe that it was the real me. Zay tried to still hang out with me, tried to get me to be the person I was before it all, but I just started to push him away instead. It was easier if I was just…angry all the time. Once I got suspended, he stopped trying to pull me back."

"Why were you suspended?"

"Zay was getting picked on. By that point, I was just looking for a fight…someone to take everything out on since I couldn't do it with…my dad…so I beat the hell out of the kid. Zay saw the whole thing. Tried to stop me, but I just…blacked out." He was quiet for a moment as he tried to chase the memories of that day out of his mind. "Soon after, he moved to New York. I was truly alone."

They were both silent for a long time as Riley tried to take in everything. It was as if the last pieces of the puzzle that was Lucas Friar finally clicked into place. It all made sense to Riley now—why he seemed to act like Jekyll and Hyde with her, why he kept everyone away at arm's length. "Why did you move to New York?"

"My mom got a divorce." He smiled as he recalled the day she told him that they were free of his father's tyranny. "She wanted a fresh start…for both of us. I don't think she knew that I was just completely…gone. She still sees the best in me. I don't even know why."

"I do."

He looked up at her. "You do?" He found it hard to believe that after everything he just said, and after all of the things she heard about him, that she could possibly believe that there was good in him.

"She probably knows why you did what you did. You were protecting her. And now she's here, away from him, so she's giving you the chance to be who you really are." She leaned forward and placed her hand on top of his. She needed him to see that he was exactly who his mother saw him as. "You don't have to pretend anymore, Lucas. You're safe. You both are."

Lucas had never cried over anything that happened to him. He always channeled that pain into his rage, but at that moment, with the kindest person he had ever met telling him that it was ok, that he could actually be who he wanted to be, he couldn't help the tears that formed in his eyes. "What if I'm not that person anymore?"

"You are. I know you are. I've seen it, remember?"

"No one's ever…"he swallowed, "understood me. Not even Zay." He felt his walls come down. It had happened before around her, but this time felt different. For the first time in years, he actually felt free—truly free from his father's wrath, from who he thought he had to be in order to protect his mother. Could he really change?

Riley pulled her hand away from him as she leaned back against her headboard, her thoughts returning to her current plight. "Lucas?"

He looked at her. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For what? Waking you up at 4 in the morning?"

"For trusting me." All she had wanted in the last few weeks was some sort of clarity about her life. And she felt like she was starting to see what was going on around her. And she gained it from the last person she thought she would, at the most unbelievable hour. It was weird the way life worked out sometimes.

"I want you to trust me. I figured the best way would be to trust you." He knew she was still hiding something from him, but he also knew that he could wait for her to tell him. If there was one thing he had learned from the last four years, it was that sometimes secrets needed to be kept for just a little longer. He wanted to gain her trust more than anything else. He was more than willing to wait until she was ready to open up to him.

"You don't have to hide who you are or who you want to be anymore," she smiled. "You can have real friends here."

He chuckled. "Actually, I think I already have a few."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Oh, really?"

"Don't act so surprised, _princess_ ," he teased before he chuckled once more. "Farkle and I have been hanging out some."

Riley wrinkled her nose. "Farkle?" That was…unexpected.

"Yeah." They had actually hung out quite a few times since he went over to Farkle's place two weeks earlier. "What's even more surprising is that Zay and I have hung out a few times too."

Riley grinned. "Really?" She briefly wondered why she didn't know anything about this, but honestly, her mind had been so fixed on her own life that if either guy mentioned it to her, she was certain it went in one ear and out the other.

"Yeah. It felt just like old times." He smiled. He never thought that Zay and him would ever be able to get over their differences, but for some strange reason, they both just moved past it.

"Have you two talked about what happened?"

Lucas shook his head. "Guys don't really open up like that. We just sort of start over." He looked over at her just in time to see her yawn. He smiled. Even sleepy, she was simply breathtaking. He stood up. "I should let you get some sleep."

Riley watched him walk over to her window. "Lucas?"

He turned to her. "Yeah?"

"You have me too, you know."

The corner of the left side of his mouth lifted into a half smile that immediately seemed to hypnotize Riley. "I know…now."

Riley watched as he left her room, closing the window behind him. Once he had completely disappeared from her view, she sunk back further into her pillows. She glanced over at her alarm clock. _5:30._ It didn't matter what time it was. She knew she wasn't going to get back to sleep. She had a lot on her mind, but for the first time in weeks, her thoughts didn't seem as nearly as muddled as before.

* * *

 _ **A/N: I know the writers have said that Lucas does have a normal family, but this is an AU so I didn't feel like it was too awful to do since we haven't met his parents yet. Sorry if you were let down by that reveal.**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N: I probably should have held off on posting this, because I have been battling food poisoning for the last few days, so as I was re-reading this, I felt like I was talking in circles. I'm so sorry if it comes off like that. I did borrow some dialogue from GMW (as I try to do when situations call for it, since this is a GMW fanfic even though it's AU).**_

* * *

 __Chapter Sixteen

Riley sat alone at her mother's bakery the next afternoon. She watched as couples passed in and out of the semi-hectic space. She noticed some NYU students studying. She reached for her phone to check the time. _'Any minute now.'_ She had been in so much inner turmoil for the last several weeks, but she now felt eerily calm and peaceful about everything. She was obviously nervous about meeting up with him, but when she realized why she specifically asked him to meet her at her mom's café, a public place, she realized that she was definitely making the right decision. She was afraid of him. Afraid of what he would do. Afraid of how he would react to everything she had to tell him.

Her heart stopped when she heard the door open. She didn't even have to look up to know that he was there. _'Right on time.'_

"Hey."

She took a deep breath and turned her head to face him. "Hey Charlie." As she watched him walk over to her, she felt the now too familiar warning signals go off in her head. Those signals had been implanted into her brain ever since he smacked her. She just wasn't able to figure out what exactly they were until an unexpected late night conversation with a friend.

"So," he laughed nervously as he sat down next to her, "What's going on?" Charlie could tell as soon as he walked into the café that Riley wasn't happy. Normally she would greet him with a smile. This time, she seemed to be a million miles away. _'She's probably thinking about him,'_ he thought bitterly. Why couldn't his normally brilliant girlfriend figure out that Lucas wasn't worth the pain and drama inflicted on their otherwise perfect relationship?

' _He gets right to the point,'_ Riley mused. Couldn't he tell that she was struggling with this? Why couldn't they ease into this conversation? _'Because that would be too easy.'_ "Charlie…I…we need to talk."

"I figured when you said, 'hey Charlie, we need to talk.' So…what is it?" His nervousness grew with every passing word. He swallowed as he waited for her next words. Her body language suggested this was more serious than he initially thought. He noticed that she began to fidget with her hands. She didn't look at him. She instead chose to look directly at the ground. Riley seemed anxious…more anxious than Charlie had ever seen her.

She looked around the semi crowded café. She really didn't want to do this here, but she felt that he left her with no other option. She was afraid of repercussions for what she was about to say. She bit her lip as she tried to remember the speech she had thought about all day. None of those words seemed fitting anymore now that she was sitting next to the guy she had been with for the last three years. She just needed to be honest. "I think…I think we need to stop this."

Charlie frowned. "Stop what?"

She looked over at him, but still avoided eye contact. "I think…we need to break up, Charlie."

"Break up?" He must've heard her wrong. There was no way she was doing this. Not now. Not here. Not ever.

She still couldn't look him in the eye. She was afraid if she looked at him and saw anger or-even worse-sadness, that she would back peddle from doing what she knew she had to do. Riley Matthews was always a people pleaser. She'd do anything to make anyone happy. One thing she was starting to learn was that sometimes you had to put your own happiness and health above others. She knew she had to do this. "What we have…it isn't right anymore. Not for you…and not for me."

"What are you talking about?" Was this really happening right now? She was breaking up with him—in her mother's bakery of all places. He looked around. Did everyone hear her? Were they all watching the show? Did she do this to intentionally humiliate him? Was this his punishment for his one indiscretion for which he already apologized about a thousand times for? This had to all be a joke or a nightmare, right?

Riley lowered her voice. "Charlie, you know what I'm talking about, ok?" She didn't want a scene. She didn't want anyone else to hear them. She didn't want him to be humiliated, but she also didn't trust him enough to do this in private.

He had to figure out a way to talk her out of doing this—and fast. She still wasn't looking at him. Maybe she didn't know how sorry he was about the whole situation that happened? "Riley, you know I didn't mean what happened, don't you?"

Riley decided to ignore his question, because she honestly didn't know the answer to it. "You aren't happy Charlie. I'm not happy. I just want us to be able to remain friends. I don't want things to get out of hand." There. It was out there. She couldn't take those words back, and she realized quickly that she didn't want to.

"We just hit a rough patch. It's bound to happen when we've been together for as long as we have. I love you. When you love someone, you want to try to make it work, right? Riley, you have no idea how much I love you. All couples go through hard times. Just let me make it up to you." He had to get her to see that he was perfect for her. They were perfect together. Everything bad that happened between them for the last few months was because of Lucas Friar. It wasn't because of them.

One thing Riley realized over the last several weeks was that if she wasn't happy in their relationship, she knew Charlie couldn't possibly be happy. She realized that it felt like she was drowning whenever she was with him or even thought about him. It was emotionally draining trying to make someone happy who just wasn't. She knew he had to feel the same way about her. She couldn't make him happy. She knew that now. "Everything you say makes sense, Charlie."

"Is that enough?" He didn't like the way she said that. It didn't sound like she was letting go of this ridiculous idea of them breaking up. It sounded more like she was saying goodbye to him.

Riley took a steady breath. "No. It's not. You know it." She looked around the room once more. Some people were by themselves; some were with their significant other. She looked at one couple in particular whom Riley could have sworn that they thought they were the only ones on the planet. She knew that she had never felt that way with Charlie. She realized that she was missing out. And if she was missing out, he was too. "A good relationship needs more. You deserve more." She finally dared herself to look at him, her mind set on going through with this. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He was in complete shock over the whole thing. The last thing he expected was to get dumped at his girlfriend's mother's restaurant. He knew they both hadn't been happy for a while and that he lashed out at her a few times, but he still thought that they could make it through—that they could survive the hurricane named Lucas who seemed to wreak havoc throughout their lives. "Riley?"

"Yeah?"

"You aren't…you aren't breaking up with me in order to be with him, right?" He knew he sounded desperate, jealous even. He could handle taking a break if it meant her realizing that they were perfect for one another. He couldn't handle it if she left him for Friar.

Riley knew he would ask. She even asked herself the same question more than once. She didn't know where they stood with one another. She wasn't sure what their future held, if anything. She didn't want to break up with Charlie just to fall into the arms of someone else. She wanted to do it because it was the right thing for her to do. "I'm not doing this to be with anyone else, Charlie. I just need to figure myself out. What we have…isn't healthy…for either one of us."

He looked at her for a long moment as he tried to come up with any reason to get her to stay with him. He could tell that her mind was made up about it. It didn't mean he would give up so easily. It just meant that he would have to let her go—for now. "I'll wait for you, Riley. Until you're ready."

"Charlie, I'm not going to ask you to do that. I think we both need a clean break." She wasn't sure if she was actually getting her point across to him or not. She didn't want to be blunt with him, but she also wanted him to make sure that he understood what she wanted out of this conversation.

"A clean break?"

Riley nodded, relieved that he seemed to understand what she was trying to tell him. "I want us both to be happy again. And we aren't. Not with the way things have been going."

"Can we still be friends?"

Riley gave him a smile. "Absolutely." She wasn't expecting that response from him, but she was more than happy to accept his offer.

* * *

As Riley laid awake that night, she couldn't help but analyze everything that happened over the last few days. She wanted to tell Lucas how much the 4am conversation meant to her. How she realized that she couldn't make excuses for how Charlie had been acting towards her. She had read and heard about abusive relationships her whole life, but to hear it from a victim of that abuse made her realize that she was finding herself in that very position. True, Charlie had never actually beat her, but smacking her, shaking her, bruising her were all abusive actions. She actually tried to convince herself that they were all her fault, but after talking to Lucas, she understood that it wasn't her fault at all. That conversation also helped her realize that her relationship with Charlie had turned into a toxic one. She still wasn't sure what she wanted from Lucas, but she knew things had to end with Charlie. It was the only way to reclaim her sanity.

The attraction she felt, the connection she felt with Lucas was undeniable. At the same time, she didn't know him that well. He had put on a façade for everyone at the school ever since he arrived. Yes, she saw flashes of the person she thought he was, but nothing consistent. She was hopeful that their conversation would be the beginning of a trusting friendship between them. She was completely honest when she told Charlie that she wasn't leaving him for Lucas. The decision to break up with him had to be what was best for her. It was simple. She didn't like the way Charlie spoke to her. She didn't like the way he touched her. She found herself cringing whenever he was in close proximity to her. Every kiss felt dishonest. Every romantic feeling she thought she had for him had dissolved. She wasn't sure when it happened. Maybe Maya was right. Maybe she just went on a first date with him and the date never ended. That didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that she ended it. Yes, she was sad about it. Who wouldn't be? It was a three-year relationship. They did have some great times together, but Riley also remembered that the first feeling she felt when Charlie left the bakery was relief. She was no longer afraid to be alone with him. She wasn't afraid to say the wrong thing, look at the wrong person, talk to someone Charlie didn't like. She was finally free to be herself.

For the first time in a long time, Riley took a deep breath and smiled. She was ready to face tomorrow and whatever happened next.

She wanted to be strong, just like Lucas's mom.


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: I know that this might be getting a little dry, but stick with me.**_

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

It's amazing how quickly news travels. The next morning, the halls of Roosevelt High were abuzz with the news of Riley and Charlie's breakup. Normally those discussions were only given the attention of an hour or two, but considering Riley and Charlie were the couple who had been together the longest in the whole school, people couldn't help but continue to speculate about the reasons for the breakup well past the normal two hour rule.

Riley hated every second of it. For some reason, most people thought Charlie was the one to break up with her, so she constantly had people she barely knew come up to her and ask her how she was holding up with everything going on. She was cordial at first, but by the time she reached her father's class, she was completely over it. As she walked in, she immediately noticed Maya leaning against Farkle's desk, the two apparently in deep discussion. She lifted her eyebrows in surprise when she noticed Maya lean in and brush some of his hair out of his eyes. Riley cleared her throat. "What's going on?"

Caught completely off guard, Maya quickly stood up and spun around to face her best friend. "Nothing," she quickly replied.

Riley furrowed her eyebrows. Was Maya blushing? With Farkle? She looked between the two for a moment, before she smiled. "Riiiiiiiiiight," she chuckled as she slid into her seat.

"So," Maya began as she walked back to her desk, "How are you doing?"

"Wishing people would stop asking that question," she replied curtly. She sighed as soon as she heard her tone. "Sorry. It's just…been a weird day." She hated snapping at Maya, but it was just a knee jerk reaction at this point. She was so tired of that question. If one more person asked her that today, she was sure that her head was going to completely explode.

"I bet. I mean it's been three-" Maya stopped mid sentence when she noticed Charlie enter the room. She looked at Riley, who looked at Charlie. When Riley gave Charlie a smile, Maya relaxed. She didn't know the full details for the breakup, but Riley did tell her that Charlie wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea. While Maya felt that was a perfectly normal reaction to a breakup, she knew her best friend. Riley couldn't stand the thought of anyone being mad at her. She knew that if Charlie continued to be upset about the whole thing, Riley would do anything in her power to make him happy—even if that meant getting back together with him. She wasn't sure what finally sent her best friend over the edge, but Maya was hopeful that the breakup would stick. She could already tell that Riley seemed more herself, despite her current agitation over being constantly asked how she was holding up.

Charlie said nothing as he slid into his seat on the other side of Riley. As soon as he did, he looked up to see Lucas Friar in the doorway. He was well aware of the fact that the whole school knew about the breakup. There was no possible way that Friar didn't know. Charlie watched as Lucas's eyes ticked from him to Riley. He couldn't help but to look over at his now ex-girlfriend. Sadly, he wasn't surprised to see that her eyes were locked on Friar's. 'Didn't leave me for him, huh,' he bitterly thought as he watched them stare at one another. Was he really going to have to sit there and watch this?

Riley debated whether or not to tell Lucas about the break up right after it happened. She knew that if she did, she would be doing the exact thing she told herself she wouldn't do. She wasn't going to run from one relationship into another one. She wasn't going to break up with Charlie over some other guy. She was doing this for herself. She still had a lot of things to sort out in her life, not to mention that she had to admit to herself that she was excited about the prospect of making a decision without needing to consult with someone on it. As she looked at Lucas, she could tell that he seemed confused, hurt, and relieved all at once. She knew they would have to talk about it. She needed him to understand that she still needed some time. She wanted to try to be friends with him before things could even begin to progress into something more.

Lucas wasn't sure if the rumors were true or not. Was this all some sort of dream? Was it a case of wishing for something so much and so deeply that it actually came true?

Maya looked between all three of them and was suddenly grateful for her lack of a love life. It seemed too complicated, too messy, and not at all worth it. She looked behind Riley at Farkle, who seemed to be engrossed by the obvious tension between the three teens. Maya knew something was starting to change between her and Farkle. She wasn't sure what it was. They had always been close, and he had always claimed to love her and Riley the same, but something was different now. Ever since Smackle broke up with him a year earlier, Farkle seemed different. He was still the smartest guy she had ever met, but they seemed to have more in common now. He always respected Maya, knew she was more than what she thought of herself. He pushed her to do well in school, a feat she thought no one would be able to do. She knew her feelings for him were changing into something she hadn't quite experienced with anyone other than…Josh. She frowned.

' _Joshua Matthews.'_ She knew that any chance at a romance with Riley's uncle was hopeless, at least for the time being. He had a serious girlfriend for well over a year now, and Maya knew she had to pick up the pieces of her heart and move on. She spent four years caring about him and even though they had established a friendship, she found herself wanting more from him, but he insisted that the three-year age difference between them was insurmountable. Once he started dating Charlotte, Maya knew she had to just move on. If they were meant to be, then they would be, but she wasn't going to put her life on hold for the guy.

When Farkle looked over at Maya, Maya's heart fluttered. She began to fear that maybe she wasn't going to be lucky enough as to not get involved with this love stuff.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Maya and Riley worked on their homework in the latter's room. Riley was perfectly content with working on chemistry homework as she tried to put the day's events out of her mind. She looked over at Maya, who actually seemed to be studying for once. Maybe she was trying to get her mind off of something too? "Maya?"

"Hmm?" Maya didn't even look up from her math book as she waited for her best friend to speak. She couldn't believe she was actually working on her assignments. Sure, she did her homework, but it was usually five minutes before class, not five minutes after class.

Riley tapped her pen on her notebook as she tried to figure out the best way to begin the conversation. When she couldn't think of anything, she figured that she might as well just be direct. "What's going on with you and Farkle?"

Maya stopped writing mid equation. She should have known that Riley would be curious about what she saw. She just figured that the now curious brunette in front of her would be too distracted by her own little soap opera to remember. "What are you talking about?"

"You were sitting on his desk before class. You were both laughing—flirting even. Are you two…" she let her words trail off simply because she wasn't sure how to even end the question. Were they dating? Was she trying to rope him into doing something for her? Was he just flirting like normal? So many different scenarios ran through Riley's mind about what she had witnessed just a few hours ago.

"No," Maya shook her head. "You totally have it all wrong, Riles, I—" she looked over at her best friend. She knew she couldn't lie to Riley. She was never good at it, and truthfully, she didn't want to. They always shared everything with one another. Maya wasn't about to lie now. "Maybe," she finally confessed. "It's just very new and I don't even know if he likes me."

Riley giggled at the ridiculousness of Maya's statement. "He loves you, Maya."

"He loves you, too." As much as Maya always loved the fact that Farkle never seemed to favor one over the other, lately Maya had began to wonder if that was even true. He and Riley had always connected on so many other levels that she sometimes felt left out. It never bothered her, at least not until these feelings started to form.

"Yeah, but it's different with me. We're like brother and sister, Maya. With you two, it's always been a little different."

"So, what should I do?"

Riley gave her an encouraging smile. "Talk to him."

Maya chuckled. "Oh that's great advice coming from someone who didn't even tell the guy she likes that she's single."

She hated it when Maya turned her advice around on her. "You know why I did that. I need to just be Riley for a little while. What was I going to tell him?"

"How about—" Maya turned her head when she heard a knock on the window.

Riley glanced at the window only to see the topic of their conversation standing there. "Oh my God."

Maya looked back at Riley. "He knows where you live?"

Riley nodded. "He walked me home after play practice one night." _'And came in my room at 4 in the morning one time,'_ she added as an after thought.

"And that requires him to know which room is yours?" Maya raised an eyebrow at Riley as she walked over to the window. "There is something more to this story that you aren't telling me, but you are definitely going to fill me in later." She lifted the window. "What's going on, cowboy?"

He ignored Maya as he climbed into Riley's room for the second time that week. Once he stood up, he looked squarely at Riley as he tried to compose his thoughts. He was angry—and hopeful. It made for very confusing and mixed emotions. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Riley wasn't ready for this conversation. She knew she had to talk to him, but she was completely unprepared. "Because I didn't want you to think that I broke up with him for you."

"So, why did you break up with him?"

Riley put her hands on her hips. "That's private," she said defensively.

Lucas sighed as he closed his eyes for a moment. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to think rationally about what was happening. This wasn't going at all as he had planned. He thought he would show up and she would immediately tell him that she wanted to be with him, that she was sorry for going back to Charlie after their kiss in the costume closet. Instead she seemed mad. "I'm sorry," he found himself saying.

"I am too." She looked at her best friend who seemed completely amused by all of this. "Can you give us a few minutes?"

"Do I have to," she whined.

"Yes."

"Fine." Before she left the room, she turned to Riley. "I'm going to go make some popcorn."

Once the door was closed, Riley turned to face Lucas. "I thought about telling you. I _wanted_ to tell you, but I just didn't want you to get the wrong idea."

He nodded. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he should have known that was coming. He didn't even think of the third option in all of this: she could simply choose neither of them. "So, you don't want to be with me either?"

How could she make him understand that it wasn't about him? This was all her. "I didn't say that. I just think that at least for a little while, I need to be Riley."

"So, not even a date?" He already knew the answer. He just had to hear it from her.

Riley shook her head. "But what I can suggest is we really try to be friends. I know it sounds lame considering everything that's happened between us, but you're honestly one of my favorite people to talk to and…I don't want to lose that."

He nodded, but said nothing. It was a lot for him to try to process. He always thought the biggest roadblock between them getting together was Charlie, not Riley's desire to re-establish her independence from being in a relationship. Part of him wanted to convince her that he didn't want to chain her down or make her feel like she wasn't free to do what she wanted. He simply wanted to be with her. He quickly subdued that urge. Lucas knew that it wasn't something she wanted or even needed to hear.

"I just need a little time," she continued. "I was with him for three years. I don't want to just jump into something with you too soon. I need to get my head in the right place."

The last thing he wanted was to be some sort of rebound for her. She hadn't completely ruled out the idea of them being together some day. She just ruled out that day being today. She wanted to be sure. She wanted the timing to be right. Lucas was well aware of the fact that anything worth having was worth waiting for. He was willing to wait. She was more than worth it. "So how does the friend thing work?"

She smiled, relieved that he seemed to understand what she was trying to do. "Well, we talk…we hang out…we're open with one another."

"Riley, I have been—"

"I know you have been. And…it means a lot to me."

"Ok. Friends. I can do that."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

"I can't believe how pretty it looks in here," Riley nearly squealed as she took in the sight before her.

"I can't believe how much food is over there," Zay grinned as he eyed the long table of food off in the corner.

"I can't believe I'm actually at one of these things," Lucas grumbled as the group of five entered the gym.

Zay tore his eyes from the refreshment table to look at his oldest friend. "Lead in the school play and going to dances?" He laughed. "Who are you again?"

Lucas chuckled. "I have no idea." He glanced at the brunette who walked a few steps in front of him. In the last month, they had become incredibly close—closer than he thought possible for such a short period of time. He found himself wanting to learn everything he could about her. Every new fact made him fall more and more for her. She liked ketchup on her mac and cheese. She loved the salty/sweet combination of popcorn and chocolate. She had an insane passion for the New York Knicks. She loved animals—especially dogs. Her favorite show was "Red Planet Diaries" and she never missed watching an episode with Maya.

When he found out that she—like most girls her age—also loved going to school dances, he knew he'd have to set aside his own prejudices against them in order to go with her. Now, they were here together, but they weren't _together_ together. The five of them decided to all go as friends, although Riley and Lucas had secretly conspired to get Farkle and Maya to finally admit their developing feelings for one another. They both knew they would have to leave Zay in the dark about the scheme because Zay was well known for his tendency to tell everyone any bit of information he learned about anyone.

Riley was glad that they all decided to go as a group. It wasn't that she was afraid to be alone with Lucas. In fact, she found herself spending almost as much time with him as she spent with Maya. Sometimes they would study. Sometimes they would watch a movie. And sometimes they would sit around and just talk. She enjoyed every moment of it, but at the same time, she knew that going to a dance together might be pushing the boundaries a little bit. Her feelings for him were undeniable, but she still wasn't convinced that she was ready to start dating again.

Oddly enough, Lucas enjoyed their conversations the most. It ranged from light discussions about their tastes in music and movies to deeper conversations about where they saw themselves in five years. He hadn't thought about his future since he started acting out in school, but as he told Riley in the library, he always loved animals. He wasn't sure if he had completely screwed up any chance of a college education with the stuff he pulled in Texas, but Riley insisted that didn't matter. He couldn't change what happened in the past. All he could do was to look toward the future and work on the present. He wasn't lying when he told her that she made him believe he could be anything he wanted to be. Only a month of complete honesty between them, and he started to believe that he would be able to make all of his dreams come true, despite his past.

He watched as the object of his affection pulled Maya over to the punch table. Lucas knew what that meant. Riley was going to try persuade Maya to ask Farkle to dance while he was supposed to encourage Farkle to do the same. That way, if only one of them was successful, then they would still end up on the dance floor with one another. Lucas tore his eyes away from his goddess as took the opportunity to give one of his best friends the push he needed to finally make a move on his own dream girl. "Farkle, ask Maya to dance."

"W-What," he laughed nervously. Did Lucas read his mind? Farkle had been practicing all day for it. It was ridiculous. He had danced with her a million times before, but this was different now. He knew that his feelings for the blonde had changed dramatically over the last few months. The worst part was that a big part of him hoped that her feelings had somehow matched his own. It was just a pipe dream, right? Maya Hart deserved a GQ model, not some geek she had known for most of her life.

Lucas sensed Farkle's hesitancy. Couldn't the guy tell that she was just as crazy about him as he was about her? Lucas wished he had the same problem, but he couldn't dwell on that right now. No, right now his friend needed to be pushed in the right direction in order to have the perfect night with his perfect girl. "Riley told me that you guys always go to these things and you all take turns dancing with one another, right?"

Farkle nodded, words escaping him. If he couldn't fine the strength to say 'yes' to one of his best friends, how was he supposed to ask Maya to dance? This whole thing was a terrible idea.

"So, just think it's like that…except you'll dance most of the dances with Maya."

"What if she doesn't like me?" He looked across the gym at the girls as they casually sipped their punch, completely unaware of the fact that he was about to have a full-blown panic attack. His frantic eyes looked back at Lucas. "You have no idea how long I've—"

"I have a pretty good idea," Zay cut in as he finally realized what his friends were talking about. "So, you and Maya?"

"Oh no," Farkle groaned. Had he been that obvious? Zay was like a brother to him, but it took him awhile to catch on to things that pertained to relationships and feelings. He often seemed like he was in his own little world. It wasn't that Zay was self-centered or anything, he just always seemed distracted by everything but the heart-to-hearts Farkle had tried to have with him over the years.

"I won't say anything," Zay promised.

"Yeah, right," Lucas laughed. He loved Zay, but knew that his best friend spoke before he thought most of the time. He never meant to tell anyone's secrets. It wasn't in Zay's nature to be like that. He just couldn't seem to keep track of what should be kept silent and what was public knowledge. Lucas looked back over at Farkle who looked like he just wanted to bolt. "Just ask her. I know she'll say yes."

* * *

Maya sat her empty cup down on the table, worry etched across her otherwise flawless features. "What if he doesn't want to?"

Riley sat her cup down beside her best friend's. She placed a hand on her hip. "Maya, please. We all know you two have been hanging out more and more."

Maya shook her head as she tried to dismiss Riley's reasoning. "That's just because you and Lucas have been hanging out more and more." She glanced over at the guys who appeared to be in an intense conversation of their own. "What's going on with that anyway?"

"What do you mean?" Riley barely heard Maya's question as she tried to think of a way to get her normally confident best friend to ask her other best friend to dance.

Maya lifted her eyebrows. If Riley was going to force her to talk about her feelings for Farkle, she was certainly going to bring up the feelings she knew Riley had for Lucas. "You and cowboy. You've been single Riley for a month, but the only guy you've been hanging out with is one Lucas Friar. Just go out with him, already!"

"He's not the only guy I've been hanging out with." How did this conversation get turned around on her? That wasn't the plan.

"Farkle and Zay don't count."

"Well," Riley thought for a moment, "if you put it that way, then I guess." Why were they still talking about her and Lucas? They were supposed to be talking about Maya and Farkle.

Maya knew that her own plan was working. Just as Riley was trying to push Farkle and Maya together, Maya was trying to push Riley into admitting her feelings for Lucas. She noticed the changes between both of them in the last month—especially in her best friend. Riley smiled all the time again. She seemed to be the same Riley she had met when they were seven—eternally optimistic, a hopeless dreamer. That was Maya's favorite Riley. That was the real Riley. She knew that spending so much time with Lucas had aided in the return of her missing best friend. He seemed to make her happy. And despite his rough start at the school and with their group, Lucas seemed to genuinely care about all of them—especially Riley. He clearly worshipped the ground she walked on. "So are you going to ask him out?"

"No. Not yet. I'm not ready for that." She knew she was getting there, but part of her still wanted her to wait just a little while longer. She wasn't sure what she was waiting for. She couldn't figure it out. It had nothing to do with Lucas. He wasn't pressuring her into anything. He hadn't even brought it up since their conversation about her breakup with Charlie. She wasn't even sure that he was still interested in her like that. She knew he wasn't seeing anyone, but that didn't mean that he still had feelings for her. It could just be because he hadn't found anyone worth dating.

"How long do you expect him to wait?"

Riley looked over at him. He seemed to be engaged in a lively conversation with Farkle. Riley prayed that he was having better luck with his pep talk than she was. "I don't expect him to wait. This is about me. Whenever I feel ready for it. I want it to be right." She turned back to face Maya. "If he finds someone else, then it wasn't meant to be, right?"

Maya peered over Riley's shoulder to look at the guys. She watched as Lucas looked over at them—well, looked at Riley. She smiled before she looked back at her oblivious friend. "I don't think you have to worry about that, Riles. I think that boy would wait an eternity for you."

* * *

As soon as the girls walked back to the guys, Farkle somehow managed to squeak out an invitation to dance with Maya. Riley, Lucas, and Zay had to hold back a chuckle. They were both so painfully awkward around one another. It was pretty endearing though. As soon as they got to the dance floor, a slow song came on. Maya placed her hands on his shoulders as he put his hands around her waist. They weren't really far apart, but they weren't close to one another either.

Lucas watched the whole exchange and couldn't help but cringe. They needed a lot of work. An idea formed in his mind, one that would also benefit him with his own mission. He knew he had to take the opportunity. "Riley?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to show them how it's done?" He gestured to the awkward couple on the dance floor.

Riley frowned. She hadn't thought that far ahead. She just assumed they would be normal once they started dancing. She should've known better. She looked up at Lucas and smiled. "Absolutely."

Lucas returned the smile as they both walked up beside the couple on the dance floor. Neither one was looking at the other; both appeared to be counting down the seconds until the song was over. "Guys, it's not like we're in middle school," Lucas told Maya and Farkle.

"Seriously," Riley agreed as she wrapped her arms around Lucas's neck as he put his hands on her waist. "It's ok to put your arms around each other."

"We know that," Maya snapped. She knew they were just trying to help, but couldn't they see that they were just making it more uncomfortable for them? They didn't want to be pushed. Riley of all people should understand that.

"So, what are you doing, Peaches?" She knew Maya was mad at her, but Riley couldn't help it. She wanted to fix everyone around her. It was a trait most people seemed to like about her, except those she was trying to fix at the time. If they could just relax, Riley knew that they would thank her and Lucas for the push.

Maya looked from Riley and Lucas to her and Farkle. They were so far apart. She couldn't help but laugh. "She has a point." She hated to admit it. Growing up, Maya had always been the more knowledgeable one when it came to life and how it all worked, but this was new territory for her. She had been out on a few dates here and there, but nothing serious. She had never been out with anyone she had any real feelings for. She knew her best friend knew more about these things, even if most of her experience was limited to the cheese soufflé.

Farkle nodded. "Yeah, this is very uncomfortable." He mentally kicked himself. She must think he was a complete loser with how he was currently holding her at, literally, arm's length.

Maya looked at Riley who gave her an encouraging smile. She turned back to Farkle. "Well…how about…" she took two steps closer to him as she moved her hands from his shoulders to drape them around his neck, matching Riley's position with Lucas, "this?" She looked up at him, her blue eyes twinkling under the soft lighting of the gym.

Farkle nervously chuckled. "Getting better," he admitted. He slid his hands around Maya's back as he closed the distance in between them. "How is that?"

She smiled at him. "Perfect."

Riley smiled at her handiwork when she saw Maya lean in to rest her head on Farkle's chest. She could tell that they both seemed much more relaxed. She looked up at the guy she was dancing with. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Helping me push those two together…literally." She laughed as she looked back at her two best friends.

"He's talked about her nonstop since I've started hanging out with him. I figured it was about time for him to make his move." Lucas was secretly grateful. He knew from what Riley had told him that Farkle had always declared his equal affection for the girls, but Lucas suspected that it wasn't completely true. Thankfully he was in love with the one whose name was not Riley Matthews. That made everything a little bit easier. It was easy to dismiss Gardener. Lucas didn't like him. Never had. Farkle was different. He was a great guy. It would've made things a lot more complicated if Lucas was forced to compete with Farkle for Riley's affection.

"Past time," Riley agreed. "They've been tiptoeing around this for awhile now."

They danced in silence for a few moments, both of their thoughts shifting from their friends to one another. She was so close to him. He hadn't experienced that since the play. Was that almost two months ago? Seemed like another lifetime. He took a deep breath, the smell of her kiwi shampoo intoxicating all of his senses. "So…how are you?"

She wrinkled her nose as his sudden question pulled her out of her own reverie. "What?"

"I mean, we've been hanging out more…with everyone else…and then just us, but we haven't talked about…you know…everything that happened. So…how are you?" He still didn't know any of the details about her breakup with Charlie. Frankly, he didn't really care. All he cared about was the gorgeous creature in his arms. Was she happy? Did she regret breaking up with him? She seemed more relaxed in the last month, but it could simply be because the stress of the play wasn't surrounding them anymore.

Riley understood exactly what he wasn't saying. They had avoided the topic of Charlie and her newly found single status, focusing more on learning more about each other and getting everyone more comfortable with the idea of Lucas joining their little group. "I'm good."

"Just good?"

She laughed. "I'm great." She wanted to tell him that his story about his mother helped her more than anything else to realize that her relationship with Charlie had turned toxic and that she had to escape it before it got to the same point as his parents, but she didn't. A part of her knew that it wasn't a good idea. And besides, all of that was in the past. There was no use in bringing all of that up just to anger Lucas.

As the DJ switched songs, Lucas was grateful for another slow song. At least four more minutes of pure heaven at the one place he least expected it: a school dance. "Are you excited about the ski trip?"

Her eyes brightened at the mention of the class trip. "Absolutely! Three days in the mountains with my friends? I'm counting down the days. What about you?"

He leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I'm definitely looking forward to spending some time with you in the mountains."

She closed her eyes as he spoke; the feeling of his breath tickled her ear, sending a jolt through her, leaving a trail of goose bumps over her neck and arms. It took her a moment to try to recover from the sudden realization that they hadn't been that close to one another since the play. She cleared her throat as she pulled back to look him in the eyes. "What about the guys?"

The corner of his mouth lifted to a half smile that nearly made Riley weak in the knees. He had felt her shiver as he whispered into her ear. He knew that he was having the same effect on her at that moment as she had on him ever since they met. "Oh, I'm sure you'll be with Maya a lot of the time. I'm just hoping that when you aren't with her that…"

Riley raised an eyebrow. "That…"

He had to stifle a chuckle. Had he been the same guy he was a few months ago, maybe she would be right in her assumption that he wanted more than she was prepared to offer. She made him see that good things are worth waiting for. He wasn't about to pressure her now. He had done enough of that during the play, and nearly lost her in the process. "That…maybe you would show me how to ski?"

Riley pursed her lips. Was he being serious? Yes, he had seemed to be willing to give her all the time in the world to process the breakup with Charlie, but he was still Lucas Friar. And with the way he just whispered in her ear, Riley couldn't be the only one thinking about other things to do on the ski trip besides participate in winter sports. "Well, you'd need to go to Farkle for skiing lessons. I actually snow board."

Lucas was shocked. "Snow board? You?"

Riley laughed at his surprise. "Right? I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time, but my uncle lives upstate and when I was younger, he would teach me how to snowboard. He taught Maya too."

He grinned. "That's great! I'm more interested in snow boarding anyway."

She raised another incredulous eyebrow at him. "Oh, are you?"

He loved how playful she was being with him. He could definitely get used to this. "Oh, definitely." Lucas couldn't believe all of the little things he was finding out about the girl he was holding. Every little fact that he learned about her, he immediately committed to memory. "So, how about those lessons?"

"I'm not so sure. I know you like to give your teachers a hard time," she teased.

Lucas laughed. "Hey! I'm trying to be better."

Riley laughed. "I'm only teasing. Of course I'll teach you."

He let out a long dramatic breath. "Oh, good. I'd hate to ask Missy about it." He looked down at Riley who simply rolled her eyes at him. "What," he asked innocently.

"Oh, you know what." She tried to act mad, but her eyes completely gave her away. She was completely amused by their playful banter.

Lucas' smile slowly faded as he watched her smile reach her eyes. He knew he was going to risk ruining the moment, but he had to tell her. "Riley?"

"Yeah?"

"You look great tonight."

"Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself."

* * *

After a few more dances with Lucas and Zay, Riley excused herself to go get something to drink. She had spent nearly an hour on the dance floor. She couldn't believe neither of the guys wanted anything to drink. Granted, they had more opportunities than she had to grab something while she danced with the other. Maya and Farkle were still in their own little world as they continued to dance with one another.

She barely made it to the punch bowl before she felt someone walk up next to her.

"Good night?"

For some reason the hairs on the back of Riley's neck stood when she heard his voice. They hadn't spoken at all since the breakup, despite telling one another that they would remain in each other's lives. It was just too awkward for Riley. They didn't really have a friendship before everything happened, so she wasn't sure what they were supposed to go back to. She wanted to remain friendly with him, but at the same time, he wasn't really close with anyone else in the group. Never mind the obvious distaste Lucas had for Charlie and vice versa. Still, she felt guilty for not making a better effort to establish some sort of friendship with Charlie, no matter how superficial. She slowly turned to face him. "Hey Charlie."

"Saw you dancing with Friar. You two dating?" He wasn't interested in pleasantries with her. She hadn't made any sort of effort to speak to him. He had hope that maybe she would permit him a dance, but between Lucas and Zay, Charlie hadn't had a chance all evening to even approach her. He was done being nice.

Riley looked around them. There was no one around them, but she began to feel claustrophobic, a feeling she hadn't had since she broke up with him. "No, we aren't. I told you that I wanted to just be me for awhile."

He knew he shouldn't be angry at her, but who else could he be mad at? Friar? Oh, he was plenty mad at that guy. He blamed Lucas for this whole breakup. He was furious with her too. For allowing herself to be manipulated by him. "Could've fooled me. You two were pretty close to just be friends."

"We are just friends, Charlie." She looked over at her group of friends from across the room. She wished that one of them would see her and sense her complete discomfort with this conversation.

"Have you slept with him yet?"

"Ok, Charlie. That was out of line." She turned to leave, but his hand reached out to grab her wrist, stopping her. She spun back around as she managed to pull her wrist from his grasp.

"No, I think it's right in line." He took a step closer to her. "So, how long did you wait? Was it right after you broke up with me or did you give it a day?"

Riley grit her teeth and closed her eyes as he spoke to her. She knew she couldn't make a scene, not here, not now. "Charlie, stop."

"Is something wrong?" Lucas was talking about the upcoming class trip with his friends when he wondered what was taking Riley so long. One look at the refreshment table told him all he needed to know. Charlie was close to her, too close. He could only see the back of her, but he could tell she seemed tense from across the room.

Riley's eyes flew open. She was grateful that someone had sensed her discomfort. She just wished that person wasn't the one person who didn't need to get involved. "No," she answered quickly as she turned to face Lucas.

"No," Charlie echoed. He waited a beat before he added, "Riley was just about to tell me how long she waited after we broke up until she screwed you."

Lucas was taken aback. "Excuse me?"

Charlie didn't care about exchanging pleasantries anymore with this guy. "Oh, you heard me, Friar. You may have her fooled, but I know exactly who you are."

"Is that right?" Was this some warped dream? Lucas knew Charlie seemed to have a temper, but was he actually acting like this in front of Riley—had he been talking to her like that?

"Yeah."

"If you really knew me," Lucas' smile faded as he dropped the tone in his voice. He took a step closer to the shorter brunette in front of him, "You would know to leave Riley alone."

"Lucas, don't," Riley pleaded. This was the last thing she wanted. He didn't need to get involved with any of this. She could handle Charlie.

Her voice brought him back from where he was so close to going. It would be so easy just to knock Charlie's lights out, but he knew that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted him to move past that side of himself. He wanted to too, but surely one good punch wouldn't undo a month of improvement, right? He looked back at Riley. If her plea hadn't work, the horrified look on her face made him second-guess his decision to make Charlie regret ever looking at her. "It's ok, Riley," he gently soothed before he turned to face Charlie. Lucas's features hardened once more. "We're just talking. Right, Gardener?"

"Yeah." Charlie looked at his ex-girlfriend. "Hope you have a good night."

Riley and Lucas watched Charlie as he walked out of the gym. Lucas turned to her. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." A lie. She wasn't ok. It wasn't what Charlie said to her. She had come to expect that from him, although she had hoped his verbal abuse would stop once she had ended their relationship. She was even more scared of Lucas. Not _of_ him. She knew he'd never hurt her. She was scared of his reaction to Charlie. She knew at that moment, she could never tell him the real reason for the breakup. Together or not, she knew how loyal and protective Lucas was over his friends. If the last few minutes were any indication, he would certainly try to kill Charlie.

His eyes narrowed. "How long has he been talking to you like that?" Yes, Lucas had been a witness to Charlie's outbursts before, but this was different. He had provoked Charlie in front of everyone the last time. This time, it was just Riley and him. Lucas hadn't said a word to anger the guy, yet he was throwing out inappropriate comments about Riley.

Riley wanted nothing more than to be honest with Lucas. She hated hiding things from him, but she knew it was for all of their sakes. If she breathed a word of any of it, he would leave the gym and confront Charlie. The last thing Riley wanted was for Lucas to get kicked out of school for her. No, she broke up with Charlie. It was fine. It was over. "No. I think he was just upset. I mean…I tried to tell him that you and I are just…you know."

"Yeah. I know." He slid his hands into his pockets as he rocked back on his heels. He needed to try to control his anger. He knew that he had frightened her. The sad part was that he had been a lot angrier than that several times before. He had just done a great job of hiding that part of himself from her. She made him want to be better. He wanted to be better. He also knew that it was impossible for that change to happen overnight. "Do you…want to go dance some more?"

Riley looked to the dance floor before she looked back at Lucas. "I think I'm just ready to go home. I'm a little tired."


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N: Shorter chapter because I needed to put a break in and this seemed like the best place to do so. Enjoy this little filler chapter because it'll be the last one for a little bit.**_

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

The annual junior class ski trip. Every year after finals, the juniors took a weekend ski trip just before winter break. Everyone had been looking forward to it for months, mainly because it was a three-day trip with limited adult supervision. Riley wasn't as lucky as her other friends: her dad was one of the chaperones. He made it very clear to her that he was going to keep an eye on the newest member of her social circle. He even made sure that he was assigned to the same cabin as him. Initially, she was worried that it would scare Lucas away, but oddly enough, he seemed to enjoy the fact that her father was worried about him getting to close to his daughter. _Boys_. She would never understand them.

She rolled her eyes when her father insisted everyone on the bus sit with a member of the same sex. She was already going to sit with Maya, but it was still embarrassing for her. She couldn't help but grin at her dad when Lucas and Farkle slid into their seats right behind them.

She couldn't figure out what her father was doing. Did he honestly think something would happen on a noisy, crowded bus? She didn't understand it at all. He was never that way with Charlie _._

' _Charlie.'_

Riley glanced around her. She didn't see him on their bus. He may have ended up on the second one. It was for the best. She hadn't spoken to him since the dance, and really didn't want to. She didn't have anything else to say to him. She thought that he would understand why they broke up—that he would somehow be better without the stress of dealing with her every day—but he seemed so different now. She didn't recognize him anymore. Gone was the nice guy who took three minutes to stammer out an invitation to the movies. Gone was the guy who always held open doors for her, who respected her opinion on everything. He wasn't the same guy. And Riley knew she wasn't the same girl either.

Maya turned to Lucas, a grin plastered across her face. "You know Matthews is just going to stare you down the whole ride, right?" She tilted her head back to gesture at their history teacher who was openly glaring at him.

"Oh, I'd be disappointed if he didn't," Lucas chuckled as he saw Mr. Matthews scowl. His gaze shifted to Riley as she turned in her seat to look at him, a bemused smile on her lips. "What?"

She wasn't exactly sure what to make of all of it. Was he actually enjoying her complete humiliation over her father's antics? "You really love this attention, don't you?"

Lucas considered her words for a moment. He wouldn't say that he loved it, because he knew that the more attention his history teacher gave him, the less likely he was to get any real alone time with Riley. On the other hand, Lucas knew that Mr. Matthews didn't act like that with the any other guy in Riley's life. "Let's just say I'd be more worried if he didn't pay attention to me."

Riley turned her head to look at Maya as a blush crept up her cheeks. He was so smooth. How did he know exactly what to say and when to say it? He always knew what to say so it was flirty, but without putting any sort of pressure on her. The insecure side of Riley still tried to deny the fact that Lucas wanted to be with her, but that part of her seemed to shrink with every passing day, as were her reservations about dating him. He had done every single thing she had asked him to do, and he seemed to do it with a smile on his face. A month ago, she had made it clear that he had a lot to prove to her to gain her trust, and not only did he accept the challenge, he seemed to excel in every area. She knew she was falling for him more and more with every passing day, but was she ready? Was she sure that this wasn't some sort of rebound? To be with the person who had inadvertently opened her eyes to the serious issues in her relationship with her ex-boyfriend?

"How long is this ride," Maya whined as soon as the bus started moving.

"Five hours," Farkle answered from behind her.

She turned to face him. "Five hours?!" She looked over at Riley who gave her a sympathetic smile. She looked back at her—what were they? Friends? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Flirting buddies? She had no idea what they were, but she did know what she was going to do with the next five hours. "That's it. Sorry Farkle," she said as she turned back in her seat. She leaned over to try to see where the handle was so she could recline the seat back. "I'm going to nap," she announced once she found the lever. She slowly reclined in her seat, a lazy smile forming on her lips.

Riley frowned. She did not sign up for sitting next to a snoring Maya for the next five hours. She wanted to read magazines with her, talk about what slopes they were going to try out on the trip, maybe even plan their annual New Years party. Sleeping was nowhere on the list. "Maya, you're crushing his legs."

"It's fine Riley." Farkle couldn't help but be hypnotized by this precious angel as she closed her eyes. She was practically curled up in his lap. Sure, he couldn't move his legs at all, but he didn't care.

Riley couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. She was disappointed that Maya's plans for the next five hours didn't mirror her own, but she wasn't going to let that ruin her mood. "You two are too much."

"Oh please, you're one to talk." Maya said beneath her closed eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about. You two," she waved her hand back and forth in Riley and Lucas's general direction, "have been making goo-goo eyes at each other for weeks now…further back than that if you really want to get honest about it."

"Maya," Riley swatted her arm.

"You know, a lot can happen in a weekend," Maya added, unaffected by the embarrassment she inflicted on her best friend.

* * *

"Everything is so white." Lucas was in complete awe as took in his surroundings. He had never seen anything like it. Sure he had seen pictures and movies depicting snow, but actually experiencing it was completely different. As far as his eye could see, it was all white. It almost felt like a dream except for the bitter cold that shot down his spine.

"Haven't you ever seen snow," Farkle asked as he stepped off the bus behind him. He was grateful that they made it to their destination. Although he thoroughly enjoyed watching Maya sleep for five hours, his limbs were screaming for a break. His legs fell asleep after only being on the bus for about thirty minutes, but he didn't dare disturb the sleeping goddess before him. He sat his bag down as he stretched his arms and legs out.

"Never."

"Oh, you're in for some fun on the slopes then." Zay glanced around them. He was thankful to finally be off the bus. He slept for the first three hours, but the last two felt like a week to him. Lucas and Riley were flirting and seemed to only acknowledge the existence of one another the whole ride and Farkle was completely distracted by Maya's drool. Zay shook his head. He didn't mind being the fifth wheel, but his friends needed to get it together and just all admit how they felt about one another.

Lucas was snapped out of his trance by his best friend's comment. "You ski?!" He didn't mean to sound as shocked as it came out, but frankly, he was surprised. The Zay he knew in Texas wasn't much for cold weather or sports. If it dropped below 60 degrees, he refused to even go outside.

Zay shook his head. _'Ski?! Him?! No. Not ever again.'_ "Nah. I just ride the lift so I can meet some snow bunnies."

Lucas tried to stifle the chuckle that was threatening to come out. "Why am I not surprised?"

"We told him that we'd teach him." Riley looked all around her. Nothing but blankets and blankets of beautiful snow. She hated winter in the city, but upstate was a completely different story. She felt at peace here. She seemed to gain the best sense of clarity about life when she was in the mountains. She loved every second of it. She turned back to the guys. "But he fell one time and said 'never again.'"

"Riley, I broke my ankle."

She waved her hand at him dismissively. "Oh come on. It wasn't that bad."

"He was in the hospital for three days," Farkle added.

"Well fine then," Riley sighed dramatically. "If you're all going to gang up on me."

* * *

"I can't believe they put the guys and girls in separate cabins on opposite sides of the whole place." Maya remarked as she and Riley sat their bags down on two twin beds right next to each other. They watched as some of the other girls in their class came into the room to claim their beds.

Riley hoped that Missy Bradford would somehow make her way to the other girls' cabin. The last thing she wanted to see this weekend was a walking reminder of who got to Lucas first. After she saw that all the beds in the cabin were taken, she sighed a breath of relief. Missy was nowhere in sight. Her weekend was already looking up. "I'm not surprised at all. You know how my dad is."

Maya unzipped her bag and began to toss her clothes across the bed as she searched for her snowboard goggles. "Why _is_ he like this? He wasn't like that with Charlie."

Riley shrugged as she sat down on the bed. She watched as the other girls simply sat their bags on their beds and left the cabin. She waited until Maya and her were alone again before she spoke. "Maybe its Lucas's reputation or past? I don't really know. He knows Lucas isn't really like that."

"Maybe he knows something you don't." Maya reached into the bottom of her bag. "Aha!" She pulled out her snowboard goggles. "I bet we can get some time in today."

Riley frowned. How can her best friend say something like _'maybe he knows something you don't'_ and not elaborate? "What would he know that I don't?"

"Oh, I don't know," Maya drawled in a singsong voice as she tossed her bag to the floor. She sat on her bed before she suddenly clutched her goggles to her chest. "Maybe he knows you two are meant to be," she said theatrically before she flopped back on her bed. "'Oh, Lucas, Oh Lucas," she continued, "Where for art thou Lucas?"

Riley rolled her eyes at her friend's antics. "Please."

Maya sat back up as she raised her eyebrows. "What? _You_ don't think you are?"

She knew she was being baited. Riley had been fairly tightlipped about her current frame of mind regarding Lucas. She knew it was beginning to drive Maya crazy. "I don't think my dad would know anything about that. He barely knows Lucas."

Maya knew she was redirecting the conversation back to what her father thought about him. She decided to drop it. She wanted to respect her friend's privacy while she sorted out her feelings. She knew Riley didn't want to be persuaded into doing anything she wasn't ready for, but Maya-and it seemed like the whole world-knew that she was more than ready to take the leap with someone new. "But he knows _you_ , Riley. You're his little princess."

"So?"

"I think he's worried your prince has showed up and he doesn't want to quite let you go yet."

"Knock, knock," Farkle announced as he opened the door to the cabin. He smiled at Maya as he, Zay, and Lucas strolled in.

"What are you guys doing here?!" Maya's eyes widened as she quickly glanced at all of the clothes scattered across her bed. She relaxed slightly once she realized that none of her unmentionables were strewn about in her quest to find her goggles. "You know you could get suspended, right?"

"Calm down." Lucas smiled, extremely grateful that he was friends with an evil mastermind who went by the name of Farkle Minkus. Farkle wanted to see Maya just as badly as Lucas wanted to see Riley. And thanks to his genius friend, they devised a plan to get in a little extra time with the girls without having to worry about a certain history teacher watching them. "All of the chaperones are having a meeting right now. We wanted to see if you guys wanted to check out the area before Mr. Matthews catches up to us?"

Riley and Maya exchanged glances. "Sure," they said in unison.


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N: Thank you guys for your continued support for this story. I absolutely love every review submitted. You guys are all very perceptive and it lets me know that I am writing this fairly logical and real. So, thank you all for your support.**_

* * *

Chapter Twenty

Zay insisted that he was content with riding the ski lift all day as he made it his mission to find some snow bunnies while Maya, Riley, Lucas, and Farkle hit the slopes for an afternoon of fun. Maya and Farkle started down the slope as soon as they got off the lift, leaving Lucas and Riley behind.

"You can go if you want to," Lucas told her as he watched Maya and Farkle race one another down the mountain.

Riley shook her head. "No. I want to teach you how to snowboard." She slid off the seat, board attached to her feet. She turned behind her and reached for his hand. "You need to trust me."

He took her hand as she helped him off the seat. "This is so weird."

"You'll get used to it." She grinned as she watched him try to keep his balance. It was quite endearing to see him so vulnerable.

She spent the next hour showing Lucas how to balance, how to pick up speed with the board, and how to slow down. He was starting to feel pretty confident about the whole thing before he suddenly felt himself falling backward.

Riley reached out to grab him, but found herself landing on top of him instead. Concern spread throughout her, as she was worried that he somehow got injured. "Oh my God. Lucas, are you ok?"

Lucas just started laughing. "I guess I have two left feet."

Riley laughed. "I think that metaphor is more about dancing than snowboarding."

They both laughed for another moment. Riley's laughter faded as she found herself completely hypnotized by the sound of his enjoyment. She thought back over the past six weeks. So much had changed since her breakup with Charlie. She found herself laughing more. She felt more like the Riley she wanted to be. And Lucas. He seemed much more relaxed around her and all of her friends. They were all his friends now too. Zay and him had seemed to move on from what happened back in Texas. Lucas laughed now too. He laughed a lot, and every time that Riley was around to hear it, it made her heart beat just a little faster. Being this close to him, seeing him so happy made her heart flutter. Her feelings for him were no longer muddled, a fact she realized a few weeks ago. She knew who he was. He had more than shown that.

Maybe it was the moment, maybe it was being in that close of proximity to him, maybe it was being alone with him, or some combination of all three. It felt like he looked at her like she was the most precious creature in all of existence. But maybe it was all in her head. Maybe he got tired of waiting. She wanted to ask him how he felt, but she was tired of talking about it. Her adrenaline began to pump as she continued to study his shimmering emerald eyes. She could definitely lose herself in those eyes. Maybe she already was lost in them. That pull-the same one that she had somehow been able to resist for the last six weeks-had somehow, in that moment, completely pulled her under. She found herself leaning in closer to him.

Lucas swallowed as he watched Riley inch closer and closer to him. Was this just another one of the countless dreams he had over the last few months? Was he going to wake up any moment with the reality that she still wasn't ready to be with him just yet? As her nose brushed against his, he closed his eyes. If this was a dream, he didn't care. He just didn't want to wake up.

Riley lightly brushed her lips against Lucas's, adrenaline still fully kicked in, but now the more self conscious side of her began to scream at her that maybe he didn't want this anymore. She felt herself begin to pull back when she noticed his arms encircle her waist, bringing her closer to him, their lips fully connecting for the first time since the end of the play.

He had waited for this moment for what felt like forever. As he felt the cold snow underneath him, he realized that this was no dream. This was reality. They were here, together, kissing one another. They weren't hiding in a closet. They weren't simply characters in a play. They were Lucas and Riley. He tried not to think of anything else in that moment but the fact that whatever connection they had hadn't diminished over the last few months. If anything, it had increased exponentially.

Riley's thoughts mirrored Lucas's. They were really kissing one another, out in the open, with no regret, and no wondering if it was just an act. This was really them. As she opened her mouth to deepen the kiss, she wondered how this moment could be any more perfect. When he reached his arm up to tuck a loose tendril behind her ear, she realized that it could. When the same hand gently began to stroke her cold cheek, she knew that this moment was one she would remember for the rest of her life. She wanted to savor every millisecond of it.

A sound somewhere off in the distance made Riley pull back from him. "What was that?" She looked all around them. They were by themselves, as they had been for the last twenty minutes. She quickly unlatched her snowboard as she scrambled to get up and investigate the sound.

Lucas groaned, but sat up to unlatch the snowboard from his feet. "It was probably some snow falling through the trees," he reasoned. Once he was free to move his legs, he stood up. They were silent for a moment before they heard the exact same sound as before.

Riley's eyes darted around quickly enough to see a pile of snow falling through the tree limbs. "You're right. It's just the snow falling." She slowly turned to him. "So…"

A playful smile played on Lucas's lips. "Soooo?"

Riley crossed her arms over her chest, her old insecurities bubbling back up to the surface. "I'm sorry, I-"

"Don't," he told her softly, his smile faltering.

"What?"

"Don't _ever_ apologize for kissing me." It was a moment he had dreamt about for months. A moment that was better than he ever thought possible. He wasn't about to let her apologize for the one thing he had dreamt about for so long.

"But…"

"But what?"

"I'm not…" she sighed before she bit the inside of her cheek. "I know I'm not…you know…good…at it."

Lucas was at a loss for words. What did she just say? She thought she wasn't good at kissing? Had she completely lost her mind? "Riley, what are you talking about? You've seriously been driving me insane for almost two months because the memory of us kissing is seared into my brain." He took a few steps closer to her. He brought his hand to her cheek once more to get her to look him in the eye. "Who told you that you were bad at it?"

Riley swallowed before she closed her eyes.

Lucas didn't need her to answer. He knew exactly who had put that thought into her mind. He didn't want Charlie Gardener to ruin this moment between himself and Riley. He tried to suppress his intense desire to find the guy and beat him with an inch of his life. He didn't matter—not anymore. She did. She was the only one who mattered. "He lied, Riley."

Riley opened her eyes to meet his. She knew he was unable to lie to her when they looked at one another like this. She just had to know the truth. "Really?"

"I'm not trying to ruin the moment or anything, but I've kissed a few girls before…and believe me…none of them have ever made me feel the way I do when we kiss."

Riley bit her lip as she looked down once more, a rare burst of shyness overcoming the brunette. "I thought it was just me."

Lucas gently slid his hand down her cheek to her chin. He tilted it up so he could ensure that she was looking him in the eye. "It's definitely not just you." He closed the space between them so he could reclaim her lips once more. He wanted to wipe away any shred of doubt that she had about her affect on him.

* * *

The group all laughed around the fire in the main cabin that evening as Maya filled Zay in on just how well Lucas's snowboarding lessons went.

"Ok, ok," Lucas smiled, "So snowboarding is a little more complicated than I thought it would be. I'm just not used to it." He glanced at Riley, who seemed quiet as she stared at the fire burning in the fireplace. He knew he hadn't stopped smiling since their kiss earlier in the afternoon. As he watched her, he wondered what she was thinking about. They hadn't talked about what they were or what was going to happen next. Just as he managed to get the nerve to ask, Maya and Farkle found them and wanted them to go down the slope with them. They hadn't had a moment to themselves ever since.

"So, what do you guys do in Texas?" Maya leaned forward as she grabbed her cup of hot chocolate. Her afternoon was incredible. She and Farkle had gone down three different slopes while Riley showed Lucas the basics of how to snowboard. As soon as she and Farkle found them, she wondered what had happened between them. Lucas couldn't stop grinning, and Riley seemed bashful. Even as they sat around the fire, Maya noticed that Riley wasn't really there with them. She couldn't help the smile that formed when she noticed that Lucas could barely keep his eyes off of her best friend. Something definitely happened between them.

Maya's question snapped Lucas away from his trance. "Oh no," he shook his head, "You'd only give me a hard time for it."

"We don't give Zay a hard time." Farkle reassured.

Maya wrinkled her nose. "He's not really a Texan though."

Zay furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "I'm from Texas. So, I'm just as much a Texan as Lucas is."

Maya sat her mug down on the coffee table. "But you act like a New Yorker. Cowboy over there still acts like…well…a cowboy."

A crackle in the fire snapped Riley back into reality. She knew she had been a little distant ever since they came back from their day on the slopes, but she couldn't help it. Was everything really changing between her and Lucas? After months of angst and soul searching, were they really ready to take the next step and go out on a date? She tried to push that thought away. They got interrupted before they could even talk about all of that. She just needed to wait and let things happen naturally. She turned to face him. "What do you do for fun there?"

Lucas looked around the group. He noticed Zay was trying not to laugh. He sighed. This was bound to come up sooner or later. "Well…there's bull riding."

"You rode a bull?" Riley was surprised. During their conversations over the last several weeks, he hadn't mentioned anything about being a bull rider in Texas.

He looked back at Zay who looked like he was about to explode with laughter. He glanced around at all of the other expectant faces, his eyes finally rested on a curious Riley. "Eh….it was sort of like a bull."

"He rode a sheep," Zay filled in as his laughter couldn't possibly be contained any more.

The whole group except Lucas joined in with Zay's laughter. Lucas leaned forward to try to explain further. "It's called mutton busting and it's a real thing." He looked back at Riley who still giggled. He raised his eyebrows. "Riley? You laughing at me?"

Her laughter immediately subsided under the unintentional intensity of his gaze. "No," she gasped before giving him a playful smile.

"I was too young to ride the bulls at the time."

Despite laughing at the mental image of Lucas riding a sheep, Riley had to admit she was fascinated to learn more about this side of him. "So you could now?"

He shook his head. "I got away from all that."

"Well, I think you could," Riley leaned forward and placed an encouraging hand on his shoulder. She thought he could do anything he set his mind to. He had already proven as much.

He returned her smile before he shifted his gaze to Maya and Farkle. "You guys would love Texas."

Zay nodded. "That's what I've been telling them!"

"I have an idea. Zay and I are going to go back for Spring Break. Do you guys want to come?"

"I'm in," Farkle said immediately. "It'll be nice to get out of the city for a few days."

Maya and Riley exchanged glances. "I'll go if Riley does."

Riley sighed. It sounded amazing. She would love the chance to get to see another part of the country and where Zay and Lucas grew up. It seemed like a great idea, but she had a major roadblock in front of her. "Depends on my dad. He's going to be a tough sell."

Lucas smiled. "Well, we all have four months to work on him."

* * *

The guys walked the girls back to their cabin, or at least until they were 50 feet away, a rule established by the chaperones. As soon as Maya closed the cabin door behind Riley, she spun around to face her. "You two totally made out!"

"W-What," Riley sputtered as she walked over to her bed.

"Oh, you totally did," Maya squealed as she clasped her hands together. "How was it? Was it as good as the play?"

Riley let out a breath. "Well, since you already figured it out…it was incredible." She sat down as she recalled what was easily the best kiss she had ever had. After a moment, she flopped back on the bed, a small smile formed on her lips. "It was like…like when it's summer…and the breeze comes up and it rains for two seconds and everything glows and there's a rainbow."

Maya let out a soft chuckle at her friend's dramatics. She never heard Riley describe a kiss from Charlie like that. "Oh, you got it bad." She laid down beside her best friend. "So, what happens next?"

Riley turned to face her. "I have no idea."

"Are you ready to be with him?"

"I think…I might be. But I mean…we haven't even gone out on a date yet or anything."

Maya waved her hand dismissively. "That's just a technicality. You two have spent a lot of time together over the last few weeks. It was never a matter of _if_ you were going to get together. It was only a matter of _when_."

Riley thought about it for a moment. "I could say the same for you and Farkle."

"We're taking it slow."

"I know. A few dates here, a few dates there." Riley cracked a smile. "When's the wedding?"

Maya nudged her. "We aren't on Farkle and me. We're on Lucas and you. So, how did it happen?"

Riley looked up at the ceiling as she recalled one of the most amazing moments of her life.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Lucas and Riley weren't fortunate enough to get any real alone time together the next day. Their history teacher kept a watchful eye on them, but they weren't too upset about it. They both wanted to enjoy the trip with their friends. Farkle and Lucas managed to convince Zay to grab a snowboard rental while the girls spent the day racing down various slopes.

It was another magical afternoon for the group. Riley was disappointed when the lifts closed as the sun began to set on their last full day. Her disappointment didn't last long as she watched Farkle attempt to carry Maya's snowboard along with his skiis. Riley tried to stifle a giggle as he somehow managed to drop everything after juggling it for a few steps. Maya offered to help him, but he insisted on carrying everything for her. Riley shook her head. They were too adorable.

As she reached down to pick up her own snowboard, she saw a pair of hands reach out and grab it. Riley looked up to see Lucas tuck her board underneath his arm. "May I?"

She smiled. "Sure. Thank you." As they began to walk a few steps behind Maya and Farkle, Riley realized that they were missing a vital part of their group. "Where's Zay?"

"He went back to our cabin to change clothes."

"Oh." They fell into a comfortable silence as they walked to the girls' cabin.

As they inched closer and closer, Riley began to fidget. She wanted to talk to him about what happened yesterday, but she wasn't sure where to begin. She knew this could be the last chance that she could speak to him alone while on the trip. She closed her eyes. "Lucas?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you, I mean, when we get back to the city…you don't have to if you don't want to…" She knew she wasn't making any sense, but she couldn't help it. She had never done anything like this before.

Lucas chuckled. "Yeah?"

She took a deep breath. "Do you think that maybe you would want to…you know…maybe go out to dinner or something when we get back?"

Lucas tried to hide the smile that came across his features. He wanted to be the one to ask her out, but at the same time, he wasn't about to push her. Before he got his hopes up, he had to be sure about what she meant. "You mean with everyone?"

"No. I mean…me and you…on a date?"

"Oh." He pretended to think about it for a moment. Inwardly, he was squealing like a five year old at Christmas. He wasn't about to let his enthusiasm scare her off. "Well…in that case…"

When he was silent for a few more seconds, Riley stopped walking, completely not amused by his hesitancy. Couldn't he see how hard this was for her? "Well, if you have to think about it that long…"

He couldn't help but to laugh at her frustration. She only had to wait a few seconds for a response while he had waited patiently for a few months. It was ironic to say the least. "I'm just kidding. I would love to go on a date with you." That was a complete understatement. Lucas knew he was grinning like an idiot, but he didn't care. The girl he had dreamt about for months, the girl he pined for, actually wanted to go out on a date with him? How did he get so lucky?

Her frown melted into a smile. "Good." She looked over at the cabin. "I guess this is about fifty feet, huh?"

Lucas looked over at the cabin and back at her. He sighed. "Yeah. Are you going to come to the lodge later?"

"Yeah. I figured we could all sit by the fire again like last night. Maybe play some games or just talk."

"Oh, I'm sure you had a blast learning about my life in Texas."

She nodded. "I love learning these little things about you. I gotta pump Zay for more information."

Lucas threw his head back. "Oh God." He looked back at her. "Let's go on a date before that happens."

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh? You scared I'm going to find out something?"

He shook his head. "You already know all of my bad." He took a step closer to her. "I just want to be able to show you the good."

She craned her neck to look up at him. "I can't wait."

"Me either," he murmured before he bent his head down to place a soft kiss on her lips.

* * *

"Your dad keeps missing all of the fun," Maya teased as she slid her boots on.

"Thankfully," Riley replied wryly as she brushed her tangled hair. "I can't believe we're leaving tomorrow. I feel like we just got here."

"Oh, I'm sure." Maya stood up. "Time flies when you're having fun, right Riles?"

"Ha ha."

Maya felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and smiled. "Farkle's here."

"Oh, some alone time before we all meet up?"

"Mayyyybe," she smiled. "Are you ok here?" She looked around the empty cabin.

"Yeah. I'm just going to finish my hair and makeup and I'll be right over."

Maya grabbed her coat. "You might just beat us there."

"Oh, Maya Penelope Hart, you are bad." Riley teased as her friend buttoned up her coat and walked toward the door.

"I learned from the best," she called out as she walked out of the cabin.

Riley turned back to the mirror as she continued to work on her tangled locks. She began to hum to herself as she tried to work through some of the biggest knots she's ever had in her hair. She heard her phone vibrate on the dresser in front of her. She glanced at her text messages and smiled.

' _Lucas: Hurry up. It's been way too long since I've seen you._ _'_

She sat her phone back down and looked back in the mirror. She jumped when she saw someone standing behind her. She spun around. "Hey…Charlie."

"Hey." He casually strolled into the room.

Riley swallowed, her nerves instantly on edge. "W-What are you doing in here? It's the girls' cabin."

He looked around the room. "Yeah. I just wanted to see you. You've been surrounded by your guard dogs for the last few weeks. I just wanted…I needed to talk to you."

With every step he took toward her, she took a step back. She wasn't sure why he was here like this. She hadn't seen him over the last few days. Truthfully, she forgot he even came on the trip. "They aren't my guard dogs."

"I know." He looked down. "I'm sorry."

Riley tilted her head. He seemed upset. Not the same kind that she had become used to. This was different. "So, what's up?"

"I just…" he let out a long breath. He gestured to the bed. "May I?"

She hesitated. She wasn't comfortable with him in her cabin. She tried to get rid of the nagging feeling in the back of her mind. Maybe she would feel better if they just went outside to talk? Over the last few years, they had several heart to hearts in her room in New York. This was definitely less intimate of a space. It was just a big room with a ton of cots. She knew she was being ridiculous. "Sure."

She was careful to maintain her distance as he sat down on her bed. He immediately leaned forward and buried his head in his hands. He was silent for a few moments before he finally spoke.

"I wanted to apologize to you for the way I acted at the dance. I was just…I don't know." He looked up at her as tears began to form in his eyes. "I saw you two together and I just…this breakup has been kind of hard, you know?"

Riley's heart nearly broke at the sight. She had never seen Charlie cry. She hated that they had gotten to a point in their relationship that it just became easier to avoid one another. She didn't want that. They didn't work as a couple, but that didn't mean that they couldn't work as friends. Maybe this could be a first step? "I know." She sat next to him, grateful that they were actually talking again. "It's been an adjustment for me too. It's just hard when you've been with someone for so long."

"Yeah." He looked down before he wiped his eyes. He took a deep breath before he looked at her once more. "You're a hard girl to get over."

She gave him a sad smile. This breakup hadn't been easy for her by any means. She felt guilty for not realizing what was missing between them before she did. She could've saved the both of them from a lot of heart ache and pain. She wanted to make things right with him. Yes, he had made mistakes, but he shouldn't be continuously punished for them. "How are you, Charlie? Really?"

The corner of the right side of his mouth lifted into a sad smile. "I could be better."

She placed a supportive hand on his shoulder. "Anything I can do to help?"

He turned to face her. Before Riley could react, she felt his lips on hers. She immediately pulled back from him. "Charlie, I'm sorry, I can't."

He stood up, his sad demeanor replaced with an all too familiar anger that made Riley's heart begin to race. "It's him, right?"

His back was to her, but Riley still found herself shaking her head. "Charlie, it's not—"

"Stop lying," his voice boomed as he spun to face her. She sucked in a breath when she saw the rage in his eyes. The fear that she thought she was rid of suddenly coursed through her veins. "I saw you," he seethed. "I saw you with him. At the dance. Yesterday on the slopes. Right before you came in here."

Panic. Riley's brain screamed at her to run, to get out of that cabin as quickly as possible, but she was completely frozen in place. Her legs couldn't seem to go where her brain told her. "Y-You were there?"

"Yeah," he scoffed. "But you were too preoccupied with making out with one another to notice. You told me you didn't leave me for him."

"Charlie, I didn't. I—"

"STOP LYING." He reached her in two strides as he grabbed her arms and began to violently shake her. She was the source of all of this pain, this hole in his heart. All of this was because of her and _him_. They were flaunting their relationship in front of him. He wasn't going to be their punch line anymore. "You haven't fucked him. Am I right?"

Riley closed her eyes as she felt his grip on her arms tighten. Her head began to hurt from the way he shook her. It felt like her teeth were rattling in her head. "Charlie, stop," she begged. She tried to remain calm. She thought that somehow, just maybe, he would see what he was doing—that he would calm down long enough so she could get out of the cabin and away from him.

"No!" He shook her once more before he pulled her to him so they were face to face with one another. "I was with you for _three years_. You never kissed me like the way you kissed him. And you know what? That's not right. _I_ deserve to be the first. I was your first everything else. It only makes sense that I get _there_ before _he_ does."

Before Riley could react or even really process what he said, his lips were pressed against hers once more. She tried to wiggle away from him, but his hands pinned her arms down by her sides. He pushed her backward on the bed as he continued to molest her mouth. Instinctively, she bit down as hard as she could on his lip to get him off of her. He pulled back long enough to smack her across the face. "I was willing to do it the easy way, but I guess you don't want that." He began to taste the blood in his mouth. If she thought that would deter him, she was mistaken. If anything, it just gave him more motivation to do it. She was his and apparently she needed to be reminded of that fact. "I'm going to be the first either way. I've earned that much from you."

Riley panicked. She knew exactly what was going to happen if she didn't get out of there as quickly as possible. He pressed his lips to hers once more. She wiggled underneath him as her adrenaline started to kick in. Charlie seemed so preoccupied on pinning her arms down that he forgot about her legs. She was thankful that her brain and her body finally seemed to be on the same wavelength. Every fiber of her being knew that she had to get out of that cabin. She channeled all of her strength to knee him in the groin.

Distracted by the sudden throbbing pain in between his legs, he loosened his grip on her. She quickly shoved him off of her as she scrambled to stand up. She took two steps toward the door before he threw his leg out to trip her up. She immediately fell to the ground, her head slamming on the hard wood floor.

Dazed, she was barely cognizant when Charlie flipped her over on her back before straddling her.

"Bitch," he spat before he balled up his fist and punched her. A loud cracking sound followed by her gut-wrenching screams echoed throughout the room as blood began to pour from her nose. Completely unfazed, Charlie took her face in between his hands and slammed it into the floor once more.

Riley's vision started to blur, her ears ringing as a result of the two blows to her head. She could tell that Charlie was yelling something at her. His lips were moving, but she couldn't hear anything. She just felt so tired now. As her eyelids began to close, she felt his hands on her stomach as he began to tug her shirt up. Feeling the cold floor on her back snapped Riley back into consciousness. She had to get out of there. She wasn't sure if she still had the capacity to get her limbs to move, but she knew she had to try. She wasn't going to let this happen. Charlie had manipulated and abused her for too long just to be allowed to take away the last first thing she could give someone. She'd rather die trying than endure whatever sick plan he had for her.

As he tried to lift her shirt over her bra, she felt around for anything she could throw at him or hit him with so she could get way. It took her just a second to find one of Maya's snowboarding shoes, which laid right by her head. She was never more grateful for her friend's messiness. Riley quickly reached for it and brought it down on Charlie's head as hard as she could. He rolled away from her, grabbing his head.

Riley knew this was her last chance to get away. Once she stood up, she quickly sprinted toward the door and any chance of freedom.

She didn't have to run far before Maya and Farkle saw her disheveled figure. "RILEY?!" Maya ran to meet her best friend. One look at her and Maya knew something terrible had happened. Blood continued to poor from the brunette's nose. She looked completely dazed and scared. She wasn't wearing a coat or any shoes. She was shaking. "W-W-What happened? Riles, who did THIS?!"

Farkle took off his coat and draped it around the now sobbing Riley. "C-C-Charlie," she quivered as her legs finally gave out from her. Everything that just happened came rushing back to Riley. She felt her head was about to explode. As her adrenaline began to subside, she began to feel the excruciating pain that came from her nose.

Maya caught her as they both gently fell to the snow covered ground. "WHAT?!" She blinked several times. What was going on? What had happened? Just a few minutes earlier, Riley was perfectly fine. Maya's brain was on overdrive. Charlie did this? Charlie Gardener?! She looked all around them as an immeasurable rage filled the blonde. "Where is he? I'm gonna KILL THAT ASSHOLE!"

"N-N-No," Riley shrieked, her sobs becoming more violent. She couldn't risk Maya finding him. Riley was fairly sure she had injured Charlie, but she didn't want any of her friends to get hurt because of her.

Farkle, who had simply watched their whole exchange, somehow finally found his voice. He couldn't believe anything that was going on. He felt his own anger grow at the thought of anyone laying a hand on Riley. She was like a sister to him—someone he would protect with his life. Seeing her battered brought up a feeling in Farkle he didn't think he was capable of: complete and utter rage. "I'm going to go get help."

"No," Riley begged as she looked up at one of her best friends. "Don't go." She couldn't be alone. Not now. Not ever again.

"You're safe," Maya told her as she carefully embraced her friend. She looked over at Farkle and nodded her head, a signal for him to go get help.

Once he left, Maya simply held her best friend. In her mind, she dared Charlie to show himself to her. She was small, but Maya had taken karate classes off and on ever since she was little. That combined with the intense desire to kill him would be enough to wipe away any hesitation she had about being left alone with Riley outside. She hoped that she got the chance to show him just how much she hated him.

* * *

Lucas and Zay were laughing as they relaxed in the lodge. "How do you get used to this? The snow? The cold?"

"You're looking at it all wrong," Zay chuckled. "You go snowboard for a little while…or you know, just stand there with the snowboard, and wait for some cutie to come up and want you to snuggle with them to keep warm."

Lucas threw his head back as he laughed. Once he recovered from his friend's comments, he looked over at him. "Ok. Let me ask again. So how do _you_ stay warm?"

Zay didn't have a chance to reply as they both saw a frantic Farkle run into the lodge. He turned to the guys. "Have either of you seen Mr. Matthews?"

"I think he's back in the guys cabin or maybe by the lifts to make sure everyone is off the slopes," Lucas told him. He stood up as he noticed his friend's distress. "What's going on Farkle?"

"I…uhh…" he looked around the lodge. "Um…sit in this chair," he commanded.

He looked at the chair and back at Farkle, a perplexed look on his face. "What?"

"Just sit."

Reluctantly, Lucas sat down. Farkle took off his scarf and tied his left arm to the back of the wooden chair.

Lucas was completely lost. What was going on? Was his friend trying to tie him to the chair? "Farkle, what are you—"

Farkle immediately stopped what he was doing to look at his friend, his anger and anxiety finally starting to bubble over. He needed to get help. Mr. Matthews was nowhere to be found. He needed Lucas to help him, but he knew that it was a risk. One he had to take. "Don't mistake my size and demeanor for a lack of crazy…cause I got it and I'll use it. So stay where you are." He quickly finished tying the scarf as tight as he could.

"Ok." Lucas started to feel nervous. He had never seen Farkle act like this before. His friend was normally calm, but Lucas could tell that Farkle was barely keeping his composure. He knew he had to play along in order to understand what was going on.

Farkle took a step back, unsure as to how to tell Lucas what happened. He took a deep breath. "I'm your best friend and I need you to trust me."

Zay tapped Farkle on the shoulder. "I'm his best friend."

Farkle glared at him. If Zay only knew, he wouldn't be arguing over semantics with him. "If you were his best friend, you'd know to tie him up right now."

Zay rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Look, I'm just gonna do it. I don't need an explanation." He took his own scarf and tied Lucas's other arm around his back.

Once Farkle felt that Lucas was securely tied in the chair, he felt a little better about filling him in. "I'm going to tell you something bad and I need you to not turn into Texas Lucas."

Lucas looked down. He was tied to a chair. What could have possibly happened that Farkle seemed worried about his current mental state? "Farkle, nothing is going to turn me back into that."

Farkle took a deep breath. "Something's happened to Riley."

The smile dropped from Lucas's face. He narrowed his eyes at Farkle as he tried to remain calm. Something happened to Riley? Why were they just standing around? Where was she? He had only seen her about half an hour ago. She was supposed to meet up with them at any minute. What was going on? He lowered his voice. "What?"

Farkle swallowed at the complete change in his friend's demeanor. This wasn't going to be easy. "I-I don't know what all happened, but she's with Maya right now, and the only thing Maya could get out of her before I left was that…Charlie…h-he beat her. It's bad, Lucas."

Red. That's all Lucas saw as he sat in the chair. While Farkle began to explain to him what he witnessed, Lucas suddenly felt every bit of rage he had ever had-every bit of anger that he had so meticulously tried to let go of-come slamming back into him in the span of a millisecond. He stopped listening to Farkle as he looked down to examine his surroundings. This chair. It was the only thing that separated him from her. The only thing that kept him from finding Charlie and snapping his neck. It took Lucas very little effort to break the back of the chair off, instantly freeing his arms. He ripped one of the scarves off of his arms before he walked out of the lodge without so much as a word to anyone.

Zay and Farkle stood there dumbfounded for a moment. They exchanged a glance before they both ran out the door.

* * *

 _ **A/N: I'm so sorry if this chapter seems disjointed. The main part through the end was written back when I began the story. I had to change some of it around to reflect the different direction I took with the story. So, I'm sorry if this was a sub-par chapter, but honestly...it took a lot out of me emotionally to write this. As I read through it about the tenth time while making revisions, I finally reached my breaking point. I'm 99% sure that was the hardest thing I have ever written or will ever write.**_

 _ **I'm also fairly certain I am disappointing a few of you with this chapter, and I'm sorry if that's the case. I've always had a plan for this story, and though some of it has changed, this chapter was always a part of the overall plan. If you think it makes the story generic, I'm sorry. I really do appreciate all of the continued support that I receive with this story.**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N: Thank you ALL for being so encouraging with the direction I took with this story. I never expected that much feedback and positivity. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to write, so to get that much support for it means the world to me. Thank you.**_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Two

He vaguely heard Farkle yell that they were going to call 911 as they continued to search for Riley's father. Lucas didn't say anything in return. He only had one goal in mind: find her. He didn't know the extent of her injuries or what exactly happened. All he heard was that _he_ had beat her. His clenched his fists as he jogged toward the girls' cabin, the sound of his feet crunching the snow echoed all around him.

It didn't take long to find her. She was maybe fifty feet from outside the girls' cabin. He ran to them as quickly as his legs could carry him. As he drew closer, he noticed that Maya had cradled Riley in her arms as they both cried. The sight broke his heart.

Lucas took a deep breath when he finally reached them. He knew that he had to remain as calm as he could around her. The last thing he wanted was for her to know about the war that currently raged inside him.

He carefully knelt down next to her. She didn't seem to notice him at first because her head rested on Maya's shoulder, her hair covering her entire face. He slowly reached out to gently pull back the hair from the side of her face. He tried his best not to react when he saw her. It was dark outside, save for one outside light from the cabin that shone next to them. She was cloaked in shadows mostly, but he could still see her bloodied nose. Bruises were already forming on her cheek and underneath her right eye.

As he accidentally brushed her now bruising cheek, Riley flinched. She lifted her tired eyes to him as tears silently slid down her cheeks.

Lucas swallowed harshly when her eyes met his. He had no idea what had just transpired, but this was far worse than anything he could have imagined. She had to get to a hospital. He couldn't tell if any part of her was broken from where they were currently crouched. He automatically clenched his fists as he tried to remain calm. He could tell that she was scared to death. The last thing she needed was to see the worst side of him. "What happened?"

"L-L-Lucas, I-I…" It was as if she couldn't think, couldn't speak. She didn't want to tell him what happened. She didn't want him to find Charlie. She looked back down at the ground as she tried to bite back the next wave of tears that threatened to fall.

"Shh," Maya soothed as she rubbed Riley's back. "Farkle went to get your dad."

She took a shaky breath as she tried to compose her thoughts. When she gazed back up at Lucas, she noticed the tears that swam in his eyes. "I-I thought it was over when I broke up with him. I couldn't," her face scrunched up as she continued to try to fight her need to cry. "I knew I couldn't get you involved with it."

Lucas's mind began to implode. This wasn't the first time something like this happened?! He looked down at the ground as he subconsciously clenched his jaw. He knew something was off about Charlie. He had managed to convince himself that it was just his own petty jealousies. He hated that his first instinct about Riley's ex had been right all along. "How long," Lucas finally asked her.

Riley didn't respond, she didn't even look at him. She turned her head back around as she leaned on Maya's shoulder.

Was she trying to protect him or Charlie right now? Lucas wasn't sure, but he knew that he had to know everything he could about this. "How long," he repeated, slower this time. His fury was already off the charts, but he knew he had to continue to remain calm right now…for her.

She closed her eyes as another tear slid down her cheek. "I-It started during play rehearsals," she finally confessed.

"WHAT," Maya and Lucas simultaneously shouted.

Riley turned her head to look at Lucas. He was trying to remain calm, but Riley could see all of the anger that bubbled underneath the surface. She didn't want him to get pulled back into who he was back in Texas. Not now, not ever, and definitely not because of her. "N-Not like this…he just grabbed me and left…bruises." She swallowed. One looked from him and she knew that she had to continue. "A-And when I told him about…" she let her words hang in the air. She didn't want Lucas to feel any guilt about any of it. None of this was his fault. "That's when he hit me. I broke up with him. A-And tonight…," tears fell out of her eyes as she began to fully understand everything that happened, "I-I-I thought that…i-it was over…that it was done. Oh my God," she felt her breathing get shallow as she began to hyperventilate. Her world began to crash all around her. She was in so much pain, but she knew that it could have gotten so much worse.

"Shh," Maya gently pulled her back in for a hug. She looked up at Lucas. He began to look all around them as a million thoughts seemed to race through him. Maya knew exactly what was on his mind. "Lucas, don't."

"Don't what," he said as he moved to stand up. He felt like a caged wild animal. He began to think about all of the ways he could torture the guy. He could punch him in the face. He could break every limb he had. He could do about a million things to him to ensure that he never laid his eyes on her again. He wanted to kill him.

"I know what you're thinking. Trust me, I'm thinking the same thing, but you can't. Let the school handle it. You can't get kicked out…or worse." She looked down at the sobbing girl in her arms. "She wouldn't be able to deal with that."

Lucas continued to look around them as he tried to think about where Charlie could have gone. "Maya, he doesn't get to get away with this with just an expulsion. Look at what he did!" Lucas clenched his fists once more. He was no longer seeing red. He saw white. White-hot rage finally spilled over into his very core. This guy deserved to die, but not quickly. Oh no. Lucas had already devised about a hundred ways to torture the bastard first. "Do you know where he is?"

She shook her head. "I haven't seen him. Lucas, don't go! I'm telling you now that if you search for him, if you find him, you won't be able to come back from it."

The Lucas that they all knew, the Lucas he wanted to be, the Lucas he thought he finally was seemed to be gone. He had to find Charlie. "No, he needs to know. I need to—"

"Don't," Riley begged. She turned her head to him. "Y-You can't. You'll get expelled and arrested and t-t-then I won't be able to see you…please." She sat up as she looked up at Lucas. So much had been destroyed in a matter of moments. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle it if he got destroyed too. "P-Please don't go!"

Every single instinct Lucas had screamed for him to go, save one. His heart. He knew that she was right. If he found Charlie, and didn't actually kill the guy, he would definitely get kicked out of school and probably worse. He would be exactly who he was in Texas-someone he had spent the better part of the last few months trying to not be. He wanted to be worthy of her.

She didn't tell him about any of this. Because she didn't want to lose him. She didn't want him to go after Charlie. Lucas let out a long breath. "Ok," he told her with the same gentleness as he had before they kissed earlier.

Maya was completely taken aback. She thought for sure that he would immediately hunt Charlie down like the dog that he was, but one plea from Riley and he completely changed his mind. It was at that moment that Maya realized that Lucas was head over heels in love with her best friend.

Lucas's protective instincts kicked in. He had hoped that once he and his mother were finally rid of his father's wrath that he would never have to use his experiences in that area again. He hated that he knew so much about the subject. "We need to get help. Farkle and Zay went to find your dad, but we have to get you inside. Where…." His face twitched at the thought of his next question, "Where did he…hit you?"

"Head…nose…stomach."

Lucas crouched down as he scooped her up in his arms. She winced slightly, which made him want to murder Charlie even more. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice as gentle as she had ever heard.

"It's ok," she sniffed as she curled in closer to him. She loved Maya and the fact that she was there for her every second of this ordeal, but now that she was in his arms, she finally felt safe. It felt like she could breathe again.

"It's going to be ok now," he promised her. "You won't ever have to deal with him again. I'll make sure of it."

Riley closed her eyes as he carried her back to the lodge, Maya trailing behind them as she tried to call Mr. Matthews once more.

Lucas looked down to see Riley close her eyes. "Don't fall asleep."

"I'm so tired," she replied, her eyes still closed.

"You might have a…concussion. Please don't fall asleep until the doctors say it's ok, ok?"

She slowly opened her eyes. "Ok."

* * *

Lucas was relieved when he noticed the blue lights as they got closer and closer to the main lodge. He was even more grateful when he spotted an ambulance right behind one of the police cars. Lucas headed toward the ambulance when he noticed Farkle, Zay, and Riley's father run toward them.

"Oh my God," Cory gasped as he rushed to them. "Riley, I-I-I'm so sorry. I was making sure that everyone was off the slopes. Are you ok?"

Riley didn't speak as one of the paramedics had pulled out a gurney for her to lay down on. Lucas gently sat her down on it so she could get checked out. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding as he walked over to Farkle and Zay. Once he reached them, he turned around to watch the paramedics examine her nose. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Where is he?" The tenderness that he showed with Riley was gone as his anger once again reigned over him.

Farkle's eyes ticked over to one of the police cars. "Dave and some of the other guys found him in the guys' cabin. He's in one of the cars now."

"You didn't kill him," Zay noted.

"I couldn't." Lucas sighed as his eyes drifted over to the police car that held Charlie. That wasn't exactly true. He could have, and he would have been perfectly happy to do so. He still couldn't help but think about going over to the car that held the bastard, climb in the driver's side seat, drive it toward the edge of a cliff, put the car in neutral and push it off. He shook his head as his eyes wandered back over to Riley. Her father held her hand as the paramedics were now examining her eyes with a small flashlight. Lucas wasn't sure if it was Mr. Matthews who couldn't let go of her or if it was Riley who couldn't let go of her father. Either way, it made Lucas hate Charlie even more.

"Why?"

It was a question Lucas had begun to ask himself as he carried Riley to the main lodge. He could have found him. He could have beat him within an inch of his pathetic life, but he didn't. Something had stopped him dead in his tracks. He knew exactly what it was. "Because she asked me not to."

* * *

She had to stay at the hospital overnight. Maya was the only person allowed in her room besides Cory and Topanga. When she was finally allowed to see Riley, she immediately curled up in the small hospital bed with her friend.

Lucas, Farkle, and Zay refused to leave the hospital waiting room. Farkle and Zay slid a few chairs together so they could get some rest while Lucas just sat in one of the chairs, his elbow propped up on the arm of the chair, his fingers lightly rubbing his temples as he tried to digest everything that had happened—at least the parts of it that he knew.

He beat her. And it wasn't the first time. When Riley told him how long ago it had started and how it happened more than once, he couldn't help but feel extremely guilty about everything he did to fuel Charlie's anger. He had pushed her so hard to leave Charlie, to be with him. He grew so frustrated with her, all the while she was dealing with—Lucas shifted in his seat. He knew he was the reason for a lot of that pain. He challenged Charlie every chance he got. If Lucas couldn't be with her, he had wanted to make sure that whoever was with her would be worthy of her.

Lucas should have seen the signs. He knew from his own past that long sleeve shirts were a sign of a victim hiding their abuse. He didn't even think to look for anything though. And everything began at the beginning of fall. He just thought that she was cold natured. Then there was her behavior during play rehearsals. She had been so warm one moment, then completely cold the next. He didn't really know her then. He wasn't sure if her erratic behavior was a part of who she was. He should've noticed, he should've seen it.

He bent his head down further as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He really could have killed Charlie. If he had seen him before the police found him, Lucas knew that nothing could have stopped him from ending Charlie's miserable existence. But she asked him not to. She begged for him not to go. God…how could one person completely change another?

He knew the answer to that. It was love.

It was as simple and as complicated as that. He loved her. A part of him knew it the day he saw her on the subway. It wasn't how she looked—though she looked like sheer perfection. It was so much more than that. She made him want to be a better man. She did make him into a better man.

He looked around the room once more. Farkle and Zay were fast asleep in their makeshift beds. He let out a long breath as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

Riley definitely made him better. Somehow, she had managed to rekindle his friendship with Zay, with some help from Farkle. Lucas knew he'd always be grateful to both of them for that. Over the past few years, he had really missed his best friend. Riley taught him that anger had the ability to rip your own self to shreds and that the only thing more powerful than anger was forgiveness. Lucas forgave Zay for abandoning him after he got kicked out of school, and Zay had forgiven Lucas for his past transgressions.

And then there was Farkle. An unlikely friendship if you'd ask anyone. They had very little in common, but somehow Farkle became one of the few people in New York that Lucas really felt was worth knowing. He was a lot like Riley. He would do anything to protect his friends. People like that were so rare in this world, and somehow they took him in. They looked at Lucas not for who he appeared to be, but for who he really was and who he wanted to be.

He shifted in his seat once more as he pulled out his cell phone. _4:30._ There was no way he was going to sleep. He wanted to be awake just incase she needed him.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

She was grateful that school was out for the next two weeks due to the holidays. She wasn't in the mood to deal with all of the pitiful looks and questions about everything that had happened. She was still trying to process everything her own self. Luckily, her nose wasn't broken. It was swollen and bruised, but the x-ray showed that it wasn't broken. She also had a concussion and a few bruised ribs. Nothing that should leave visible scars. She was grateful for that. The mental scars of that night were enough for her to handle. If she had to look at herself in the mirror everyday and saw any trace of him or that night, she would definitely go insane.

By the time Christmas came around, she had already been to her therapist a few times to discuss what had happened that night and everything that happened leading up to it. She also had to talk about her entire relationship with Charlie. It was something she didn't want to do. She didn't want to go to therapy. She just wanted to forget that any of it had ever happened. Deep down, she knew that talking about it would help in the long run, but all she wanted in the short run was to just be normal again. She didn't want to be a battered woman. She didn't want to be forever associated with him and that night.

She begged her parents to not let her grandparents and aunt and uncles come to visit as they did every year. She didn't want anyone to see her as she currently was: bruised and battered. Christmas, one of her favorite times of the year, would need to be postponed.

Maya had been glued to her side ever since that night. Christmas Eve dinner, usually the most hectic night in Riley's apartment, was quiet as it was just her family, Maya, and Maya's mother, Katy. After dinner, Riley insisted that Maya spend Christmas Eve night with her mother. She somehow managed to convince her that she would be ok to be alone for one night. Maya decided to compromise. The only way Maya would agree to it was if she could come over first thing Christmas morning. Riley agreed.

Riley slid her ear buds in her ears as she laid down in her bed, her body tired, but her mind fully awake. She began to replay that night over and over again, something that began to happen whenever she had two seconds to herself. How did it all get out of hand so fast? He seemed fine. He seemed like the Charlie she had known for years. She thought she handled the breakup well. There was a problem between them, one that she couldn't see a resolution to, so she ended it. Couples break up every day for a million different reasons, but for some reason he still came after her. As she looked back, she knew she should've told someone about what then felt like small incidents. Maybe all of this could've been prevented? Her body still hurt, her bruises were just starting to fade, but the memories of that awful night were seared into her brain. One of the best days of her life was now one of the worst.

She saw her phone light up, but chose to ignore it. She didn't reach for it. She didn't want to. She just wanted to stay in her little bubble, one of the few safe places that she knew anymore. As the song switched over, she heard a tap on her window. She groaned. Maya. She sat up and went over to the now always locked bay window. When she saw Lucas, her eyes grew big. She unlocked it before quickly reaching for a sweatshirt. She slid it over her head as he came into her window.

"What are you doing here," she whispered. She had only seen Lucas a few times since that night, and never alone. Maya was always around, and whenever he came by, Farkle and Zay were usually with him.

She wanted to apologize to him. She wanted to thank him. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but she had no idea where to begin.

"I needed to see you." He knew that Maya had been glued to Riley's side ever since everything happened. He wanted to talk to her, to see her without an audience, but at the same time, it hurt to see her. He had come to see her a couple of times in the last week, but not nearly as much as he wanted to.

His guilt over the whole situation worsened every time he looked at her marred face. He knew that she was careful to cover the rest of her body to hide the damage that Charlie inflicted, but Lucas caught a glimpse of the bruises that peppered her arms before she put a sweatshirt on over her tank top. It killed him to see her this way, but staying away from her wasn't helping to lessen his guilt. He knew he had to be there for her. He wanted to be there for her.

She gave him a sad smile. "I've heard that one before." It felt like another lifetime ago. That night held some of her favorite memories of him. That was the night he had completely opened up to her, told her things that she knew he didn't tell anyone else. It was the night she realized that things with Charlie weren't going to get any better.

"Believe it or not, I needed to see you more now than the other time." He looked around the room as he briefly wondered where Maya was. He figured that he would've woken them both up, but the blonde was nowhere in sight. It was Christmas Eve, so maybe she had decided to be with her mom? Either way, Lucas was grateful to actually have some time alone with Riley.

Riley crossed her arms over her chest. "It's Christmas Eve. You should be with your mom."

"She's fine. I'm more worried about you."

Riley looked at him for a long moment. She regretted making Maya leave. Tonight was the first night she was forced to be alone since it all happened. She thought she would be able to sleep. She thought she would be fine alone.

She wasn't.

"I'd rather not talk about it," she admitted. She realized that she was scared to be alone. She was scared that he would come after her again—even after her father's reassurance that he wouldn't. She didn't know where he was. She didn't want to know how her father knew that he wouldn't come around. She wanted to completely forget about him. She wanted someone to take every memory she had with him over the last three years and shred them into tiny pieces, then light them on fire. She wanted to burn him from her mind completely. She wanted to feel normal again. She wanted to smile again. She wanted to be happy. She didn't want to be scared anymore.

Lucas saw the wave of emotions that danced across Riley's face. He knew that she was only just beginning to process everything. He wasn't going to push her into doing or saying anything she wasn't ready for. He just needed her to know that he was there, and would continue to be no matter what. "We don't have to. I just need to be with you." It was selfish, he knew that, but he couldn't help it. The pull to her was undeniable.

She swallowed. "How long can you stay?" She was afraid of the answer. A few minutes, an hour? She knew that no matter what he said, she would want more.

"Until you kick me out."

"What if I don't want you to leave?" The words came out before she could even think. She knew she was being incredibly needy right now, but he was here, in her room, on Christmas Eve. And she felt so safe with him. She hadn't slept well at all in the last week, but she knew that if he stayed, she might know one night's peace.

He took off his coat and laid it across the bay window. He turned to her and shrugged. "Then I won't." It was that simple. He had barely slept in the last week. He was worried about her. Maybe if he was just in the same room as her, he would be able to find some peace about everything that happened. He walked toward the chair in the corner of her room.

"Wait."

He looked at her, confusion etched across his face. Was all of that a hallucination because of his severe lack of sleep? Did she not just ask him to stay? Was he dreaming all of this?

She took a deep breath. "You can lay next to me…if you want to. If not, that's fine."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

Lucas sat on the bed as he slid his boots off. He turned to Riley once more. "You're sure?"

She nodded once more. She watched as he laid down on top of the covers, still careful to maintain some distance between them. "How's your break been?" A weird question, but she wanted to have a lighthearted conversation with him. She knew that if anyone was capable of getting her mind off of her current predicament, it would be him.

Lucas knew what she was trying to do. If he was going to be perfectly honest, he would tell her about everything that had been running through his mind ever since she got released from the hospital, but he knew that now wasn't the time for that conversation. He had so many things he wanted to ask her, so many things that he needed to tell her, but he knew that she was completely vulnerable right now and just wanted relief from what had happened, not to relive it.

"Uh…it's been great being out of school," he replied lamely as he searched his mind for anything else that didn't involve the junior class trip upstate. "Oh! The guys and I have been hanging out pretty much every day."

That made Riley happy. She knew that the guys had gotten closer to Lucas, but to know that they were becoming inseparable made her smile. "Video games?"

"For the most part." He paused. He wasn't sure if he should even bring up what had happened earlier in the week, but he knew it might make her smile. "We went to the rec center one day and played basketball."

Riley's eyes widened. "Farkle played basketball?"

"Ehhhh," he hedged. "We _tried_ to teach him. At first, it was a disaster. He decided to use physics to calculate the angle and velocity of the shot."

Riley wrinkled her nose. That sounded just like Farkle. It also sounded completely weird. Physics and sports? "How did that go?"

"He hit me in head with the basketball," Lucas deadpanned.

For the first time since everything happened, Riley laughed. It wasn't just a giggle. It was a full on genuine Riley laugh. She sheepishly looked over at Lucas who was chuckling at her reaction. "I'm sorry," she said as she continued to laugh. "Did it hurt?" The mental image of Farkle hitting Lucas in the head with a basketball was enough to bring tears to her eyes, and for the first time in a week, her tears were because of something other than that night.

He missed her laugh. He would take a million basketballs to the head if it brought just a moment of joy to her. "I was actually anticipating it, oddly enough." He shook his head. "Afterward, he decided to use physics to help Zay and me shoot more accurately."

Riley wiped her eyes as she tried to control her laughter. "How did that go?"

"Really well. Both of us were able to make full court shots."

"Maybe you should try out for the team next year?"

He let out a breath. "Maybe. I'm more into baseball, and that wouldn't really conflict with the school plays as badly as basketball would."

"The school plays?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "I thought you only did it to get out of detention."

"At first. But I actually enjoyed it." It surprised him. He had never acted in anything, besides those little class plays everyone had to participate in when he was in elementary school. He knew Riley was a part of the reason for the change of heart, but she wasn't the only reason. If it wasn't for the play, he might not have been able to become friends with Farkle.

It also allowed him to see the world through a different perspective. He always thought Romeo was a chump, but after playing him, he was able to see the world through Romeo's eyes. He felt like he understood him. It was pretty incredible to get into the mind of a character like that.

"Are you going to try out for the spring play?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Are you?"

Riley looked down as she fidgeted with her hands. "I don't know." She sighed. "I might sit that one out. It's just with everything going on right now, I'm not sure that it's the best idea, you know?"

"I think it would be a needed distraction, but I can understand."

"I just know that I'm going to have to go to court at some point and with therapy and stuff...I just don't know." The last thing she wanted to do was to bring all of this up and bring them both down again.

Lucas felt like an idiot. Therapy. Court. She had a lot she was going to have to go through in the coming months. She probably wouldn't even have time for something as trivial as play practice. "I'm sorry."

She looked up at the ceiling as she let out a long breath. "Don't be. For a few minutes my mind was off of all that stuff. And I actually laughed."

They were both silent for a few moments. Riley knew it was getting late. She felt tired, but was afraid that if she went to sleep, that he would leave and she would be forced to be alone once more. "Can you stay the whole night," she asked softly.

He didn't hesitate. "Absolutely."

She slid closer to him as she laid her head on his chest. She knew that maybe it was too much to ask for, but she just wanted to feel safe for a night. It was Christmas Eve. The only thing she wanted was right there with her: peace. She closed her eyes. For the first time since that night, she didn't see a vision of Charlie on top of her, hitting her, pulling at her shirt. Instead, she saw the beautiful afterglow of a summer rain. "Lucas?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're here."

He smiled. "Because I'm a great pillow?"

"Not just tonight." She opened her eyes. "I'm glad you moved to New York." She lifted her head up to look at him.

He turned his head toward her. Those eyes. Those hypnotic mahogany eyes that haunted every single one of his dreams. He felt that she could see right through him. "I'm glad I moved too."

As she drifted off to sleep, Lucas's thoughts wandered back to where they had been ever since she came home from the hospital—when things began to settle down. She had kept something from him. Something big. Something he could have helped her with. She heard him talk about his relationship with his father and his mother and she seemed so supportive of it all: his desire to change and his motives for doing what he did in order to protect his mother. All the while, she had been suffering at the hands of that-. Lucas closed his eyes as he felt his rage bubble back up. He wanted to kill Charlie. It was a feeling that hadn't subsided in the least since everything happened. It was feeling that he suspected he would simply have to live with, like whenever he thought about his father.

But _Riley_. She kept it all from him. She didn't trust him enough to tell him. Even if she didn't feel like she could have at the time, she had plenty of opportunities to since then. She said that she trusted him completely, but he couldn't help but to doubt all of that now. If she trusted him, she would have found some way to tell him.

He felt like she could see right through him with one look—that she knew when he was being truthful or not. He felt completely exposed when she looked at him. It was a feeling that had always scared him, but oddly enough, had begun to comfort him—until that night—until everything changed. Before, he thought that he could see through her the same way, but he realized that he had never been more wrong. Now, it made him question everything between them.

Lucas absentmindedly began to trace circles on the small of her back as he heard her breathing deepen, a sign that she had finally fallen asleep.

He felt so lost now, so helpless. It was a feeling he hadn't experienced since before he moved to New York. It was a feeling he had hoped to never experience again. He looked down at her. He would be there for her. That was something that would never change. She was a part of him now, the best part, but the fact remained that she didn't trust him enough to tell him what happened with Charlie. He knew that was something that he just couldn't 'get over'.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

Riley still wasn't up for much company when her annual New Year's Eve party rolled around. In fact, she cancelled the actual party, and just opted to be around her friends. She was never a big fan of those parties anyway. It started when she was in 8th grade, and with every passing year, the party just got bigger and bigger. She always ended up speaking to the same six or seven people while trying to make sure no one broke anything too valuable. Afterward, she and Maya would spend the entire next day cleaning everything up. With everything that happened, she couldn't stomach the idea of having the entire junior class in her apartment. She just wanted a peaceful night with her best friends.

And that was all she wanted.

Peace.

She was tired of going to the doctor. She was tired of talking to her new pal the therapist. She just wanted to feel normal again. Her biggest fear was that while Charlie hadn't completely destroyed her, he had left her emotionally scarred for the rest of her life. How was anyone going to be able to love her after they found out what she had been through? She felt dirty. Though he hadn't actually raped her, the thought that it almost happened made Riley rub her skin raw every time she stepped into a scalding hot shower.

She wasn't sure how she was going to go back to school. She knew that they all knew what happened. Most of the junior class witnessed Charlie getting carted off to jail while she left for the hospital in an ambulance. Going through the breakup was bad enough, but the thought of all of those sympathetic faces made her want to scream. She didn't want to be the victim. She didn't want to be known as the girl Charlie Gardener attacked on the junior class trip. She just wanted to be Riley Matthews. Why couldn't she just be Riley Matthews?

She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard the door buzzer ring followed by a "It's Farkle." She sat in her living room bay window as she watched her best friend float to the door, a dreamy smile plastered on her face. She knew that Maya was anticipating her first kiss with Farkle tonight. Because of Maya's insistence that she be with Riley at all times, she wasn't able to go on her first official date with Farkle, a decision that Riley felt horrible about. She knew that Maya was beginning to put her life on hold for her. She didn't want that. Maya deserved to go out on the first of what Riley knew would be many dates with Farkle. She deserved to have fun with someone and not worry about her broken best friend. Maya deserved the world. She knew that if anyone could give it to her, it would be Farkle.

Riley couldn't help but to want the same for herself. Lucas hadn't mentioned their impending first date. Every time they saw each other after Christmas, he seemed distracted. Gone were the flirty conversations and warm smiles. Instead, they had been replaced by forced smiles and small talk about everything but themselves. Was he rejecting her because of what happened? Did he think she was dirty too? Did he think that she was asking for it or even—God forbid— _wanted_ Charlie? She closed her eyes as she tried to push that thought away. That couldn't be it.

As the door buzzer buzzed once more, her heart stopped. She was only expecting two other people, and she figured they would probably come over together since they only lived two blocks away from each other. "It's Zay." Riley paused as she waited to hear Lucas's voice. "…And Lucas."

She took a deep breath as she got off the bench and walked over to the door. "Come on up," she said. She looked down at her appearance. Maya had encouraged her to dress up a little for their friends' night in. She opted for a gray slip dress with sequins on the bodice. She wore a lavender cardigan over top of it to mask some of the yellowing bruises on her arms.

She opened the door just as Zay had reached up to knock on it. "Hey," she greeted.

"Hey Riley," Zay smiled as he reached forward to give her a hug, careful not to squeeze. Her bruises were fading, but he knew that her ribs were still pretty sore.

"Hey Zay," she replied. She pulled back. "Happy New Year."

Though she addressed Zay, she couldn't help but keep her focus on the guy standing awkwardly behind him. He hadn't looked at her yet. Instead, he seemed to be preoccupied with staring at something on the floor. Zay glanced at Lucas before he looked back at Riley. "I'll just…go see Farkle and Maya," he said awkwardly as he ducked out of Riley's stare.

"H-Hi," Riley finally stammered.

"Hey," Lucas replied solemnly as he finally looked up at her, a forced smile on his lips.

Riley wanted to throw up on the spot. She knew that something was very, very wrong. She felt her heart sink. She swallowed to keep from bursting into tears. "Um…Happy New Year."

"Thanks. You too." She looked perfect. So perfect that it nearly took his breath away. As he continued to allow himself to look at the angelic vision that was Riley Mathews, the guilt that had plagued him for the last two weeks swept over him once more. Sleep had eluded him. He had lost his appetite. His thoughts were completely consumed by that night. How could he have prevented it? Why didn't he see the signs? Why wasn't he there?

When he looked away from her, she looked down at the ground. "Um. I can take your coat."

He gave her another tight smile as he shrugged out of his coat and handed it to her. "Thanks."

"Yeah. S-Sure." She looked back into the living room. "Uh…pizza and snacks are on the table. Maya and Farkle are on the couch. Zay is…" she turned around, unable to find the teenager. When she heard her refrigerator door open, she let out a soft laugh, "in my refrigerator apparently."

Lucas took a few steps into the apartment before he turned to face her. "Are your parents here?"

Riley furrowed her eyebrows. He had barely said ten words to her and he wanted to know where her parents were? "Yeah. They're trying to get Auggie and his friend Dewey set up in his room for their sleepover so they don't bother us."

He let out a breath he didn't realize that he had been holding. "Oh. Ok." Small talk. Small talk wasn't going so well. Lucas hated that things had suddenly gotten like this between them. As she continued to heal, his dark thoughts about his inability to see it all coming continued to nag at him, worsening with every passing day. He felt a tremendous amount of guilt every time he thought about that night and the weeks and months that led up to it. He should have known. His guilt ate at him so much that now he could barely look at her.

Riley frowned. Lucas seemed relieved at that idea that her parents were home. She knew that most typical teenage boys would rather the girl's parents be otherwise engaged for the evening so said guy would have more of an opportunity to make a move on said girl. But he seemed ok with the idea that her parents would be around tonight. As in, she might not be getting her own kiss at midnight. When she noticed that he seemed to be looking everywhere but at her, she realized that having the guys over tonight was a terrible idea.

* * *

The group was fairly quiet compared to their usual laughter and banter. As it inched closer and closer to midnight, Riley's nerves began to take control over her. She had spent the better part of the night staring at him. Lucas wasn't being flirty with her. Lucas wasn't really talking to her. Lucas barely even looked at her. Was she that hideous now? She knew that she still looked pretty bad considering the events of a few weeks ago, but he had seen her a few times since then. He spent the night with her on Christmas Eve and still seemed more than supportive of her at the time. She even fell asleep on his chest. Did that not mean anything to him?

Finally, around 11:30, she had enough. She wasn't going to go into the New Year with a huge Charlie sized elephant in the room. "Lucas, can we talk?"

Lucas, who had been pretty successful with making casual small talk with the rest of his friends over the last few hours, felt his heart drop at her request. He had been brooding for the last week over Riley and everything that happened. He knew they needed to talk, to figure out where exactly to go from here, but he wasn't sure what he wanted anymore. So much had happened. He had been afraid to even look at her. Every time he did, his heart broke all over again. He couldn't help but feel completely guilty over every second of pain she endured because of that creep. Guilt for not being there for her. Guilt for being so untrustworthy that she didn't feel safe in telling him what had been going on between them. Guilt for knowing what he had to do now in order for them both to heal in the right way.

He simply nodded at her as he stood, grabbed his coat, and followed her out of the apartment and up to the roof of the apartment building.

Riley wasn't sure what she was going to say. She was fairly certain of what he would say. As she climbed the stairs to the roof, she mentally screamed at herself to not cry. She had cried so much over the last few weeks. She wasn't going to start off the New Year in tears. She just wanted a fresh start. She wanted to leave this year in the past. Though it contained so many wonderful memories, the bad ones seemed to completely eclipse the good ones now, and she just wanted to get rid of them all if it meant that somehow, they could all just move on. She walked toward the edge of the building so she could catch a glimpse of the New York City skyline. Of course a few buildings close to her apartment building marred her view, but she didn't care. She often came up to the rooftop to think, to dream. And here she was, about to confront the one person she wanted to be there with her. She knew what was going to happen before she even opened her mouth. She just needed to know why he was doing this.

She turned to look at him. "What's going on?"

Lucas swallowed. He should've known that she noticed his cool behavior towards her. He really didn't want to do this tonight, with everyone downstairs, but he didn't want to lie to her. He never wanted to lie to her. He decided to feign ignorance. "What are you talking about?"

Riley raised an eyebrow at him. Her face told him more than words ever could. She knew that he was hiding something from her, avoiding her even. He knew that he wouldn't be able to get off of that roof without telling her what he had been struggling with ever since Christmas.

He sighed. "Do you really want to get into it now? Here?"

Riley felt her heart stop as it dropped down into the pit of her stomach. So, she wasn't just being paranoid. This was real. Something was wrong, and Lucas was about to run away from her—from whatever they were, or could be. She took a shaky breath. "I don't…I don't want to start the New Year facing issues that happened in the previous one. I-I want a fresh start. So, yes. I want to get into it now."

Lucas hadn't quite decided on what to do. As he stood before her, as he saw the tears start to pool in her beautiful eyes, his heart lurched. He knew what he had to do, what had to happen next. He suddenly felt nauseous. "I think…I think we need to take a break from one another."


	25. Chapter 25

_**A/N: Let me just say that I have the BEST readers. You guys are so incredible and so passionate about these characters. I wasn't quite expecting the feedback that I got on the last chapter. Y'all are crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. THANK YOU ALL for the amazing feedback. I've said this a million times, but it inspires me more than anything to know that you're enjoying this.**_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five

It took her a moment to process the words that came tumbling out of his mouth. A break? A break from her? From them? Just when she felt like she needed him the most, he was going to abandon her? As she felt the desire to cry steadily grow stronger and stronger, she closed her eyes, begging herself to not cry. She could barely recognize her own voice as she managed to squeak out a response. "A break?"

He nodded solemnly as he looked at the ground. He knew he was just piling onto everything she had going on, but she wanted to talk. She wanted him to open up to her. He wasn't about to lie to her. He couldn't. Even though he knew this would kill him, he knew that it was the right thing to do. "A lot has happened, Riley, and I think you need to take some time to think about—"

As soon as he started to try to explain himself, Riley found some strength from somewhere within her shattered self to question him, challenge him. "No. I don't. I already did that after I broke up with..." She couldn't say his name. She wasn't sure why. She went to say it, but nothing came out. She looked up at the starless sky above them. "I took a few months to think about everything, dealt with what happened…" she looked back at him, "and I moved on."

He still couldn't meet her stare. He knew that if he did, he would give in. He would abandon this idea that they needed to work on themselves before they could ever think to come together as a couple. God. It would be so easy to give in, take her in his arms and promise to never leave. He knew that it would only be a temporary solution. He wanted Riley Matthews—every part of her, especially her trust. He knew as he stood on that roof that he didn't. "I know that. But so much has happened since then. Everything has changed, Riley."

Her face scrunched up as she continued to fight the now tidal wave of tears that seemed to flood her senses. She refused to give in to their urgency to flow from her eyes. She wasn't going to cry. She just wanted to know why he was giving up on them. "So…you think I'm dirty or something now, right? Because—" She stopped midsentence as she felt the first tear escape from her right eye. She knew she had just confessed her biggest fear to him. She knew that he somehow saw her as his redemption. He had placed her on a pedestal that she never wanted to be on. Now that he knew the darkness that surrounded him, he must think that she was somehow dirty or tainted. No longer the pure savior that he seemed to believe she was.

Lucas' head snapped up to look at her as he was taken aback by her question. Dirty? What was she talking about? How was that even possible? "No," he said, his voice louder than he intended it to be. Just as much as he needed her to know that they needed a break, he also needed her to know that it wasn't because of some misplaced train of thought that he somehow thought she was no longer 'clean'. He shifted on his feet as he tried to think of a way to tell her what he thought about her while explaining why they needed to take a step back from one another.

"Riley, you have been the best thing that's happened to me since I moved to the city. Hell, I would venture to say that you have been the best thing that's happened to me in a very, very long time." He took a deep breath as he took a step closer to her. "If it wasn't for you, I don't know if I would've survived in New York." He let his words hang between them as he tried to think about everything he needed to tell her. "I could never see you as anything less than who you really are: smart, caring, kind. You are everything I've ever dreamed of wanting, and so much more. I fell for you from the moment I saw you. I was completely drawn to you. And I fought it for so long. You were with…someone…and I was just an angry guy with a past that I'm not proud of. You deserved better. You still do."

Another tear slid from Riley's eyes. It was the left eye this time. She could barely see him as her eyes were completely filled up with unshed tears. She still tried with everything she had in her to fight the urge to let them escape. Lucas didn't need to see a blubbering girl with bruised ribs and a dented spirit. She knew that it would only make this easier for him. Because who would want to be with someone who cried all the time?

She cleared her throat as she tried to push those tears back down once more. "I want to be with you," she confessed. "I've wanted that for so long. I think ever since the day I met you." She took a step closer to him. "You're right. There's a pull between us. It's been there since the beginning. A-And I ran from it too. I tried to hide from it—from you. I pushed you away time and time again, but you still stuck around. You insisted that what was between us is real. And it is. Lucas," her voice cracked, "it's real. And we have the chance to be together now…but you don't want that."

Lucas's nose began to burn as he felt his own emotions rising to the surface. Seeing her stand before him, practically begging for him to do the one thing he wanted to do the most nearly broke him. It would be so incredibly easy to give in that moment. He wanted confess his undying love for her, tell her that they would get through this and anything else that came their way.

He wanted nothing more than to tell her that, to take all of her pain away, but he knew he couldn't because of one very big issue between them. "You don't trust me, Riley."

His voice was soft, so soft that Riley nearly missed his statement. It took her a second to piece together the words. Once she did, she began to violently shake her head. "You're wrong. I do. I trust you more than I trust most of the people in my life."

"No, you don't," he responded sadly, his resolve back in place. "You could've told me what happened, what had happened between him and you, but you didn't. Even when I…even when I told you about my childhood, my past with my father…you could've told me, Riley. And I would have listened. I would have been there. I would have helped."

Riley froze as her mind began to panic. She knew why she didn't tell him. She thought that was obvious. She didn't want him to try to fight her own conflicts for her. She didn't want him to get angry and go after him. She didn't want to lose him when she was so close to having him. Why couldn't he see that? "I was scared, Lucas! I was scared of what you would do—how you would react."

"Riley, who are you trying to protect?! Me or…" he felt his jaw clench. "Or Charlie."

Riley shook her head violently. Did he really think that she was trying to protect Charlie in all of this? She couldn't help it as the tidal wave began to over flow. She couldn't see him standing in front of her anymore as she felt herself begin to break down in front of him. "The last thing I want…is for you to get kicked out of school for fighting my battles for me!"

"That's just it, Riley!" He turned around as he felt tears form in his own eyes. He couldn't see her like that. It was killing him to know that he was the reason she was upset right now. She should have had an amazing evening. She should have been surrounded by all of her friends as she rang in the New Year. They should have kissed at midnight. They should be happy.

But here they were.

She had just confirmed what he had been afraid of since it all happened. He looked up at the dark sky above him, wishing that they could just go back. Go back so he could look for the signs. "I should've seen it." He looked back down at the ground, his body still turned away from her. "I know the signs. I've lived it. I…I didn't know to look." His voice cracked. "I'm so sorry."

Riley wiped her eyes. She could fix this. She had to fix this. "You didn't know. You couldn't have known."

"I know," he took a deep breath as he tried to steady his quaking voice, "I know that you didn't trust me for a long time, but…I thought that you had gotten there…if not when I put myself out there, then at least over the last month." He turned to face her. "I thought that we had gotten close…as friends if not something more. All I…all I wanted was your trust. And…I realized now that…I didn't have that. I never have."

Riley shook her head once more. "I trust you Lucas. I didn't tell anyone. Not even Maya."

"You didn't trust in _me_. Trust that I've changed. That I'm not who I was in Texas. When I found out…when Farkle told me what happened…I wanted to kill him, Riley. When I think about what happened…I want to kill him. When I look at you now, I want to kill him. The only thing that stopped me that night was you, your plea for me to not leave you, to not find him and beat the shit out of him for hurting you. You didn't trust me. Trust that I would do exactly what you would ask me to do."

"I was protecting you."

"I understand that, but I don't think you realize that I have changed. The anger is still there. It will always be there. It's as much a part of me as the good is. I've learned to live with it. It's what I've been trying to show you for the past several weeks. That you helped me find that balance. I want…I want to be with someone who trusts me. Who can find the good in me and trust that the light will always win out over the darkness. You don't believe that yet. And I need for you to."

"I do, Lucas."

He gave her a sad smile. "I wish I could believe you, but I don't. Riley, you can't even tell me what happened that night…or what happened those other times. And we both know why. You think I'll go back to who I was. I can't be with someone who is afraid to tell me everything because they're afraid of how I'll react. That's not fair to you or to me."

Riley looked back down. Her heart was breaking into a million pieces. "So, what happens now?"

"I want to be there for you. As a friend."

Was this really happening? Hadn't they been through enough already? Why couldn't they just move on? Start over? "So…that's it for us then? You don't…you don't care about me anymore?"

"I'm not saying that. I think we both need to take a step back from this. You need to heal from everything and I need to figure out how to prove myself to you."

She took a step toward him. "But Lucas, you have. I—"

"No. If I did, you wouldn't be standing in front of me with a concussion and bruised ribs."

"You didn't do this."

"No. I didn't." He knew that he wasn't the one who hurt her. He also knew that had he been a different person when they met, if he hadn't given her every reason to distrust him, that maybe this wouldn't have happened. "It doesn't mean that I don't feel guilty about it all every time I look at you."

Riley bit her bottom lip. "So, what? You're just going to stop being around me?"

"No. I don't want that. I want to be in your life, Riley. I just think that we need to cool it on the romantic stuff while we try to work on everything else."

She looked down. "You don't want to be with me."

"I want to be with you more than anything. You should know that. The fact that you're questioning it now lets me know that this is definitely the right decision. You need to trust me and trust how I feel about you. You need to know who I am. The real me."

Riley bit the inside of her cheek as she tried to hold back the tears that she knew were beginning to vacate her eyes. "You know…this is what he wanted all along."

Lucas slid his hands in his pockets as he diverted her gaze. He couldn't stand to see her cry. He had seen too much of it lately. The worse part about it was that this time, he was the reason for it. He knew he had to remain strong. He had to do this. "What?"

"Charlie. He got exactly what he want he wanted after all." She ran a hand through her hair. "He wanted to make sure that you never looked at me the same way again. That you would be so disgusted by me that you'd leave." She took a deep shaky breath. "Mission accomplished." When he didn't react to her words, she turned to leave.

She barely took three steps before she was spun around in the opposite direction. She gasped when she came face to face with Lucas. She didn't have time to form a reaction before his lips found hers in a burning kiss.

He pulled her close as she placed her hands on either side of his face, pulling him closer to her as they both sought comfort in one another.

Riley heard fireworks begin to shoot off somewhere in the distance, but she didn't care to see them when she had her own light show taking place in her mind as she continued to put every feeling she had for him into their searing kiss. She didn't want to let go. She wanted to stay there like that with him forever. Unfortunately, she knew that the logical side of him would take over soon and they would be back to where they were.

Lucas knew this was wrong. He knew that he was giving her mixed signals, but his heart screamed for her. He needed one last taste of her, one last beautiful moment. The sound of the fireworks brought him back to reality. It was midnight. It was a new year. He knew what he had to do. He took a step back from her as he gently brought her hands down, away from his face. "Riley," his voice was barely above a whisper, "I could never be disgusted by you."

"You know we belong together," she stated breathlessly.

He swallowed as he forced himself to not give in again. "I'm going to be there for you through all of this. That's not going away. If you need me, even at 3 in the morning, I'll be there."

She nodded. "Just like before then."

He gave her a sad smile. "We were friends before."

"You're one of my best friends."

"That's all I can be for you now. It's for the best, Riley. I'm not saying never. I'm just saying that we both have a lot to work through."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Six

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned in to months. Charlie's court date had finally arrived. Riley had to testify. It was a day she had dreaded ever since the prosecutors informed her that she had to be there to testify against him. She hadn't seen Charlie since that night. He had begged his lawyers and his parents to see her, but Riley and her parents refused every time. She never wanted to see him again. Sleepless nights were the norm for her now. Every little sound she heard made her nearly jump out of her skin. And it was all because of him.

The only thing that seemed to keep her going was the fact that, somehow, her mother had convinced her father that a spring break trip to Texas with her friends would actually be a good idea. She was never more grateful. Her mother somehow knew what Riley knew: she had to get away from the city. Still, she couldn't exactly look forward to the trip, as Charlie's trial was set for two days before they left.

Things were still completely awkward with Lucas. They could barely form sentences around one another, let alone have a real conversation about anything. The elephant in the room only grew as time continued to pass. She wasn't sure if she was still welcome to go on the trip even though all of her friends reassured her countless times that he definitely wanted her to go. She never took him up on his offer to be there for her at any time. She simply ran to Maya instead. She leaned on Farkle. She even called Zay a few times to just get her mind off of everything. Things were different with Lucas now. She knew what he wanted.

He didn't want to be a rebound. He wanted her to trust him. He wanted her to tell him what happened that night. But all she wanted was him. It was a complete role reversal for them. She felt that she did trust him. She knew this wasn't a rebound. Her feelings for Lucas were stronger than anything she had ever known before. But for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to tell him what happened that night or even what happened the other times Charlie hurt her. He wasn't the only one left in the dark. She still refused to tell the others, even Maya.

She made sure that none of them went to the hearing because she didn't want to put that on them. When she told the group about her decision, Lucas was more than a little upset. He had sworn to himself that she would never be in the same room as Charlie unless he was there too, but what could he do? She didn't want him there. So, he had to respect her wishes. In Riley's mind, she knew it was going to be tough enough to see Charlie and have to recount what happened that night to the judge, the lawyers, and her parents. She couldn't bear for her friends to hear what happened while the guy who did it sat a few feet away.

She wasn't sure what held her back from telling Lucas everything. He knew about her injuries and she was sure that he had pretty much pieced together the events of that night, but she still held back from him. She wanted to be honest with him, and she felt like she was beginning to move on—that she was finally able to pick up the pieces of that awful night. She had one more session with her therapist the day after the hearing. If everything went well, Riley wouldn't have to see her again unless she wanted to.

* * *

As Riley sat in the courtroom, as she told her side of what happened, her mind flashbacked to that night. Though she had told her parents what happened, they never knew the details. They didn't know that she had hit her head twice. They didn't know what he told her as he attacked her. They didn't know how close Riley was to passing out during it. They didn't know that for the briefest of moments, before Riley grabbed Maya's snowshoe, that she thought she was going to die in that cabin that night.

As she spoke, she avoided looking at him. She wanted nothing to do with him. She would be perfectly fine with never having to see him again. Riley Matthews, who always had a kind word for everyone she came in contact with, felt nothing in her heart for the guy she had dated for three years.

She could feel his eyes on her as she sat down beside her mother after her testimony. As the judge asked Charlie if he had anything to say before she sentenced him, his lawyer said that he did prepare something. Riley looked down at her hands when she saw him stand and turn to face her.

"Riley," Charlie's voice shook, "I know that what I did to you was unforgiveable. I also know that there is nothing I could ever do or say that could ever begin to make it up to you. I wish I could tell you what happened that night. I wish I had an explanation for what I did to you, but I don't. Something inside of me broke and I lashed out at the one person I truly loved. I'm so glad you got away." He sniffed as tears began to fall from his eyes, his voice heavy. "I'll never be able to forgive myself for the pain that I've caused you and your family. No matter what happens today, I want you to know that I am not the same person I was that night. I know that the best thing I can ever do for you is…to let you go."

Riley's eyes ticked up to meet his for the first time since he attacked her.

"I, uh," he stammered as he shrunk underneath her cold gaze, "This is the last time you'll have to see me or hear from me. I've learned that after everything I've done, the thing that would give you the most peace would be to know that I will never come near you again. All I want for you is to have a life just as wonderful and beautiful as you are. I tried to take away your spirit that night, and…I hope I wasn't successful. I hope that you are able to shine brighter than you ever had. You're the most incredible person I've ever met. I should be the one to have to deal with this everyday. Not you." He wiped his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Riley. I know nothing can take away that night, but I am so sorry."

As he turned back around, Riley looked up at her mom, who just pulled her close.

* * *

"10 years," Riley told Maya as soon as her best friend climbed into her window.

Maya raised her eyebrows. "Really," she asked as she sat at the bay window. Maya wasn't happy with the fact that her best friend told her that she couldn't be there, but like the others, Maya understood why. She knew that whenever the time was right, Riley would tell her what happened. Truthfully, Maya didn't need to know, but she wanted Riley to know that no matter what, she was going to be there to support her every step of the way.

Riley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "He didn't even fight it."

"How bad was it to see him?"

"Almost as hard as the last four months have been," she confessed. She looked down at the ground. "I had to tell everyone there what happened. Before sentencing, the judge let him speak."

"Did he?"

Riley nodded before she let out a long breath. "He said that he was sorry. He didn't know what happened. He just snapped and he lashed out at the one person he truly loved."

Maya snickered. "What a creep."

"Yeah." Riley stood up from the window. "I didn't believe most of it."

Maya was relieved to hear that. She knew that Riley always saw the best in everyone. Part of her was worried that she would somehow try to sweep everything under the rug—that she would take pity on him for having to go to jail for it. She knew Riley didn't want to see him, but Maya just wasn't sure that once she did, she would be able to truly remember what he did. "What did you believe?"

"That I would never see him again."

Maya raised her eyebrows in surprise. "He said that?" She figured that even as he sat in a jail cell, Charlie would never let her go—never let Riley try to live a normal life. He was a selfish sociopath. The thought of Riley having to never deal with him again was the best news Maya had heard in awhile.

"Yeah. And I think he was telling the truth on that part of it. I think that whatever counseling or whatever he's been doing for the last four months…that something actually sunk in." She walked to her closet to pull out her suitcase. "The whole thing was awful. I'm glad you weren't there. It was hard enough to tell my parents about it."

"I wish you would confide in me, but…I understand why you haven't. Just know that I'm here for you. I got you. No matter what."

"Thank you." She took a deep breath. "I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders now. I feel like I can start to breathe again. He's gone." She turned to look at her best friend. "Ten years, Maya."

"Ten years," she smiled. "And next, we go to Texas!"

"Yeah." She unzipped her bag.

Maya noticed that Riley didn't seem too thrilled. "Have you talked to him?"

Riley shook her head. She knew which _'him'_ Maya referred to. She also knew that she had developed a distinctive expression on her face whenever Lucas came up in their conversations. "He knew what today was. It's still…awkward."

"He knows you haven't even told me about it, right?"

She nodded. "It's different with him though. He really opened himself up to me and when it came time for me to do the same thing, I just…didn't." She rubbed her head as she thought about it. "I still can't. I don't know why. I trust him. I really care about him. I'm just…"

"Scared," Maya offered.

"Maybe. I just…I've never felt like this before. Every day, I fall for him just a little bit more; even though we've had this Charlie sized elephant in the room with us for the last four months. It's like I look at him, and I know that he's who I want to be with. I just…can't seem to bring myself to tell him about what happened."

"You'll figure it out. You can't rush something like that."

"Now you sound like him."

"Like cowboy? Gross." She watched her friend begin to put some clothes in the bag. "You're packing now?"

"Yeah. I have therapy tomorrow and doing this now just makes it real that I'm actually getting out of the city for a few days." She went in her closet to grab a few jackets.

"You think it's going to be cold there?"

Riley shrugged. "At night maybe? I don't know. I just have all of this energy right now and I'm afraid if I sit down, if I let myself not think for five minutes, that I'll start to think about…Charlie…and I'll just fall apart again. And I don't want to fall apart. The trial is over. It's done. I just want to move on from—" As she turned to look at Maya, she noticed movement outside of her window. It only took a moment for her to realize that it was Lucas.

"Hey Huckleberry," Maya greeted when she turned to see what had caught her best friend's eye. She turned back to Riley. "I thought only Farkle and I were allowed to do that."

"It's like a door now, I think," Riley responded as she turned back to her suitcase. She hadn't really expected to see him until they left for the airport. Yes, they had been cordial with one another over the last several months, but they were rarely alone and rarely talked about anything of real importance. They were friends, but it was different now. It felt like they had an unspoken list of things they couldn't talk about—and that list was pretty extensive. They mostly talked about the weather, their friends, and school. It made for extremely short conversations. Both of them hated the way things were, but they were at a complete standstill. Riley still couldn't open up to him, and it seemed like Lucas had completely emotionally shut her out.

It was the first time he had dared to come into her window since Christmas Eve. He wasn't sure why he did it. He thought he had gotten used to ringing the doorbell, but his mind had been completely preoccupied all day, so he ended up outside of her bedroom without even thinking about what he was doing. "Sorry, should I go back down and ring the bell?"

Riley shook her head. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him. He hadn't been in her room since Christmas morning. Maybe things were beginning to get better for them? "What's up?"

He felt awkward as he stood in her room. His eyes immediately drifted over to her bed. Christmas Eve was the last night that he managed to get more than a few hours of sleep. It was the last peaceful night he could remember. He wasn't sure when he fell asleep. The last thing he remembered was gently rubbing Riley's back as he heard her snore softly from her spot on top of his chest. The next thing he knew, Maya had nudged both of them awake and informed them that Riley's parents would probably come into her room at any moment to go downstairs to open presents.

His mind snapped back to reality when he saw Riley close her suitcase. "I, uh, came to see how things went?"

"Well," Maya looked between the two teenagers. Lucas stared at Riley. Riley was pretending to fumble around with her suitcase. "I feel like this is a conversation just for the two of you, so I'm just going to go downstairs and…find something to…do…away from…here." She laughed nervously before she practically sprinted to the door. Normally Maya would have killed to know what they were going to talk about, but over the last few months, and after several failed attempts to reunite them, she realized that the best thing she could do for them would be to simply butt out of it.

Once she left, Riley sat down at the bay window. She glanced at Lucas before she gestured to the spot next to her. "I really don't want to talk about what happened," she said as she watched him sit down.

He let out a long breath. He knew that it was her choice to decide what she shared with him, but it wasn't making him feel any better. She was still holding back from him. Four months later and she still didn't trust him. Still, he wanted to respect her feelings. After countless conversations with his mother about it, he knew that she would talk about everything when she was ready, and not a moment sooner. "Ok."

She began to fidget as her mind began to drift back to the trial, to seeing Charlie, to seeing the looks on her parents' faces as she recounted that night. She looked over at him. "Is that the only reason you came by?"

"No, I have some other news." He hadn't even planned to come by to see her, because he knew that she wouldn't want to talk about it. She hadn't said a word about it in four months. He knew she wouldn't want to relive the trial that soon. It was just that after his conversation with Zay earlier in the day, he had decided to take a long walk and simply ended up at her apartment.

"What's up?" Riley was more than happy to welcome a distraction from the day's events. She knew it had to be something big because of the fact that they hadn't really talked since New Year's. Her mind suddenly began to race. It probably wasn't good news. Was the trip cancelled? Did something bad happen?

Lucas shifted in his seat. "Well, I just found out that Zay signed me up for a bull riding competition while we are in Texas. It's the day after we get there, actually."

She expected him to say a million things to her, but not this. Her eyes widened. "WHAT?"

He nodded. "Yeah, he wants me to bring honor to my family name again."

She furrowed her eyebrows. Had Lucas somehow brought dishonor to his family name? It couldn't be because of the fighting. How would riding a bull bring back honor to his family name? "There's a story there, right?"

"Well, you know how I was a mutton buster?"

She nodded.

Lucas rubbed the back of his neck. He knew that one day, he would have to tell Riley the rest of the story. He just didn't think that it would be like this—with them both barely speaking to one another. "I didn't tell you the rest of that story. I fell off."

"Fell off? Of what? The sheep?"

He nodded.

Riley was completely confused now. Did his family expect him to stay on the sheep? She didn't know much about bull riding or mutton busting. She wasn't sure how any of it worked, so what he told her didn't make much sense. "Isn't that the whole point?"

"Well, the amount of time you stay on is the key. And…let's just say I fell off so fast." He lowered his head. This was completely humiliating for him. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life and here he was, telling Riley Matthews, the girl he wanted to be with, the same girl who seemed to be completely out of his reach now, about the time he fell off of a sheep within two seconds.

"Oh."

Oh? That was all she had to say about it? Well, at least she didn't laugh him out of the apartment. "So, in order to bring back honor to my family, Zay signed me up to ride a bull."

"A bull?" She shook her head. "I don't understand. Why not a sheep?"

"I'm too old for that."

Riley thought about it for a moment. There had to be a reason for Zay to do all of this. Suddenly, it hit her. "So, he basically signed you up to face your fears?"

He let out a long breath. "Yeah." At first, he was livid with his best friend. Zay was there when it happened the first time. Zay knew how embarrassed Lucas was about the whole thing, but at the same time, he also knew that Zay wouldn't have signed him up for it unless he knew that Lucas could actually do it.

"Are you going to do it?" Her mind raced. She was worried about him, but she still wasn't sure what all bull riding entailed. She had never been to any event like that before. Zay wouldn't have signed him up for something dangerous, would he?

He lifted his head to look at her. "Yeah. I have to do this."

She gave him a warm smile. "Well, I believe in you. I believe that you can do anything you want to."

"Thank you, Riley."

"And I'll be there."

He gave her a smile. "That means a lot to me." That was an understatement. It meant the world to him. It also made him wonder. It had been four months since their heartbreaking conversation on the roof. Four months of painfully awkward exchanges. This conversation felt different. Maybe it was the start of something new between them. Maybe, just maybe, they could finally begin to move past everything that had happened.


	27. Chapter 27

_**A/N: Two updates in less than 24 hours?! Crazy! I've written a lot of the next few chapters out already (I like to stay ahead in case I have to change a few things), and this was ready to go, so why wait?!**_

* * *

Chapter Twenty Seven

The flight to Texas felt like an eternity for Riley and Lucas. Maya and Farkle sat in the row in front of them. They were constantly giggling and whispering to one another about something Riley was certain she didn't want to know about. They were truly in their own world. While Riley was happy for both of them, she couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy as she heard them laugh throughout the whole plane ride. She looked next to her. Zay was sandwiched between her and Lucas, which was what she wanted, but he had fallen asleep about twenty minutes into the flight, and his snoring hadn't stopped for the last hour. She looked past Zay at Lucas, who seemed enthralled in the book he was reading. Riley couldn't make out the title, but that didn't matter. She let out a sigh as she turned her head back around to look out the window. How much longer was this flight?

Lucas could've sworn he had read the same page for the last thirty minutes. Between Zay's snoring and Maya and Farkle giggling every two seconds, he couldn't focus.

No.

That wasn't it at all. It wasn't their fault that he couldn't seem to concentrate on the book in his hands. It was his fault. His mind was on Riley again, as it had been for the last several months. He knew when her eyes drifted over to him. He could feel it. He also knew that his resolve had started to slip in the last few weeks. He couldn't stand not talking to her. It was crazy. Not six months ago, the thought of opening up to someone else scared him. Now, it was driving him crazy that he couldn't talk to her the way they used to. She really had been through something incredibly traumatic. He shouldn't expect her to just talk about it.

At the same time, if the abuse had started months before that, why did she never tell him? She said she was protecting him, and he understood that he gave her every reason not to trust him, but it still ate at him that she couldn't confide in him.

He even talked with his mom about it several times over the last few months. Everything she told him made sense. Clearly Riley was scared to say anything. It wasn't just Lucas's reaction she was worried about. She was also still afraid of Charlie. Sure, they may have been broken up, but it didn't mean that the threat of retaliation just went away. What happened that night in the mountains was proof of that. His mother told him that he needed to talk to Riley again—and to really listen to her this time. He had already made his point months ago. Now he needed to listen to her with an open mind and not be so stubborn about it.

She was right. His mother was always right. He knew that the timing of everything was terrible. It had only been a few weeks since her attack, but Lucas couldn't hold it in anymore. The thought that she couldn't trust him gnawed at him ever since he sat in the waiting room at the hospital that night. The more it nagged at him, the more upset he became about it. He had completely exposed his past to her. He thought that might have meant something to her. And somehow those thoughts merged together and led him to believe that she didn't trust him.

He wasn't sure how to talk to her about it. They had barely spoken to one another since New Year's. He wasn't completely sure how she felt about him anymore. Maybe this trip would somehow help to clear everything up for once and for all. He knew his thoughts should be on Tombstone, the bull he was set to ride, but for some reason, Tombstone didn't scare him nearly as bad as knowing that his relationship with Riley was fractured primarily due to his own insecurities.

* * *

After everyone got settled into their rooms at Lucas's grandfather's house, Zay and Lucas decided to take everyone to Chubbie's, one of the best places in Austin to eat and enjoy live music.

Riley was more than welcome for the distraction from everything she wanted to leave behind in New York. She couldn't remember the last time she was able to have fun with her friends. She felt that if there was a chance for her to simply be Riley, and not that girl who got beat up, this was her chance. No one really knew her here. She wasn't going to have to answer a million questions about Charlie or why she didn't seek help when she should have or why she didn't see it coming. She had thought about little else ever since it happened. When she stepped foot off the plane, she told herself that all of that was behind her—at least for the next several days. She wanted to enjoy what Austin had to offer. Everything else could wait.

As she walked into Chubbie's, she was a little taken aback. The smell of the barbeque cooking immediately invaded her senses as she felt her stomach rumble eagerly in response. The lighting was softer than she imagined and there were several people out on the dance floor. Yes, she could definitely see why Zay and Lucas took them here. It seemed perfect for a carefree night.

The whole group was astonished when Farkle, who not an hour earlier, proclaimed barbeque to be one of the worst foods ever, somehow managed to eat several plates full within the span of an hour. The others looked on in a perfect blend of horror and entertainment as he finished up his fourth plate.

"More," he grumbled, his face covered in barbeque sauce.

"Honey, I think you've had enough," Maya smiled sweetly.

"Yeah, Farkle, why don't you come up for air for a little while," Zay said as he looked at all of the bones that seemed to cover most of the table.

Maya chuckled when her boyfriend lowered his eyes in defeat. "We still have four more days. I'm sure you'll be able to get more." She looked next to him at Lucas, who was unsuccessfully trying to look anywhere but at the brunette across the table. Maya glanced at Riley who simply swirled her straw around in her half empty glass of lemonade. "Riley?"

Riley dropped her straw as her head shot up to look at Maya. "Peaches?"

"Let's go get a refill." She gestured to Riley's cup.

"I can go get them," Zay offered.

"Uh…no, that's fine, Zay," Maya sputtered as she stood up. She reached down to grab Riley's arm. "Riley and I have it just fine."

"Maya, I really don't need a—" As Maya pulled her away from the table, Riley gave up. "Ok."

Once they asked the waitress for a refill, Maya turned around to look back at their table. "Riley. Will you please say something to him?"

Riley thanked the waitress for the completely unnecessary refill. As she turned around, she looked over at Lucas, who seemed to be engaged in conversation with Farkle and Zay. "I don't know what to say. And he's having fun. I don't want to ruin that."

"You won't. Look. Why don't you just go ask him to dance or something?"

Riley brightened at the prospect. "You think? What if he says no?"

Maya groaned as she rolled her eyes. "Come on."

Riley fell into step behind the blonde as they walked back over to the table. She had no idea how she was going to ask Lucas to dance with her when they barely had spoken about much of anything since New Year's. They were friends, sure, but it just wasn't the same anymore. They both knew that.

"Hey Huckleberry," Maya greeted as she sat her cup on the table.

Lucas looked up at Maya.

"Are you two going to dance or what," Maya asked as she turned to her best friend.

Riley knew her face had turned about three different shades of red in a matter of milliseconds. What was she doing? Her panicked eyes subconsciously found his.

"We can do that?" The words came out before he realized what he had asked. He knew that he was the one who changed their relationship back into what they were before, but it was different this time. They weren't just friends. And even though he had told her that they needed space, the thought of dancing with her, of being able to suspend all of his doubts about them for only a little while, made him nearly jump out of his seat in excitement.

Riley's panic disappeared when she realized that he hadn't said no. In fact, his face seemed to brighten at the idea. She gave him a warm smile. "This kind of dancing, sure."

He couldn't get out of his seat fast enough as he jogged over to the dance floor, Riley following closely behind him.

Line dancing. Riley didn't know much about it. During middle school PE, they all tried to learn how to do it, but that was only for thirty minutes in a class she took four years ago. She had no idea what she was doing. As they began, she watched the movements of the person next to her. It seemed simple enough.

As Lucas easily picked up the steps, he looked over at Riley. She seemed to be doing it much better than he was, and he was raised on these types of dances. "Oh, you've done this before?" Yes, he was surprised, but most of all, he was impressed. She seemed to move with ease.

"Never," she yelled over the music, a grin plastered across her face as she realized that she was having fun for the first time in months.

He chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Then how are you so good?"

"Because I'm finally relaxed." She felt like she could actually breathe now. Gone were all of the thoughts that haunted her over the last several months. She knew it was only temporary, but she wasn't going to think about that now. She felt free for the first time that year. She was going to enjoy every second of it.

When she turned her head to him, she smiled. That brought an instant grin to Lucas's face. All he wanted was for her to have fun in Texas. And it was beginning to look like it had only taken three hours of being there to make that happen. As he continued to watch her, he realized how much he had missed her smile. She didn't do it nearly enough these days, and when she did, it was often forced. This was completely genuine. "That's good news."

She nodded. "It is, Lucas." They took a few side steps. "I had no idea I would be in Texas just like I had no idea I would ever dance with a rodeo star," she teased as she tapped his shoulder. Her smile fell only slightly as she found herself confessing, "The only thing I know is that I always want to be able to talk to you."

He couldn't help the smile that formed across his feature. He wanted to hear that. He needed to hear that. Four months of not being able to talk to one another had actually affected her too? Relief washed over him. "I'm here—whenever you want to."

They fell into a more comfortable silence as they continued to dance with one another. She had never quite moved like this before, but it was fun. It was easy. She didn't have to look at—' _oh crap,'_ she thought as the line turned to the side, so she now faced him. She swallowed as she met his intoxicating emerald orbs, which seemed to be greener than normal due to the soft lighting around them. His look nearly made her go weak in the knees.

Her eyes remained locked on his as they danced down their lines in the opposite direction. It wasn't until he turned his head slightly to the side at the sound of his name that she realized that they had been staring at one another. She watched as his eyes moved from hers to someone else. Her brows furrowed in mild confusion as a smile spread across his features. He stopped dancing as he walked over to her line to hug someone. Riley couldn't quite see who it was as they were now a few people down the line away from her. She broke the line as she went back over to their table.

"Where's Huckleberry," Maya asked her when she noticed that Riley came back alone.

"I-I don't know. We were dancing and then—" she spun around to see if she could get a better look.

"Oh no," Zay groaned when he saw his best friend.

"What's up," Maya asked as she scanned the room.

"Who is that?" Farkle stood up and walked over to the others.

"That," Zay let out a long breath, "is trouble."


	28. Chapter 28

_**A/N: This chapter is a little awkward, but I promise it gets better.**_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Riley turned to the one person in their group who would know anything about the girl who still had her arms wrapped around Lucas. "Zay? Who is that?"

"That's Jessica." He knew that there were three curious faces looking back at him, but he had no idea where to begin with this one. Jessica was a long story. He knew the beginning and middle. He had no idea about the ending.

"Who is Jessica?" Maya looked at the girl as she pulled away from Lucas. She was just a little shorter than he was. She had long blonde hair, perfectly curled. Her clothes—if you could call what she was wearing clothing—clung to her body. She sported a black spaghetti strap crop top, her cleavage spilling over. Her shorts couldn't have been any shorter without her getting arrested for indecent exposure. She sported a black cowboy hat. Maya snickered. Her head was covered more than the rest of her perfectly sun kissed body. She turned back to her boyfriend, who openly stared at the beauty. She smacked his arm. "Farkle," she hissed.

"I, uh…um…sorry," he apologized as he finally tore his eyes away from the girl. He smiled at his girlfriend before he turned back to Zay. "Jessica is…"

Zay let out a long breath as he looked from Lucas and the girl in question to a very curious Riley. "Jessica is Lucas's first girlfriend."

Riley took a deep breath as she turned back to watch an animated Lucas talk with Jessica. She was gorgeous. Riley couldn't help but notice that she was the complete opposite of this girl. She was easily three inches taller than Riley. She was tan, blonde, and oozed a confidence that Riley was seriously lacking in. Riley looked down at her own attire. A jean top and printed skirt that hit just a little above her knees. "First girlfriend," she said softly.

Zay sensed Riley's curiosity about the blonde. "That was a long time ago."

"You said she was trouble," Maya mentioned. "What did you mean by that?"

"Lucas started acting out to try to put the heat on himself with his dad. Jessica was the one who gave him that idea." He sighed. "In fact, she gave him a lot of the ideas that he ended up doing to get attention from his dad…including getting kicked out of school."

Maya couldn't help but watch Riley watch Lucas and Jessica. This was supposed to be their vacation. They were supposed to have fun and just relax. As she watched the range of emotions spread across her best friend's face, she realized that they weren't going to get the peace they all so desperately wanted. "Why did they break up?"

Zay shook his head. "He was still with her when I moved to New York. We never talked about it."

After a few more moments, Lucas and Jessica walk toward the curious group. They all, except for Riley, quickly turned toward one another so it didn't appear as if they were spying on the couple. Riley was completely frozen as she watched them approach. Her mind began to race as she took in the beauty who seemed totally unaware of her. She had briefly thought that they might run into some of his old friends, but she didn't imagine that they would run into his old girlfriend.

"Hey guys," he smiled. He looked over at Jessica. "Jessica, these are my friends. Farkle, Maya, you know Zay, and" he looked at the brunette, "Riley. Guys, this is Jessica."

Maya and Riley mumbled greetings while Farkle merely smiled at her.

"It's been awhile," Zay told her.

Jessica tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Yeah. How long now, Zay? Two years?"

"Four, but who's counting." He plastered a fake smile on his face.

"Obviously you are," Jessica replied sweetly as her strained smile matched his. She turned to Lucas. "How long are you here for?"

"Until Wednesday."

"That's perfect, Luke," she purred as she draped her arm around his shoulders. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"He's going to be in the rodeo." Farkle immediately winced when Maya slapped his arm in response. He turned to her. "What did I do?"

Jessica touched Lucas's arm. "That's right! I heard about that. Tombstone, right?"

He nodded. "Are you going?"

"Oh, I wouldn't miss it. Maybe we can talk more…privately after? We have so much to talk about. A lot has happened since you left."

His eyes wandered over to Riley who had turned her back to them as she faced Maya. He looked back at Jessica. "Yeah. A lot has happened."

"I better get back to Lynn and Marybeth. The last I saw, they were getting some guy to buy shots. Oh," her eyes lit up. "Do you want to do one with me for old time's sake?"

Maya's eyes widened. Shots? She tore her eyes away from them to look at Riley. She simply looked down.

"No," he shook his head. "I'm good."

"Next time then. I'll see you tomorrow, right?" She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek before she turned and walked away.

Maya rolled her eyes as she saw Jessica purposefully throw her hips side to side as she sauntered away.

"Jessica," Zay cringed.

"Yeah," Lucas let out a long breath before he looked back at Riley. "Do you want to go dance again?"

She shook her head as she turned back to him. "I'm a little tired."

"Well, do you guys want to go back to Pappy Joe's?"

"Yeah," Maya told him. "We've had a long day. We're going to have another one tomorrow. Might be time to call it."

* * *

When they got back, everyone immediately retreated to their rooms. About an hour later, Lucas, unable to sleep, decided to go sit on the front porch for a while and star gaze. It was one of the few things he truly missed about being in Texas. As he opened the front door, he stopped dead in his tracks. Right there, sitting on the porch steps, was one Riley Matthews.

He debated on turning around and going back to his room, but he decided against it. He was careful to make just enough noise to let her know he was there, but not so much as to wake everyone else up.

Riley turned around at the sound of the screen door opening. She nearly froze when she saw the object of her thoughts in the doorframe. "Hey," she greeted.

"Hi," he automatically replied. Their thing. He gave her a half smile. Despite all of their awkwardness with one another, that one simple greeting hadn't changed. He took a deep breath as he closed the space between them to sit down next to her. "Couldn't sleep?"

She shook her head as she looked up at the sky. "I never knew the sky had this many stars." She was in complete awe at the light show taking place above her. Stars peppered the sky above them. It was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen.

"Yeah." He looked up. "It's one of the things I miss the most about being here."

Riley briefly wondered what else he missed about Texas, but decided against asking that question. Part of her wanted to know what the backstory was with Jessica, but she knew she had no right to ask. And as beautiful as the night was, she didn't want to risk ruining the peaceful memory of trying to count the endless amount of stars in the heavens above them.

He continued to look at the sky above them and marveled at the beauty of it all. He had dreamt on more than one occasion that they would be here—looking up at the sky on the front porch of his grandfather's house—but he never imagined that there would be so much space between them. He swallowed. "I want to apologize to you."

Riley frowned as she began to tug at the sleeves of her hoodie as a cold chill tore through her. "Apologize? For what?"

"What I said at New Year's. I," he let out a breath, "I don't know what I expected from you. Logically, I know why you never said anything about...what was going on with him…but after thinking about it nonstop for two weeks, and your insistence that I talk about what I was feeling at that moment…I spoke way before I should have. I should have given you more time."

She was silent for a long moment as she looked up at the crystal clear sky above them. She had thought about everything for months and months, never gaining any sense of clarity about the situation, but as she sat there with him in that moment, she felt that she finally understood. "Lucas, maybe you were right."

"What?"

"Maybe I was holding back." She looked down at him. "You're right. I could have told you. I had so many chances to tell you everything after I broke up with him, but I didn't. And…I don't know why. I don't know if I was just scared of him or…if I didn't feel like I couldn't confide in you." He wasn't looking back at her. His eyes were focused on the sky. "And…I still don't know the answer to that."

He was quiet for a long time as he tried to process what she was telling him, or wasn't telling him. "Fair enough," he finally answered, his voice low. He didn't think hearing her utter what he already knew would hurt him, but it did. She couldn't tell him then, and she still couldn't confide in him now.

She knew she had hurt him again. Were they ever going to reach some sort of common ground or was it always going to be this difficult? "Do you really want to get into this now? You have a big day tomorrow. You shouldn't be distracted, you know."

"Yeah." His eyes finally dared to take her in. God, she even looked breathtaking in a pair of yoga pants and an oversized ripped hoodie. He also couldn't help but notice how the moonlight seemed to create a flawless glow on her already perfect features. He swallowed. "I'm going to be distracted either way." He tore his eyes away from her as he looked back up. "We haven't been able to have this conversation in months."

She leaned back on the step behind her. "I know. And that's my fault."

He shook his head. "It isn't. You've had more than enough going on to even think about all of this."

"But it takes up a lot of my thoughts," she confessed.

"Me too." He looked down at the ground. He knew everything wasn't going to be solved in one night. They had a lot to talk about, and he figured that some of it might get sorted out on this trip, but he wanted her to have fun above anything else. He knew that she needed this vacation just as much as he did, if not more, and she seemed to have enjoyed her first night there.

Riley thought about going back to bed. She thought about not saying anything more, content to just look up at the stars, but this had been one of the first real conversations they had in months. She had to ask before she lost her nerve. "So…"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "So…"

"Jessica." She looked down at her hands. She knew it wasn't her place to ask him anything considering she had completely clammed up around him, but her curiosity about the blonde had finally gotten to her.

"What did Zay tell you?"

She continued to fidget with the sleeve of her hoodie as she tried to act as nonchalantly as possible. "Not much. First girlfriend. And that…"

"What?"

"She was the one who told you how to act out."

Lucas stretched his legs out in front of him as he looked down at the ground. He was still pretty guarded when it came to his past, but he was willing to answer any question she had for him. He knew the best way to convince her to trust him would if he trusted her. It scared him, but he knew that Riley deserved the truth. "She helped me get through it. Maybe not in the best way, but she was there for me when Zay wasn't."

Riley's gaze fell to her feet. "Why did you break up?"

"She cheated. I…" he stopped himself.

Her head snapped up. She immediately noticed that he seemed uncomfortable. She wasn't sure she wanted to know any more. Her heart began to race. "You what?"

"Riley, you know I'm not proud of my past."

"That's not who you are anymore."

"I…," he shook his head as an inner battle seemed to rage within him. He knew she needed to know. "I cheated on her too."

Riley was taken aback. Yes, they had kissed one another while he was still with Missy and she was with Charlie. But that felt different. It was something they couldn't help…unless somehow…Lucas had felt the same way with someone else while he lived there. "Why did you…"

"That's the worst part. I didn't have a reason. I just…did. Maybe it was part of my transformation or something. Just to not care anymore about who I hurt." His eyes slowly lifted to meet hers. He wished he knew what was running through her mind. God, he hated who he was. Why was he still paying for his past mistakes? It wasn't fair. "It was something I wanted to tell you, but how would I even begin to bring it all up?" He looked back up at the sky, the embarrassment of his past finally getting the better of him. "It was a really toxic and intense relationship."

Riley wasn't sure how to react. She knew he wasn't the same guy he was when he lived here, just like she wasn't the same girl he had met on that subway. "How long did you two date?"

"On and off for about three years."

"Three years?!" She and Charlie had been together for about three years. Three years was a lifetime for anyone their age. Jessica and Lucas had a past—a big one from the sound of it. She was gorgeous and obviously still cared about him.

He nodded. "Even after we broke up, we still…you know…got together."

Riley swallowed. She already knew the answer to this, and a big part of her didn't want to ask, because she knew that it would feel like a knife to her heart, but she had to know. "Did um…was she um…you know…your first?"

Lucas flinched. He knew that their conversation was leading down that path, but hearing her voice it made it so much worse. He merely nodded in response.

She had suspected Lucas wasn't a virgin. He was one of the hottest guys she had ever met. He also had a huge chip on his shoulder. He purposefully acted out. And she was well aware of his track record with one other female in particular. Yes, he never slept with Missy Bradford, but he also didn't date her for very long. Jessica was a different story. First loves were unforgettable.

Although she knew the answer before he said it, her heart still dropped to her stomach. She knew she was being ridiculous. She knew that he had been with others, but for some reason, her heart never wanted to believe it. Now that she heard it from him, she was forced to face the reality of his past. "Wow," she managed to finally choke out, "Must've thrown you when you saw her then, right?"

"Riley, it's not—"

She quickly stood up, her mind still reeling from his confession. "No, you don't have to explain." She shivered as another chill tore through her. "It's getting late. Um…you have a big day tomorrow. Get some rest."

"Are you ok," he asked as he scrambled to stand up.

"Yeah," she lied as she plastered on a fake smile.

"Riley." He knew that she was pretending. He had been a student of Riley Matthews for several months now. He knew when she was happy. He knew when she was upset. And he knew that when she plastered on that 1000 kilowatt smile, her defenses were up.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "Look," she ran a hand through her hair, "Don't be worried about tomorrow. I know you're going to be great."

He knew that there was no use in trying to explain anything more that night. The best thing he could do right now was to pretend that she was ok. "Thank you."


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N: So. Funny story. Originally, this story was going to end in about six-ish chapters. Well, I added one thing that kind of shifted everything, so this story will actually be even longer than I had intended it to be. I hope that doesn't bother you guys. Also, I want to thank y'all for recommending this fic on various social media platforms! That means a lot to me. A lot, a lot.**_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Nine

With her mind being completely focused on trying to get past the trial and everything, Riley never fully comprehended what exactly Lucas was doing in the rodeo. Zay wouldn't have signed him up for anything dangerous, right?

Not quite.

Riley and Maya had retreated to the refreshment tent while the guys went with Lucas to get registered. It started out simple enough. Both girls ordered lemonade while they cooled off in the air-conditioned tent.

That was when she noticed it.

The TVs in the corner of the tent.

Riley's eyes grew big as they showed some 'highlights' of past events, some containing Tombstone, the bull Lucas was set to ride. "Oh my God," she said softly as she couldn't help but watch person after person being violently thrown from the animal. This is what he was going to do? There had to be some sort of misunderstanding. He wouldn't willingly ride _that_ , would he?

Maya wasn't faring much better as she watched rider after rider get tossed off of the bull like a rag doll. "He's going to ride that thing?!" It was like watching a train wreck. She just couldn't look away. She cringed as she saw one guy get thrown about twenty feet from the bull. She looked back at Riley. "He can't do that!"

"Can't do what," Farkle asked the girls as he, Zay, and the man of the hour entered the tent. He looked at the TVs. "What are you watching?"

"He's all signed up," Zay smiled proudly as he slapped his friend on the back. "Once they finish the mutton busters, he'll be up."

"Are you crazy," Maya shrieked as she stood up, her stool falling behind her. How was everyone acting so calm about this?

Lucas furrowed his eyebrows. "What's going on?"

"That's what you're going to be doing?!" Riley gestured to the TV behind the guys. Her palms began to sweat as her mind began to race. All she could picture was him getting hurt like all the others. What if something bad happened? What if she let him do this and he ended up in the hospital—or worse?

They all turned toward the TVs just in time to see another guy get flung off of the bull. Riley and Maya cringed at the sight of the paramedics running toward the injured rider.

"Yeah, that's it," Zay answered as he put a piece of popcorn in his mouth.

Maya's eyes widened as she turned back to Lucas. This was absolutely insane! He was doing this for what purpose? Did he have some sort of death wish? "You're going to get killed!"

Their reactions weren't helping his nerves. Between thinking about the rodeo and Riley, he hadn't gotten much sleep at all. He was relieved when she seemed fine with him at breakfast—well, as fine as they had been over the last several months. It eased his mind about their awkward conversation the night before, but he also knew that it was far from over. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Maya. It helps a lot."

"You can't do it," Maya insisted as she shook her head, her mind completely made up. There was no way she was going to stand around and let him kill himself over something stupid. Pride? What good was that if he died?!

"Maya, what is it?" Farkle looked at Riley before he looked at his girlfriend. She was having a complete meltdown, something Farkle hadn't quite experienced before. Yes, he had seen her upset, but never quite like this.

She ignored her boyfriend's question as she glared at Lucas. "Why would you willingly hurt yourself?" She turned to Riley. "After everything that's happened over the last few months," she looked back at him, "Why risk it?"

Somehow, Riley managed to pull her eyes away from the TV to look at Lucas. "He wants to face his fears," she answered.

Lucas nodded. He knew that she would understand why he had to do this.

"And he will," Farkle told them as he slapped Lucas's back.

"He can also get killed in the process!" Maya's hands began to quake as her anger and fear finally reached a boiling point.

"Maya, let's not shake his confidence." Riley turned her head back to Lucas. She knew that no matter what she said or did, he was going to do what he wanted. She knew that all she could do now was to support him. She wanted to support him. "You can do this right? You can ride a bull for four seconds and win the master of Tombstone award?"

Maya stared at her best friend in utter disbelief. Riley was actually going to let him go through with this? She figured that Riley, above everyone else, would beg him not to. Maybe she didn't understand what was about to happen? "Lucas is going to _need_ a tombstone. There isn't going to be any more Lucas!"

"He's going to do great, Maya." She was scared. She would be completely heartless if she wasn't incredibly worried about his safety, but she also wanted to support him, no matter what he wanted to attempt. She slowly turned to meet his gaze. "I believe in you. I believe that you can do anything you want to."

Was this some sort of alternate reality? She knew Riley would support her friends, but to encourage them to get hurt was a completely different story! "Why do you want him to do this, Riley?"

"Because," she let out a long breath, "if he doesn't, I think he might regret it one day. If you have a chance to face your fears, you should do it. You should face them." She gave him a smile. "Go out there. Be the hero I know you are."

She had no idea how much those words meant to him. He felt like he could suddenly take on the whole world just because she believed in him. "Thank you, Riley."

"You're next," Zay noted as he watched the last of the mutton busters walk out of the arena.

Maya just shook her head. "I can't watch this." She took one last look at her friends before she stormed out of the tent.

The others looked at one another before they, too, exited the tent. Riley was completely stunned as she watched Maya storm away from the rodeo. What was all of that about? Yes, it was dangerous, but couldn't she understand why he wanted to do it?

Lucas turned to Riley. "Why would she do this?"

"I better go talk to her," Farkle said as he watched his girlfriend walk away. Something was seriously wrong and it was completely unnerving him.

"No, I'll do it," Riley insisted as she began to take a few steps toward her.

"Riley, wait," Lucas called.

She turned to face him.

He looked down at the ground as he rested his hands on the sleeves of his vest. He was scared. He was anxious. But he knew that Riley was right. He had to do this. He had to prove to himself that he wasn't just some scared little boy anymore. He needed to know that he could face his fears. All of them. "I'd kind of like you to watch."

Riley glanced at Maya's retreating form one last time before she looked up at Lucas. "Then I will."

"Come on Farkle," Zay told him as he put an arm around his shoulders. "She just needs to cool off some."

"Yeah. Maybe you're right."

* * *

Riley's heart leapt into her throat as they walked toward the arena. She wanted to tell him that he didn't have to do this. She wanted to side with Maya, but when she opened her mouth to tell him to not to go through with it, she found herself supporting him instead. It's not everyday that someone has the chance to face their fears, and although it was incredibly risky and dangerous, Riley knew that if she asked him not to do it, it would just be for her own selfish reasons. She didn't want to see him get hurt. When she looked at him, she knew that if he didn't want to do this, he would've backed out before now. He wanted to face Tombstone. He wanted to honor his family name and make his grandfather proud of him. He wanted to finish something he had started when he was a kid. It brought him back to a time before things got bad with his father. When she looked at him, she saw that he was nervous, but she also saw his determination to go through with it. She couldn't ask him not to.

When the announcer introduced Lucas, Riley watched as he began to walk toward Tombstone's pen. She climbed on top of the railing to get a better view. "You can do this Lucas! You can do anything! This bull is nothing!" Supportive. She could be supportive. She had to channel all of her nervous energy into cheering him on.

As she watched him climb the small ladder next to Tombstone's pen, she finally noticed the bull. Her mouth fell open in shock. "THAT's the bull?!" Her nerves betrayed her as she watched the bull trying to buck Lucas off as he tried to get seated on top of him. It hadn't even started yet, but the bull was already trying to throw him? This was absolutely insane! She had to get him out of there. "LUCAS!"

He turned at the sound of Riley's scream.

She froze once more. She didn't want him to do this. She just wanted him to get off of Tombstone and for all of them to just go somewhere else and do something far less dangerous. This was ridiculous. Maya was right. There were other ways to face your fears—ways that didn't involved possibly dying.

Instead, as she looked at his inquisitive face, she found her self-saying, "Tell him you want to be a veterinarian! It's your only hope!" She inwardly cringed. Did she actually just say that?

Lucas was baffled. Really? Well, it couldn't hurt could it? He looked down at the rambunctious bull. "I'm going to be a veterinarian." When the bull immediately became more aggressive, he turned back to Riley. "He doesn't care!"

As soon as the gate open, time seemed to stop for Riley. She regretted everything. She wished she hadn't encouraged him. She wished she had begged him not to do it. She thought about everything that happened between them since the day they met. She wished that she had the strength and wisdom to have broken up with Charlie the moment she suspected how she felt about Lucas. She wished that she had told him how she really felt about him in the closet before their final performance. She wished that she wouldn't have believed the rumors about him and Missy. She wished that she had told him everything that happened between her and Charlie the night he told her about his father. She wanted to be as open with him as he had been with her.

When he got thrown from Tombstone, she thought her heart had actually stopped functioning. She couldn't even think to breathe as she waited for him to stand back up. When the dust settled around him, and he still hadn't sat up, Riley knew she had to get to him.

She didn't care that Tombstone hadn't been corralled yet. She didn't care that Zay tried to pull her down from the gate to stop her. No one could prevent her from climbing into the arena and running over to him. "LUCAS!" She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She fell to her knees next to him as she flipped him over. "Lucas, are you ok?!" When he began to slowly open his eyes, she finally felt her heart beat again.

As she took in the beautiful sight of his emerald eyes opening, everything suddenly clicked into place for Riley. She loved him. She was _in love_ with him. The realization was enough to knock the wind out of her, but at the same time, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of her. She loved him. It was feeling she had never felt before, but at the same time, it felt so familiar. She had felt that same rush before when she dreamt about _'subway boy'_.

Lucas was him.

He was Lucas.

And she, Riley Matthews, finally understood everything he had been trying to tell her all along.

Lucas was completely disoriented as he laid on the ground. He focused his blurred vision on the concerned face of the girl beside him. He wasn't sure if she was real or if he had somehow died and entered heaven. As he turned his head, he felt the soreness across his body. No, this was real. And the concerned face of an angel, his angel, made him grateful for this reality. "I stayed on for like 30 seconds."

Her worried expression melted at his terrible attempt at a joke. He was ok. She wanted to cry with relief, but instead found herself smiling at him. "Yeah. Yeah, I knew you could." She couldn't take her eyes off of him now. Everything in her screwed up world suddenly made sense again. It felt like she could see the light at the end of a very long tunnel, and hoped, perhaps, that one day she wouldn't be known as the girl Charlie Gardener beat up on a class trip. Maybe if Lucas could become who he was meant to be despite his past, she could too.

Farkle and Zay ran toward the couple as they helped Riley get Lucas back on his feet. One he finally stood up, he slid his helmet off and began to shake the hay and dirt off himself.

A huge grin spread across Zay's face as the crowd around them began to cheer. "Look! You did it!"

The others turned around to the clock to see Lucas's time of 4.468 seconds: a new record.

More people began to crowd around Lucas to congratulate him including his grandfather. Riley clapped along with the others. She watched as his grandfather told him how proud he was of him. She knew how much that meant to Lucas. It was a perfect moment for all of them until she saw a flash of platinum blond hair underneath a black cowboy hat run across the arena toward the group. Riley watched as Jessica practically jumped into Lucas's arms as she squeezed him, squealing out her congratulations to him.

Riley knew that her smile fell as she watched their exchange. She turned around, unable to watch the spectacle around Lucas anymore. That was when her eyes fell on her best friend off in the distance. She frowned before she glanced back to Lucas, who seemed to be in deep conversation Jessica and the guys. She looked back at Maya.

She knew that, right now, her best friend needed her.


	30. Chapter 30

_**A/N: I couldn't wait. After all the messages and comments and stuff, I felt that you guys needed this sooner rather than later and I know a few of you might not like this, but it's just the story I want to tell.**_

* * *

Chapter Thirty

Riley wasn't exactly sure what was going on with Maya as she approached the blonde. She had honestly never seen her friend react like that about anything before. Maya was always the relaxed one. She was the one who was willing to take risks. If anything, Riley was always the more cautious one. She couldn't help but be a little nervous about her best friend's reaction. It was new territory for the brunette. She took a deep breath as she sat next to her.

Maya looked over at Riley before she looked back at the arena. "So, he's alright." She saw the whole thing from her spot. Every inch of her didn't want to watch it, but it was something she couldn't look away from. When she initially sat down, she didn't understand why she had gotten so upset with Lucas about it. It wasn't until he fell off of the bull that everything seemed to click for her.

"He was wonderful." Though Riley didn't know exactly what was going on with her best friend, her own fears scared her. It was bad enough that Lucas's first love had been extra attentive over him, but had Maya developed feelings for him too? It wouldn't be too much of a long shot. Lucas was everything any girl could want. Smart, funny, kind, caring, handsome. He'd do anything for his friends—even in the middle of the night. Riley spotted their group in the distance. Jessica was still draped all over Lucas as they continued to relive everything that just happened. She turned to look at Maya. "How are you?"

Maya hesitated before she answered. She wasn't sure how she was at the moment. She glanced at her best friend before she faced forward once more as she watched the crowd begin to wander around different parts of the rodeo. "I couldn't watch." She took a deep breath. "I don't know why. I just couldn't watch."

Riley felt her heart stop. She knew that she was going to have to drag this out of Maya whether she liked it or not. "I think I know why."

Maya turned to look at her. "I don't think you do."

"Maya, it's up to you to tell me whatever you feel. You shouldn't be afraid to tell me anything. You're my sister. And I've always wanted a sister."

Maya gave her a smile. "Me too."

Riley nodded. "Sisters should be able to tell each other their secrets, don't you think?" When Maya didn't reply, Riley looked away from her as she tried to form her thoughts. Her mind was completely spinning as she slowly felt her world shift off its axis once more. "You couldn't watch him because you were afraid something would happen to him," she began slowly as she tried to gauge Maya's reaction. "Because you like him."

Maya turned her head to Riley. "It's not like that." She looked back as she watched her boyfriend disappear into the refreshment tent. "I wasn't sure what it was. Why I acted the way I did. It wasn't until he fell off that I understood."

Riley's palms began to sweat as her heart raced. "Understood what?"

She turned to her best friend in the world. "Riley, you're my sister. You've been my sister since we were seven years old and I climbed into your window…trying to escape the screaming match that my parents did every day…but I never felt like I had anything close to a brother. Farkle has always been Farkle. I never saw him as a brother. I just saw him as Farkle…well, until last summer. And Zay…I care about Zay. He's one of my best friends, but my relationship with him has never been tested…not like this. He's never…put himself into any sort of danger. And with Lucas…" she let out a long breath, "You know that I wasn't thrilled with your friendship with him at the beginning. And I learned to tolerate it during the play. It wasn't until everything happened that I saw who he really was, the person who claimed he was all along." She reached for the brunette's hand. "Riley, you didn't see him that night. I think he really could have killed Charlie…but he didn't. He was so focused on you and concerned about you that his natural instinct to hurt the person who hurt you became secondary. _You_ were his concern. That's when I began to see him for who he was." She ran a hand through her hair. "The last four months…with you two just being friends, but not really…and with all of us spending so much time together, I realized that he wasn't just my friend, Riley. He's that other piece."

Riley furrowed her eyebrows. "What other piece?"

"He and I are a lot alike. I was a troublemaker too once upon a time, you know? Never to his extremes, but we both come from broken homes and we've kind of bonded over that. It's weird, but once he fell off the bull, I realized why I got so upset. He's like a brother to me, Riley. I care about him, but not in a romantic way. I just…want to protect him like I want to protect you."

Riley felt a wave of relief flow through her at Maya's admission. It made sense. Maya and Lucas had this banter between them that reminded Riley of her relationship with her younger brother, Auggie. She knew that their friendship had grown in the last four months as the group hung out more and more. She just wasn't sure what it all meant.

Maya sensed Riley's relief and frowned. "What did you think I meant?" She watched as Riley turned her head away from her. "Oh Riley, you didn't think that I…that I had romantic feelings for him, did you?" When Riley bit her lip and looked down, Maya cringed. "Ew! He's like my brother, Riley! And did you just forget about Farkle?"

"No, but I know that sometimes feelings can just hit you out of nowhere," she said quietly.

"Not feelings for Huckleberry," Maya laughed as she leaned back. When she noticed that Riley still seemed tense, Maya quickly sat back up. "Wait. There's something you aren't telling me."

Riley cut her eyes to Maya. "I also realized something when he fell off."

She raised her eyebrows. "Which was?"

She looked back toward the rodeo. The guys had come back out of the tent, drinks in hand. Jessica was still all over him, her arm looped through his as she continued to talk nonstop. Riley felt a pang in her heart. "I'm in love with him, Maya."

Maya clasped her hands together. "It's about time!"

"What?" She had only realized this not twenty minutes ago. How was it possible that Maya already knew?

Maya grinned. "We've all known it for a long time, Riley."

"And you didn't tell me."

"There are some things you need to figure out for yourself." She looped her arm through Riley's. Everything was going to be just fine in their world. Lucas was still alive. Riley was in love. And Maya…well, her feelings for her boyfriend were never clearer. Even as he ate those ridiculous ribs the previous night, she thought he was the hottest guy in the world.

Riley sighed. "What if I'm too late?"

Maya followed Riley's line of vision to the blonde who was now tugging on Lucas's arm. "Oh, her? Please."

"She was his first love, Maya. They have a history."

" _History_ being the key word, Riles."

"Yeah, but look at her. Then look at me. Who would you choose?" Jessica and Riley had opted for completely different outfits for the day's event. Once again, Jessica had chosen to show off her better physical attributes with form fitting clothes and revealing excess skin, while Riley wore modest cut off shorts, a loose white camisole with a pink plaid shirt over it. And pigtails. Riley cringed. She thought she was trying to fit in when she decided on the pigtails, but as she looked around, she noticed that the only girls who wore pigtails were about five years old.

"Riley, there are a million girls like Jessica in the world. There is only one Riley Matthews. I see the way he looks at Jessica. And I see the way he looks at you. There's no comparison. She may have been his first love, but you're the one he loves now."

Riley blinked. "Love?"

"Yeah. I saw it that night at the ski lodge. And I've seen it every day since. I'm pretty sure he would bring you the moon if you'd ask for it."

Riley chuckled softly. "Like in 'It's a Wonderful Life'?"

Maya smiled. "Exactly. He'd just throw a lasso around it," she drawled in a mock southern accent. "Cause he's a cowboy." She watched as the group started to drift toward them. "A real life cowboy."

The girls remained seated as the group approached them. Farkle gave his girlfriend a smile as he handed her a cup of lemonade. "You ok?"

She gave him a warm smile. "Absolutely. Just needed a little girl talk for a few minutes."

Lucas handed Riley a cup of lemonade. "Do you guys want to go back to Chubbie's tonight? They're having a live band."

"And a mechanical bull," Jessica added as she eyed the girls. "Unless you're too scared of it." She didn't understand Lucas's New York friends. When he introduced them last night, Jessica expected something different. She wasn't quite sure what she expected, but the people Lucas hung out with now seemed too…goody goody. How was he not bored with them yet?

Maya snorted. "Let me guess. You like to ride mechanical bulls?" What did Lucas ever see in this girl? She was completely transparent to her. She was as fake as her hair extensions.

Jessica raised an eyebrow at the blonde. "Only when I'm missing the real thing," she purred before she looked back at Lucas.

Riley thought she was going to throw up. She hopped down from the ledge Maya and she sat on. She looked at Lucas before she looked back at Jessica. "I'm in."

* * *

"Riley, this is not a good idea," Maya tried to tell her as they got ready to go out. After they left the rodeo, the girls stopped in a few shops on the way back to Pappy Joe's. Unfortunately for Maya, Riley found just what she was looking for. She tried talking the brunette out of the hair-brained scheme she had concocted, but it was no use. "Just be you. That's who he likes."

"I'm not about to get caught wearing pigtails again with that girl around. And besides, I already bought the clothes. Might as well wear them."

"You a lot of work," Maya let out a breath. "Oh…just for the record, you are not allowed to watch 'Grease' ever again, ok? Clearly that movie has rubbed off on you in the wrong way." She looked down at her phone to check the time. They had thirty minutes. "Ok. Let's see it."

Riley was tugging her shirt up and shorts down as she walked out of the bathroom.

Maya's mouth fell open. "Riley Matthews!"

"Is it that bad?" She walked back into the bathroom to look at her appearance. She sported daisy duke shorts, frayed at the edges. A black belt with a huge silver buckle hugged on her hips. She wore a white lace corset top, which exposed a few inches of her midriff below her belly button. She stole one of Lucas's teal plaid shirts and threw it on over top of the corset, sleeves rolled up, the ends tied across her chest, so some of Riley's cleavage still peeked over the shirt.

Maya blinked several times as she looked her best friend over. It was by far the most revealing thing she had ever seen Riley wear, but she had to admit that she looked amazing. "I still think Jessica will be wearing less if that was the look that you were going for. But…if you were trying to grab his attention, um…I think this will do the trick."

Riley continued to adjust her top as she tried to figure out the most comfortable way to wear the restricting corset. "I just want him to know that…I'm a girl too."

"He already knows that, Riley. You don't have to dress a certain way to get his attention."

Riley shrugged. "I'm not. Believe me. I could have done a lot worse than this. I only feel slightly self-conscious in this." She tugged her shorts down slightly.

Maya walked into the bathroom and watched Riley try to tug on various parts of her outfit. "You shouldn't feel self-conscious because," she gestured to her outfit, "Wow. How's that corset doing?"

"That's the only uncomfortable part of this, but beauty is pain, right?"

Even though Riley looked incredible, and she knew that Lucas would definitely react in the way Riley wanted him to, Maya wanted to make sure that Riley knew that she didn't have to go to these extremes to get his attention. "You don't have to do this."

"I already cut the tags off. Once we get back home, dad will never let me go out in this. Might as well get one night out of it." Besides," she looked at herself again. "I feel like an actual girl in this."

"You should! All I see is cleavage!"

Riley tugged the corset up a little. "Can we curl my hair now?"

* * *

"What is taking so long," Zay groaned as he paced Pappy Joe's living room floor. It was nearly 8:00 and they had originally planned to be at the restaurant at 7:00. Zay normally didn't care about time delays, but this was the one time he found himself wanting to be somewhere already.

Farkle frowned. "What's wrong?"

Lucas chuckled. "Jessica told Zay that Vanessa was going to be there tonight."

"Who's Vanessa," Maya asked as she entered the living room.

Lucas smiled. Some things never change. He had wondered if Vanessa still had an effect on his best friend. It was safe to say that she still made him nervous. "Well, Vanessa is a girl Zay had a little crush on."

"It wasn't just a little crush," Zay mocked. He turned to Maya. Clearly Lucas didn't quite remember just how much the girl in question had meant to him. "It was true love, but I'm over it now."

When he began to pace once more, Maya and Farkle exchanged amused looks. Obviously, Zay wasn't quite over this Vanessa person. Maya smiled. She had a feeling tonight was going to be pretty entertaining between Zay and Vanessa and Lucas and-

"Where's Riley," Lucas asked. He glanced at the clock on the wall. "It's after 8."

Maya turned around and groaned when she realized that her best friend wasn't behind her. If the girl couldn't even walk into the living room, how was she going to go out in that outfit? "She was right behind me. Come on, Riles!"

"Coming," she yelled back as she jogged in to the living room. "Sorry, I forgot my…" she frowned at the three pairs of eyes who were openly staring back at her. "Bag," her voice trailed off. She froze as the guys continued to stare at her. "Ok, what? Is there something on my face?"

"I, um…" Lucas stammered.

Maya raised an eyebrow at Farkle. He was practically drooling. "Hey. You're taken, buddy."

Farkle tore his eyes away from one of his best friends to look at his girlfriend. "Sorry. It's just...so…so…"

Maya put her hands on her hips. "So what, _dear_?"

Farkle smacked Zay in the chest. "Help me out, Zay."

"Uhh," Zay was drawing a blank. He had never seen Riley as anything more than a good friend, but looking at her while she was dressed like that, he couldn't help the typical teenage boy thoughts that had begun to run through his mind.

"What about Vanessa," Farkle asked him.

Zay blinked several times as he searched his brain. That name seemed familiar, but he couldn't place it. "Vanessa who?"

Maya couldn't help but chuckle. If Riley wanted attention, it was definitely working with these guys. She looked over at Lucas. "Huckleberry? You ok?"

"I…" he cleared his throat as he stood up. Was she trying to give him a heart attack? Riley Matthews, the literal girl of his dreams, looked incredible. No, incredible didn't seem fitting.

It wasn't because of what she _wasn't_ wearing, but it was because of what she _was_ wearing. He had been looking for his teal plaid shirt everywhere, but seeing her wear it completely took his breath away. She looked so much better in it than he ever did. As he managed to look over the rest of her outfit, his protective instincts started to kick in. He heard Zay and Farkle stumble over their conversations with Maya, and he couldn't help but want to smash their heads together for looking at Riley like that. And those were his best friends. He couldn't imagine how he was going to react when they were around strangers. "You need to change," he told her once he found his voice.

Riley frowned. That wasn't the exact reaction she was going for. She was hoping for a compliment or at least a smile from him—not an order to go change her clothes. "No," she told him as she defiantly put her hands on her hips.

"We aren't going anywhere until you change," he reiterated.

"No," she repeated, her anger growing. How was it ok that Jessica paraded around in far more revealing outfits without being made to feel bad about it? Meanwhile Riley had decided to try something different for once and she was told that she needed to go change. She wasn't going to have any of that. During her therapy sessions, she realized that she had a voice: once she intended to use. She wasn't going to let any man boss her around. Not even the one who held her heart. She breezed past him as she walked outside.

"Riley," he called out from behind her. After she spun to face him, he continued, "What are you doing?"

"Trying something new," she said as she walked toward Pappy Joe's truck. She folded down the bed as she climbed in the back of it.

"Farkle and Zay can sit in the back," he told her as he reached the back of the truck.

"No," she told him. "I want to ride in the back of a truck. I want to try to dress a little differently. Look Lucas, I dated a guy who tried to control me for three years. I'm not about to let anyone else do it."

It felt like he had been punched in the stomach. "That's what you think? You think I'm like him?!"

Riley regretted saying it the moment she said it, but how did all of this get turned on her? He was the one trying to dictate what she wore. She looked past him at Maya, Farkle, and Zay. "All of you at one point of another have tried to tell me who I am or who I should be. I just want to be me. That means making mistakes and trying new things. I've always supported you guys and things you've wanted to try to do. I've been the biggest supporter of you two," she gestured to Maya and Farkle, "Even when you both couldn't admit to each other how you felt. And Zay, I encouraged you to try out for the football team and told you when you didn't make it that at least you tried." She looked back at Lucas. "And not even ten hours ago, I encouraged you to ride a bull and the whole time my brain was _SCREAMING_ at me to stop you. But I didn't. Cause I _KNEW_ that you had something to prove to yourself." She ran a hand through her loosely curled locks. "I'm in Texas. I'm having _FUN_ here. I wanted to dress a little differently tonight. And now, I want to ride around in the bed of a truck with the wind whipping all around me. So just let me, ok?!"

Lucas was taken aback. On the one hand, he still had a strong desire to pull her out of that truck, fling her over his shoulder and make her change her clothes, but on the other hand, he knew she was right. If she wanted to try to dress a different way, he had no right to make her change. "Ok," he agreed as he walked over to the driver's side door. As he climbed in, he couldn't help but hope that he didn't have to kill anyone tonight.


	31. Chapter 31

_**A/N: I'm glad you guys like the quick updates. I wrote out the entire day (Tombstone and the multi-chapter Chubbie's stuff) in one afternoon so that's why the updates are coming quicker right now. I know I won't be able to keep this kind of pace up for too much longer.**_

 ** _I also love how excited y'all seem to be about where the evening goes. Hopefully I don't disappoint._**

 ** _I'm dedicating this chapter to Nan because she actually inspired (manipulated) something that is coming up soon that ended up having a ripple effect on the whole story (which is why I have no idea how long this story is going to be anymore)._**

 ** _Thank you all for the amazing feedback. It's definitely a major inspiration for me and part of why I've been able to update so quickly._**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-One

Maya and Riley watched in pure amusement as Farkle devoured another rack of ribs, his face, once again, completely covered in barbeque sauce. "Aren't you getting tired of them," Riley asked, completely perplexed by her best friend's sudden fondness for southern cuisine.

"More," he grumbled.

"Easy cowboy," Lucas teased as he looked around the group of shocked faces. "You need to calm down." He was just as surprised as everyone else that Farkle had eaten that many ribs in only two days of being in Texas.

Farkle snapped out of his rib trance at Lucas's words. He looked at the blonde like he had grown a second head. "Oh, I have to calm down? They make a big deal out of you riding a bull for four seconds." He turned back to his plate, his face ravenous once again. "Well, I ate him."

"Well, it looks like Farkle found a new favorite food," Riley commented as she poked at the food on her plate. Her appetite wasn't as insatiable as his. In fact, Riley had barely eaten much of anything since the previous evening. Thoughts about Lucas, the bull, and Jessica raged through her on top of her normal (if you could call them that) thoughts about her ex-boyfriend and her hesitancy to tell any of her friends the reality of that awful night. Most of the time, she simply forced herself to eat, but after she found out about Jessica, and after the realization of how deeply she really did care about Lucas this afternoon, food just didn't appeal to her anymore. She was completely on edge as her heart kept slamming into her chest at the mere thought of Lucas reconciling with his ex-girlfriend.

"Too bad it won't be as good back home," Zay sighed. "Those chain Texas styled restaurants aren't nearly as good as places like this." He looked around the restaurant. Overall, he was happy that he moved a few years back, but the food. Zay missed the food.

"I do miss this style of food when I'm in New York," Lucas agreed.

Maya frowned. "We have other things."

"Can you get any kind of food you could ever want at 3 in the morning here?" Of course, Riley had never actually done it, but she remembered that when her mom was pregnant with her brother, she would send her father out in the middle of the night to get the most random foods. One time he came back with a fully cooked steak and an entire pizza.

"I could if my fridge had it," Zay told her.

"I like Texas, don't get me wrong," Riley looked around the room. "But New York is home." She could definitely see the appeal of the area. She felt a little freer here, and she loved the idea of being able to look at the stars at night, but New York was all she had known. Her parents were there. Her friends were there. And as screwed up as it got sometimes, her life was there.

"Lucas," an unfortunately now familiar voice called from behind Riley and Maya.

Lucas looked up and smiled at the blonde who joined their table. "Hey Jess."

Riley cut her eyes to Maya who simply rolled her eyes. Riley gave her friend a small smile. Thank God for Maya. Riley was certain that she would have gone insane by now if she didn't have her best friend.

Jessica placed her hands on the table as she leaned forward, ensuring that she was exposing as much cleavage as possible. She knew what she wanted, and she knew exactly how to get it. Lucas had only been gone for seven months. These people couldn't possibly know as much as she knew about him in that time period. Jessica and Lucas grew up together. They had shared everything together. There was no competition to be had. Jessica was determined to get him back. "Come dance with me before Maddie and Tae perform."

Before he could say anything, she had pulled him out of his seat and nudged him toward the dance floor. He turned his head to look back at the table, to look at Riley, but she had her head turned toward Maya. He sighed as he spun back around to Jessica.

Riley took a deep breath as she stood up. She had barely touched her food, but she felt like she was going to be sick. She knew that if she had to watch Jessica and Lucas dance, she would definitely throw up. "I'm going to the bathroom."

"You ok," Zay asked as he noticed her sudden change. She had been quiet all afternoon, but now she looked a little green. He looked down at her plate. She had done a good job of pushing her food around, but Zay noticed immediately that she had barely eaten any of it.

"Yeah." She glanced at the dance floor for a moment before she walked in the opposite direction towards the women's room.

Zay shook his head. It normally took him awhile to pick up on the little things people did when they were upset, but with the way Riley and Lucas had acted over the last few months, he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that the two of them obviously had feelings for one another. "I'm not going to care about anybody for the rest of my life. I tried it once. It didn't work. From now on, I like nobody." Love only brought pain. It only brought disappointment and heartache, and he knew that after watching Riley and Lucas brood about it for months, it just wasn't worth the effort.

"Zay?"

The small group looked up to see a girl around their age approach them. Farkle and Maya turned to look at Zay who seemed indisputably uncomfortable. "Unbelievable," was the only thing that could come out of his mouth. Didn't someone hear him just now? He was done with all of this stuff. Why? Why now? Why did she have to see him now? His heart fluttered as he looked at her. He hadn't seen Vanessa in three years, but she looked even better than what he remembered.

Vanessa gave him a warm smile. She had never thought of Zay as anything more than Lucas's friend. And Lucas dated one of her best friends at the time. She knew that Lucas was bad news, so she just assumed that Zay was the same way. Soon after Zay moved, she started distancing herself from Jessica. They were still cordial. They went to the same school and were on the cheerleading squad together, but she knew that once they graduated, she would probably never talk to her again. They were too different. "How's New York been treating you?"

Was she actually talking to him? Was this real? Had he fallen asleep in Mr. Matthews' history class again? He had to act casual. He needed to show her that he had grown up, matured. "Good, you know. Made new friends."

She looked at Farkle and Maya and smiled at them. They seemed nice enough. "Looks like you did. Want to introduce me?"

She wanted to meet his friends? "Uh, yeah. This is Farkle."

"Texas lady," he greeted with a smile. He couldn't help but to enjoy this whole exchange. He had seen his friend flirt with girls at school before, but he had never seen Zay so nervous. The girl who stood before them seemed nice. He wandered why they didn't really connect when Zay lived in Texas.

Zay looked over Maya who simply grinned at him. He had a sinking feeling that she was plotting something. "And this is my friend, Maya."

Maya immediately stood up, fire in her eyes as she glared at Zay. "You did not just do that!"

Zay was confused. "What?" What had happened in the span of ten seconds to make Maya go from grinning at him to yelling at him?

Maya waved her finger at him. "You did not just introduce your girlfriend as your friend." She hoped that he would pick up on what she was trying to do, but she also knew that sometimes it took Zay awhile to pick up on things like this. Judging by the way that he seemed to be totally uncomfortable around Vanessa, Maya was willing to bet that he would have no clue what she was trying to do to help him out.

Zay laughed nervously. "What?"

"Isaiah Earl Babineaux." Three years and Maya had no clue what his middle name was. It was a complete shot in the dark.

Vanessa frowned. What was going on? "Your middle name is Earl?"

Zay shook his head. "No." He was completely lost. What was Maya doing? Was she trying to scare Vanessa off or something? And Earl? Really?

Farkle tried to stifle a chuckle, grateful that he wasn't being pulled into this. He knew exactly what his scheming girlfriend was doing. He was glad to be catching the show for once. Over the years, Maya and Riley had pulled Farkle into so many schemes; he couldn't even begin to number them. Watching her work was a thing of beauty and one of a million reasons why he was head over heels for her. She challenged everyone she met—and Farkle loved a challenge.

Maya faced Zay. She widened her eyes and moved them to the side to try to signal him without telling him that she was trying to help him out. "The next time you introduce your girlfriend as your friend, we are through. Do you hear me?"

Zay was still lost. Girlfriend? Wasn't she dating Farkle? Maya was cute and everything, but she wasn't really his type. "I hear you, but I mean…"

Maya nearly groaned at his comment. He wasn't getting it. She made a mental note to have a long conversation with him about schemes and how they worked once this one was over. "Put your arm around me," she commanded. Once he put a hesitant arm around her, she rolled her eyes. "Twirl my hair." Once he started playing with her hair, she let out a dramatic breath. "Call me honey nugget."

He glanced at Farkle who had turned away from them to hide the laughter that threatened to ruin Maya's plan. Zay looked back at Maya. This had to be some sort of dream. Why was Farkle ok with this? He even seemed to be amused by it. "Hi honey nugget."

She grinned at him sweetly. "Hi hunkalicious."

Vanessa lifted her eyebrows. She had no idea what was going on, but the blonde seemed a little threatened by her. "A little possessive, no?"

Maya cut her eyes to Farkle before she looked back at Vanessa. "Well, the good ones you don't let get away you know what I mean? With all the girls chasing him around New York City, you'll have to," she could feel the tangles that had suddenly taken up residence in her meticulously curled locks. _'Zay better appreciate this,'_ she thought as she smacked his hand to get him to stop messing with her hair, "swoop right in or he'll be gone." She noticed that Riley had walked up behind Vanessa. She raised an eyebrow at her best friend, hoping that Riley had caught enough of the conversation in order to play along with her.

Riley had witnessed Zay playing with Maya's hair. She also noticed the girl they were talking to. It had to be Vanessa. There was no other reason for Zay to be messing around with Maya's hair like that, especially in front of Farkle. And Farkle just seemed completely entertained by all of this. Yep. It had to be some sort of scheme.

Maya gave Riley a small nod. "I said, you have to swoop right in or he will—"

Riley knew that her help was needed. She was more than grateful for the distraction from the couple on the dance floor. She ran around Vanessa to sit next to Zay in the same chair. She nearly knocked him out of it with the force in which she landed. "Isaiah Hank Babineaux," she scolded as she threw his other arm around her neck.

Zay just shook his head. "No."

Riley shook her finger at him for emphasis, "I don't care. I only care that you don't let Maya get her hooks into you when you know that you are mine." She smiled sweetly at the girl in front of them.

Zay knew this was getting out of hand quickly. Whatever the girls were up to was clearly not working. He removed his arms from each girl as he tried to explain the situation to Vanessa. "This is my friend, Riley."

Maya wasn't going to give up the game that easily. She placed her chin in her hand as she turned to her best friend. "Now, how do you like it when he calls you a friend, Riley?"

Riley smiled. "I like it."

Maya shook her head. "No, you do not like it."

Riley's smile dropped as she turned to Zay. "I do not like it when you call me just friend."

"Well, what would you like for me to call you?" Zay wished that they would just stop. Just, for the love of everything, stop all of this. Why were they making him look like a complete jerk in front of Vanessa?

Her face lit up as her brain tried to search for a cute pet name. Her mind drew a blank as her thoughts still heavily remained on Jessica and Lucas. Riley loved to act, but she wasn't good enough to completely forget about them. "I would like for you to call me…cotton candy face."

Maya pat her on the arm. Cotton candy face? Well…that was Riley. Great actress. Not so great at the improv. "Good girl, I know that was hard."

Vanessa tried to hide her smile. Once Riley came into the picture, Vanessa figured out what was going on. Maybe Zay had changed? Maybe he wasn't the guy she thought he was when he lived in Austin. Clearly his friends would do anything for him. "Zay, have I misjudged you?"

Riley smiled at her, pleased that another one of Maya's schemes apparently worked. "It's possible, Vanessa."

Vanessa raised an eyebrow at her. "How do you know my name?"

"Uh," she looked at Maya. Why didn't she just shut up while they were ahead? Why was her brain on autopilot now? Oh, because her stupid heart had to go and fall in love with someone who wasn't even hers.

"Too much," Maya said.

Farkle's smile fell. "Too much."

"Too much," Maya said once more as she, Riley, and Farkle stood up and sprinted towards the stage where the band was setting up.

Luckily the house music had stopped so Jessica and Lucas were just standing around as they waited for Maddie and Tae to begin. Somehow, Riley ended up standing on the other side of Lucas, Maya next to her and Farkle on the other side. Riley wanted to go stand on the other side of Farkle, but knew that it would be more than a little obvious if she moved now.

Lucas turned and smiled at Riley. She returned his warm smile with a forced one of her own. She didn't want to smile. She wanted to be anywhere other than where she was at that very moment.

As the MC introduced the band, Riley began to felt a little relief. Maybe some music will get her mind off of the couple next to her.

"This first one's a love song," one of the girls announced.

"Uh-oh," Riley and Lucas said simultaneously.

Riley wanted the earth to open up and swallow her. A love song. Really? Really, Maddie & Tae? She sighed. She couldn't blame the band. She only had herself to blame. If she could only figure out how to express herself to him. If only they could somehow figure out how to communicate with one another. Everything would be easier.

"It's called 'No Place Like You'."

Riley glanced over at Jessica, who, true to form, was wearing even less than Riley was. Riley glanced over at Maya as she tried to indiscreetly motion for Maya to look at Jessica. Maya took the hint and checked out the blonde. After a moment she looked back at Riley. She reached for her arm as she pulled her close. "She's not you," Maya whispered. As she moved to let go of Riley's arm, Riley reached her other hand out to stop her. Maya looked at her, confused at first, but once she saw Riley shake her head no, Maya understood. Riley needed some support, a small distraction from having to endure all of this.

As the duo on stage began to sing, Riley couldn't help but to sneak a few side glances at Jessica and Lucas. Jessica was mouthing along to the words of the song as she inched closer and closer to him. Riley turned her head back to Maya. Farkle had put his arm around her waist as they swayed to the music. Riley looked down at where she had attached herself to Maya. This wasn't fair to her. Maya had a boyfriend. They were on a vacation, but Riley realized that Maya had dealt with Riley's drama the whole time. Riley knew Maya needed to spend some time with her boyfriend, though she would never say it. Riley slowly detached herself from her best friend.

Maya looked at her, a frown formed on her features.

Riley gave her a reassuring smile. She folded her hands in front of her as she looked back at the band. She wasn't going to look at Lucas and Jessica again. She wouldn't allow herself to.

That resolve only lasted about 30 seconds. When Riley turned her head in their direction once more, she noticed that Jessica had inched even closer to Lucas, her arm looped through his, much like what she had done with Maya. Riley couldn't stand there anymore, so she considered her options. She couldn't latch onto Maya again. It wouldn't help. It felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room. She just needed to get away from everyone.

As the song drew to a close, Riley decided to sneak off to a different part of the club. Somehow, she ended up at the bar. She looked back at her friends before she looked back at the bar. She needed an escape. She also wanted to try new things. And one thing she had never tried before was alcohol. She looked down at her appearance. She knew she would probably get IDed, but she had to at least try. She shimmied out of Lucas's shirt and casually wrapped it around her waist before she sat on a barstool.

"What can I get you," the bartender asked as he placed a napkin in front of her.

Riley didn't think she'd ever get this far with her plan. She thought for sure that she would get carded and that would be the end of it. She quickly tried to think about what she could possibly get. Beer seemed pretty standard, but she had smelled the stuff when her dad took her to see the New York Knicks play and it had made her nauseous. She looked at the different varieties of alcohol on the shelf before her eyes landed on the frozen margarita machine. That looked appealing. "Margarita," she said casually.

The bartender smiled at her. "Frozen or on the rocks"

"Frozen." As he turned to make her drink, Riley called out, "Can I get an extra shot of tequila in it?"

"You got it," he called back to her.

A smile formed on Riley's lips. Finally. Something was going right.


	32. Chapter 32

_**A/N: To whoever told me to throw Jessica down a well...let me just say that you made my day yesterday. I still laugh just thinking about it. Loved all of the reviews. Once again, you guys inspire me so much. So, thank you!**_

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Two

Riley took a deep breath before she tasted the concoction before her. She had never tried alcohol in her life and her knowledge of it only extended to what she saw on tv and in movies. The first sip made her shudder, but she soon discovered that it tasted better the more she drank it. She turned in her seat to listen to Maddie & Tae's next song.

 _/Baby blue staring in the window pane_ _  
_ _Just counting drops of rain_ _  
_ _Wondering if she's got the guts to take it_ _  
_ _Running down her dreams in a dirty dress,_ _  
_ _Now her heart's a mess_ _  
_ _Praying she'll find a way to make it/_ _  
_

Riley froze as she listened to the lyrics of this song. Was this really happening right now? Did Maddie & Tae just see into her soul or something? It was bad enough having to listen to a love song standing next to the guy she was in love with and his ex-girlfriend who clearly wanted him back. Did she now have to listen to another song that seemed to speak about her current frame of mind?

 _/So keep on climbing, though the ground might shake  
Just keep on reaching though the limb might break  
We've come this far, don't you be scared now  
'Cause you can learn to fly on the way down/_

Lucas couldn't help but think about Riley as he listened to the song. She had been through so much over the last several months, and he knew that he didn't help to ease any of it by basically giving her an ultimatum. He just couldn't stand the thought of her keeping anything from him. He knew things were awkward at best between them, and their argument earlier that evening had completely unnerved him. He hated the way things were between them. He hated that there seemed to be this wall up between them and that no matter how hard he tried to break it down, it seemed to always, somehow, reinforce itself even stronger.

 _/Searching for a sign in the night even like a lonely string of lights  
That'll burn just long enough for you to see it  
The road's been long and lonely and you feel like giving up  
There's more to this than just the breath you're breathing/_

Riley had finished the first margarita and had already ordered a second one as she continued to listen to the lyrics of the song. Even as she sat there, almost two thousand miles away from him, she still thought about Charlie. She thought that she wouldn't think about him anymore after the trial. She thought that he would just disappear from her world completely. She thought it would be as if he never existed.

How could she have been so naïve?

The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. He would never leave her—not completely. Sleep still eluded her most nights. She was still afraid of him. He still held this control over her that she couldn't seem to shake. She didn't want to think about him. She didn't want to dream about him. She wanted to move on fully from this. She wanted…

She wanted to forget.

She reached for her second margarita.

 _/So keep on climbing, though the ground might shake  
Just keep on reaching though the limb might break  
We've come this far, don't you be scared now  
'Cause you can learn to fly on the way down/_

Lucas glanced around the room, curious as to where Riley had disappeared. He looked at Maya who didn't appear to be too concerned. Maybe she went to the bathroom? He had to admit that he was glad she missed this song. The last thing she needed while she was on vacation was a reminder of her past. She appeared to be moving forward now that the trial was finally over with. She seemed to be having a good time in Texas, so far. Lucas knew that she would still think about…him, but she hadn't mentioned having any more nightmares about him or that night.

Then again, they hadn't really talked about it since New Years.

He looked at the girl who stood right beside him. Jessica. Jessica and Riley couldn't be more different. He had to admit that he never had to wonder what was on her mind. He never had to question how she felt about him, even when they cheated on one another. Even after the umpteenth breakup. They had been friends long before they became something more. She helped him deal with his father. She was there every time he ran away from home. She saw the bruises. She helped him forget.

If she did all of those things, then why did he feel like the wrong girl was standing next to him right now?

 _/On the way down/_

He and Riley weren't together. God, were they even friends anymore? He didn't know. The only thing he knew was that whenever he was able to get in a few hours of precious sleep, she was the last thing he thought about at night and the first thing he thought about when he woke up. Every time he looked at her, he felt a flutter in his chest that he had never felt with Jessica.

He had never worked so hard to be with anyone before. He initially thought it was simply because he had changed from the person he was in Texas, but he knew that wasn't the case. Yes, he had changed, but it was because of her. It was because ever since he saw her on the subway, she made him believe that he could be anyone he wanted to be. Everything about her had completely enchanted him.

He glanced back at Jessica. He knew that he could get back together with her if he wanted to. She had made it more than a little obvious that she still cared about him, but that wasn't what he wanted. It was never a question.

He wanted Riley.

It was always Riley.

 _/You won't forget the heavy steps it took to let it go  
Close your eyes, count to ten, hold your breath and fly/_

Brain freeze. Riley cringed. In her quest to try to ignore Maddie & Tae, she decided that the quicker her thoughts slowed down, the better she would feel. She forgot that even when consuming frozen alcoholic beverages, brain freezes could occur.

Why wasn't this song over yet? The whole point of her drinking was so she could just have a few hours of relative normalcy, not to feel like everyone's eyes were on her, waiting to see if she would break. She looked around her. She caught a few guys looking at her, but she wouldn't dare believe that it was because she was attractive. She just assumed that they somehow knew her secret: that she related to this song a lot more than she wanted to.

She knew she needed to tell one of them eventually. Maya was always the front-runner in that race, but Riley couldn't bring herself to put that on her. She had blocked out a lot of what happened that night, but Maya had spent the night in the hospital room with her. Maya had cried alongside Riley about it all. If she found out that Charlie almost—Riley took another swig of her margarita.

She couldn't do that to Maya. Maya's anger at Charlie would only grow and intensify, and Riley didn't want her to feel like she could have somehow prevented all of this. Riley knew her best friend. Maya would feel guilty about it all. The mere thought of it made Riley's stomach lurch.

 _/Keep on climbing, though the ground might shake  
Just keep on reaching though the limb might break  
We've come this far, don't you be scared now  
'Cause you can learn to fly on the way down/_

She knew who she wanted to talk to about it. She just wasn't sure that she could put that burden on him either. He was the only other person she knew who had been in any sort of abusive relationship with someone he thought he could trust. He had begged her to let him in, to let him help her, but she refused time and time again, sacrificing her own happiness in order to preserve his growth.

God. He had grown so much in the seven months she had known him. He smiled. He laughed. He looked out for other people before himself.

But maybe he didn't care anymore. Besides their brief conversation the previous night, they hadn't really talked to one another in so long. Were they even friends anymore?

The thought that might not be was enough to drive Riley to tears, let alone the thought that maybe he didn't feel for her the way she did about him.

She loved him.

And it scared her.

* * *

Maya knew Riley had left the group, but she assumed that she needed some fresh air or maybe needed to go to the restroom. Twenty minutes later and Maya finally went in search for her missing best friend.

It didn't take long to find her.

At the bar.

With an empty margarita glass in front of her.

Maya noted that Riley had also opted to wrap Lucas's shirt around her waist instead of using it as a jacket. "Riley?"

Riley turned to Maya, a grin on her lips. "Peaches!" She threw her arms around her. "I'm so glad you're here!"

Maya let out a long breath. How was it possible that Riley managed to get alcohol? She looked at her best friend. Oh. Right. Her outfit. "How many have you had?"

Riley pursed her lips together as she debated on whether or not to tell Maya the truth. Maybe she could do it slowly. Then it wouldn't sound so bad. "Um…two margaritas."

Maya considered it for a moment. Personally, she had never touched alcohol, but sometimes her mother would bartend on the weekends, and occasionally she would vent about the drunken escapades she had to witness. Two margaritas didn't sound too terrible. Maya guessed that Riley was probably decently buzzed, numb even, but not too far gone as to do something she might regret. "That's not too bad."

Riley leaned in close to her. "With extra shots of tequila in them," she whispered.

Maya's eyes widened at best friend's confession. "It's bad. It's really bad." She looked back toward where the guys stood before she turned back at Riley. With everything that happened earlier today, and everything that's happened so far on this trip, Maya knew that if Riley's inhibitions were lowered, there was no telling what she would do. It was completely new territory for her. "I think we need to go."

She shook her head. "Nope." She was finally starting to let go of all of the drama and she was finally not thinking about anything other than her desire to have fun. There was no way she was going to leave now.

"Why not?"

"Because…I'm fine. I'm actually enjoying myself right now. I'm not worried about stupid boys or thinking about what happened or even feeling insecure. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm me." She looked down at herself. "Well, almost," she giggled as she looked down at her outfit. "But I feel like I can make this work."

"You're definitely making something work," Maya raised an eyebrow. She had a bad feeling about this. Riley had turned into someone who was the exact opposite of who she was. She was starting to remind Maya of—no. Maya tried to shake off that train of thought. Riley wasn't her, Riley would never be her. Riley Matthews was the best person she knew. She would never sell herself short and stoop to that girl's level.

"And now," she gestured behind Maya, "I'm about to ride that bull."

Maya blinked. "What?" She had to have heard her incorrectly. Riley was about to do what?

She nodded. "The mechanical bull!" She looked over at the corner of the club where someone was getting ready to jump on it. Riley hopped down from the barstool. "I bet I can stay on for more than four seconds. What do you think?"

"Riley, are you sure that's a good idea?" Even though it was just a mechanical bull, Maya knew that there was still a good chance that an inebriated Riley could get seriously hurt on it. What was she doing? Did she feel like she had something to prove by doing all of this?

She nodded as she continued to grin at her friend. "Time to face my fears, right? Might as well do it while my inhibitions are lowered." She walked over to where the mechanical bull was.

"Yeah. It's those lowered inhibitions I'm worried about." She sighed. She really didn't want to drag the guys into this situation, one guy in particular, but she wasn't sure what to do. The last thing she wanted was for Riley to get hurt. Maya kept her eyes on Riley even as she rejoined the guys.

Farkle frowned as he looked at his girlfriend. "Where's Riley?"

Maya wasn't quite sure how to answer that. She knew where Riley was physically, but her headspace was a completely different story. Her eyes drifted to Lucas. He seemed to be engaged in a conversation with Jessica. She ran a hand through her hair, her frustration with him mounting. She told herself she was going to stay out of the Riley/Lucas drama, but she was well aware of the reasons why her best friend was acting like this, and it was about time that he knew it. "Oh, you know…had a few drinks at the bar. About to—"

"She did what," Lucas interrupted as he looked up from his conversation with Jessica.

Maya felt her protective instincts kick in. So now Huckleberry decided to act interested when Riley had been missing for at least twenty minutes? She briefly thought about not saying anything to him, but she knew that if anyone could talk Riley out of riding a mechanical bull—and into acting like Riley again-it would be Lucas. "Yep. And she's getting ready to ride that mechanical bull."

Lucas looked around them as he tried to spot the brunette. "Why? Why would she do that?"

Maya looked at the girl next to Lucas. "Do you want me to paint you a picture," she cut her eyes back to him, "Or can you just connect the dots?"

"Damn it," he muttered as he walked toward the mechanical bull, the group trailing closely behind. He had no idea what was going on with her. First the outfit, and now the alcohol and riding a bull? "Riley," he called to her as they got near.

She was about to step on the mat when she saw her friends approach. "Hey," she greeted as took off the plaid shirt wrapped around her waist.

"What the hell are you doing," Lucas asked her as he reached her. He was trying his best to reign in his anger-because she had never been a witness to it and the last thing he wanted to do was to push her further away-but he wasn't about to let her get on that mechanical bull.

"Are you riding or not," the attendant asked Riley.

She smiled sweetly at him. "Yes."

"No," Lucas said simultaneously, his focus solely on the intoxicated brunette in front of him.

The attendant looked back and forth between the two of them. "You two figure it out while someone else goes."

"I'll go," Jessica said as she sauntered toward the attendant.

Riley turned to Lucas. "You can't tell me what to do."

Lucas clenched his jaw. What was she doing to him? He wanted to shake her and kiss her at the same time. She was completely infuriating! "When it comes to your safety, yes I can."

She crossed her arms. "No, you can't. I'm serious, Lucas. I'm done with people who think they can dictate my life. I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

He lifted his arms just to drop them by his sides as his frustration continued to mount. She wasn't being reasonable at all right now! He was simply trying to protect her. Why couldn't she see that? Why did she think that he was trying to hold her back from life? God. He loved that she seemed to love Austin, and was having fun, but dressing like that and drinking wasn't like her, and that scared Lucas more than anything. "Riley, you're drunk."

She shook her head. "I might be feeling pretty good right now, but I can see everything crystal clear."

He frowned. "What are you talking about?" She wasn't making any sense! He thought this trip would bring them closer, not tear them apart.

The sound of the mechanical bull starting diverted Riley's attention. She turned to watch Jessica ride the mechanical bull for about five seconds before she slid off the bull as gracefully as Riley had ever seen anyone fall. It made her nauseous.

As Riley watched Jessica, Lucas watched Riley. What had gotten into her? He wanted to know, but she hadn't opened up to him much at all in the last several months. It killed him to know that instead of them getting closer, she seemed to be putting more and more distance in between them. He thought this trip would bring them closer together, not tear them apart. He knew that if he dragged her out of Chubbie's, drunk or not, she might not ever forgive him. If he let her get on that bull and she got hurt, he would never forgive himself.

He had no idea what to do about anything anymore.

As Jessica started to walk back over to the group, Riley turned to Lucas. "Hold this," she handed him his shirt before she walked towards the attendant. As Jessica strolled past her, Riley reached up and grabbed Jessica's cowboy hat from the top of her head. "Just borrowing this, Jess," she called out over her shoulder, not missing a beat. "Hope you don't mind."

She slid the cowboy hat on her head as she smiled warmly at the attendant. As he helped her get situated on the mechanical bull, Riley lightly touched his arm before she leaned in to whisper, "thank you" to him.

The attendant turned to her, their faces mere inches apart. He lifted an eyebrow at her as he lifted the corner of his mouth into a smile. "Anytime."

When he saw Riley flirt with the attendant, Lucas crossed his arms over his chest as a sudden urge to kill the attendant and bartender came over him. He looked across the room and noticed that a lot of guys had crowded around the bull to watch her. Lucas clenched his jaw.


	33. Chapter 33

_**A/N: The only note I'm making before this chapter: Music is such a huge inspiration to me. I listen to music every time I write. I'm working on a spotify playlist for this fic and my others. I tried very hard to exclude the use of music in this fic since it's such a huge presence in my other stories. Obviously, I failed with the last chapter. I didn't put the lyrics into this one for flow reasons, BUT the song "Better" by Banks HEAVILY influenced the latter half of this chapter. I highly recommend listening to it.**_

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Chapter Thirty-Three

As the bull started to move, Riley quickly chose to hold onto the strap with one hand, just like how Lucas did earlier that day. Her heart pounded in her chest as the bull began to move faster and faster. It was a complete rush for her as she spun around and as the bull moved up and down. She felt her top ride up in the back, exposing just a little more of her midriff. By the sound of the cheers she was receiving, she figured no one was offended by it.

As she began to feel herself fall off of the bull, she swung her leg over to the other side and pushed off. As she landed on her feet, the crowd erupted in applause. Riley smiled as she curtseyed. She took the hat off and waved it around as she walked out of the pen. Even in her inebriated state, she couldn't believe that she didn't fall flat on her face when she pushed off of the machine. Maybe instead of becoming clumsier (which she thought was impossible), she somehow became more graceful when she drank?

Her smile broadened when she noticed Maya clapping for her as she approached the group. She tossed the hat back to Jessica before she gave her a wink. "Thanks Jess." She wasn't sure why she was feeling so confident around the blonde now, but she loved it.

"Seven seconds," Farkle said as he looked over at her time on the board behind the bull. "Impressive."

"Thanks Farkle! You next?"

"Oh no," he shook his head as he put an arm around Maya's shoulders. "I'm still full from dinner."

Riley shifted her expectant eyes to her best friend. "Maya?"

Maya snorted. "Are you kidding me?"

"Hey," Riley heard from behind her. She turned around, coming face to face with one of the guys she saw cheering her on. "Can I buy you a drink?"

She smiled. The guy was tall; he easily towered over everyone in their group, including Lucas. His tight t-shirt showed off every muscle that Riley knew he had to have worked meticulously to get. He had dark hair, blue eyes. Riley had to admit he was attractive—extremely attractive—and if Lucas was perfectly fine hanging out with Jessica, why couldn't she get to know someone else? It's not like she and Lucas were dating or anything. He had made sure of that at New Year's. "Absolutely."

"Maybe next time." Lucas walked around the rest of the group as he stood on the other side of Riley. He crossed his arms over his chest. The guy who now stood diagonally from him easily towered over him and his muscles were exponentially bigger, but Lucas wasn't intimidated at all. Not too long ago, he would have gladly wiped the floor with a guy like him over nothing. Though he had changed over the last several months, one thing remained the same: he would do anything to protect someone he cared about—especially an intoxicated Riley Matthews.

The confused guy looked from Lucas back to Riley. He was completely oblivious to the hostility that radiated off of the guy who stood next to the gorgeous brunette. "But she just said yes?"

"She's going to dance with me," Lucas informed him without missing a beat. There was no way he would ever allow this guy, or any other guy for that matter, to buy her a drink. He had no idea what was going on with the brunette, but he would be damned if anyone took advantage of her.

Riley furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She never said she'd dance with Lucas. They had barely spoken to one another for the majority of the evening. She wasn't exactly sober, but she wasn't drunk enough to not remember him asking her to dance. "No I wasn't." She seemed completely oblivious to the possessiveness that seemed to rage within Lucas at that moment.

"Yes, you are," Maya nodded as she intruded on the conversation. She took a step back so Lucas could take Riley's hand and quickly lead her toward the dance floor before she could have a chance to react. He handed Maya the shirt that Riley had given him before she rode the bull.

Riley was even more confused as he led her away from the group and to the dance floor. What just happened? She looked back at the guy, who was now talking to Jessica.

 _Jessica_.

Apparently _everyone_ wanted to be with Jessica.

Riley rolled her eyes before she looked back at the guy who stood in front of her. "Lucas, why did you do that?"

He knew he needed to calm down. He knew that she hadn't ever seen this side of him. Flashes of it had appeared when she dated Charlie, but this was different. So much had changed from then until now. He was able to reign in his jealousy back then by reminding himself that she wasn't his. But now? After everything? It wasn't nearly as easy to do.

He knew that something was going on with her. Something else other than her sudden urge to act like someone she wasn't. "Because, you don't need to be drinking…especially with someone like that."

She frowned. Was he really trying to do this again? Was he trying to control her once more? She tried to free her hand from his grasp, but he wouldn't let her go. This only made Riley angrier. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn't have been in this kind of position with him, but right now, under the influence, she saw red. How dare he try to control her! How dare he try to tell her who she can and can't talk to! "For the last time, I'm not going to let you tell me what—"

"I know," he interrupted. "But _you_ need to know that there is no way I'm going to standby and watch someone try to take advantage of you. That's just not going to happen."

He wrapped his arms around her as a slow song started to play. They were both silent as they swayed to the music. They hadn't been that close to one another in months. Lucas's heart began to race at their closeness. God, it had been so long since they were like this. He took a deep breath as he inhaled her honey-scented shampoo. "I'm not trying to ruin your fun, Riley. If you want to drink, then we'll drink. But I'm not going to let you drink with anyone but me. Those are the rules."

She was too preoccupied with the completely euphoric feeling of being in his arms to comprehend what he said. He had somehow completely invaded every one of her senses as they swayed to the music. It took her a full minute to understand what he had said. She craned her head back to look him in the eye. "You'd drink with me?"

God, he could get completely lost in those eyes. "I haven't done it in a long time, but yes I will if it means you won't do it with random guys."

"No," she shook her head as she tried to focus more on their conversation and less on the fact that his hand, which rested on her lower back, was scorching her exposed skin under his touch. "You're doing too good to screw it up now."

His jealousies immediately bubbled back up. He spoke before he could stop himself. "Apparently I'm not doing good enough if you just want to run off with someone you don't even know rather than dance with me."

The veil of sheer bliss was lifted as she heard him loud and clear. So, she was the one to blame for all of this miscommunication between them?! Her mind began to race. In the span of about ten seconds, she concluded that he was trying to blame her decisions for their disconnect. "Well, apparently I'm not doing good enough if you'd rather spend all your time with your ex while you're here."

He frowned. "What does that mean?" Sure, they had all hung out with Jess last night and tonight, but she was a friend. He hadn't shown any interest in her other than that. Surely Riley would have seen that.

Riley didn't want to reveal her jealousy of the blonde, but now that it was out in the open, she wasn't about to recoil from it now. "You know what it means. Are you two going to rekindle things? You were together for a while, right? That chemistry doesn't just go away. You looked pretty cozy during the show earlier."

How could he have been so dense? He thought that she just needed some space. Yes, Maya had basically told him Jessica was the reason for her change, but part of him refused to believe it. Surely Riley could see that things were not like that between him and Jessica. "Is that why you left? You think Jessica and I—"

She didn't want to hear whatever he was about to say. "I don't want to know. We aren't together. You said that yourself. You don't owe me anything."

"Riley," he let out a groan, "I'm convinced you'll be the end of me."

She lifted her eyebrows at his words. "Oh, that's really nice to hear. Sorry to be such a burden to you."

"I'm not doing this while you're drunk."

"And I'm not going to do it at all." She tried to break away from him, but his grip on her tightened. "Let me go," she said darkly. That was twice within the span of a few minutes that he had grabbed her.

"No." There was no way he was going to let her go and lose her in the crowd. She was upset and under the influence. It was a combination Lucas knew all too well. It always ended in trouble. He wasn't about to let her make a decision that she would later regret.

She tried to twist out of his grip once more to no avail. Her mind immediately flashed back to Charlie grabbing her, holding her so tightly that she knew she would have bruises. She couldn't stand it anymore. He had to know what he was doing. "Stop trying to control me! You're acting just like…"

Lucas widened his eyes. Her voice had trailed off, but the damage had already been done. He knew who Riley was referring to. He just couldn't believe that she said it—that she would compare him with that animal. "…like? Like who, Riley?"

She didn't answer as her eyes fell to the floor.

Lucas dropped his hands and took a step back from her. "That's the second time tonight you've told me that I'm acting like...Riley, if you think I'm ANYTHING like him, then no wonder we can't get past everything that happened." He couldn't take it anymore. All of the fighting and the accusations. Why couldn't she understand that he wasn't trying to hold her back? Why couldn't she see that his heart broke more and more with every comparison of him to her ex boyfriend? He had to get some space from her. He turned and walked off of the dance floor, leaving a stunned Riley.

It only took a moment for her to recover and follow him outside.

"He manipulated me," Riley called out to him once they were outside of the restaurant. Lucas had made it halfway to the truck when he heard her yell from the porch. "He tried to tell me what I could do and when I could do it. How is that different than what you're doing? You're trying to tell me how to dress, how to act…how is it different, Lucas? HOW?"

He spun to face her, tears pooling in his eyes. He took three steps toward her before he stopped. "You honestly don't know how it's different? You think I'm like that…that psychopath!" He knew that they were surrounded by people coming in and out of the restaurant, but he didn't care. "I care about you, Riley. Since day one. I only want to see you happy and safe. Dressing like that," he gestured to her outfit, "drinking…it's not you. And I can't _stand_ who I am right now. I know I'm acting like a damn barbarian, but I…" he rubbed the back of his neck. He couldn't do this. Not now. Not like this. Not when they were at their absolute worst with one another.

Riley took a few steps closer to him. "How does my outfit affect you? How would me dressing different do anything to cause you to act like you can control my life? Why is it my fault?"

He took a deep breath. "Because I know…that if I'm having the thoughts I'm having about you…while you're wearing that…then all the guys in there," he gestured toward the building behind them, "Are thinking the same thing. And not every guy is going to know how to respect you."

She closed the space between them as her heart began to race. "I don't understand. What kind of thoughts?"

He groaned. "You know what kind of thoughts."

She bit her lip. "So, if you can't tell me," she took one last step toward him, "why don't you show me?" She looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes.

Lucas Friar, who had to think of everything from cold showers to the starting line up of the New York Yankees throughout the course of the entire evening, couldn't resist her anymore. Not when she looked at him like that. Not after the horrible fight they just had. His adrenaline was still racing from their argument, but instead of anger, it had turned into something else—something even more primitive. He reached for her in a microsecond and pulled her close as his lips quickly descended onto her's.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as she pulled him as close as she could. She eagerly opened her mouth against his as her need to get as close as she could to him dominated every one of her senses. They hadn't kissed since New Year's, and even though that kiss was intense, it wasn't like this. He completely consumed her from her brain down to the tips of her toes. Her whole body quaked as she felt every single emotion she had tried to quell in the last four months. She needed more. She had to have more of this.

Lucas moaned as he felt her tongue enter his mouth. _Need._ He needed her. He needed her to see how much he did care, how much he always cared. He needed her to know how much he wanted her, how much he really needed her. Four long months of knowing how they felt about one another. Four long months of not being able to do anything about it erupted in one perfect moment.

He effortlessly lifted her up off the ground as Riley wrapped her legs around his torso, their lips never breaking contact with one another. Riley couldn't think about anything other than the guy who now held her. Was this actually happening? When he pulled back from her, she opened her mouth to protest before she realized that he was struggling to pull his keys out of his pocket. She bent her head down to kiss his neck. Soft at first, unsure if this was doing anything for him. When she heard him take a shaky breath, she smiled against his skin before she slid her lips down to the base of his neck, her kisses deepening with every connection she made to his skin. She had very little experience with all of this, but maybe she was doing something right.

As Lucas tried to unlock the truck, he mentally swore at himself. He could barely function right now. Why couldn't he figure out which key to use? There were only three keys on the ring! His hands shook as he tried to fumble around with the lock. Somehow, finally, he managed to unlock it. As he opened the door, he couldn't help the moan that escaped his lips as Riley continued to focus her attention on the right side of his neck. When she heard the door open, she lifted her head to capture his lips with hers once more. She had never wanted anything more in her whole life like the way she wanted him in that moment.

Lucas wasn't aware of anything around them as they somehow managed to climb into the truck. Riley stayed in his lap as they continued to explore each other's mouths. Lucas took her face in his hands as he tried to tell her everything he couldn't seem to bring himself to say with words. She was everything he could ever want and so much more.

Riley's hands began to roam all over his body. She felt like she was about to explode from the heat of the moment. She thought that their kiss in the costume closet had been intense, but this had left it in the dust the moment his lips reached hers. She wasn't satisfied with just kissing this time. She wanted more. She needed more. Her hands dropped in front of her as she began to unbutton Lucas's shirt. She needed to feel him, needed to touch him. She wanted to know if she had the same effect on him as he did on her when she touched his skin.

Lucas broke off their kiss as his lips moved down to her jawline. He needed to hear what his effect was on her. He needed to know that she wanted him just as badly as he wanted her. He wanted nothing more than to hear how much she wanted this.

Riley closed her eyes as she moaned. God. He was perfect.

He smiled against her skin as the greatest sound in the entire world reached his ears. She was enjoying this. She wanted this. She wanted him.

Somehow her brain had been able to function long enough for her to unbutton his shirt. She didn't even bother to slide it off of him as her need to electrify him completely overpowered her. Her hands moved to his chest before she tilted her head back in complete rapture as Lucas found a spot right behind her ear lobe that instantly sent her senses into overdrive. She couldn't take it anymore. She lifted his head up so she could look at him.

"Riley," he questioned breathlessly. Had he gone too far?

She stared into his eyes for a long moment. "I love you," she whispered.


	34. Chapter 34

_**A/N: Yowza. So, I got a wide variety of reactions to that last chapter. I'm anticipating much of the same with this chapter.**_

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Chapter Thirty-Four

' _The course of true love never did run smooth.'_

Lucas couldn't help but to think about Shakespeare's immortal words as he looked into the eyes of the girl who had held a piece of him ever since he first saw her on the subway. Those were the three words that he had waited an eternity to hear from her.

It's weird though.

He had dreamt about hearing her say that to him more times than he could even begin to count. Every single time, he'd take her into his arms and swear his undying devotion to her. He would get on his knees if he had to, and thank every god in the heavens above him for allowing this angelic creature before him to love him.

As he looked into her hypnotic eyes, as he became lost in that little gold fleck once more, he realized that only seven months ago, he would have devoured her. He would have seduced her in order to satisfy his own selfish desires. He would've made her forget all about her boyfriend—for a night at least.

Six months ago, he would've gladly jumped at the chance for this moment so he could seize the opportunity to get her out of his system and move on from the feelings that he wanted to hide from.

Four months ago, he knew without a doubt that this was the path that they were steadily going down—and all for the right reasons. He no longer saw her as a conquest or as something to just get out of his system. His feelings for the brunette ran a lot deeper than they ever had for anyone else.

But now, as he looked into her eager eyes, he realized that everything about this was completely wrong. She deserved better—a lot better. Instead of taking her into his arms, he reached up to gently pull her hands from his face. "Riley…we can't do this."

She frowned. Truthfully, her confession came in the heat of the moment, but that didn't make it any less true. She realized how deep her emotions ran for the guy in front of her before he kissed in the parking lot—before her lips ever touched any drop of alcohol. Through her semi-clouded haze, she knew that what she told him was true. And he had to have known that too.

So, what did he mean by they can't do this? Can't do what? Can't be together? Wasn't this what he wanted? Didn't he just say that he wanted her? What was the problem? Was she…not what he wanted anymore? A million insecurities began to make their way to her intoxicated brain. "What?"

He sighed as he pulled back from her and began to button his shirt. He couldn't look her in the eye now. He was completely embarrassed about the whole situation. He should've known better. He knew she was drunk. She was just so damn beautiful. As much as he had changed over the last several months, he was still a teenage guy—one who constantly had to fight himself over what was right and what he wanted to do. If he were completely honest with himself, he had wanted to do that ever since their kiss at New Year's. He had been able to avoid it all by simply avoiding her, or ensuring that they were never alone with one another, but that moment…in the middle of one of their worse arguments…he snapped. She needed to know how much he needed her—wanted her. He still did. All he wanted at that moment was to press her back into him and forget everything they had said. When he saw her bite her lip in anticipation, he realized that she knew that he was starting to waiver.

God, she knew him better than anyone else did.

He was so close to giving in, but he knew he couldn't. He shook his head as he tried to chase away thoughts of the girl who still sat in his lap. "We can't do this. Not here. Not like this."

Riley's confusion slowly morphed into anger and embarrassment. "What are you talking about? A minute ago your tongue was down my throat!" She knew she was being a little crass, but she didn't care. What kind of game was he playing with her?!

He looked out the driver's side window, not really focused on any particular thing. The only thing that he knew was that he couldn't look at her right now. He had to maintain his current resolve, and he knew that if he looked at her one more time, he would throw everything out the window and give in. "I know."

She hadn't moved from her position on his lap, her muddled brain only focused on trying to understand what had changed in the span of a few seconds to make Lucas reject her. "So…what happened?"

"It shouldn't be like this Riley. We're in my grandfather's truck outside of a restaurant. Our friends could come out at anytime. Anyone could see." She deserved better. So much better than this.

"I don't care." All she wanted was him. All she wanted was this.

"That's the problem, Riley." He sighed. "You're drunk." _'And I'm an ass,'_ he thought to himself.

She reached up to turn his head back to her. "I'm not that drunk." She leaned in to kiss him, hoping that the simple act would get him to understand that yes, she had been drinking, but that this was something she had wanted for months now.

He wanted to give in. It would be the easiest thing in the world. One part of him screamed at him to continue whatever this was. He had done his good deed: he tried to warn her, tried to stop her. She insisted that this was what she wanted. And God knows it was what he wanted too.

But not like this.

It took every ounce of strength he had left in himself to pull back from her once more. He watched as her slightly swollen lips formed a pout, her eyes pleading at him to change his mind. He almost gave in at that very moment.

But his mind had been made up. He looked down as her hands dropped to her lap in defeat.

This was a mistake. He knew she had been drinking. He knew that she wasn't in the right frame of mind. He just couldn't resist her anymore. For four months he had stayed away. His frustration had finally taken over the logical side of him. For a moment, for several moments, he thought that it didn't matter where as long as they were together.

The old Lucas wouldn't have stopped.

His eyes shifted back to her. He nearly cowered at her gaze as he felt like she was seeing right through him. It was at that moment that he realized just how much he had changed since he moved to New York. And it was all because of her. "You're saying if you were sober, you would have done this? You would've told me…told me that you…you love me?"

She ran a hand through her now tangled hair. "Fine. I am drunk," she confessed. "But it doesn't mean I don't know how I feel. Being drunk doesn't make me a liar."

He shook his head. "I've dreamt of this a million times and in a million ways. And in none of those instances were you drunk."

Her eyes narrowed as her embarrassment, hurt, and anger began to quickly rise to the surface. "Yeah. And in none of those instances did I think that I would have to compete with someone for your attention."

Lucas recoiled at her words. That had been his other suspicion, but he didn't believe that she would have done this just because she felt that she had to compete with someone. "I should have known."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Should have known what?"

"This is about Jessica, right?" When she didn't react to his question, he decided to elaborate. He knew he had been slow to pick up exactly what effect his ex-girlfriend had on her, but ever since Maya planted that seed in his mind, everything began to click into place. "The clothes. The alcohol. Even kissing me." When she looked away, he knew that he was right. All of this was because of Jessica. It wasn't because of him. "You aren't ready to be with me. You just don't want to lose me."

"There isn't a difference."

"There's a big difference."

Riley slowly climbed off of him as Lucas got out of the truck. He turned to her. "The next time you tell me that you love me, I want it to be for the right reasons. I want you to realize what you're actually saying, Riley. I want you to mean it." He turned away from her as he walked back toward the restaurant. He couldn't be there with her anymore. He knew he could have had everything he wanted, but the thing he wanted most from her was for her to actually mean it, to leave no trace of doubt in his mind. She was intoxicated. She didn't want this. He didn't want this either. Not like that.

Riley sat in the truck for a few minutes, completely dumbfounded. How had her night completely turned to such a disaster within the blink of an eye? How could he just abandon her? All she did was tell him how she felt. She took a shaky breath as she felt her nose start to burn, a sure sign that tears weren't far behind. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes as she forced herself to not cry. She wasn't going to do that. If Lucas Friar didn't want to be with her, fine.

Her sadness quickly gave way to anger. If that was what he wanted, it was fine by her. She checked herself in the mirror before she opened the door. As she climbed out of the truck, she knew what she wanted to do. Drink more. She didn't want to deal with this right now. She just wanted to have fun.

As she walked back into Chubbie's, she ran a hand through her tangled locks as she scanned the room. She cringed when she saw Lucas with Zay and Jessica. "Just couldn't wait," she mumbled to herself before she walked toward the bar. He thought she was drunk. Fine. She wouldn't want to let him down twice in one night.

* * *

When he saw her back at the bar, Lucas fought the urge to pull her out of Chubbie's and take her back to Pappy Joe's, but he resisted. He knew he couldn't stop her. He also knew that he needed to keep an eye on her whether she wanted him to or not.

He watched as a guy he didn't recognize sat next to her. He flinched when he saw her laugh at something the guy said, leaned in close to him, and put her hand on his arm. He took a step closer to her when he saw her do a shot with the stranger. He knew that she was trying to make him mad. He noticed her look in his direction more than once as she talked with the stranger. He had to figure out some way to get Riley to stop—to get all of them to go back to Pappy Joe's before something else happened. He knew she wouldn't listen to him right now. Maybe the others could step in?

No.

That wouldn't work. Riley would just lash out at Maya, and Lucas knew she would regret that in the morning. He turned to look back at Riley, but she was gone. So was the stranger.

Panic began to set in as Lucas looked all around the room. Where had they gone? There was no way he could have lost track of her that quickly. Why didn't he step in as soon as she sat back down at the bar? He didn't want to anger her any further, but he'd rather face her wrath than to have anything bad happen to her.

"What's gotten into Riley," he heard Zay ask from next to him.

His worried eyes turned to one of his best friends. "Where is she?"

Zay pointed to the dance floor. Riley was dancing closely—way too closely if you asked Lucas—with the stranger. "She's…made a new friend apparently."

Jessica laughed when she saw the pair on the dance floor. "Oh…she's dancing with Justin." Jessica wasn't a fan of Riley, but she had to admit that the girl definitely had good taste in men. Maybe now Lucas would stop focusing on the brunette's whereabouts and pay more attention to her.

"You know him?"

She nodded as she took a step closer to him. "People say he's the new you, but I don't think so," she put her arm around him. "There's only one Lucas Friar." She looked back at the couple on the dance floor that had seemed to completely hypnotize Lucas. She had to distract him. She had to get him to remember what life was like when they were together—the good times anyway. "Want to go dance?"

He only thought about it for a moment. If they were dancing, he could keep a closer eye on Riley. "Let's go."

He led the way to the floor, stopping right next to where Riley and Justin were dancing. As he placed his hands on Jessica's waist, he couldn't help but think about that fact that he just wanted to go back to the house. His brain was already on overload with everything that had happened outside. As he looked at the brunette next to him, he had a sinking feeling that the night wasn't over quite yet.

Maya and Farkle had noticed Riley dancing with the stranger. Maya had even taken a step closer to her, determined to break it up. She only stopped when she spotted Lucas and Jessica right next to them. She knew that Lucas wouldn't let anything happen to the brunette, but at the same time, Maya was also determined to protect her best friend from making a big mistake. She was beginning to feel like she needed a map or something to figure all of this out. "Really?"

Farkle sighed. His hopes had aligned with everyone else's. He figured that Riley and Lucas would have figured out what their relationship was on this trip—whether they decided to date or to just be friends.

By the looks of things, they still seemed to be avoiding it by not talking about anything and by trying to make one another jealous. With the daggers that Riley was throwing at Jessica and Lucas was throwing at the guy Riley was dancing with, Farkle had to admit that if that was their goal, they were definitely achieving it. "They're never going to figure it out, are they?"

"No," she sighed. The only thing she wanted was for her best friend to be happy again. Maya missed her optimistic friend. Riley's spirit had been tested throughout this whole ordeal. Now that it was over, she just wanted to see her smile again. "And Riley's drunk." She looked up at him. "We probably need to go before this gets out of control." It only took her a few moments to come up with a scheme. "Ok. I have a plan. If we just pull her away, she's going to get upset. If we dance her toward the door, maybe we can get her outside?"

He nodded. "What do you need me to do?"

Just as Maya was telling him what she wanted him to do, she noticed that Lucas had stopped dancing with Jessica and had closed the distance between Riley and Justin. "Crap," Maya groaned. This wasn't going to end well.

Lucas had enough. He tried being patient. He tried to let Riley do whatever she wanted to do. He didn't want to cause another scene with her, but he couldn't stand seeing her pressed up against someone else. "Riley, we need to go back to Pappy Joe's now."

Riley ignored him as she turned her head away from him. She closed her eyes as she swayed with—whatever his name was.

"Riley," Lucas warned.

Riley continued to ignore him. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? He didn't want to be with her and now he was trying to make sure she couldn't have fun with anyone else?

He took a deep breath. She was being completely ridiculous right now. Fine. If she wasn't going to listen to reason, then he was left with no other option. "Ok. You refused to listen, so…" he gently nudged the couple apart. Before Riley could protest, he bent down and picked her up over his shoulder.

Riley was completely taken aback as she found herself on top of Lucas's shoulder. Once she realized what he had done, she began to flail her limbs around in an attempt to get him to put her down. "Lucas! What the hell are you doing?!"

He said nothing as he stormed out of Chubbie's with Maya, Farkle, and Zay trailing closely behind him.

Maya's eyes widened as she heard her best friend shout expletives in the parking lot at the guy who continued carried her to the truck without saying a word in response. Once they were there, he sat her down on the bed of the truck.

"You have no right," she continued to yell at him. How dare he treat her like a child? Or worse…like his property! And why didn't anyone try to stop him?

"I have every right," he replied calmly. He looked back at the stunned group. "Who's riding up front and who is staying back here with her?"

Riley wasn't about to let the conversation end like that. No one had a right to tell her what she was going to do and when she was going to do it—especially the guy who had rejected her not an hour earlier. She could still taste him on her lips. It was the most bittersweet taste she had ever known. She had completely opened her heart to him and he rejected her because she needed a little liquid courage to be able to open up to him. "No, you don't! No one is EVER going to tell me what to do or how to act."

"Riley, don't say something you're going to regret," Maya warned. She had never seen her best friend this angry over anything before. She knew that Riley would feel completely awful if she had said something to him out of spite. The girl Maya was looking at was not her best friend. This girl was the scared, angry, sad girl that Charlie Gardener had left behind. This was the shell of the girl that she used to be.

"You see this, right Maya? This is how it starts. So, take note." She scrambled to stand up on the back of the truck. "First it's the whole 'do this, not that'. Pretty soon, I'll get out of line again, so he'll have to set me straight with even more force because apparently I couldn't learn not to act out the first time. So it's just a smack here, a grab there. Before you know it, we're up in the mountains and I'm forced to fight for my life to just get away from him!"

"Riley!" Maya's mouth fell open at her words, speechless at her outburst.

Farkle and Zay stood there completely shocked at her eruption.

Lucas looked at the ground as his brain finally shut down. He didn't know what to say to her anymore. He didn't know if there was anything else to say. He simply turned around and walked to the driver's side door. He said nothing as he climbed in and put the key into the ignition.


	35. Chapter 35

_**A/N: You guys are so sweet. I'm not worthy of all of those kind words. Also, I'm not entirely satisfied with this next chapter, but I always edit until I get sick of looking at it, so...this is what I ended up with.**_

 _ **And Nat, I seriously thought you bailed on my fics. You have no idea how happy I was when I saw your review.**_

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Five

The whole ride back to Pappy Joe's house was silent. As soon as the words left her mouth, Riley regretted them. She knew Lucas wasn't Charlie. She knew that they were nothing alike, but everything that had happened between them throughout the course of the night had triggered her. She had finally put herself on the line, intoxicated or not. He had rejected her. She wanted to forget about him and the whole thing, but he pulled her back in. She wanted to hurt him just as much as he had hurt her. When she saw the look on his face after she lashed out, she knew she had gone too far. She never wanted to hurt him.

She felt nauseous—and it wasn't because of the alcohol that still coursed through her system.

When they finally got back, Lucas remained silent as he got out of the truck and stormed into the house.

Maya watched as he flung open the screen door and trudged inside. He didn't seem mad. He seemed hurt. She spun around to face her best friend. "Riley, what happened?" Maya offered her hand to the brunette as she helped her out of the back of the truck.

Riley shook her head as she ran a hand through her hair. It was the million-dollar question. What _had_ happened? How did it all come apart so quickly for them? As they walked toward the house, she sighed. "I'll tell you when we get inside."

* * *

As soon as Maya closed the door to their room, it was like a dam had burst. Tears trickled down Riley's cheeks as she sat on the bed. Maya was quick to pull her into a hug as she let Riley cry for several moments. She told her repeatedly that everything was going to be ok. That everything would work itself out. Though Maya desperately wanted to know what had happened earlier in the evening, she wasn't going to push Riley. It was obvious that she had been pushed enough.

Riley began to wipe her eyes as she felt the wave of tears subside. "I wanted to have fun. I wanted to stop thinking about Jessica and Lucas…" she sniffed, "so I had some drinks. Then…Lucas got mad…we went outside…" she looked down, "…and the next thing I know, we're kissing each other." She looked back at a surprised Maya. "And it wasn't like a kiss in the play. This was…so much more." She stood up and walked over to the dresser. She began to take off her boots to preoccupy herself with some mundane task so she could finish the rest of the story without having to look at the blonde. "We…we ended up in the truck. I wanted to…I wanted to give myself to him."

Maya raised her eyebrows in surprise. She wasn't sure what she was expecting to hear, but this certainly wasn't it. They made out? In the truck? Maya immediately wracked her brain as she tried to put a time frame on everything. She knew that she and Farkle had been dancing for a while before she noticed Riley dancing with some random guy. It had to have been before then since Lucas pulled the brunette out of Chubbie's moments later. The pieces began to click into place for the blonde as she mentally pieced together the timeline of the evening. "Um. Wow."

"Yeah." She grabbed her pajamas out of her suitcase. "I…I told him that I loved him, Maya."

"You did?!" Her smile was brief as confusion immediately set in. If Riley had told Lucas that she loved him, then how come she ended up on the dance floor with someone else? Why did Lucas dance with Jessica? None of this was making sense.

"Apparently that was the wrong thing to say though because he freaked out. He said that he didn't want to do that there. That I was drunk and that I deserved better. All I wanted was him, Maya. That was it. Just him." She swallowed as she sat back down beside Maya, pajamas in hand. "So. He went back inside. And I just…wanted to have fun. So, I went to the bar. I drank a little more. I met a guy. And…I danced with him. Then Lucas grabbed me and carried me out."

Maya nodded as she finally felt like she understood exactly what had happened between Lucas and Riley. It all made perfect sense to her, but leave it to them to completely screw up something as momentous as a confession of love. She just wanted to lock both of them in a closet until they had a real conversation about everything. It was obvious to everyone, but them, what they really meant to one another.

"I don't understand any of this Maya. Maybe it's the alcohol, but what's going on?"

She placed a hand on her knee. She loved Riley more than anyone else in the world, but sometimes she couldn't see what was right in front of her. "He loves you, Riley."

Riley blinked several times. She had anticipated that her best friend would have a lot to say about her evening, but she never thought that would be it. "W-What? How do you know that?" Surely Maya wouldn't joke about something like this, right?

"What guy would ever refuse you? In that moment. You said it was intense. It was passionate, right? It would have to be if you ended up in the truck. It sounds like he got carried away like you did. Right?" When her friend nodded, Maya continued. "When you told him that you loved him, I'm willing to bet that he realized that you deserved more than to lose your virginity in a truck outside a restaurant while intoxicated."

"But I don't care about all of that. I even told him that."

"You do care. You say that you don't right now, but I know that he knows you just as well as I do. You would have regretted it. Riley, he doesn't want to be something that you regret. Why do you think he's waited all this time for you? He wants you to be ready to be with him. He wants you to be sure."

It all sounded too good to be true for the brunette. There were too many things that still didn't make sense. If he cared about her, why weren't they already together? And then there was another issue entirely. "What about Jessica?"

"He could be with her if he wanted to," she acknowledged. "He doesn't want to. His eyes have been on you all night. Riley. You said it yourself. If that kiss was half as intense as you made it out to be, then there's your answer. He doesn't care about Jessica. He cares about you."

Riley raised her eyebrows as she thought about their conversation. "Oh," she finally breathed.

Maya tapped her leg before she stood up to grab a change of clothes. "And tomorrow, I'm afraid you have a lot of apologizing to do."

Riley fell back on the bed as the memory of what she said flashed through her mind. He seemed so upset afterward. She had completely lashed out at him, and he didn't deserve a single word of it. She covered her face with her hands as she groaned. "Oh God. I compared him to Charlie."

Maya nodded even though she knew Riley couldn't see her. "Three times."

Riley sat back up, her worried eyes searched for the blonde's. "Three?"

Maya nodded once more.

"Oh my God." She leaned forward as another wave of nausea overcame her.

* * *

Farkle knew that he had spent the better part of the last twenty minutes watching his best friend pace like a caged animal in the living room. He couldn't stand it anymore! "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Lucas grumbled as he continued to pace. What the hell happened tonight? It was like Riley had flipped a switch. The way she dressed, the way she acted. She was just like—Jessica. Lucas stopped pacing and looked up at Farkle, his own realization beginning to dawn on him. "Farkle, I've changed, right? I'm not who I was when I first got to New York, right?"

"Definitely not," he smiled as he remembered those first several weeks. "You didn't want to talk to anyone when we first met you. You hated the whole world. But now you're happy…somewhat."

"Somewhat?"

"The Riley thing aside," he elaborated. "Before she got hurt. You were happy."

He stood there for a moment as he thought about his friend's words. He had to admit to himself that it was true. He smiled. He laughed. He didn't think about his father or his previous life. He felt…free with her. "She changed me."

Farkle nodded. "People change people."

Slightly confused, Lucas tilted his head to the side. "What?"

Farkle let out a soft chuckle. "Sorry. Sometimes I forget that you weren't there when Riley's dad taught us all these life lessons."

Lucas had heard about several of the 'lessons' that Mr. Matthews had taught the group over the years. It was hard to imagine his history teacher teaching anything but history. Maybe he simply ran out of life lessons, so he just stuck with the curriculum now? "Which one was that one?"

Farkle smiled. "One of the most important ones. It's the secret of life. People change people."

"She changed me."

Farkle nodded.

Lucas bit the inside of his cheek as he thought more about the simple idea that people changed people. If she had changed him so dramatically, couldn't the opposite be true as well? He looked up at his friend. "So…would it stand to reason that I changed her?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. Seems logical." Mr. Matthews never said it only happened once or only to one specific person. He felt like everyone had some effect on everyone else. It was just how the world worked.

Lucas rubbed his forehead. "What if…what if I'm not a good influence on her?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You saw her tonight, Farkle." He gestured to the closed door where the girls were. "She was completely out of control. I've never seen her like that." He turned around as he began to pace again. "She changed me for the better. What if…what if I changed her for the worse?"

"It was one night, Lucas. That's not who she is, and she knows it. Doesn't mean she's not allowed one night to vent her frustrations." He could sense the dark thoughts that seemed to plague Lucas now. He was scared that he had somehow turned her into someone she wasn't. The two situations were completely different. How could he not see that?

It only took Farkle a moment to understand why. It was because he was in love with her. He was scared of being a bad influence on her because Riley was so optimistic—even after—Farkle cut his eyes back to Lucas. "Think about it. She's been eerily ok with everything that happened. Of course she displayed some fears: like being alone and locking the window now, but other than that? She hasn't cried to my knowledge, hasn't screamed, hasn't vented her frustrations. Even after the trial, she seemed ok. She had to see him again. She had to tell her parents in detail what happened that night. And she didn't cry. Lucas, she needed a break from trying to be so strong." He knew Riley. Almost as much as he knew Maya. So many people thought that she was the weakest out of all of them, but they were wrong. She was the glue that held everyone together. She was always their rock. But she refused to allow any of them to console her. She still acted like she had to be the strong one. It made sense to him that cracks would eventually form in that foundation.

Lucas still couldn't see it that way. He thought that somehow, everything she did tonight came back to him. He had done something to her to push her into it. He had changed her into someone she wasn't. "By getting drunk, riding a mechanical bull, dancing with a perfect stranger?"

"Maybe. People show grief in different ways. She never grieved over what happened. What she said was completely uncalled for. You know she doesn't actually see you that way, right?"

Zay walked into the living room from the kitchen, sandwich in hand. As he took a bite, he tilted his head at Lucas. "Dude, what's on your neck?"

He sighed. Thoughts of Riley were already swimming through his head. He didn't need something else to be wrong right now. He was about to go insane as it was. "What are you talking about?"

Zay squinted at the spot before a smile spread across his face. "You have a hickey!"

Lucas groaned. "Great." A visual reminder of the night and everything that went wrong between Riley and him.

"From Jessica," Farkle questioned slowly. He was confused. Jessica was pretty, but he had been convinced that Lucas had developed pretty strong feelings for Riley. Farkle could have sworn not two minutes earlier that Lucas was in love with Riley. Why would he screw that up? Was it because of Riley dancing with that guy?

"Not…from Jessica," Lucas slowly admitted. He wasn't quite sure how the guys would take it. He knew how protective both of them were of Riley. Riley's actual brother was only ten, so he didn't feel too threatened by him, but he knew that Farkle and Zay had both considered Riley to be like a sister to them.

Farkle and Zay looked at one another before they looked back at Lucas. "Riley," Zay asked. When Lucas didn't answer, Zay grinned. "What happened?"

He sighed as he looked up at the ceiling. "Something that shouldn't have happened."

"That's why she lashed out." Farkle knew he was close to trying to figure out her behavior, but one thing didn't make sense. Finding out that she and Lucas had—done something—made it all clear.

Zay wasn't catching on nearly as quickly. "Why would she get mad at him if she sucked his neck?"

"He turned her down," Farkle noted. _Insecure._ Riley's flaw. He knew it still plagued her. She must have thought that his rejection of the situation was a rejection of her.

"How do you know that," Lucas asked as he turned to Farkle. Did he see them? Did Riley tell him what happened?

"Because I know you. You wouldn't let her go too far while she's like this. I mean, you literally carried her out of Chubbie's."

"Oh, I'm not that good. We _almost_ got carried away." He didn't want to talk about this with them, but he knew he had to talk to someone. His mind was in a million different places and he had to try to sort everything out. He wasn't going to get graphic, but he desperately needed some clarity. "We were in the truck and—"

"The truck?" Zay looked to Farkle before back at Lucas. "Sorry. Continue." He took another bite of his sandwich. Zay marveled at everything he had missed because he was talking to Vanessa. For once, he didn't mind missing all the drama. Vanessa was amazing. They had plans to go out the following evening. He knew it was ridiculous to try to start anything with her considering they lived two thousand miles away from each other, but he didn't care. He had carried a torch for her for years. He had to see where it was leading.

"And we were about to…but she pulled my face to hers and…she told me she loved me." Right now, the memory haunted him. At the same time, he hoped with everything in him that one day, the right day, it would sting less. He hoped that one day they would be able to laugh about this night and how ridiculous they both acted. God, he hoped that day would come sooner rather than later.

"And that stopped you," Zay asked. "Wasn't that what you've been wanting?"

He nodded. "That's why I stopped. I didn't want the first time I heard that to be while she was drunk. I want her to be stone cold sober. I want to know that she meant it. I want her to be completely aware of what she was actually saying. I can't…" he let out a long breath, "I can't hear that and wonder if she really meant it. Not when that's…that's what I've been wanting." He pulled himself out of his daze as he looked at his best friends. "And I realized that her first time shouldn't be in a truck outside of a restaurant while she's drunk. Riley deserves better than that."

Farkle nodded. "At least I don't have to kill you now." He knew he couldn't take on the obviously more athletic guy in front of him, but that didn't mean he wouldn't have tried. Riley was like a sister to him. He'd do his best to protect her from anyone. He still hated that he couldn't have saved her from Charlie. Farkle was relieved when she told them that she didn't want them in the courtroom at the trial. He knew that he would have lost it had he seen him. Farkle always tried to remain logical, but when it came to the girls, all bets were off.

"Me too," Zay agreed as he took another bite of his sandwich. "Cause we would have."

Lucas was already well aware of their allegiances. He didn't blame them for it one bit because he felt the same way they did, except for entirely different reasons. "I would never do anything to hurt her."

"We know that," Farkle told him. "We know how much you care about her. This just proves it."

"But people change people? What if I'm a bad influence on her?"

"I don't think you are. This only started when she…"Farkle looked at the girls' door. "When she met Jessica."

"But she has nothing to worry about."

Farkle looked back at Lucas. "Did you tell Riley that?"


	36. Chapter 36

_**A/N: Quick update, but short chapter. Sorry, but I had to break it where I did.**_

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Six

The harsh light of morning hit Riley like a ton of bricks. Unfortunately, she remembered every embarrassing detail of the previous night as soon as she opened her eyes. She wasn't quite sure how she would be able to face any of them. She was so…not like herself. She tried to be someone she wasn't. She tried to turn her brain off for one night.

Big mistake.

She was grateful that Pappy Joe hadn't seen her in that state. She adored Lucas's grandfather and the thought of him thinking any less of her would kill her.

After she got ready for the day, her first stop on her apology tour was to Maya. She knew that her best friend had tried to rein her in before she said something stupid, but she ignored her. She wanted Maya to know that she just needed a break from thinking all the time, but decided against trying to explain all of that to her. Maya would be the first to tell her that alcohol wasn't the way to do it. Riley knew it was stupid, especially after her antics.

Her best friend didn't say much; she just gave her an encouraging smile as Riley admitted her guilt and regret for her actions. After Riley finished what could have easily been a five-minute monologue on the perils of drinking while in an emotional state, Maya pulled her into a hug and told her that everyone was allowed to fall once in awhile. She followed it by telling her that everyone was entitled to make stupid mistakes one in awhile. She was grateful that Riley wanted to be Riley again. She missed her best friend last night.

Riley's next stop was to Farkle and Zay. She barely uttered their names before they stopped her. To them, she didn't have anything to apologize for. They understood what she had to deal with over the last few months. After nearly five months of hell, they figured that she was due more than just one imperfect night. She hugged both of them. She wasn't sure what she would do without either one of them.

When she pulled back, she ran a hand through her hair. "Where is he?"

Farkle leaned against the kitchen counter. "He's at the barn checking on the horses."

She nodded. "I need to go talk to him. Apologize for everything I said."

"That's not all you need to apologize for," Zay casually commented as he took a few steps closer to the brunette.

She frowned as she thought back to the previous night. Did something else happen? Oh God. What did she do? "Oh? What?" She turned to Maya who also seemed perplexed by Zay's comment.

"You left a little…souvenir…on his neck," he chuckled.

"What are you talking about?"

"You gave him a hickey," Farkle informed her.

Maya raised her eyebrows. "Are you serious?"

Farkle and Zay nodded.

"Oh no," Riley groaned. A hickey? She didn't even know how to do that. Well, apparently she did, but she didn't mean to!

"Woah. I guess last night _was_ intense." Maya couldn't help but grin. She wasn't a fan of Drunk Riley, but she had to give her credit: after months of angst, she finally gave into her feelings for Lucas. On the other hand, now things were worse between them than they ever were, but still…a hickey?

"He must really hate me," Riley sighed.

Farkle shook his head. "He's just confused. Just…tell him the truth, Riley. It'll be ok."

* * *

As she made her way to the barn, it felt like her heart had jumped into her throat. She had hurt Lucas a million times more than the others. She couldn't remember everything she told him, but she remembered enough to know that she could spend the next ten years apologizing to him, and it wouldn't be enough—not to mention the hickey she had left on his neck. "You just can't control yourself can you," she muttered to herself.

She could hear his voice as she reached the barn. It took her only a moment to realize that he was on the phone. She thought about turning back, but knew that the longer she waited to see him, the more anxious she would be about the whole thing. She took a deep breath as she entered.

His back was turned to her when she walked in. He seemed completely attentive to whomever he was talking to. Not wanting to invade on his privacy even more than she already had, she cleared her throat to announce her presence.

Lucas turned at the sound. He made eye contact with her for the briefest of seconds before he turned back around. "Yeah. He said you wanted to…yeah. Yeah. You need to know the only reason I'm even considering this is…good. I'll let you know. Bye." He let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding as he ended the call.

"Lucas," she called out timidly.

Lucas rubbed his temples for a moment as he tried to collect his thoughts. His brain was already on overdrive and it was barely 9 in the morning. He turned to face her as he gripped the phone in his hand. He couldn't do this now. He had enough on his mind right now without even attempting to have this conversation with her. He knew that whatever she came to say would eventually turn into another knockdown drag out argument and his heart just couldn't handle it anymore. He needed her to be his friend right now. He didn't need all of the romantic entanglements that they seemed to always find themselves in.

"I can't do this right now," he told her bluntly. When he saw her flinch slightly at his cool tone, he looked down at his phone. "I'm sorry, but I just can't."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

He hesitated. He was tired of this too. He was tired of always being the one to open up. He still wasn't quite used to that whole concept: confiding in someone. It still scared him. Yes, opening up about his familial history was one of the biggest steps he had ever taken with anyone on an emotional level, but after everything that happened, he found himself pulling back from her. "Nothing. I just…" he looked down at his phone, "There's a change of plans for today."

She followed his line of vision to the phone still grasped in his hand. She had no idea who he was on the phone with, but it obviously made him more than a little uncomfortable. "Oh?"

He flipped the phone around in the palm of his hand a few times, his mind still reeling from the phone call he just made. He wanted to talk to her about it. He wanted her opinion on it all, but he couldn't for some reason. He just needed to get out of there. "Yeah. I…I have something I need to take care of this afternoon."

She raised an eyebrow. She knew that she had no right to ask about the call—he seemed incredibly troubled by it-but it didn't stop her. "What is it? Something bad?"

He sighed as he looked at his phone one last time. "I…uh…I need to go back to the house. Tell the others."

"I'll go with you." She had no idea what was going on or what had happened. She knew that she had no right to ask him about it after everything she had put him through. She didn't blame him for not trusting her. God, she hated this wall that was between them, but she knew that she was the one who put it there.

* * *

"I can't go with you guys to the caverns today," Lucas told the group once he was able to get everyone together. He still wasn't completely sure why he was doing this, but he knew that sooner or later, he needed to. In order to gain some sort of closure, in order to gain some sort of peace about everything in his twisted world, he had to do this. And he had to do it alone.

"Why," Farkle asked.

"Something came up that I need to take care of." He cut his eyes to Zay for a moment before he looked back at the rest of the group. "Um…it shouldn't take too long. I figured we could meet back up here before we go to the arcade tonight."

Maya noticed his pointed look to Zay. It was obvious to her that Zay knew what was going on, but it also seemed like something that Lucas didn't seem to care to share with the rest of them. "Are you ok?" She didn't need to know the details. It wasn't her place. She just needed to know that he was ok and that he wasn't about to do anything stupid or dangerous—again.

He looked down at his phone as he checked the time for what had to be the hundredth time in the last five minutes. "Uh…yeah," he nodded as he continued to look at his phone. "Yeah. Just hate I'm going to miss the caverns."

Riley couldn't stand it. She knew something was wrong. She knew something had happened, and he wasn't saying anything to them about it. "Lucas?"

He lifted a hand up to stop whatever she was about to say. He didn't want to tell them. He didn't want them to know and try to persuade him to either go through with this or to just go to the caverns and forget all about it. He needed to do this one on his own. "Please, Riley. Not now." He reached across the counter to grab the keys to Pappy Joe's truck. "I'll see you guys later," he mumbled as he walked out of the house.

As soon as the door closed, Maya turned to Zay. "You know where he's going, don't you?" She wasn't even sure why she had to ask. She already knew the answer.

Zay nodded as he looked away from his friends.

"And you know you can't keep a secret, right?" Maya smiled at him as she slowly inched closer to him.

He lifted his head to look at her as he nodded once more.

A small smile formed on Riley's lips. "And Lucas knew that when he told you?"

He nodded.

Farkle looked between Riley and his girlfriend before he looked at Zay. "So, where is he going?"

* * *

Lucas wanted to be anywhere other than where he was. He wasn't even sure why he agreed to this in the first place. He needed answers. He needed closure. He needed to somehow convince himself that the most complicated chapter in his life was over for once and for all. There was no way he could move forward with his life in New York while this still plagued him. As he waited at the diner, he began to fidget with the paper from his straw. As he twisted and slowly tore the straw paper, he realized that he had no idea what he was going to say. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he needed to confess, but he knew himself. He knew that as soon as the seat across from him became occupied, he wouldn't be able to utter a word.

He stared at the full glass of tea in front of him. He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there. He must have changed his mind about the whole thing about ten times as he sat and waited at the small diner. He knew that this wasn't a good idea. He wasn't ready. He wasn't sure if he would ever be ready. He glanced at the clock above the door. He was only going to wait another minute. Then he was going to leave.

Just as Lucas looked back at his tea, the door opened. Lucas didn't bother to look up to see who it was—his already knew. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as he heard the approaching footsteps. He felt the table vibrate slightly as the person slid into the booth on the other side of him. Lucas took a deep breath before he lifted his emerald eyes to meet a pair that mirrored his own. Here he was—sitting across from the one man that he swore he would never lay eyes on again: his father.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-Seven

It felt like a staring contest between the two men. One was at a complete loss for words, the other too afraid to say anything out of fear—not fear of the man who sat across from him, but out of fear of his own deep seeded anger. That was the only reason why he even came: to confront him. Pappy Joe had asked him to come, but it was his own desire to face his demons that drove him to this moment with his father. As he looked into his eyes, his mind went back to every bruise, every cut, every band-aid his mother had put on him. He hated him, and it wasn't until a few months ago that he realized that hatred gave his father more power than anything else. He didn't want to hate him. He wanted peace. He wanted closure.

He just didn't know _how_ or even _if_ he would ever get it.

"Hey," his father said, finally breaking the minutes long silence. He had no idea how to start this conversation. How do you even begin to apologize for years and years of torment?

Lucas nodded as he looked back down at his tea. He couldn't speak. He felt completely paralyzed by the man in front of him. He thought he was well past being afraid. He thought that his anger far outweighed any terror he still felt about the man who sat in front of him. Maybe he was wrong? Maybe it was all some blended mixture that he couldn't quite separate? He was angry—furious, but he was also still completely terrified of him.

His father knew it wouldn't be easy. He wasn't expecting easy. He didn't even expect Lucas to show up. When he asked his father to ask his son to meet him, he never dreamed that he actually would agree to it. "I-I'm glad you agreed to see me."

Lucas nodded again.

Their waitress arrived at the table. As she took Mr. Friar's drink order, she asked if he was eating. He told her that he would in a little bit. He waited until after she brought his drink and left before he tried to talk to his son once more. He rested his elbows on the table as he folded his hands together in front of him.

"Lucas, I…I have no idea where to begin."

"Try," he replied darkly as he stared at his drink. He twisted the remnants of the worn straw wrapper between his fingers before he tore off another small piece from it.

His father took a deep breath. He knew that it was a huge step for his son to even agree to see him. He wanted his son to know everything he had gone through ever since he moved to New York. He wanted to tell him how he wasn't the same person anymore, how the man he knew wasn't the real him. He wanted to beg him to give their relationship another chance. "I can't imagine how much I hurt you…and your mother. I know that there is nothing I could ever do to make that up to you. And I know that there is a very real chance that this could be the last time I ever see you."

Lucas's eyes ticked up to meet his father's eyes. He looked just like his father except for the fact that his father had brown hair while Lucas got his lighter hair color from his mother.

His father swallowed under the intense gaze of his son. "After you moved, after the divorce, I realized what I had been doing. So…at your grandfather's insistence of all people…I got some help."

Lucas looked back down. His grandfather didn't tell him that when he asked Lucas to see his father. He wasn't even sure when Pappy Joe found out about everything. Out of pure fear, Lucas had only ever told Zay and Jessica about what had been going on with his family. He figured that his father would completely lash out at his mother or himself if his grandfather had tried to step in.

"I quit my job. I found something less…stressful. I'm not perfect. I won't ever be perfect, but I am getting better. My…therapist…suggested I meet with you while you're here."

Lucas scoffed. It was all clear now. This was just another step for him to feel better about everything he did. He didn't want to apologize. He just wanted a clear conscience. "I should've known. You're only doing this because your therapist told you to?"

This wasn't going at all how his father had planned for it to. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but he knew that his son could get up and walk out at any second, and he would never see him again. "No. I-I-I wanted to. I just didn't know how to…I mean…how do you even begin to apologize for what I did?"

Lucas shrugged. "I don't know."

"I'm sorry."

Lucas looked up at him.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "For every single moment. For forgetting that my first job was to protect you and your mother…not to be the reason that you were afraid. None of it was your fault. None of it was her fault. It was all me. I can't tell you why I did it. I still don't know. All I know is that I don't…I don't want to lose my son."

Lucas looked down as the memories of his childhood flashed through him. He had been angry for so long. He was still angry. He wanted nothing more than to show his dad exactly what he did to his mom and him for years. If this conversation had happened seven months ago, he probably would have punched his own father.

But that wasn't him.

He wasn't that person.

He didn't want to be that person. "You know…it's taken me seven months…and some amazing friends…to get me to let go of it…to let go of every smack, every punch, every slam. I'm still angry. It's a battle I face every morning when I wake up. I…I have trouble sleeping most nights. I have nightmares about my childhood…something that no one should ever have to experience. Yesterday, I rode Tombstone. Yesterday, I beat your old record. I thought that…I thought that would mean that I was better than you somehow. It's stupid really. I risked my life yesterday to prove something that I already know. I thought that my biggest fear was Tombstone. It's not." He lifted his head up to look at his father once more. "My biggest fear…is becoming you."

His father sighed. He knew that he deserved every word, every resentful thought his son had about him. Honestly, he was surprised that Lucas was still sitting in front of him. He figured he wouldn't even show up, let alone actually speak to him about any of this. He hated the idea that somehow Lucas thought he was anything like him. His son was always so kind and generous. Yes, he knew about everything he did in school, but it wasn't until a few months ago that he realized why. He realized why his son had changed so quickly: to protect his mother. To shift the blame, the anger, onto himself. "You're not me, Lucas. You'll never be me. You're too good."

Lucas looked back down at his drink. "For awhile there, I thought I was turning into you. I had so much anger, so much rage inside of me that I tried to push everyone away from me."

"What happened?"

Lucas's lips formed a thin line. He didn't want to mention Riley. He didn't want his father to even be aware of her existence, but he knew he had to tell him about her. He had to prove that he wasn't who he thought he was, and she was at the center of it all. "Someone finally pushed back. Someone showed me that I didn't have to be you. I could just be me. I could do something positive with my life. I could be whoever I wanted to be."

"I'm glad you found someone who could show you that."

Lucas pursed his lips together as he slowly nodded his head. "The problem is…I think that deep down, she thinks that I am just like you."

"If she knows anything about you, she knows that you aren't. You're just like your mother, thank God. Smart. Kind. Wise."

"What do you want from me?" He needed to keep everything on track. This conversation was about them. He needed closure. He needed peace.

His dad swallowed. "A second chance. I know I don't deserve it now. I-I know that. But if you're going to be here this summer, I was hoping that maybe we could see each other. Maybe go fishing or something like we did when you were little."

Lucas sat there for a long moment. A few days earlier, Pappy Joe had asked him about working on the farm that summer. Truthfully, he hadn't given much thought to it with everything else going on. "I haven't decided what I'm going to do this summer."

"Just. Think about it. Lucas, I know I can't erase the past, but I want to try to prove to you that I have changed." He looked down. "I miss my son."

"And I miss my dad," he admitted. "But he's been gone a lot longer than your son has." He stood up. "I just need some time to think about all of this."

"You have my number. I'll answer it any time. Please consider it."

Lucas nodded once more before he walked out of the diner. As he walked to the truck, his mind began to race as he tried to process what had just happened. As he slid in the front seat, the events of the past 24 hours collided into him. He had no idea what to do about anything in his life anymore: his father, Riley, or even where he'll spend the summer. All he wanted was a peaceful vacation, but within the span of a day, he began to feel himself slip back into the one person he didn't want to be. He punched the steering wheel as tears pooled in his eyes.

* * *

When he got back to Pappy Joe's, Lucas realized that the others wouldn't be back for at least another hour. He decided to go for a walk to try to clear his scrambled brain. He ended up on a hill on about a quarter mile away from the house. It was nestled in between some trees, but had a great view of the pond. Lucas always considered it to be his safe space. If he was ever upset or needed to get away from everything, he always ended up there. To his knowledge, no one ever knew that this was where he always ran to when things got to be too hard to handle. He walked over to the middle of the hill and sat down. He watched the water move on the pond as he tried to clear his mind.

His father. He knew that there was a possibility of seeing him when he went to Texas, but he didn't actually think that he would, let alone agree to meet with him. When he saw him, Lucas realized that the anger he thought he had let go months ago was still very much inside of him. He wanted to yell at him. He wanted to lash out. He wanted to kill him.

As his father continued to speak to him, Lucas went from complete rage to some other undefined emotion. Pity? Sadness? Hope? Some twisted mixture of all three with a healthy dose of that ever-present anger? Was he actually considering this? Was he thinking about seeing his father again? Was he interested in trying to redefine their relationship? He needed to talk about this with someone. He needed—

Riley.

He sighed as he laid back on the grass. The crystal blue sky offered no answer to the next question on his mind. What went so wrong between them? He thought that this trip would unite them in some way. Five days with the same people. He figured they would have a chance to talk. He figured that he would end up spending a lot of time with her. He thought that maybe…maybe they could somehow find some common ground and get past the awkwardness that had taken up residence between them for the last four months.

He would kill for that awkwardness right about now.

Last night was a complete disaster. He couldn't blame it on the alcohol. She had made snide comments comparing him to Charlie long before she took her first sip of tequila. Was she trying to hurt him? Why? Why would she compare him to Charlie? Yes. He did try to get her to change her clothes. Yes. He told her to tread lightly with the alcohol. Yes. He was so incredibly jealous that he carried her out of Chubbie's over his shoulder like some barbarian.

God. Maybe this is how it all begins? Jealousies. Insecurities. The need to be in control. He closed his eyes. He knew that she wanted to talk about it. He just wasn't sure what he wanted to hear from her. The damage had been done. The seed of doubt had been planted.

She thought, somewhere in her mind, that he was like Charlie Gardener.

Lucas closed his eyes as his worst fears began to overcome him. Was he turning into that? Was he turning into his father?


	38. Chapter 38

_**A/N: I know that the chapters have been a little shorter recently and wanted to try to make it up to you guys the only way I knew how to. Two chapters in two days? No way I can keep that up.**_

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Eight

He had completely lost track of time as his thoughts continued to spiral into a blend of Riley, Charlie, his father, and the 'secret of life'. People change people. God. It seemed so simple, but as Lucas watched the clouds move above him, he realized that it was completely true. His father had changed him. Riley had changed him. Even Charlie changed him. Everyone he had ever come in contact with had helped mold him into who he was now: some mixture of light and dark.

His head quickly turned as approaching footsteps interrupted his thoughts. He knew before he even looked that it wasn't Riley. As weird as it seemed, ever since the day they met, he could always feel her when she was around. He wasn't sure why, he wasn't sure how it was even possible, but he never questioned it. It was just a feeling he always had whenever she was around. He had expected it to either be Zay or Farkle.

It wasn't.

"Maya?" He sat up as he turned to face the blonde. She was the last person he expected to see out here. "What are you doing here?"

She looked around them. This area seemed so peaceful, the whole farm did. It was unlike anything Maya had ever seen. They had all been so busy since they arrived in Texas that she hadn't really taken the time to take in her surroundings. Fresh air. Amazing scenery. Maybe there was something Texas had that New York didn't. "We noticed that the truck was back. Pappy Joe told us where we could find you."

Had time really passed that quickly? Lucas could have sworn that he just laid down. "What time is it?"

"About 5," she answered absentmindedly as she continued to examine the area they were in. "What is this place?"

"Just a place I ran to when I was little. I thought no one knew about it. I…guess Pappy Joe did." He rubbed the back of his neck. "He tends to know everything. I should've guessed that he knew about this."

Maya let out a brief chuckle. An omniscient adult? She knew one of those all too well. "Yeah. We have one of those too. Gets pretty annoying, doesn't it?"

"Mr. Matthews?" Truthfully, Lucas didn't know as much about his history teacher as he felt he should. The others all grew up with him teaching them. These days Mr. Matthews tended to keep the subject strictly about history. Of course, Lucas knew that as Riley's father, Mr. Matthews was keeping a close eye on him, but he also knew that wasn't a bad thing. Surely her father read his permanent record. Lucas was certain that he knew all about his past, but somehow still allowed his daughter to hang out with him, to even fly across the country with her friends for Spring Break. Maybe his history teacher accepted Lucas without Lucas knowing it? Maybe Mr. Matthews wouldn't be too upset if he and Riley were ever to-

"Makes it hard to get away with anything. It's like he's always two steps ahead of us." She knew she was making small talk. She hated having to make small talk. She always just got to the point with whatever she was feeling, but this seemed weird.

"Yeah." He let out a breath as he placed his hands on his hips. "Why did you come? That sounded bad. Sorry. I just figured that if anyone would come out here, it would be Zay or—"

"Riley?" Maya raised an eyebrow. When he nodded, she gave him a small smile. "She wanted to. She nearly jumped at the chance, but I told her that I needed to talk to you first."

He frowned. "What's up?"

She chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to think of where to begin. She knew she wanted to talk to him about everything that had happened, but she also knew that he had a lot on his mind. She knew the timing was wrong, but she also knew that he needed to know that she was there to listen too. She took a deep breath. There was only one way to say this, and she knew she had to start from the beginning. "Yesterday. At the rodeo. I feel like…I feel like we need to talk about what happened."

Because of the chaos of the events of the last 24 hours, Maya's outburst had slipped Lucas's mind. It wasn't that he didn't care about whatever had triggered her. It was just, between trying to protect Riley and hearing from his dad, that if anything could have waited a few more hours to be addressed, it had to be talking to her about it. "Yeah. I wanted to ask, but you seemed better afterward, so I figured Riley and you had just worked it out."

She nodded. "Something like that. Can we?" She gestured to the patch of ground next to him.

"Sure."

She waited until they were both seated before she turned to look at him. "I was worried."

He chuckled. "I could've guessed that."

Maya stopped herself from rolling her eyes at him. Of course he would have immediately guessed that. Meanwhile it took her a solid twenty minutes to figure it out. "Yeah…well…I've never acted like that before. I've never been put in a situation like that before."

"Situation?"

Maybe this would be easier if she tried to explain it from the beginning? "We didn't hit it off well when you first moved here."

He chuckled. "Yeah. I remember." He used to see her more as a wall, an obstacle, between himself and Riley. That all had changed now. She was a friend now, a good friend. It was crazy. A lot can change in seven months.

"And, honestly, I only entertained the idea of you and Riley just so she could get away from Charlie. I never liked him. I never understood why Riley stayed with him so long. It's like…" she trailed off when she realized she was starting to ramble. This conversation wasn't about Charlie. To her, he simply didn't exist anymore. It was the only way she found some sort of sanity from everything that happened. She knew that it was impossible for Lucas and Riley to do the same thing, but it was something that worked for her. Even saying his name felt weird now. "Sorry," she told Lucas as she shook her head to get their conversation back on track. "Anyway…I didn't think you were right for her either. So, I became super protective of her."

He nodded. "I remember that too."

"When she…that night…I saw something else. I mean of course I saw how happy she was after she broke it off with…him, and I knew that you had feelings for her, but that night…the way you were with her…that's when I knew that you were right for her. That you could treat her right…treat her like how she deserves to be treated. So…somewhere along the line…I decided to let my guard down…to let you in…like with Zay." She looked ahead at the pond as she began to twist the friendship ring Riley had given her on her fourteenth birthday around on her finger. "Over the last four months, I just feel like we've gotten closer as we all have hung out. I knew that things were still tense with you and Riley, which I guess is one reason why you and I have been able to reach a new level."

He nodded. "Yeah. I think we've gotten closer too."

"I didn't realize what it all meant it until yesterday. I…care about you Lucas."

He frowned, unsure of where this was headed.

When he didn't say anything, she looked at him and immediately sensed his confusion. "Oh God. No! Not like that. No. I meant that…ok. I've never had a sibling before…and I feel like maybe we're like that. We actually have a lot in common. My dad left when I was seven. I know it's nowhere close to what happened with your family, but I feel like I can relate to being betrayed by someone whose job is to protect you."

He let out a long breath. "Yeah. I honestly don't get it. Why? How could you do something like that to someone you love? How could you hurt them like that?"

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "It's something I ask myself everyday. Look, you don't have to tell me about what happened today. But, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. I love the others, but they all have both of their parents. Granted Farkle's bicker constantly, but there is still a lot of real love there between them. Zay's parents…well, you know. College sweethearts. And Riley's parents…they've literally been together forever. It's like a storybook with them."

"Yeah. I've noticed," he let out a long breath as he turned his eyes back to the pond. "It's just that…he wants me to be in his life again. And I don't know how I feel about it, honestly."

"That's tough. I mean. How do you get past all of that anger and betrayal?"

He chuckled. "If I ever figure it out, I'll let you know."

"I'm here. If you ever want to talk or vent."

"Thanks." A smiled played on his lips. "Sis," he teased.

"Ha ha." She nudged him. "God. You're so annoying."

"I have to be, don't I? It's the job of an older brother, right?" He laughed as he stretched his legs out. He leaned back, as he propped his elbows up behind him. Despite their conversation, he relaxed as he watched the water ripple on the pond. "Thanks. For saying that. I feel the same way, you know? If you ever need anything, I'm there. Just like with Farkle, Zay, and…"

"Riley," she finished again. She glanced at her friendship ring. "I know last night hurt you. It hurt me and she wasn't directing any of that toward me. I need you to know something about Riley."

He looked over at her. "What?"

She let out a breath as her blue eyes looked back at him. "Riley is used to being the one who fixes things. She's used to everyone coming to her with their problems and she somehow magically fixes them every time. She's not used to being the one who needs to be fixed. She hasn't said a word about that night to me. And I'm Maya." Her gaze fell to the ring once more. "I'm her best friend. It hurts that she's holding back, but she's not used to being the one who needs support." She cleared her throat as she propped up her elbows to lean back on the grass in the same manner as Lucas. "I'm not saying what she did was right, and I'm not justifying her behavior at all, but I think that's why she lashed out. There's only so long that you can keep that kind of pain in. Therapy or not. I mean…you of all people should know that with everything going on with your dad."

"Yeah." He sighed.

"Just. Talk to her. She feels awful about what she said last night. She didn't mean it."

He thought about not saying anything. He thought about changing the subject. He couldn't help it though. He knew he needed to talk to Riley about everything, but he also knew that Maya was her best friend. If anyone could dissect what happened last night, it would be her. "But what if she did? Alcohol doesn't make people lie, Maya."

"I know, but she's scared."

"Scared?" He felt his heart sink into his stomach. She was scared? What would she have to be scared of now? "Of what? Me?"

"No," Maya quickly answered. "She's scared to lean on anyone. She's scared that she's not good enough. She's scared to open up to anyone right now. She's scared of how she feels."

"And how does she feel, Maya?"

Maya swallowed under the intensity of his gaze. She knew what he needed to hear, but she wasn't the one who needed to say it. "Talk to her. Both of you just need to talk this whole thing out."

* * *

His talk with Maya made Lucas feel a little bit better about everything, but things were far from ok with Riley. That much was clear when he walked back into the house. Riley sat alone at the kitchen table, her back to them, the first aid kit opened in front of her. The guys were nowhere in sight. He looked at Maya who simply mouthed, 'talk to her' before she cleared her throat, announcing their presence.

"Hey," Riley greeted, not bothering to look at her best friend as she lifted her elbow. "Can you help me with this? I was able to patch up my knee, but now I'm down to one hand and the guys are getting ready." She cringed as she examined the deep scratches that marred her elbow.

Lucas glanced at Maya before he looked back at Riley. "What happened?"

Riley dropped her arm as her eyes darted toward the sound of the voice. "Lucas! I-I-uh…I thought it was just Maya."

"She just had a little accident in the caverns," Maya explained.

"Yeah. I slipped and skinned my knee and elbow pretty badly." Clumsy Riley. No matter where she went or what she was doing, disaster always seemed to strike. She lifted her arm once more as she took another peek at the scratches. "Maya? Can you help me?"

Lucas glanced at Maya. "I got it. Go get ready."

Maya's eyes shifted back and forth between the two one last time before she made a direct beeline toward the girls' bedroom. She would happily leave them alone if it meant that they would actually talk to one another about everything that happened. She knew they belonged together. They just had to figure out how to finally open themselves up to one another.

Lucas took a deep breath as he walked toward the brunette. "Let me see," he said gently as he pulled up a chair next to her. Riley turned toward him as she bent her elbow. "I got all of the dirt cleaned out when we got back. I was the only one who needed to take a shower, anyway. I was covered in mud. They made me sit on a trash bag on the way back so nothing would get on the seat."

Lucas couldn't help but to crack a smile. "I hate I missed that." He reached into the first aid kit to pull out an alcohol wipe. "This might sting," he warned as he opened the packet. He brought it up to her elbow. He noticed her wince before the wipe even made contact with her skin. Without a word, he leaned in and lightly blew on her elbow before he quickly wiped the area.

Riley, who had shut her eyes as soon as he opened the wipe, relaxed as the light breeze seemed to soothe the sting of the alcohol on her cuts. She shuddered slightly as a chill rippled through her. She slowly opened her eyes just as Lucas placed a band-aid on her arm.

"All better," he asked as they both looked at his handiwork.

Riley turned her head to face him. "Yes." Her breath hitched when she realized just how close they were to one another. "Thank you." She swallowed before she diverted her gaze from his eyes.

Unfortunately, her eyes landed on his neck and the spot that had recently taken up residence there. Her face flushed at the sight. "So, it's true," she groaned as she leaned back further away from him.

Confused, Lucas furrowed his eyebrows. "What's true?"

She gestured to the spot. "Your neck."

Lucas immediately brought a hand to the area. "Yeah," he said sheepishly as he stood up.

"I'm sorry," Riley told him as she looked down. "I…um…you can use…some makeup…to cover it up…"

"Thanks." He awkwardly stood next to the table, unsure of what to say or even how to act around her. He looked around the room as the conversation with Maya came back to him. This all had gone on for far too long. His eyes finally landed on Riley, who simply stared at the ground. They needed to talk, and the sooner, the better. "Do you…do you want to go for a walk while the others get ready?"

She let out a breath she didn't realize that she was holding. "I'd love to."


	39. Chapter 39

_**A/N: Three updates in three days? Ok. Here's what's happening: I originally planned to end the story after the next chapter (chapter 40), but then I added something, and the story decided it didn't want to end where I had planned for it to. I've been trying to figure out over the last several days whether or not to continue the story here or do a 'sequel' of sorts. After asking some friends about it, I've decided to split the story and go the 'sequel' route because both halves of it have different themes and I feel like it will make more sense if I just split it. I hope you guys decide to follow me over to the new story once this one finishes.**_

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Riley followed Lucas's lead as he began to walk down the path that he had just walked back from with Maya. He said nothing for a few moments as he tried to collect his thoughts. There was so much to say, so much that they had to talk about, but he wasn't sure where to begin. "I want to show you something."

She nodded quietly as they continued to walk in silence. She didn't know where they were going. She didn't know what happened between him and his father. She didn't know if she should even bring up last night's events. Lucas seeing his father had to have affected him somehow. She knew that he wasn't comfortable enough around her anymore to talk about it. She wanted to ask, but didn't want to put more pressure on him.

She hated this.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out. _'So much for trying to let him lead the conversation,'_ Riley thought to herself. She just couldn't help it. She hated the space between them, even though she was well aware of the fact that she was the reason for all of it. Once she spoke, she couldn't help but to continue her apology. "Lucas, I-I-I didn't mean what I said. It's just that I got so upset and embarrassed and I just wanted to lash out and I shouldn't have. I guess I thought that…if I hurt you like how you hurt me…that somehow…we would be back to an even playing field."

Lucas looked down at the ground as they continued their walk down the path. He was quiet as he took in her apology. It would be easy for him to dismiss the whole thing, but he didn't want to. He needed her to know the truth about everything he felt. It was the only way they could begin to get past it. "I can't keep arguing like this, Riley. I can't stand things the way they are between us right now. And an even playing field? I don't even understand that. What's going on with you? The Riley I know wouldn't have purposefully tried to hurt me like that."

"I don't know," she confessed as her frustration with herself finally reached a boiling point. Why would she do that? That's not who she was. She would never just lash out like that. She was just so upset about being rejected by him, by seeing him with Jessica, dancing with her…why did she have to ruin everything she touched? She lowered her voice as she tried to work through all of the emotions she had been feeling in the last several months. "I just…we haven't really talked in such a long time. And I thought that this trip would just…bring us closer…but it's just torn us apart, and I don't know how to stop it."

He glanced at her. Someone had to say it. Everyone else was thinking it. She had to be too. It was time they faced the only problem they ever really had with one another. "We have a big communication problem. And now the others are getting dragged into it, and it's not fair to them."

"I know."

"Look," he stopped walking so he could look her in the eyes—the same eyes that had always seemed to capture him, had always made him want to give her anything she wanted. He knew he couldn't do that right now. He couldn't just brush this under the rug. They had to talk about it—no matter how awkward it got. "This all got started because I was upset that you wouldn't tell me what happened with…" he didn't finish the sentence. He didn't need to and he didn't want to ever mention his name again. He wasn't important. "And I realized that just because I was ready to tell you about my past, I shouldn't expect you to be ready to tell me about yours. I know that…I know that you're still trying to get past it, and that you're going to stumble, but I need you to know that I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded, slightly surprised by his words. So, he wasn't mad? They could just forget about last night and pretend it never happened? "That means a lot to me. Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet." He took a deep breath. "We do need to talk about last night."

She was afraid he would say that. "Where do you want to start?"

He wasn't going to ask about her clothes. Whatever choices she made with her wardrobe were completely up to her. However, he did need to know the answers to other decisions she made. "Why did you drink?"

Riley looked down. She knew if there was ever going to be a chance of them getting past the previous night, she needed to be completely honest with him right now. He deserved to know the truth. He was right. He had always been open with her while she shut him out time and time again. If she wanted to prove to him how much she cared about him, she needed to do this. "I was jealous."

He scratched his head. He knew that she had gotten jealous. Maya had all but confirmed what he had already suspected. He hated that she felt that way. That wasn't his intention at all. "Jealous."

"Oh come on," she crossed her arms over her chest, "Jessica. You. You and Jessica. She's…she's beautiful, Lucas. And…she was your first love. Your first…everything. I know we aren't together, but considering my very real feelings for you, it's intimidating to say the least."

He couldn't help the flutter in his chest at her admission of her 'very real feelings' for him, but he couldn't analyze her words right now. Right now, he needed to figure this out. "Riley, have I given you any indication that I wanted to be with Jessica again?"

"No, but—"

"No," he emphasized. "There is no 'but'. I haven't done anything to give you that idea because I don't want to be with her again."

She heard him. She really did, but she had to make sure. She had to hear it again. "You don't?"

"No. She was a part of my life when I was trying to be someone I wasn't. She's been there for me through some of the hardest moments of my life. There is history there, but that's all it is, Riley. It's _history_. I'm not the same person I was before."

She knew that. He wasn't the same person he was when they met. He wasn't even the same person he was at New Year's. She never doubted who he was, but it just didn't make sense to her why he wouldn't be with someone like Jessica. She seemed pretty perfect, even if she was a little…bitchy. "Now I feel really stupid."

He shook his head. "You aren't. We just can't seem to communicate very well. And I want to fix that."

"I do too." She took a deep breath. "With everything going on, I just wanted this trip to be fun, you know? Then Jessica shows up and it felt even more awkward with you. And then Maddie and Tae started their set and it just…it felt like I couldn't breathe. I needed some sort of escape. So…I did something I never have before."

He crossed his arms over his chest as a small smile formed on his lips. "And how did that work?"

"Pretty good for awhile there," she joked as a flash of her jumping into his arms entered her mind. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she quickly chased the memory away. "But definitely not worth how I feel about it now."

Lucas rubbed the back of his neck as his thoughts seemed to align with hers. They needed to talk about that too, and he knew it was going to be more than a little uncomfortable. "At least you have an excuse."

"What?"

"I'm sorry…for…that."

"What do you have to be sorry about? I was the one who acted like an idiot."

"You were intoxicated," he reasoned. "I wasn't. And we…kissed." As he looked back on it, he felt like he took complete advantage of her. He replayed the memory of it over and over again as he tried to figure out how he could have stopped things sooner, or prevent them from happening at all. He wasn't sure what had overcome him. They were arguing, and then she looked up at him just as he had always dreamed of her looking at him, and he couldn't control himself anymore. He had wanted to do that for months. Some mix of anger, passion, and longing caused him to not overthink everything in that moment and just do what he wanted to do. And in the end, it only tore them apart even more than they already were.

Riley's mouth formed an 'o' before she looked down. She felt her cheeks redden as the very vivid memory of making out with Lucas crept back into her mind. Part of her wasn't sure how much of it was real and how much of it had been some sort of dream. She was certain she remembered the evening fairly clearly, but she still wasn't certain where reality ended and where her dreams began. "We did. A lot."

He nodded as he looked away from her. "I should have stopped it before I did."

"And I should have kept my mouth shut," she mumbled to herself.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "What?"

She was almost certain that he hadn't heard her. It would easy to make up something else, but she didn't want to. She wanted to be honest with him about how she felt—even though it scared her. "I shouldn't have…I shouldn't have said…what I said."

"Yeah," he said softly. His heart lurched at her admission. Of course she didn't mean it. She was drunk. She got caught up in the moment. He wasn't sure why he had even entertained the idea that it was how she really felt.

"But not because…" she ran a hand through her hair as she noticed his change in demeanor. Did he…want her to feel that way? Riley wouldn't allow herself to hope for that. She wanted to run away from this, this vulnerability with him, but she couldn't because she wanted to be honest with him, and if it meant getting her heart broken, then so be it. "Not because I didn't mean it."

Lucas's head snapped up.

"I-I did," she continued. "But…you were right. No one should hear that for the first time while the other person is drunk. So…I'm sorry for that. And I know that it makes things even more complicated between us now, but I…I want to be honest with you."

A million different thoughts ran through Lucas's mind. She meant what she said? She loved him? He wanted nothing more than to confess his own feelings to her, but they still needed to talk about some things. Maybe they needed to slow everything down again? A lot had happened between them just within the last day. Maybe they both needed time to process everything? "At least we're talking about it now."

She nodded. "That's progress, right?"

He smiled. He missed this. Just talking to her. Granted, it wasn't the easiest conversation, but it was a start. They turned back around as they continued down the path.

They were silent for a few minutes as they both reflected on their conversation. Riley felt a little relieved about everything, but there was still one thing that was nagging at her, one thing that Lucas hadn't asked about yet. She had a sinking feeling why he hadn't brought it up. "I know you aren't him."

"Yeah, I know," he said flippantly.

"No, I mean it." She realized by his reaction that she had hurt him, and that he had reflected on her harsh words for far longer than he ever should have. He needed to know how she really saw him. "You aren't him and…you're not your father either. Lucas, I do trust you. I know that you'd never…you know."

He wasn't going to bring it up. He wasn't going to ask about it. He was scared to after the conversation with his father. It would probably be his undoing if she ever really saw him like that. "How do you know? I mean…I grew up with that. I could turn into that."

"It's not possible," she assured him. "I told you a long time ago that I wasn't scared of you. And that hasn't changed. You're not like him." She hated that she said what she did. She exposed one of his deepest insecurities, and she didn't care how long it took—she was going to make sure he knew that he wasn't like them, and could never be like them. "Your concerns didn't come from a place of trying to control me. I know that you were just trying to protect me…from myself, from someone else who could hurt me. I know I pushed you last night."

"Yeah. Maybe a little."

She wasn't about to let him just brush this off. She had a lot to apologize for. "Or a lot. Lucas, I'm so sorry. I know this is your vacation too and I've just completely screwed it up."

"You haven't. I'm glad you're here." No matter how bad things got between them, he was so grateful that she came. She gave him the push he needed to face Tombstone. She was also the reason that he felt like he could see his father. Even though they were at their worst with one another last night, he began to hope that maybe they would come out of everything stronger than they were before everything fell apart.

She couldn't believe it. He was glad she came to Texas after all of the horrible things she said? "Really? Even after last night?"

He nodded. "Even after last night."

She smiled. She didn't realize how badly she wanted to hear those words until he had actually voiced them. "So, what happens next?"

"I show you my spot," he said as they finally reached the hill. "When I was little, this spot was my escape from the world. I thought that no one knew I was here. Well…apparently Pappy Joe knew, but I would just sit here and think, look at the pond, just take in the peacefulness. It was honestly the only peace I knew for a long time."

"It's beautiful," she breathed. "I feel like I could just get lost out here." She looked up at the sky. "The sun's setting," she mused as she noticed the sky was filled with beautiful shades of pink and orange. It was so picturesque—and a moment she knew she would remember for a long time.

"Wow." He watched as the sky began to slowly change colors. "It's been a long time since I enjoyed a sunset from here." He sat down on the grass before he turned to her. "Want to watch it with me?"

She gave him a small smile as she sat next to him. They watched in silence as the sun slowly dipped below the horizon. Riley couldn't believe all of the beauty she had just experienced. It felt like an omen after their conversation. She knew everything hadn't been settled. She knew they had a lot more to talk about, but this was a start. She was open and honest, and she knew that he was too. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For sharing this sunset with me. And this place." It seemed so remote, so incredibly peaceful. As she looked around the area, an idea formed in her mind. "It's not too far from the house."

He shook his head as he looked behind him. He could still see Pappy Joe's house from where they sat. "Not at all."

Riley turned to face him. "I bet it's a great place to stargaze."

Lucas let out a small chuckle. He had been coming to this spot ever since he was eight years old and not once had ever thought about stargazing there. "Believe it or not, I've never come out here at night."

"Really?"

He nodded.

"Well, when we get back tonight, if you can't get any sleep or anything, maybe we can come out here and just look at the stars for awhile?"

He smiled. "I'd like that."


	40. Chapter 40

_**A/N: Well, this is it. If you want to get off of this crazy AU train, now is your chance. Serendipity is now over, but the story continues. I have posted the prologue to the second half of this story. It's called "Amaranthine".**_

 _ **I want to thank every single one of you for taking the time to read, review, follow, fav, and promote this story. I've loved writing every single word, and I hope the ending does not disappoint. I hope you all decide to read "Amaranthine".**_

* * *

Chapter Forty

She wasn't sure why she waited until Maya was asleep before she left the room. Maybe it was because she didn't want to have to answer questions she didn't know the answers to yet? Maybe it was because she didn't want Maya to get her excited over something that it probably wasn't? Maybe it was because Riley didn't want Maya to know about it in case Maya wanted to come? Riley loved her best friend more than anyone, but Riley needed to talk to him, spend time with him without the others. She needed to tell him some things, and she was beginning to think that stargazing could become 'their thing', and she didn't want to share. As she crept outside, she noticed that Lucas was sitting on the porch steps as he did the first night they arrived, his eyes focused on the sky above him. Riley said nothing as she sat next to him.

"Ready to go," he asked, not taking his eyes off of the heavens above him.

"Absolutely. The sky looks amazing here, but I bet it's even more breathtaking away from the lights coming from the house."

He gave her a half smile as his eyes fell to her. "Let's go find out."

He reached for the blankets that sat on the other side of him. Once tucked under his arm, he turned on the flashlight the he also brought. It took them a little longer than it had earlier to get to his spot on the hill, as they had to navigate their way through in the dark.

Once they reached their destination, Lucas laid one of the blankets down on the grass. He gestured for Riley to lay down on top of it. When she did, he covered her up with the other blanket. He said nothing as he laid down next to her on top of both blankets.

She waited until he got situated next to her before she spoke. "You knew I'd be cold." She knew she shouldn't be surprised at this point. Lucas had done a pretty good job of knowing what she needed before she ever had to voice anything. This shouldn't have surprised her, but it did. He knew her so completely without her having to say anything.

He shrugged. "It's a chilly night. Colder than the first night…and you were cold then." He knew that his guard was still up around her, but he couldn't help it. Their talk a few hours ago helped. The lightheartedness of their evening at the arcade was incredible. They laughed. They played some games together. All five of them easily had their best night in Texas, but something was still this invisible wall between Riley and him. He knew he wasn't going to get all of the answers he wanted in one day. He wanted to give her all the time she needed before she felt comfortable with him. He wanted to be supportive of her, but he knew that he had to protect his heart too. She wasn't sure if she knew it yet, but the girl who laid next to him held his heart in the palm of her hand and she could obliterate it in one crushing blow if she wanted to. Giving that kind of power to another human being was the scariest thing in the world. He was completely helpless when it came down to it. He wasn't sure when she had stolen it from him. He wasn't sure if he wanted it back. He just wanted them to be ok.

She turned her head to look up at the night sky. "I can't believe we only have two days left."

He sighed. As intense as the last few days had been, as long as some of those minutes had seemed, it felt like the whole trip was flying by them. "Yeah. It's gone by so fast."

"Too fast," she agreed. "Wow," she breathed as she took in the sight above her. Stars peppered the skies above them. She could see so many more of them out here as opposed to their previous position on the front porch.

Lucas, who had lived most of his whole life in this area, was just as taken aback. He had never seen so many stars. "Incredible, isn't it?"

She nodded. "It's so beautiful. I honestly don't know what to look at. It's like a sensory overload or something. Should I look for constellations? Shooting stars? Or should I just try to count them all?"

He turned his head to her as he smiled. There she was. His Riley. Completely in awe with the world around her. He hadn't seen this side of her since before everything happened. God, he had missed her.

"What's been your favorite part of the trip so far," she asked, still mesmerized by the sight in front of her, oblivious to the fact that Lucas had his eyes on her and not the light show that hovered above them.

An image of Riley jumping into his arms flashed through his mind at her question. Even though there was a big part of him that wanted to tell her that was one of his favorite parts (because it was completely true), he thought better of it. They both were in a weird place last night and the last thing he wanted to do was to make her uncomfortable—not when he felt like he was finally getting her back. "Right now is pretty high up there," he replied honestly. He felt like he could breathe around her again. "You?"

"This one," she said softly as she still looked at the heavens above her. "I don't know how I'm ever going to look up at the sky in New York and not miss this place."

"Well," he let out a breath as he forced himself to look back at the sky. "You're welcome here anytime."

"How did you do it? Leave a place like this just for the city."

He shrugged. At the time, it felt like this place was suffocating him. It was hard to imagine now considering the space that surrounded them versus the crowded streets of New York City. "I didn't have much of a choice at the time. Mom wanted a fresh start…so did I."

They both fell quiet as they just enjoyed the sight above them. It was an incredible moment and one they both knew they would remember for a long time. Lucas wanted to talk to her, tell her about everything he had been thinking. She was one of his best friends. Truthfully, she was his best friend. He missed their conversations. He missed feeling like he could tell her anything and it would be ok. As his thoughts rested on the girl next to him, he realized that the best thing he could do for their friendship, or whatever they were _or_ are _or_ could be, was to be open with her again. While it was the scariest thing in the world, he also found it to be the most peaceful. He needed her. He needed his best friend. "Riley?"

"Yeah?"

"I might come back here for the summer. Work on the farm. Help Pappy Joe out. Maybe even see if…if my dad has changed."

She smiled at him. "That's great, Lucas."

"I never…even considered trying to figure it out with him…that was you."

She scrunched her face up. "Me?"

He felt his heart beat pick up speed as his mind began to race. He needed to do this. He needed her to know just what she's done for him. "You make me want to be better. You see something in me that no one ever really has. They all see the anger, the hatred. You see something…good. You see who I want to be."

She never saw him as some animal. She wasn't sure how anyone could see him like that. She has seen him angry, yes, but she was never once afraid of him. She never questioned her safety around him. "Not who you want to be. Who you are." Looking back on it all, she realized that her feelings for him were always there. The realization came a few days ago, but she knew now that she had felt that way for a very long time.

He shook his head. He wasn't there yet. He knew he wasn't. The dark thoughts that invaded his senses last night was proof of it. He wanted to kill that Justin guy for dancing with her. He wanted to fight the bartender and the mechanical bull attendant for flirting with her. He wanted to stake his claim on the girl next to her, but he knew he couldn't. It wasn't right. It wasn't who he wanted to be. "I don't know about that. But I'm trying." He swallowed as he thought about her words to him last night after he carried her out of Chubbie's. "I think that's why I got so upset about you comparing me with…" He looked back up at the sky. "I don't want to turn into that. I don't want to be like how my father was."

"You won't. And you aren't like…Charlie. Not at all. I was just…upset…and drunk. I couldn't see straight."

"And now?"

Riley opened her mouth to speak, but Lucas cut her off. "Look! It's a shooting star."

Riley turned her head back to the sky just in time to see it zip across the sky.

"Make a wish," he told her.

She took a deep breath as she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she knew that she was ready. Months of avoiding it, of creating this wall between them, of trying to protect him when in reality all he wanted was to be there for her. He wanted to console her. He wanted to share the burden of that night with her. And finally, she was willing to let him do that. "H-He grabbed me."

Confused, Lucas turned his head to her. "What?"

Riley looked above her as she took a shaky breath. She wanted to do this, but it didn't make it any less difficult. "Charlie. It's how…it's how everything began."

He had waited patiently, and at times impatiently, for this moment for the last four months. As she spoke, he realized that maybe some things were too painful to share. He didn't want her to ever have to relive that night. "Riley. You don't have to do this."

"Yeah, I do. That was my wish. To…to find the strength to tell you what I should have told you months ago." She turned her head to face him. "Do you remember the night that you walked me home from play practice? The night we actually had a real conversation?"

He nodded. He remembered the night vividly. It was the night that he realized that his feelings for her were more than an attraction.

"Charlie was…waiting for me. In my room. He had to have come through the window, because my parents didn't know…that he was there. Um…he saw us. He…got mad or scared…I don't know. He grabbed me. Left bruises."

Lucas frowned as he thought back to those days. Were there any signs? Was there any part of it that he could have prevented? "We fought the next day," he remembered.

"Yeah." She tugged the sleeves of her sweatshirt down at the memory of hiding her bruises from everyone. She didn't want him to know. She didn't want him to get involved because she thought it was nothing serious. If she only knew then what she knew now.

"You got mad at me…at play practice…when I grabbed your arms," he said slowly. "Oh God," he rubbed his forehead as a light bulb went off in his mind. He had analyzed that conversation for weeks as he tried to figure out what happened, what he said, what he did, to make her mad. "You were wearing long sleeves. It was October, but it wasn't a cold day. I should've known when you yelled after I grabbed you. I should've—"

"Please don't," she pleaded, "I can't…I can't tell you everything if you're going to feel guilty about it. There was nothing you could have done." She took a deep breath as the sky lulled her back into a place of security. "H-He apologized. I thought it was just a one-time thing. He was upset about you and just…took it out on me. I…uh…nothing else happened until after the play. I…I told him about…you and me. A-About the kiss i-in the costume room."

Lucas clenched his jaw. "What happened?"

"H-He smacked me. I was…I was able to keep the swelling down…on my cheek…so no one would…you know. I…He grabbed me again too. I…" she took a shaky breath, "I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. I felt like…I deserved it. I mean, I was the one who started it. I cheated on him and…I felt like he had a right to act out."

"No, he didn't," he told her gently. He knew that Riley opening up to anyone about Charlie was a huge step. Lucas couldn't believe that after everything that happened over the last few days that she would choose him to share all of this with. He knew he had to remain calm—no matter what she said. He tried to calm the rage that threatened to explode. He had to listen. He knew he couldn't react.

"When you talked to me about your mom, I realized that…that it wasn't my fault. You helped me, Lucas. I broke up with Charlie because you told me about you and your mom. You helped me realize that it wasn't normal…my relationship with him wasn't healthy." She turned her head to him. "I've wanted to thank you for that for awhile now. So…thank you. Thank you for opening up to me. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to do the same."

"Why didn't you tell me after?"

"I was scared. I wasn't protecting Charlie. I was protecting you. I knew that you still had a lot of anger in you. And…I thought it was over. You know? Charlie and I hadn't spoken in a really long time…until the dance."

"I knew something had happened. What did he say to you before I got to you?"

"Same thing. Wanted to know when we started to hook up. H-He grabbed my wrist before you…came over."

"I shouldn't have-"

"Lucas. Please don't. I really can't tell you everything if you try to blame yourself for it. It's not your fault. You couldn't have known. I was…pretty good about covering it up. When you grabbed me last night I just…flashed back to that, I think. I'm sorry. You weren't hurting me. Please don't think that."

He took a deep breath. "Riley, I'd rather hurt myself than ever even think about hurting you."

"I know." She sat up and turned to him.

He mimicked her movement.

"That night…in the mountains…"

As he continued to listen to every painful word, as the tears formed in her eyes, he couldn't help but feel that she was never more beautiful than in that moment. The wall between them was beginning to finally crumble around them. In that moment, he realized that he never felt as close to anyone as he did her, and for her to share this with him, also made him realize that she had to have felt the same way.

"I was getting ready to meet you guys. I was almost done. Maya wanted to go on a walk with Farkle before…I told her to go. I was just going to fix my hair. H-He showed up." She took a deep breath as the memories of that night began to flood her.

Lucas swallowed as she looked down. He gently placed one of his hands on top of hers. He watched as her gaze slowly moved to their hands. He needed her to know that she was safe now, that he wasn't going to judge her for anything she said. He was simply there to listen.

She turned her hand around, palm up, so she could interlace their fingers together. She still didn't look at him. She couldn't right now. If she looked up at him, if she saw those emerald eyes, she knew that she would fall apart. She wanted him to know. She needed him to know. She had to get through this. "He seemed ok…at first. Said he was sorry about everything that he had done to me. Then…h-he kissed me."

Lucas subconsciously squeezed her hand gently as his mind immediately went to a place he had only briefly considered when he thought about the horror she had experienced that night.

"I told him that I didn't care about him like that anymore. He got mad. He yelled at me. He…He saw us, Lucas. He saw us kiss on the slopes. I knew…I knew someone was there." She paused as she thought back to that perfect moment with Lucas. She hated Charlie. That moment was now tainted with the knowledge that he was there. He had witnessed their private moment. She took a deep breath before she finally looked up to face Lucas. Green eyes finally met brown. Instead of breaking down like she feared, she found the strength to continue. "H-He kissed me again. He pushed me back on the…on the bed." Tears formed in her eyes. "He told me that he deserved to be my first…that after three years of dating…he had earned the right to be my first…that's when I knew what…what was going to happen."

It took everything inside of Lucas to not explode in anger. Somehow at the hospital, he had managed to block out the possibility that more than physical violence had occurred. Maybe he did it for self-preservation, because he knew that if Charlie had—nothing would have stopped him from finding Charlie and murdering him, jail or not. He never knew for sure what all had happened between them. Hearing it now made Lucas grateful that Charlie was locked up a few thousand miles away. As angry as he was, he was also equally upset and could feel his heart breaking for her.

"I panicked. I bit his lip. As hard as I could. He hit me. I kicked him. I-I tried to get away, but…I fell…or he tripped me. I don't remember. I know t-that I ended up on the ground. He punched me in the nose and slammed my head into the floor. I don't…I don't remember a lot of what happened after. I just know that he was…he was trying to…to take off my clothes…and I-I saw Maya's snowshoe. I grabbed it and…I hit him as hard as I could. And…somehow I ended up outside. Maya and Farkle found me. I…I thought I was going to die that night. And…if he had…if…h-h-he…" tears streamed down her face, "I-I would want to…die. I'm stuck with three years of memories I just want to forget. I'm stuck with the fact that he was my first date, my first kiss, my first boyfriend…if he was my first…and like that…" she wiped her eyes, "I'm not strong enough to handle it."

Tears had formed in his eyes at her heartbreaking words. "You're the strongest person I know."

Riley scoffed at him as she untangled her hand from his before she wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm not strong," she sniffed. "I'm scared. I'm still scared. I keep my window locked now. I can barely sleep. Most nights Maya has to stay with me because I'm so scared to be alone."

"You fought back. God, Riley, I'm so proud of you for not giving up. For getting out of there. For facing the world again. For…" he trailed off.

"For what?"

He took a deep breath. "For allowing yourself to be close to anyone after that. A lot of people would have crawled up into themselves. They would've shut the world out. They wouldn't trust anyone to be close to them anymore. But you did. You still trusted all of us."

"I didn't tell you. I don't know why. I still don't know why. Maybe I was trying to protect you. I…I don't know."

"You're so strong, Riley. You're so brave."

"I was also afraid that you would…"

"That I would what?"

"That you'd…look at me like…I don't know. Like I was dirty…tainted."

"I'd never think that."

She took a deep breath. "Sorry if I ruined your night."

"Riley, you didn't ruin anything. I'm sorry that I couldn't have stopped it. That I couldn't protect you from it."

"This is why I didn't want to tell you. This isn't your fault. I want…I want to move forward, not backward. I needed you to know what happened…you need to know that there is no way I would ever think you were like him. I trust you. Last night I said a lot of things I wish I could take back…and I also said some things that I wish I had waited to say when I was sober."

"Like what?"

She wiped her eyes. "You know…I thought Charlie had the monopoly on me with firsts, but it's not true. There are so many things that he never got." She looked Lucas in the eye. "I meant what I said last night. I love you. I'm in love with you. And it's the craziest feeling in the world and nothing I have ever felt before. It's like—"

Lucas reached forward, cupping her cheek with his hands as he pulled her in for a gentle kiss. He could feel her tears staining his cheeks, feel her tremble slightly under his touch, and taste the saltiness of the tears that had glistened her lips. Maybe the timing was wrong again, but was there such a thing as right timing when it came to feelings and emotions? He pulled back slightly as his eyes opened to look at her. "Riley Matthews, I'm in love with you. I have been for a very long time. And you're right. It's the craziest feeling in the world. A feeling I've never felt before."

She swallowed. "Yesterday, when you were on the bull…when you fell…I realized what it all meant. This…need to be around you. The dreams. Just. Everything. When I saw you fall, I saw what my world would be like without you in it. I don't want that. I don't…I can't…please tell me that I haven't lost you. That I didn't wait too long."

"Riley. You never lost me."

"Not even after last night?"

He shook his head. "I was scared too. That you really saw me that way."

"I don't. I was just upset…jealous…scared." She brought her hand up to where his rested on her cheek.

He smiled before he leaned in to kiss her once more. He rested his forehead against hers as he committed everything around them to memory. "You know…there are some moments you know you're going to remember forever," he pulled back slightly from her as he cupped her cheeks in his hands once more. "This is one of them."

"So, what happens now?"

He smiled. "I feel like maybe…we should have a first date."

Riley chuckled as the absurdity of his statement. They were in love with one another, had gone through hell and back just to get to where they were now with each other, and they hadn't even had a first date yet. "We're doing this out of order, aren't we?"

He laughed. "We're not a traditional couple, that's for sure."

She bit her lip. She wasn't going to bring it up now, not with the heaviness of her revelation of what happened with Charlie, but she couldn't help it. "A couple?"

"If you…want to be. We've sort of had an unofficial thing going for awhile now."

She couldn't help the smirk that formed on her face. Unofficial? For awhile? "Even when we didn't speak for four months?"

"I never dated anyone during that time. Never even thought about it." His hands found hers as he stared into her hypnotizing eyes once more. He could lose himself in her so easily, so eagerly. He was completely enamored by her. "It's you, Riley. It's been you." He paused. "Riley Matthews?"

"Yes?"

"Would you like to go on a date with me when we get back home?"

She smiled. "I thought you'd never ask."

He let out a small chuckle as he leaned in to kiss her once more.

Riley pulled back from him. "Can we stay out here for a little while longer?"

"Anything you want."

"Good," she said as she slid back underneath the blanket. She waited until Lucas laid down beside her before she scooted closer to him. She didn't say a word as she lifted her head to rest on his chest. When she felt his arm snake around her waist, she knew that everything was going to be ok. Her world, so askew for so long, finally found its balance again.

They were quiet as they both watched the light show above them. After awhile, he felt Riley's head sink further into his chest. He noticed then that her breathing had deepened. She was asleep. "You know," he began as he watched her sleep, "I wasn't looking for you. I wasn't expecting to find anyone who would challenge me, have any sort of faith in me…let alone actually love me." He lifted his head as he lightly kissed the top of her head. "Now that I've found you, Riley Matthews, I don't ever want to let go."

Riley couldn't help the small smile that formed on her sleepy face. She woke up when she felt his lips on the top of her head. Still stuck in the land between sleep and awake, she let his words hang in the air above them as she found herself being whisked away to a land that she hadn't visited in months. As she relaxed in Lucas's embrace, she finally found the peaceful sleep that had eluded her for months.


End file.
